Dusk Secrets

by Addison Beck

Trinity has been my life for the last twenty years, and no messy divorce is going to change that. I’m determined to focus on my faith and make this summer the best season my staff and campers have ever seen. What I didn’t expect was that my newest camp counselor—young, mysterious, angry Noah—would come in and threaten to ruin it all. I couldn’t have predicted that one simple greeting would put me under his spell. That his smile would make me feel things I haven’t felt in years. I want him. More than I’ve ever wanted my soon-to-be ex-wife. More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life. No matter what, I can’t act on these desires. Because the only path this blasphemous attraction will take me is straight to hell.

Dusk Secrets is a strangers-to-lovers, 25+ age gap, boss/employee romance that centers around a Catholic camp director and his infatuation with his newest camp counselor. It’s steamy, heart-warming, frustrating, and will give you a well-deserved HEA.Content warnings include but are not limited to religious homophobia and religious themes. The rest can be found inside the cover under the copyright.

Genres: M M Romance, Religion, Forced Proximity, LGBT, Queer, Forbidden Romance, Emotional

224 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 6, 2023

Reviews

[Peppa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book annoyed me so much…I thought it would get better but it just went worse.
What bothered me the most was Jarred pushing Noah back with his „it’s a sin…god will punish us etc“ but then he crawled back to him and tells him how much he loved him and that he sees things differently. Yeah i get that he is traumatized but the push and pull went on FOREVER!! Jarred was just not a likable character at all to me… the only nice things here were Noah as a character and the sex scenes

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️
Jarred + Noah 🖤
Age gap | Forbidden | First times

More RTC


*potential spoilers below in detailed tropes and trigger warnings



Tropes:
Age gap
Forbidden
First times
Religious camp
Bareback
Begging
Emotional sex
Cabin
Camping
Car sex
Cock cage
Double anal penetration
Forced proximity
Frotting
Hurt/comfort
Jealousy
"little shit"
Love making
Needy bottom
Opposites attract
Pierced nipples
Pierced peen
Secret relationship
Size difference
Skinny dipping
Smaller top
Soft top
"stay"
sex toys
Versatile roles

TW's:
Religious trauma
Abusive parent
Child abuse
Childhood trauma

[Gaby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was not expecting this book to be so deep, I don't know why but I had this idea where it was just pure smut, and like yes but also a lot of guilt, angst and religion.

[Sparkle (Roronoa Zoro’s girl) {in the longest slump🥴} 💜Tortured Reader🤍]

I read this so you wouldn’t have to. You’re welcome💜✨
I had no issues with the tropes or elements that was in the books but the inconsistencies with the characters and discrepancies in the story was just not doing it for me.
No rating

[ya.vl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Чесно, то я не думала що мені сподобається ця книга, я ставилась до неї скептично
Взяла почитати чисто «по-приколу» а насправді вона перевершила всі мої очікування
І вона точно стала однією з найкращих прочитаних книг за останній час
В мене питання виникло:
Чому в чоловіків такі здорові стосунки? Наскільки вони прекрасні обоє, як вони тримались один за одного, підтримували і допомагали 🥹 я просто хотіла ці моменти перечитати декілька разів
Сподобались мені ще другорядні герої, які вони адекватні, свідомі, не було засудження і осуду тільки щире щастя за них двох
Кожен заслуговує на щастя, і це не залежить від того кого ти любиш, хлопців чи дівчат
Одна цитата яка дуже запам’яталась
«Він не зцілився від того, що сталося багато років тому, але я допоможу йому. Я буду поруч. Я зроблю все можливе, щоб він зрозумів, що він ідеальний такий, який він є.»🥰
Мої сонечка☀️ я величезна фанатка їхньої пари❤️ а ще мені було дуже їх мало, навіть дочитувати не хотіла

[Emna · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a VERY decent read if you’re looking for something light and without high expectations .

[kaye taz · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.7 ⭐️
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️/5
Format: ebook

Oh man, did I eat this up.

I love me a reverse age gap and this totally slayed in every single way. I loved that Noah was the more dominant in the relationship. I loved how he pursued Jarred. The chemistry and the spice were so hot. This just checked so many boxes for me.

I think the religious aspects were done really well, for both Noah and Jarred. Noah’s inner monologue really hit close to home for me as someone who grew up Catholic and wound up leaving the Church. This paragraph in particular:
”It was a life of suppressing who I really was. It was always being told to be quiet, be invisible, be forgettable. It was being consistently told that my mere existence was an inconvenience and the least I could do was make myself as small as possible to make up for that.”

I also really liked that just because Noah lost his faith, he never expected Jarred to. He never asked him to choose between him or God. He actually was adamant that he didn’t do that.

I just really enjoyed them as a couple. Noah was very emotionally mature to the point that the age gap really didn’t matter. He was Jarred’s equal in every way.

The spice was insane. All I will say is this is worth reading just for that alone. They were insatiable and depraved and kinky.

My only issue was the third act. I hated the things that Jarred said to Noah, and I hated that I saw it coming from the beginning. I also kind of feel like the groveling was not nearly enough. Plus the ending just seemed a bit rushed.

I am really excited for Father Matteo’s book to come out.

[readingwithmiaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️
4🌶️



Y’all, I Wasn’t Expecting To Love This Book As Much As I Did. Was The Age Gap Maybe A Little Bit Big, Yeah, Did I Mind It, No, And Did I Love This Book Anyway, Absolutely. Jarrad And Noah Were Just Really Amazing Characters That Were Fleshed Out And I Loved The Hurt/Comfort In This Book So Much It Was So Lovely To See. I Loved Them So Much And There Ending Was So Well Deserved. And Some Of The Side Characters In This Book Were Just Amazing. I’m Really Hoping Patrick Maybe Will Get A Book Because I Love Him So Much. Also The Spice In The Book Was SO GOOD! So Hot It Was Fantastic. I Cannot Wait For Mateo’s Book Because I Have A Feeling His Book Will Be Amazing And Emotional And I Lived Him So Much In This Book That I Have A Feeling His Book Will Be Phenomenal. Highly Recommend Y’all If Your A Fan Of Religious Books And Age Gaps If You Don’t Mind Them. Addison, I Don’t Know How You DonIt But Keep On Doing It Because Your Books Are Just Simply Amazing I’m Starting To Be Obsessed!💕🫶

[Lily Loves 📚 · Rating 1 out of 5]

The issues I have with this book have nothing to do with the church themes and religion. These characters have a big age gap, 19 and 45. I don’t have any problems with age gaps but I kept wondering what did these men have in common?

Jarred is 45, a devout Catholic, in the midst of a divorce and in the closet. Noah is 19, bisexual and forced to be a counselor at the Catholic camp Jarred runs by his parents. I felt like Jarred acted like a young man and that Noah acted older, or tried to at least. There is instant attraction but Noah is very aggressive with his flirting. There was no spending time together getting to know each other before they are groping one another. Everything was about sex.

During the sex scenes Noah seemed to be years older. I didn’t ever fully believe these characters were the ages they were supposed to be. Jarred made horrible decisions, having sex in inappropriate places. If there was a slow burn I would have enjoyed this but it seemed to just rush right into sex.

I am not giving this a rating. I thought the message of loving yourself was done well and the religious aspect didn’t overshadow the book. There is a good story here but I couldn’t see past the issues I had.

ARC received for review
All thoughts and opinions are my own

[peoniesandmm · Rating 5 out of 5]

okay these characters were so precious.
that smut was on another level, hot as hell 🥵😏
i loved the story line and the way everything unfolded, i typically don’t love third act breakup situations but i feel like this one really compliments the story and makes sense. this was such a good read.

i swear addison never misses 🤌🏽

[Tonya ✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was definitely not what I expected. I've read my fair share amounts of books with some religious backgrounds and I enjoyed this one. The spice in this also was hot asf as well.

[Sara | bigborrowedbooks]

DNF at 45%

Too insta love, the age gap isn’t believable enough, just not quite where it needs to be to keep me interested

[book_reader_addict]

DNF at 48%
Generally I find it cringe when someone that’s 19 is the dominant and aggressor in the relationship.. I just can’t believe it.
And I don’t like reading religious books so that’s on me, for choosing to read a book that takes place in a catholic children’s camp

[kaleigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delicious😋

Safety info:
• no V (H1 has never done anything with a man aside from kissing)
• cheating- H1 is married with 2 kids in their 20s. His wife cheated on him 3 months ago and he caught her in the act. He wants a divorce but she refuses to sign the divorce papers. So technically he is still married when he met H2. He has not been with his wife since he caught her cheating.
• H1 celibate 3 months, H2 celibate since coming to camp
• OM- H2’s friend kisses him on the lips but H2 doesn’t have a chance to react/ kiss him back. H2 has no romantic feelings for his friend but the kiss made him “half hard”. They remain friends, no hard feelings. H1 does see this and is jealous but “claims” his lips after in the woods.
• one switch scene (older guy bottoms) but they have a preference
• no condoms, both are clean
• age gap (19 and 45 I think)
• the MMC who’s never been with a guy takes H2 and a dildo his FIRST time (so unrealistic, it made me cut off 1 star. There was lube but still, the first time is crazy)

[erm · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5! I liked the second one much better. This got tough to read WHICH I KNOW WAS KINDA THE POINT but yeah I couldn’t get over how Jarred spoke to him at the end there

[Bkwrm24 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jarred and Noah ❤️

3.5 Stars ⭐️

Ooof, this was a tough one. Emotionally speaking, there was so much turmoil for these two to overcome... that's the only way I can describe it. I have read m/m stories heavily themed in religion and that so much didn't bother me but these poor guys went through it and it was a lot to take in. I have to say that the end was satisfying and I ended up enjoying the story as a whole. I would recommend this read but be prepared for some harshness because this was far from a fluffy one.

* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review +

[Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love conquers Shame

Noah and Jarred have a tough road to get to their happily ever after. Noah has a self awareness and wisdom beyond his years that makes this age gap romance work. I’m so many ways Jarred is the young naive innocent who needs to grow into his self acceptance. He has so much unresolved childhood trauma that is keeping him paralyzed with fear of living his truth.

One summer with Jarred is all it takes for Jarred to question everything he believes about himself and the religion he was raised in. Dusk Secrets is a must read.

[Agalactiae]

DNF 43%

Mauvaise pioche pour moi ce roman... J'avais survolé le résumé, je savais de quoi il était question.

Je n'ai pas adhéré à la relation entre ce jeune de 19 ans et son supérieur de vingt ans de plus que lui. En soit, ce n'est pas l'age gap qui me dérange, mais là, le fait que le jeune saute littéralement sur le type, qui ne lutte même pas 2 minutes, et craque en se disant « c'est mal, mais trop dur de ne pas craquer » alors qu'il vient à peine de se séparer de sa femme, qu'il se sait hétérosexuel, que l'action se situe dans un camp pour jeunes catholiques.... Bref.

J'ai préféré stopper ma lecture.

[haletostilinski · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I sat with it a bit after finishing this, I realized...was there much I liked about this book?

Not really.

I've absolutely *loved* everything else I've read from this author, so I don't know if it was just because this was one of her earlier works and there was just room to improve or if it was just a...fluke. Or just one that didn't work for me.

I don't know, but whatever it was, this was a bit off the from the start. This took me 6 days to finish because I literally found a fanfic to get invested in instead of this book, because this was so slow for me and I was so...uninterested in this story.

I almost DNF'ed a few times, definitely skimmed here or there. I was very tempted to give up on this. But it was only a bit more than 200 pages...it was so little to get through, right?

Funny how even a relatively short book can seem so long when you're not really into it at all.

I was like...WHEN is this damn thing gonna end?

The only reason I'm not giving it 1 star is...there were a few sweet moments here or there. And the climax with the BIG drama was a shocker for sure and I appreciated it. It was horrible for our MC's to deal with, but I'm always a sucker for people in a secret relationship being found out like that.

So it gets points for the few times it kept my attention and the interesting drama present at the end there.

The rest? Eh...

Noah is 19 and Jarred is 45. Was this a big deal to those most important and close to them? Not really. I get that the gay thing in hyper religious spaces is a big deal, I do. But it seems like that was the bigger deal to people, that two men were together, then a 45 year old man being with a 19 year old.

Like...that was barely brought up. It was almost no big deal. I feel like even outside of a religious community, regular every day people would have a problem with the age thing. That is a HUGE ass age gap and the younger one is VERY young, only a bit over legal age. Most people would freak out about that.

Do most freak out about the age gap? NOPE.

How Noah and Jarred are discovered by the community at large - a lot of the adults freak out. Jarred's soon-to-be ex-wife finds out and freaks out. That's all well and good an makes sense. But they were...freaking out about the gay of it all. Not the age gap.

Why did NO ONE seem to care about that? Their age gap was HUGE. It should have been a WAY bigger deal than it was. Did our MC's care all that much? Noah definitely didn't, and Jarred barely had a qualm about wanting a 19 year old. It was mainly about wanting a man in the first place with Jarred that was his main dilemma.

It all just rang false.

Also...I thought this would be a lot juicier than it was. Huge age gap and two men to boot in a very religious catholic community, and the guy runs a religious summer camp for kids? Come ON. This was RIPE for a huge amount of drama and it would have made sense.

What is it with regular plot romance novels giving TOO much drama - melodrama at that - and the books with the plot/circumstances to have ALL the drama that would MAKE SENSE and then barley doing ANYTHING WITH IT?!

Like even after the big shocking reveal, which was interesting, there's drama and all, but it doesn't take long for Noah and Jarred to make up. Like maybe a month or so passes? A bit more, perhaps, before they make up? When Noah seemed SO resolved to make Jarred work for it to make up for the awful things he says.

And like...this all takes place at the camp and I think it was too isolated. Like we don't even hear much about Jarred's wife who cheated on him and who he's trying to get a divorce to. And she doesn't even show up until the eleventh hour and she's there for like 5 seconds, is nasty, and then leaves and we never hear from her again. It was so disappointing. So much drama could have stemmed from that plot thread.

Also Jarred's twin children are 6 years OLDER than Noah, is there any drama with them? NOPE. They are SUPER accepting! Which, great, but also not great because where's the damn drama? What person wouldn't be upset about their father being with someone 6 years YOUNGER than them? Someone still technically a teenager? Like yeah they say the age gap makes them a bit uncomfy but it doesn't really. They're super nice and supportive and all that.

Even our main antagonist was like...okayyy?? Bryce or whatever is this asshole counselor who is clearly homophobic and he causes the dramatic climax and he actually filmed them without their consent! and all he gets is a slap on the wrist that we hear about IN THE EPILOGUE?? No consequences for the clearly illegal shit he did?

Noah isn't even able to get proper revenge on him because others stop him from beating the little shit to a pulp.

Like?? At every turn any drama was curtailed and what little we did get was dealt with so easily. Like even though Jarred was dealing with religious guilt throughout this and he was so back and forth with it, there still wasn't all that much drama.

Like honestly, I read this so I could read the second book, which I am REALLY hoping is a lot better than this one when I get to it. Father Mateo is the MC of the next one and I liked him in this book, so I HOPE the second one is a significant improvement on this one.

It just...they're at a camp so not a lot of plot can come from that (and Jarred is the head of the camp while Noah is a counselor, so a lot less of them than the kids to potentially cause drama) and also these two happen way too fast. I didn't get why they were into each other so quickly.

I didn't feel the chemistry because of that, of this not taking enough time to establish a connection between these two. It didn't help that this took away a lot of the tension that could have come from how forbidden their relationship is or could have been by having more people - the most important people - react more angrily and dramatically. Even just getting more detailed about the people en masse and how they reacted.

Like by the epilogue a lot of it all was able to blow over. Just no real fallout from the scandal, no connection with the fallout, even though we had Jarred freak out SO much over it and feel his life was over because of it.

Like honestly I couldn't think about much that I liked about this, other than the very few things I mentioned above. Also, I guess...there's nothing I particularly hated about this either. There's nothing that truly pissed me off or anything, which I think is what would truly make me give this 1 star.

It was just...not that great. It had the bones of a great story but failed to deliver on all fronts, basically.

Noah and Jarred could have carried a lot of this too, if I wasn't so 'eh' about their dynamic. Noah was too confident, dominant and bull headed for being the younger one. Wasn't much of a fan of Jarred being the bottom, and honestly it felt at times their ages could have been switched. Jarred rarely felt like a 45 year old man. Noah felt too old for his age. And not in a "old soul" way, but like he didn't come across as a 19 year old.

Like I get there are 19 year olds that can be pretty mature overall, but they're still so young, just freshly into adulthood, and there's still that...young feeling about that? I didn't get that with Noah. He felt more like he could have been mid to late 20's and nothing would have changed about this story, honestly.

Like make him that old and people's lack of reaction about the age gap would make more sense. Him being well into his 20's isn't a big deal, even with a 20 or so age gap.

Or just...make people react more and make him feel more his age 🤷‍♀️

This whole book was just so off. I dunno how I finished it, tbh. The need to DNF was strong with this one. But finished I did - with a few skims here or there later on in the book - and I was able to confirm that it doesn't get better.

Just yeah, no. This one wasn't it. I do love this author, though, so I'm really hoping Father Mateo's book is much better. Here's hoping🤞

This one...just wasn't it.

Better luck next time.

[Ash · Rating 2 out of 5]

*Came back to knock it down to 2 stars after further consideration. This is wild and I cannot believe I read it. What even was that.

I really wanted to like this. The premise is so good and the characters were so different and not roles you generally assume them to be in. I love Beck and a few of their books are in my top reads.

But this just...didn't hit.

How many times can one man end a situationship before you just call it quits for good? Jesus (literally). There were times where I was sure that the characters were switched up. That there was no way that I was to believe a 45 year old man would behave like this? Or a 19 year old for that matter.

It just bothered me. If you like the "will they, wont they" of a story, boy is this the book for you.

Jarred would run and then come back with puppy dog eyes and a "but God said" and Noah would immediately cave. Because he's 19. It wasn't even back and forth. It was a 45 year old man bolting at every minor inconvenience and a 19 year old with the emotional maturity of a literal saint. Jarred had the emotional intelligence of a thumb and I just wasn't on board with that.

I am usually fairly lax with reviews because i'm just here for a good time, but damn did this book grind my gears😂 It wasn't even the religious aspect, it was the human aspect.

Anywho, three stars for some wildly (unrealistic) hot smut and cool side characters. 😉

[CC · Rating 2 out of 5]

The positive:
Loved the themes of acceptance and self love.

The negatives:
The age gap was just too great since I couldn’t imagine what Jarred 45 and Noah 19 could have in common. They didn’t share similar interests or had a common passion.

Sex doesn’t make a romance or a relationship and that’s all they did throughout the whole book.

I found the carelessness of their constant sexcapades a little inappropriate and irresponsible since these two were supposed to be in charge of a summer camp with children. Like, priorities people!

I don’t get the sudden use of “marijuana” by Jarred. Was it supposed to make him cool or a sign that he accepts himself as a gay man? I was a bit confused by the inclusion of this particular aspect.

[briannasbooked · Rating 4 out of 5]

Noah & Jarred

This book was so good! I saw one post on Insta that convinced me to read it (those smutty quotes worked! 😏). I had almost no clue what to expect, but I loved every word! The growth of both Noah and Jarred, both together and separately, was beautiful. I hated their pain but the reunion was so worth it. Fabulous read!

[Brat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely story I just don’t get into the religion aspect of it but I just LOVED the huge age gap (45, 19)

[AroundtheBookBend · Rating 5 out of 5]

Addison Beck does it again

I’m officially an Addison Beck fan! Every book I’ve read by this author has been five stars and has left me obsessed. And this was no different.

Jarred and Noah were so good together. Even with all the uncertainties due to the age gap, coming to terms with sexuality, and religious trauma pressing down on them. Trauma like this doesn’t just go away, and I love the way it was handled here.

It was a tough journey for the both of them. Learning acceptance for yourself can be extremely hard. Watching Jarred learn that broke my heart. And Noah, though he had already done that in some ways, had to learn it fully as well.

Can’t wait for book two. Father Matteo has me so curious, and I loved his role in this one.

[ʚ⋅ɞ .ᐟㅤem. · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 stars! <3

I want friends like Noah in my life. So accepting and kind in his own grungy way. Grumpy, yes, but he's definitely lovable. I enjoyed reading this a lot!!

[DeniReadsMostlyMM · Rating 4 out of 5]

***ARC Review***

This is my honest and voluntary review for the ARC I received.

This book is intense. Be sure to check out the author’s content warning at the beginning of the book for potential triggers. Jarred is struggling with his religious and moral convictions. Noah is struggling with the church and others detracting from his worth because of his sexuality, though Noah accepts himself. Jarred suffers from some deeply seated self-hate that results from the abuse he received from his homophobic father as a child.

Jarred and Noah are drawn to one another almost immediately. Jarred is finally able to succumb to the urges that he has suppressed all of his life. There is a 26 year age gap between Jarred and Noah. That said, Noah is often the one offering sound advice, comfort, and support. He gives Jarred the breathing room he needs (to an extent) to grow and come to terms with his new reality.

The chemistry between Jarred and Noah is incendiary. Their stolen moments at Camp Trinity are both risky and hot AF. It definitely leads to some conflict in the story. It broke my heart that Jarred blamed Noah after the big incident that occurs. No spoilers, but it’s a rough situation all around. I tried to understand the panic that drove Jarred to say the things he did, but it wasn’t fair to Noah. This particular situation was hard because neither of them knew about it or planned for it. Jarred wises up and tries to fix what he broke. I was impressed at Noah’s ability to eventually move past it.

Most of the side characters in this book are good support systems for the MCs. I appreciated Father Matteo’s reaction(s) to Jarred’s confessions. I love how protective Noah is of Patrick. Mary and Parker are amazing human beings. (Bryce is a terrible human being).

This book is an emotional journey towards acceptance. Jarred and Noah work really hard to get their HEA. The epilogue is really heartwarming. You should check this book out if you are a fan of Addison Beck or high(er) angst romance stories.

[Mal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first book from the author and it definitely won’t be the last. Beck gives us a love story of two men holding a host of dichotomous truths, riddled with so many hard and heavy topics that are authentically and sensitively tackled.

I loved Noah as a character straddling the line between growing up and grown up, just nineteen but with a clear sense of self, courage and a soft heart for the underdog but also showing sweet sparks of hesitance, pushing boundaries for self discovery and a sense of idealism reflective of his age. My heart broke for Jarred, suppressing huge and important parts of himself, first as a child who should have been protected and then as an adult who should have been seen. Watching him struggle was truly heartbreaking but his resilience shines through as does his warm heart and in many ways he straddles the same line as Noah despite being 25 years older, learning more about himself, grappling with his loss of self and his traumas and learning to love and be loved despite being shown the contrary - one of my favourite things about his character are the growth and evolutions as well his distinct love for his children, who by the way were stellar.

I loved the way the story unfolds with first a triggered attraction, resistance then the giving in, all the self questioning and doubt being worked through, the precipice and the failure to self and then the difficult and hard recovery and reconnection.

Expect:
* Age gap
* Religious themes
* High heat
* Closeted MC
* HEA
* Boss/employee


There are loads of triggering topics like abuse, mentions of suicide and religious trauma to name a few so please read the CWs.

[Avery · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jarred has run his catholic camp, Camp Trinity for the last twenty years, but this year is different. This is the first time leading his summer camp since he caught his wife cheating on him. His focus is on making this the best summer camp yet and to finally push his divorce through.

But all that changes when Noah turns up. A new camp counselor who doesn’t want to be there. He is everything Jarred shouldn’t want, only nineteen years old, angry, pierced and a man. Something crackles between them, and neither can deny the attraction they feel for each other. But how do you turn your back on your faith and give into all the urges they tried to beat out of you.

This story was dark at times, with the way Jarred had to relive the way his father tried to get the gay out of him, even if this is fiction, somewhere in the world there are people for who this reality, which makes it hard to read. And Noah coming to blows with his homophobic parents was equally as bad. So, beware of your triggers before reading and heed the warnings. But besides these heavy scenes this book was also a lot of fun. Noah getting Jarred out of his shell, teaching him all the fun in some very steamy scenes.

The main focus is on our two MMC’s but there were some very nice side characters who I feel could end up with stories themselves, so who knows, maybe we’ll see them again!

Jarred and Noah had a long way to go, a lifetime of indoctrination to overcome but in the end, they were it for each other. I loved the message in this story, that sometimes love is faith, if it makes you happy and fills your heart, it can never be wrong.

I received an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars. I loved Jarred and Noah's story. It's filled with a lot of trauma and growth. The author covers many sensitive topics and delves deep into finding acceptance within a religious environment that's not always tolerant.

The heavy topics are handled with care and the reader really gets to see into the mind of Jarred, someone who cannot accept his own identity based on what he was brought up to believe. Through Noah's love and patience, he manages to reconcile all the broken parts of himself that he's been compartmentalizing and hiding.

Noah by far is the star of the book. He's so uncompromising in who he is and so unapologetic in how he presents himself. Although jaded based on his own upbringing, he's rather open-minded when it comes to those around him. I love how he make everyone feel included and how he protects those that cannot protect themselves.

Overall I really loved this book, but something about the pacing threw me off at times. Some parts were drawn out and others ended too quickly, there was a bit of imbalance. Definitely worth a read though.

And be sure to grab the bonus epilogue scene - it's delicious!

Thank you to the author for the ARC in exchange for my honest review!

[Анастасія ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Для мене тут було занадто багато оцього біблійного. Трішки підзадовбували слова, що геї це гріх і брудно, але АГОВ бити дитину та змушувати її дивитися порно, і якщо він збудеться, то його поб'ють, то це не гріх вашу мать?????? Найбільше в гомофобах і подібних мене дратує те, що геї для них занадто брудні та неправильні, але коли чоловік б'є жінку та дітей, або гвалтує когось, то на це не так звертають увагу(щось таке я пам'ятаю в одній з книжок, де чоловік чи бив, чи гвалтував дружину чи щось таке, але всі накидались на сина, що він гей).

В цій книжці мене дратувало декілька людей:

перша, це дружина Джарреда, вона зрадила але вважає, що «а що тут такого» і відмовляється підписувати документи на розлучення. І окей, може якщо б тут була мова про кохання, на це хтось і може закрити очі, але тут скоріше моральне знищення Джарреда йшло, вона постійно йому щось вказувала. Максимально токсична для мене вона була.

друга, це Брайс, який всі показав відео, на яких Джарред і Ноа, і їхні стосунки. Він був шматком лайна впродовж книжки, і не змінився абсолютно. В кінці там наче була на нього справа заведена, або я помиляюсь, але щось таке написано коротке, що прям і увагу не звернеш.

третя, скоріше треті, це були батьки дітей, і я все розумію, але казати, що геї противно, коли вони побачили відео, це якось лицемірно, бо а гетеро ні? Взагалі для мене люди, які вважають, що геї це нібито гидко та неправильно, дивні, ну тобто чоловік/жінка це окей, але чоловік/чоловік ні. В чому блять проблема, коли двоє дорослих людей зустрічаються, кохають і т.п.?

четверті, це батьки Ноа, вони гомофоби, і коли Ноа сказав, що він геї, то вони відреклись від нього. І слова його батька, що Джарред хворий, захотілось в нього плюнути, ось чесно. Тобто гомосексуальність це хвороба, а гетеросексуальність, то виходить ні? І взагалі, виправдання щодо стосунків, коли хтось каже, що ось бог же не зробив, щоб і чоловік вагітнів, це значить, що чоловік повинен зустрічатися виключно з жінкою. (в книжці такого не було, але у мене просто одразу думка виринула після прочитання її) ЩО ЗА ХУЙНЯ? Взагалі, існують люди, які не хочуть і не збираються народжувати, і є такі гетеросексуальні пари, які відмовляються від дітей, або хтось може просто не може мати через здоров'я, то як її рахувати? Трішки відійшла вже від теми книжки😅

І взагалі тема з богом, що він нібито буде ненавидити, якщо ти геї чи якась інша персона з ЛГБТК, якась дивна для мене, бо на їхню думку, бог створив всіх, але геї якось блять повітряно-крапельним шляхом вийшли чи якось так. Просто же логіка?? Якщо бог зробив гетеро людину, то і гея якбт теж 😐 І люди, які вірять в нього, і прикриваються біблією, з одного боку б'ють своїх дітей, дружину або якось над ними знущається, і з іншого кажуть, що геї це піти проти бога і тебе через це покарають. Подвійні стандарти 😀

Стосунки Джарреда і Ноа для мене були не цікавими??? Ну бляха, я не люблю книжки, де біблійна тематика, я тут гетеро стосунки зі священиками не виводжу, а тут геї. Мені було шкода Ноа, особливо вкінці, він же казав, що він боїться що від нього відмовляться, і що робить Джарред? Правильно! Каже, що той демон, який його розбестив і т.п.

Я не можу сказати що книжка прям жахлива, вона мені подобалась до половини десь, і то моментам. І ще мені сподобався Отець Маттео, він одразу прийняв, що Джарред гей, напевно один з улюблених персонажів він(і про нього є здається книжка). А ще мені сподобались діти Джарреда, які теж адекватно прийняли, що їхній тато гей, і подружилися з Ноа.