Out of the Night that Covers Me: A Family Memoir

by Kandace DeLain Davis

A mother’s violent death. A daughter’s search for answers in small town America.Left an orphan at six years old in 1976, Kandace DeLain Davis grew up in Crossville, Illinois, at her grandparents’ kitschy roadside motor lodge. Seven years earlier, at the Anna State Hospital, Davis’s mother, Mary Ellen Stein, had met her father at what was once known as The Illinois Southern Hospital for the Insane, after suffering from mental illness and addiction most of her adult life. When Mary Ellen was found dead in 1976 with a knife protruding from her chest, her family believed it must be suicide. Fast forward to 2015 when Davis discovered a tiny article from her local small town newspaper, dated not long after her mother’s death, and Davis feared she may not have the full story. This newspaper clipping took her on a four-year journey, navigating through court documents and records of her mother’s over one hundred hospitalizations, searching for the truth of her mother’s death. Was this a case of die by suicide, or was she murdered?

In Out of the Night that Covers Me, Davis narrates her family’s history and details her investigation into the years, months, weeks, and days leading to her mother’s death. Not only does Davis reveal stories of her mother’s life, but she also lovingly shares anecdotes from the life of her grandmother, Faire DeLain Stein. Faire was a woman who made boundless sacrifices to protect the innocent victims of her husband Alvin’s tyrannical behavior and Mary Ellen’s mental illness. Davis includes letters, diary entries, photos, court transcripts, and re-enactments, and these cherished heirlooms tell a heartbreaking but triumphant story. The author interweaves her present day quest for answers with the pivotal events of her family’s early years and her youth in small town America.

This multi-generational family drama examines the decades-long domino effect of unhealthy choices of previous generations and the inherited heartache. However, surprising to readers, they will feel the enduring love of these three generations and realize how much we still have left to learn about mental illness. While Davis searches through her family’s history, we take a front row seat to Midwest life from the Roaring Twenties through the sixties and seventies.

The Stein family story speaks to the global issues of rising suicide rates, struggles to overcome addiction, and the continued poor treatment of mentally ill individuals. As a contrast, on Davis’s path of discovery, themes of friendship, love, and survival shine through as her loved ones and much of her family support her search. But most of all, the author’s investigation of her family’s tragedy in southern Illinois leads readers to a surprise ending where Davis learns that actually…

The truth can set us free.

347 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 23, 2023

Reviews

[Cassandra Mick · Rating 5 out of 5]

The sobering details of the realities of mental health care not so long ago encourage an appreciation of the evolution of the treatments we have to offer and the impact they will have on generations to come if only access to care continues to expand. This book is certainly a testament to the decades-long implications of mental health stigma and is a beacon of strength for those who, like the author and her Gram, utterly refuse to collapse from the weight of it.

[Bonnie Krueger · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do you ‘rate’ a book about someone’s heart and soul poured into a memoir? The ending undid me.

As a fellow writer I approach memoirs/autobiographies with caution. I am engaged by certain writing styles so I know that impacts my interpretation of how much I ‘like’ a book. You approached it with engaging conversational style. You drew me in. You caused me to gasp, reflect and sob. I knew some of your story. I knew of you years before I got to know you personally.

It’s a story of your mom and grandma but it’s also of your resilience and Lisa as your quiet strength. Well done, my friend, well done!

I hope this book brings healing for you and hope to others that they are not alone.

[Odette Driver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hate to say such a sad book Was good.

The lady that wrote this book Did so With such good writing skills. I Envy her To have a strength To write this book. I had Similar Childhood To her But find it very hard To even think about it Much less write about it. I was told I would have it Healing Of the mind If I could write it down. But so far I cannot do it. Thank you Kandi For having the strength To write this book.

[Deborah Schmitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

The nonfiction story itself kept me interested; however, I found myself a bit confused with the information being relayed to me. I'm planning to reread this book at some time. Overall, it's a very interesting story and hit close to home since I, too, have family members who are suffering from mental illness.

[linda auffarth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just excellent

I can't even explain why this may be the best book I have read this year. Mimics many episodes in my own life...sad that that is. The author's grandmother was an angel in disguise. Every child needs one of those. Excellent read. Very well written. Honest and moving.

[Lenora · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Great Memoir

Kandace has written her journey from Wounded to Wholeness.
Traumatic Chaotic Dysfunctional
Mother Wounds.
Reads like a novel. Full of complex stories about her
family.
A great Memoir

[Brandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once I started reading this book I couldn’t put it down. It is a beautiful, yet tragic, story of a daughter’s quest to find out more about her mother’s death. It explores the history of mental illness and makes you realize how far we’ve come even though we have so far left to go. You will smile at the bond between Kandace and her Gram one minute and be outraged at everything her Gram had to go through the next. You’ll be so thankful for the small town community and the family that was looking out for her and then mad at the red tape needed for even Kandace to get the full story of her mom’s illness. You’ll wonder how anyone could ever get through writing this amazing story, but be so thankful that someone did. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, but one that is going to help so many people.

[Sofia Platt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kandi DeLain Davis's memoir is a beautifully written and emotionally powerful journey through the darkness of mental health struggles and the resilience it takes to emerge into the light. Her storytelling is poignant and raw, pulling readers in with a pace that mirrors the highs and lows of her experiences. What makes this memoir truly touching is its authenticity—Davis bares her soul, offering a compelling look at the complexities of mental health and the strength found in vulnerability.

[Gage Atteberry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most vulnerable memoirs I have ever read. As a reader from small town america, this book wonderfully portrays the lifestyle of our area, and the neglect people with mental illnesses have faced. I thank this author for sharing such a tragic story, while also providing a sense of hope in the face of adversity. There are good people out there.

[Stacy Zamecnik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutal yet beautiful

I could not stop reading this fantastic memoir by Kandace Davis! Her grandmother's strength and tenacity was astonishing! Her mother's struggles, heartbreaking. I nearly cried about her brother!The candor in which Kandace tells her families story, and her own is beautiful and brave.

This book is an absolute MUST read!

[Susan Kiel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very emotional read.

A child bonds with maternal grandmother as her mother stumbles through years of mental illness. A well written autobiography of struggle and acceptance of a parent’s suicide.