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The Preternatural Chronicles: Books 0.5-3.5: Preternatural Chronicles Boxsets, Book 1
The first three novels and the prequel novella in the Preternatural I'm Glad You're Dead, Dawn and Quartered, Shadow of a Doubt, and Deliverance.
My name is John Cook, and my life began the day my heart stopped beating.
You meet the most interesting men in Medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn't read the fine print. Because he wasn't talking about a gluten free diet. More like hemoglobin full .
And now I'm a friggin' vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.
Granted, at the time, I was listening to the dying screams of my mother and father being burned and eviscerated alive just outside the rusty bars of the prison cell, and my new best friend was offering me my only real chance at saving my own life and avenging my parents' murderers—some day.
Except my first chance at vengeance took about five hundred years, and I had to wade through oceans of sin and violence, blackening my soul—and my already dark sense of humor—beyond redemption until I met Father Thomes—a Roman Catholic Priest—in present-day Houston. Papa Thomes taught me how to use my dark curse to fight for the good guys. Like Alfred and Robin did for Batman—except we straight up murder Jokers and Two-Faces. Biteman and Pope'n .
We stand up for the downtrodden, the forgotten, and the neglected...
By exsanguinating the wicked in horrific, truly imaginative ways, and having a grand ol' time doing it. You know what they say about doing what you love...
But our party is soon cut short when we learn the End of Days is just around the corner, and that the fine print of my contract might have hidden a few other tidbits. Like the fact that I was central to kicking off the Apocalypse, and that the Archdemons will stop at nothing to make sure The Dude Abides by the terms of his contract.
I guess I need a lawyer.
Get ready to laugh at extreme violence. I know I will. If you're not laughing, you're learning
If you like Jim Butcher, Shayne Silvers, Cameron O'Connell, Kevin Hearne, Steve McHugh, Ilona Andrews, Patricia Briggs, Shannon Mayer, or K.F. Breene, you won't be able to put down the highly addictive Preternatural Chronicles.
"Hunter Blain is my spirit animal." — Shayne Silvers, Amazon Top 25 Bestselling Author
Available in digital, print, and audiobook formats.
What Amazon readers are
★★★★★ 'Let me count the ways I blood thee...'
★★★★★ 'Move over Dresden!'
★★★★★ 'The Preternatural Chronicles MUST come to Netflix. Now.'
★★★★★ 'John Cook puts the G.O.A.T. in gloat.'
★★★★★ 'Shayne Silvers has found the next author to take over Urban Fantasy.'
★★★★★ 'I need John Cook to have a story with Nate Temple. Please.'
★★★★★ 'John Cook loves vegans. Especially when they are served raw.'
★★★★★ 'The only thing that sparkles about this vampire is his fangs in the moonlight.'
★★★★★ 'All the twisted humor of Pulp Fiction, but with a vampire. It's more like Gulp Fiction.'
★★★★★ 'If John Wick was a vampire and hung out with Ryan Reynolds on the weekends.'
★★★★★ 'Revenge is for amateurs, but vengeance is for professional vampires who take their jobs seriously. Like John Cook.'
★★★★★ 'Fans of Morbius, Blade, Buffy, Shade of Devil, and Deadpool will love the Preternatural Chronicles.'
My name is John Cook, and my life began the day my heart stopped beating.
You meet the most interesting men in Medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn't read the fine print. Because he wasn't talking about a gluten free diet. More like hemoglobin full .
And now I'm a friggin' vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.
Granted, at the time, I was listening to the dying screams of my mother and father being burned and eviscerated alive just outside the rusty bars of the prison cell, and my new best friend was offering me my only real chance at saving my own life and avenging my parents' murderers—some day.
Except my first chance at vengeance took about five hundred years, and I had to wade through oceans of sin and violence, blackening my soul—and my already dark sense of humor—beyond redemption until I met Father Thomes—a Roman Catholic Priest—in present-day Houston. Papa Thomes taught me how to use my dark curse to fight for the good guys. Like Alfred and Robin did for Batman—except we straight up murder Jokers and Two-Faces. Biteman and Pope'n .
We stand up for the downtrodden, the forgotten, and the neglected...
By exsanguinating the wicked in horrific, truly imaginative ways, and having a grand ol' time doing it. You know what they say about doing what you love...
But our party is soon cut short when we learn the End of Days is just around the corner, and that the fine print of my contract might have hidden a few other tidbits. Like the fact that I was central to kicking off the Apocalypse, and that the Archdemons will stop at nothing to make sure The Dude Abides by the terms of his contract.
I guess I need a lawyer.
Get ready to laugh at extreme violence. I know I will. If you're not laughing, you're learning
If you like Jim Butcher, Shayne Silvers, Cameron O'Connell, Kevin Hearne, Steve McHugh, Ilona Andrews, Patricia Briggs, Shannon Mayer, or K.F. Breene, you won't be able to put down the highly addictive Preternatural Chronicles.
"Hunter Blain is my spirit animal." — Shayne Silvers, Amazon Top 25 Bestselling Author
Available in digital, print, and audiobook formats.
What Amazon readers are
★★★★★ 'Let me count the ways I blood thee...'
★★★★★ 'Move over Dresden!'
★★★★★ 'The Preternatural Chronicles MUST come to Netflix. Now.'
★★★★★ 'John Cook puts the G.O.A.T. in gloat.'
★★★★★ 'Shayne Silvers has found the next author to take over Urban Fantasy.'
★★★★★ 'I need John Cook to have a story with Nate Temple. Please.'
★★★★★ 'John Cook loves vegans. Especially when they are served raw.'
★★★★★ 'The only thing that sparkles about this vampire is his fangs in the moonlight.'
★★★★★ 'All the twisted humor of Pulp Fiction, but with a vampire. It's more like Gulp Fiction.'
★★★★★ 'If John Wick was a vampire and hung out with Ryan Reynolds on the weekends.'
★★★★★ 'Revenge is for amateurs, but vengeance is for professional vampires who take their jobs seriously. Like John Cook.'
★★★★★ 'Fans of Morbius, Blade, Buffy, Shade of Devil, and Deadpool will love the Preternatural Chronicles.'
1271 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 23, 2023
156 people are currently reading
13 people want to read
About the author
Hunter Blain
32 books200 followersMy name is Hunter, and I’m a wordaholic. I’m also about to break the fourth wall…of your mindhole. Because there is a true story behind this…well…story.
It begins with two best friends who grew up together, breaking rules and raising hell as they shaped each other’s personalities into the shameless assholes they are today. Well, at least for one of them, but I’ll get to that in a moment. These two boys—let’s call them Hunter and John—were all but inseparable. John excelled at creating music powerful enough to make angels weep and being the funniest asshole in Texas while Hunter dabbled—poorly, I might add—in his humble writings. Because they were self-declared brothers from other mothers, John respected Hunter’s humble writings as much as I—I mean Hunter (stupid third person perspective)—respected John’s musical magic. John’s tunes could have changed the world, one day…
One fine day, after reading one of Hunter’s horrifically detailed short stories about a serial killer, John asked Hunter to write a story about him.
“Hell yeah, dude! What do you want to be?” Hunter asked, brimming with honor and biting back a very manly squee.
“A vampire,” John responded with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “But not one of those sparkly ones. A true bad ass!”
“Done!” Hunter crowed with a smile and an accompanying high five.
“No, dude. Promise. Promise you’ll write and finish a book about me. You are the most prolific writer of our generation!” John said. (Something like that. I might be paraphrasing a little, but you get the gist of it). “I would consider it an honor to live on for eternity with your words as my life’s blood.”
Hunter agreed, never to realize the weight of that promise until one Sunday morning when John’s mother called, crying incoherently.
John…had died.
Hunter was left in a cold world without his best friend and doppelgänger. Hunter still thinks about that moment to this day. How the morning light crept through the bedroom window while Hunter stared at the ceiling, noticing how the popcorn texture created cruel, jagged shadows. How everything started to blur as his chest was crushed beneath the weight of what he was hearing, each word stacking heavily upon the other until only fitful, ragged gasps of air could escape his throat. Only fiery tears existed, especially after the horrific realization that Hunter now had to make some of the hardest phone calls of his life to the circle of friends who orbited around John’s solar pull.
Their star was no more, leaving their universe a colder and darker place.
John not only left Hunter, but a friend named Valenta as well. There was also Nathanial and Depweg. The friends were each stricken numb with the loss of such a beloved flare of life. But…
When the three found out that Hunter was keeping his promise to write the greatest story ever told—starring their dear friend, John—they demanded to be a part of the adventure. Each of them immediately knew what type of supernatural character they wanted to play in this urban fantasy eulogy. It would be a funeral pyre of words, and their fictional personas would be John’s pallbearers.
So please, as you read the following pages, feel free to laugh. Laugh at the situations John is placed in and his dickish dialogue to those around him, because John is 100% in this story without alteration (albeit he is a vampire). Laugh and let his memory live on inside the theater of your mind. Like he does in ours.
Thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my beating heart, for giving my best friend the chance to live again. You are part of this magical ritual, and that would make him the happiest man in the…well, wherever the hell he is.
It begins with two best friends who grew up together, breaking rules and raising hell as they shaped each other’s personalities into the shameless assholes they are today. Well, at least for one of them, but I’ll get to that in a moment. These two boys—let’s call them Hunter and John—were all but inseparable. John excelled at creating music powerful enough to make angels weep and being the funniest asshole in Texas while Hunter dabbled—poorly, I might add—in his humble writings. Because they were self-declared brothers from other mothers, John respected Hunter’s humble writings as much as I—I mean Hunter (stupid third person perspective)—respected John’s musical magic. John’s tunes could have changed the world, one day…
One fine day, after reading one of Hunter’s horrifically detailed short stories about a serial killer, John asked Hunter to write a story about him.
“Hell yeah, dude! What do you want to be?” Hunter asked, brimming with honor and biting back a very manly squee.
“A vampire,” John responded with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “But not one of those sparkly ones. A true bad ass!”
“Done!” Hunter crowed with a smile and an accompanying high five.
“No, dude. Promise. Promise you’ll write and finish a book about me. You are the most prolific writer of our generation!” John said. (Something like that. I might be paraphrasing a little, but you get the gist of it). “I would consider it an honor to live on for eternity with your words as my life’s blood.”
Hunter agreed, never to realize the weight of that promise until one Sunday morning when John’s mother called, crying incoherently.
John…had died.
Hunter was left in a cold world without his best friend and doppelgänger. Hunter still thinks about that moment to this day. How the morning light crept through the bedroom window while Hunter stared at the ceiling, noticing how the popcorn texture created cruel, jagged shadows. How everything started to blur as his chest was crushed beneath the weight of what he was hearing, each word stacking heavily upon the other until only fitful, ragged gasps of air could escape his throat. Only fiery tears existed, especially after the horrific realization that Hunter now had to make some of the hardest phone calls of his life to the circle of friends who orbited around John’s solar pull.
Their star was no more, leaving their universe a colder and darker place.
John not only left Hunter, but a friend named Valenta as well. There was also Nathanial and Depweg. The friends were each stricken numb with the loss of such a beloved flare of life. But…
When the three found out that Hunter was keeping his promise to write the greatest story ever told—starring their dear friend, John—they demanded to be a part of the adventure. Each of them immediately knew what type of supernatural character they wanted to play in this urban fantasy eulogy. It would be a funeral pyre of words, and their fictional personas would be John’s pallbearers.
So please, as you read the following pages, feel free to laugh. Laugh at the situations John is placed in and his dickish dialogue to those around him, because John is 100% in this story without alteration (albeit he is a vampire). Laugh and let his memory live on inside the theater of your mind. Like he does in ours.
Thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my beating heart, for giving my best friend the chance to live again. You are part of this magical ritual, and that would make him the happiest man in the…well, wherever the hell he is.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
March 30, 2025
finally, a hero who isn’t perfect.
John is awesome. He’s a vampire, and aside from that, all he wants is to be a force for good. Which isn’t easy when you eat people and constantly make atrocious mistakes. I adore John and his friends. They face consequences for their actions and try their best to win against crazy odds. Plus, they are funny. Definitely going to read everything else Mr. Blain has written.
John is awesome. He’s a vampire, and aside from that, all he wants is to be a force for good. Which isn’t easy when you eat people and constantly make atrocious mistakes. I adore John and his friends. They face consequences for their actions and try their best to win against crazy odds. Plus, they are funny. Definitely going to read everything else Mr. Blain has written.
February 20, 2025
Different and truly gruesome And funnyvtoo!
This was Full of action, humor, and some gore too. Vampires, werewolves, warlocks, a priest, and a few angels.
I am not a fan of gore but most of this just.....fit. I could hardly put th books down, I even paid for kindle unlimited after my trial period so I could finish.
Hunter, you did John Proud with these stories!
This was Full of action, humor, and some gore too. Vampires, werewolves, warlocks, a priest, and a few angels.
I am not a fan of gore but most of this just.....fit. I could hardly put th books down, I even paid for kindle unlimited after my trial period so I could finish.
Hunter, you did John Proud with these stories!
January 29, 2025
Great read
I really enjoyed this book, I loved the idea of Deadpool fourth wall breaking mixed with horror. I'm already starting on the next omnibus!
I really enjoyed this book, I loved the idea of Deadpool fourth wall breaking mixed with horror. I'm already starting on the next omnibus!
July 30, 2025
The prequel, the 3.5
I just got this one for the prequel and the 3.5. MAN! THE 3.5!!Holy cow. Gory. Intense! Off to book 4!
I just got this one for the prequel and the 3.5. MAN! THE 3.5!!Holy cow. Gory. Intense! Off to book 4!
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews