unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic

by Marla Taviano

“Marla [is] welcoming us and helping us feel safe in our own wildernesses.” —Matthew Paul Turner, New York Times bestselling author of What Is God Like?
When you start to doubt your once-certain faith, it can feel overwhelming, discouraging, and honestly kind of terrifying. But the very good news is that you’re not alone.

In poems on the journey to becoming a heretic, Marla Taviano—author, single mom, and former very-good-Christian-girl who had all the answers—welcomes you into a space where you can let it all out, let it all go, and start heading in brave new directions. And she’ll be right there beside you on your journey.

In her past life, Taviano wrote books for Christians that today make her cringe, but with unbelieve she offers a simple poem on each page that will make you say, simply, “hell yeah.” Covering biblical literalism, fundamentalist hypocrisies, racism, LGBTQ+ rights, loving the poor, and so much more, Marla helps you fight for creating new boundaries with toxic beliefs and discovering who you were meant to be.

With appendices of amazing book lists, her written apology to Democrats and Jesus, and a bold affirmation of gay marriage, you’ll find unbelieve to be a book you return to again and again—whenever you need a friendly companion on the road to heresy and freedom.

Genres: Poetry, Spirituality, Memoir, Nonfiction, Faith

332 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 25, 2023

About the author

Marla Taviano is into books, love, justice, globes, anti-racism, blue, gray, rainbows, and poems. She reads and writes for a living, wears her heart on her t-shirts, and is on a mission/quest/journey to live wholefarted (not a typo). She’s the author of unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic and jaded: a poetic reckoning with white evangelical christian indoctrination. Marla lives in South Carolina with her four freaking awesome kids. Find out more at marlataviano.com.

Reviews

[Amanda B · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m in awe of this book. I grew up in church, the same church as the author, actually. And I remember wanting to “feel” saved - but I felt absolutely NOTHING. I did all the right things. Abstained from sex. Didn’t cuss. Read my Bible and listened to Christian music. I was in church 3x a week, singing the songs and going to youth activities and 5th quarter. And I still felt nothing even though I knew I was doing all the right things. Why wasn’t I good enough to feel Jesus moving in me like others so evidently did?

I was following all of the rules but still couldn’t tell you whether I was going to heaven or hell. I don’t think God wanted it to be so complicated to get into heaven. Marla included this quote from Rachel Held Evans: “Some Christians are more offended by the ideas of going to heaven than by the idea of everyone going to hell.” This really sat with me.

Marla, thank you for this collection of poetry. It made me laugh, cry, ponder, reflect and research. I will keep coming back time and time again. Thank you for helping me be brave as well.

[✨Arline✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Beautiful written. From the heart and the mind. It honestly felt like she and I were on the same path on a slightly different time table.

Also, many books to read now!

Just so good. So good.

[Corrie Haffly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I “met” Marla Taviano through Osheta Moore’s book launch team and started following her @whitegirllearning account because she’s cared about justice and upending racism and reads even more books than I do. Coming from a fundamentalist Christian background, Marla has been published multiple times over in the evangelical industrial complex, but Unbelieve: Poems on the Journey to Becoming a Christian Heretic is her first self-published book of prose-poetry that gives windows into her belief and worldview deconstruction (and maybe in some ways, destruction). Her poems offer space for others who are questioning their own beliefs and offers gentle (and sometimes hilariously snarky) challenge for those who have never questioned why they believe what they believe. Even if my own deconstruction and reconstruction is happening in a quieter fashion and eventually ends in a different conclusion than Marla’s someday, I value her words and process for helping me to reflect on my own journey and all its ups, downs, and forwards and backwards and sideways. I’m finding that I’m getting more comfortable with ambiguity and not-knowing as I get older, but paradoxically feeling more intensely focused on seeking Jesus and his heart for truth, justice, mercy, and love, and I’m thankful for Marla’s (perhaps unwitting) encouragement in that pursuit/receiving. Also, her sense of humor is right up my alley! And her appendices are resource-rich for those who are unlearning all of the isms. I truly hope she puts out another similar book in a decade or two because I know her journey of learning will keep taking her deeper!

[Marvin Foster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beyond Belief

Everyday I draw closer to the idea that we are called to love - that’s it. The Bible tells the stories of those that try and (mostly) fail.

We learned to create community around this and then learned how to wield power with that community. Western history is written on that wave of power with scriptures as the engine.

So maybe it’s time to unbelieve, time to dismantle - maybe it’s time to love - on earth as it is in heaven.

Moving can seem dangerous
In this stranger’s pilgrimage
Knowing that you can’t stand still
You cross the bridge

[Kristyna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This poetry collection was an absolute delight. It felt more like a novel in verse and I couldn't stop reading. It made me LOL and want to shout whatever the heretic version of "Amen!" is. I marked multiple favorites. Each poem can stand on their own but its better to read it chronologically. Highly recommend.

[Ruth Chowdhury · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book & words

Marla is a wonderful author who captures the thoughts of many who have been questioning where they may stand in their faith journey. She is raw, honest, and it was a very emotional read. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking some encouragement in their life as they deal with changes in their faith or spiritual life.

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Breathtakingly honest, evocative, articulate, funny and real. Never read a book quite like it…it’s a memoir shared through poetry-prose with one main strand of thought drawing from a plethora of life and literary sources. I was in tears more than once, aching from emotional poignancy and physical hilarity. A great journey…may Marla’s journey continue into increasingly fascinating territories.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Devoured tonight before bed. Authentic, truthy, raw, and some clap backs. Even the appendices are must reads.

[Liz Leiby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will reread the poems in this book for many years to come. It was like reading words from my own head and my own heart on the paper. I felt so seen.

[Beth Hutto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing.

[Cara Meredith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well Marla, YES. Bravo. The book we’ve all been waiting for!

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first found Marla through her @whitegirllearning account (a few years ago I think?) and have appreciated and learned from watching her evolving faith journey unfold through book reviews and recommendations. When I saw that she had published a book of poetry, I was excited to be able to get an even more personal glimpse into her journey.

In raw, honest, and insightful verses, she lets us in on some of the thoughts, feelings, experiences, and shifts in perspective that have accompanied her faith deconstruction. For anyone who is deconstructing, reconstructing, and decolonizing their faith, her honesty will be an understanding companion to you in this uncomfortable but liberating liminal space. She addresses hard questions in a bright-provoking way.

She also gathers up and brings along voices of beloved authors whose work has been deeply meaningful to me, such as Kaitlin Curtice, Rob Bell, Lisa Sharon Harper, Jemar Tisby, Sarah Bessey, Osheta Moore, James Baldwin, and of course, Rachel Held Evans.

This book is a friend to return to when it feels like no one understands your transformation (or as I like to refer to it, “when I got weird”). There’s before, and then there’s after, but Marla speaks to the messy, sacred space of in between.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a treasure this book is! It's bold, transparent, genuine, and unapologetic. And it's an absolutely fabulous read for someone who has experienced religious disillusionment and lived through it. Marla lays out her own painful lessons for readers, who get to choose whether or not to learn from them. She realizes that not every reader is in the same place as she was when she wrote the book. I appreciate the bit from her poem, "tension" that addresses this:

"depending on where you are on your journey
some poems are long behind you, some up ahead
some down a path you'll never take"

I also applaud Marla's bravery in using her formatting, which includes lack of capitalization and sometimes lack of punctuation to reflect the journey she took to birth this book. Just as her journey takes her path away from what is accepted and expected, her formatting reflects a step away from the norm.

Bravo, Marla! Keep writing! I'll be reading!

[Patricia Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Poetic Page-Turner of Questions That Need to be Asked

I let out a slight groan of disappointment when I realized I’d reached the last page of Unbelieve. Beyond Marla being a prolific writer— coming from a place of deep honesty, humor and transparency—these poems resonated as they met me where I am and where I have been. She asks the questions that too many have been taught should remain unspoken, inviting us along in her journey through an ever-evolving faith.

I’m grateful for her words and for the sense of solidarity that comes when you know that you’re not traversing the wilderness and re-examining your faith alone. And I’m glad Marla has shared her reality—the good, the bad and the ugly—with us as a reminder that though it may be clunky, messy and incredibly hard, there is a way forward and it’s absolutely worth it.

[Annette · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved this

It was like she had a lens in on my childhood and everything I’d been taught about God — and also had to unlearn and learn new frameworks. Again and again and again. Childhood faith is no place for adults. We have to come to new views, new eyes, and new realities about god that are often radically different from those childhood stories. We only can decide whether to choose to be adults and discover things for ourselves or stay stagnant in those infantile states. As someone who’s had to deconstruct and reconstruct multiple times in life, this book was a lot of head-nodding. Highly recommended!!

[Brianne Gayfer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oof. I obviously don't agree with every single sentiment nor do I share I every single experience. We are different people, so it wouldn't make sense if I did. But I resonated so much with this and it is a comfort to find others who are experiencing/have experienced what I am experiencing. This book made me realize I haven't been able to write about my own church trauma because I keep trying to make it into a logical story. But that isn't really how trauma works - my memories don't make a story, they make flashes of fragmented sentences. I don't know how to write poetry but I started anyways - 15 minutes ago - and I already have 2 and a half pages filled.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

You should be so lucky to stumble upon this book!

It’s hard to write this because I don’t think I can do justice to the gift Marla has given readers of this book. The poetic form does just what it should - gets you thinking, wondering, feeling but leaves lots of space for your own experience and perspective to fill in the blanks. What a brilliant way to share such a compelling story.

[Jenna Thornton · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING. I could not put this book down once I started reading it. The way Marla puts into words exactly how I am feeling? So good. I have such a strange relationship with christianity right now and this book perfectly encapsulates the good and the bad and at the same time tells her story that I want to keep reading about and yeah. Would recommend 100%!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sooo so good. Hit me in all the right ways. Thank you Marla!!

[Kell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absofuckinglutely brilliant. Great list of books in the appendices. Thank you random person on twitter who recommended this author. So cathartic.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was perfect for my poetry club this month. All four of us are going through our own deconstruction journey from being raised in evangelicalism. We are learning to sort through how we’ve been indoctrinated and what we really believe. Marla’s words were music to our ears: relevant, sassy, and prophetic. The poetry book was written like a memoir, with the poems in chronological order, showcasing her evolving beliefs and worldview.

I enjoyed the plethora of quotes from other deconstructing authors she inserted throughout the book, along with a list of recommended books at the end that inspired and challenged Marla on her spiritual transformation.

The heart of this book is love over orthodoxy, curiosity over dogma, and inclusion over hate. There are so many favorite poems, poems that made me think and furthered my own spiritual journey. Marla is vulnerable and authentic, opening her heart for all to see, to the dismay of her conservative upbringing and family. It took courage and love for her to write every page. Her truth speaking is combined with plentiful humor and sass. There are moments I wanted to laugh and cry and get angry and be inspired. So many emotions went into this poetry collection, and the emotions often mirrored my own.

This book made me feel less alone with my raw, confusing thoughts as I contemplate the way white-male-christianity in the U.S. is married to nationalism and the opposite of the love the religion claims to uphold and value. It was healing for me to process each poem, encouraging me to continue my deconstruction for the sake of love, goodness, and justice.

Unbelieve (my favorite poem)

if becoming a heretic
is what I have to do
to love people fully
and completely
it’s a sacrifice
I’m willing to make

[Deb]

I’m choosing not to rate this book because I know the author personally. And maybe that’s lame but it feels like you can’t rate a book dispassionately when you know the person on the other end of it. I will say that my faith deconstruction journey mirrors Marla’s in many ways as has my reading journey. It’s called a book of poems, but largely they are thoughts in poem form and quotes from other authors. For sure, if you are on a similar journey, Marla’s book will remind you that you are not alone on the path.

[Kaitlin Kline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marla gets me. I love her for it.

[Ty Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

YES YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES! Please read this book!!!!!!!

[Isaac van der Sluis · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book for people who are part of the (specifically American, fundamentalist, evangelical) Christian church and have found something about it that’s not right. Or for people who have been in that position before and gone through the process of dealing with it (hi, that’s me). It’s for deconstructing/deconstructed Christians.

Losing faith is a very isolating experience. The people in your life who still believe don’t understand, and they may also feel abandoned or betrayed, or convinced that you are now bound for hell. The people in your life who were never very religious also don’t fully grasp the impact of this change in belief; they don’t see what the big deal is. For me, it was a long process and I felt I didn’t really have any allies through it. No one that I was close to had gone through something similar, or at least didn’t talk about it if they had. I was on my own.

The experience is one filled with complex emotions and a general sense of insecurity and upheaval. An old identity is fading away and there’s no knowing what new identity you’re headed for.

Poetry is a good medium for conveying these emotions. This book made me feel less alone, and gave some more concrete expression to difficult feelings.

[Karna Bosman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marla Taviano is a kindred spirit. Reading through her poems in “Unbelieve” is like walking down the path that my transformation has taken over the last several years. She brings to light many of the authors that I have read and introduces me to some that are now on my TBR list. The name of the book may be off-putting to Christians, but it is not about giving up Jesus but it is about moving away from some of the man-made evangelical thought that no longer rings true. Don't let the title scare you. Marla believes in God. Marla believes in Jesus. She just might not believe everything we hear from the pulpit. A warning for those wanting to use this for a book club discussion, we used it in our poetry group. I had the updated version and everyone else had an older version. Our page numbers did not match and the book was not organized in the same manner. Make sure you use the same version it will help your discussion!

[Paul Heatley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Which God don't you believe in?

Marla Taviano's Unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic is a book I would highly recommend to anyone in any stage of certainty or doubt in their faith (or lack thereof). I found the 'poems' format very inviting, like a path made out of stepping stones which takes us through Marla's revelatory journey away from a hardline fire-and-brimstone faith. This book is more enjoyable than it has any right to be: in many ways it's a heart-wrenching, gut-punching read, but her wit and hard-won wisdom make it irresistible. I found that almost every page elicited either a snort of laughter, a sigh of sympathy, or even a shudder of horror! And at one point I discovered the beautiful necessity of the word 'disillusioned' - as Marla puts it, "my deconstructing journey began with love... and love continues to be my driving force."

[Tricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just finished Unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic by Marla Taviano. I love the style of this book. Marla puts all the complexities of her faith journey into poems, yet somehow creates a cohesive story. If you are someone who is in the midst of deconstruction, or if you are someone who is disillusioned by the ways the evangelical church has married itself to white nationalism, or if you are someone who finds your beliefs changing about who God is and what the Bible is actually trying to teach us, you will absolutely find poems here that speak to your heart. If you believe that the number one thing that Jesus commands us to do is love others then you will relate to much of what Marla has written here.

[Toni Kolb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book of heretical poems has been so nourishing to my soul.
Hearing Marla wonder, sigh, hope, admit and share about her journey of deconstruction is like listening to my own heart. It’s validating to realize there’s others who have traveled this same path. It’s relieving to see this fellow traveler still has hope and humor after all the heartbreaking points.
I’ve felt understood. Heard. Seen.

I end up taking photos of all my favorites as I read this book…. And I finally had to stop because I was just taking photos of every other poem!

The poems are simple, a timeline of discovery, down-to-earth musings. There’s some one liners that leave your heart aching. And others that made me smile.

I feel like Marla is such a friend after reading this book. 💜

[Dilliemillie · Rating 4 out of 5]

My current perspective aligns much more closely with jaded than with unbelieve, but I still found plenty to appreciate in these pages.

Can we talk for a moment about how great the layout design is for these books? The text is pleasingly clear and easy to read, with lots of white space to highlight and underline and scribble thoughts. It's like having a book of poetry that is also a workbook/journal, and I love it.

3.5 stars