“What Did I Do Wrong?” : An Accessible Guide to Preventing Traumatic Misunderstandings Between You and Your Autistic Loved One

by Jaime Heidel

"What Did I Do Wrong?" helps you decode commonly misunderstood autistic traits at a glance, so you and the autistic person in your life can start communicating more effectively with each other right away!

This book will help open your eyes to the way autistic people see, feel, and experience the world and clear up the confusion you have about your daily interactions with them.

Whether you're a non-autistic parent, partner, teacher, sibling, friend, etc., or whether you're an autistic person yourself
who needs the allistic people in your life to better understand you, this book is for you.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Self Help

80 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 24, 2023

Reviews

[Lili · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great, but slightly imperfect

There are many people in my past who I wish I could have shared this book with, but most of them never knew I was autistic (because I didn't know myself until I was 46) and are long gone from my life due to chronic misunderstandings.

This is an important book. It's very short and I have to say that it's very centred on the author's experience of being autistic, which is not the universal experience of being autistic, but it's a very useful starting point if you have an autistic friend and are struggling to comprehend why they react and behave as they do.

This book is one of the rare few that would benefit from expansion. The last couple of chapters, especially. It was a little frustrating to read through all these possible misunderstandings without more detail on how to actually have a good relationship with an autistic person without being hurt or hurting them. That's worth more than a couple of short chapters.

I hope to see more from this author, and I'll be recommending this book in future. I just can't give it five stars because I was hoping for more depth.

[Shea · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an autistic person, I found this book to be exceptionally helpful. Not only did it help me discover some of my autistic traits (that I thought were just personality quirks or social rules I didn't understand), but provided me with examples to give to neurotypical folks in order for them to better understand my way of thinking. If I could afford it, I'd buy hundreds to hand out to every person I have a miscommunication with (and to send to all of the family members, teachers, doctors, classmates, coworkers, customers, managers, etc that I have struggled to communicate with in the past), I would! The ebook is particularly helpful as I can send quick screenshots to folks I had a miscommunication with for them to better understand my view of things. I'm very thankful for this resource, and will return to it frequently.

[Debra M Adrian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Game Changer

This book provided, in a clear and non-thrratening way, common interactions with my daughter that I misinterpreted.

It was clear and helpful to moving forward to impact my communication and relationship with her

[Kayla · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

While a lot of the content was relatable, it wasn't exactly what I was looking for and wasn't much different from any of the content on this author's social media.

Tangentially related, but not about the book itself: Slightly concerning how impeccably well-pruned this author's online presence is as there was not a single critical review that I could find, and not a single note of credibility or credentials could be found anywhere other than the fact that this person is a social media personality who happens to be late diagnosed autistic.

It's great if you're a fan of this creator, and there are some relatable anecdotes throughout, but not exactly what I was looking for personally.

[Stephanie Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

A rather thin book with large print, which is not what I expected. however, I believe it's a useful guide for those who live with someone on the spectrum. it's a nice, quick and easy way to look up specific autistic traits that you may have encountered, and better understand what's going on behind the scenes in the mind of the autistic person. highly recommended to everyone no matter your neurodiversity, but particularly useful for family and friends of Autistics.

[Britt-Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the format of this book which makes it super reader friendly. Unfortunately, many of the traits don't seem to apply to my situation, so it is less helpful than it might be. Still, I think the critical point emphasized in "The Takeaway" that the best thing you can do for your autistic loved one is to believe them. Just that would go a long way.

[Taylor McCarthy · Rating 4 out of 5]

My coworker let me borrow this book, and I found it very insightful. While I know it will not be 100% accurate for all individuals with autism, I feel like it gave me enough to know where to start with conversations or miscommunications. I loved how short and concise this book was as well.

[Mandy Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good simple read, informative.

Appreciated the honesty in this book and the practical advice provided for helping to bridge the gap. So much unknowingly goes unsaid and simply assumed by NTs about NDs.

[Stuart Macmartin · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a little disconcerting but also reassuring to occasionally see myself represented exactly in this book. Whether I am on the spectrum or not, this is an excellent guide for improving communication with me, and me with others, or between primarily logical thinkers and primarily emotionally intuitive thinkers. It also lets me better understand the world of those I’ve met who exhibit more traits of autism, and the world of those who exhibit none of these traits. That said, the solutions to communication issues may be appropriate for the main target audience, but feel a little black and white for me personally.

A short book, but that just means I can read it several times as needed.