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Hysterical: Exploding the Myth of Gendered Emotions
Emotions can be difficult things to define, yet we all recognise them when we feel them or see them in others. How we interpret those emotions and act on them has been heavily gendered, as far back as Ancient Greek and Roman times and--despite the improvements in societal equality--continues to be today.
We've all heard the sayings that girls should be 'sugar and spice and all things nice', while 'boys don't cry'. In Hysterical, Pragya Agarwal dives deep into the history and science that has determined the gendering of emotions to ask whether there is any truth in the notion of innate differences between the male and female experience of emotions. She examines the impact this has on men and women--especially the role it has played in the subjugation of women throughout history--and how a future where emotions are ungendered might look.
We've all heard the sayings that girls should be 'sugar and spice and all things nice', while 'boys don't cry'. In Hysterical, Pragya Agarwal dives deep into the history and science that has determined the gendering of emotions to ask whether there is any truth in the notion of innate differences between the male and female experience of emotions. She examines the impact this has on men and women--especially the role it has played in the subjugation of women throughout history--and how a future where emotions are ungendered might look.
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Published September 7, 2023
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About the author
Pragya Agarwal
13 books67 followersDr Pragya Agarwal is an activist, behavioural and data scientist, speaker and a consultant. As a Senior Academic in US and UK universities, she has held the prestigious Leverhulme Fellowship, following a PhD from the University of Nottingham. Her publications are on reading lists of leading academic courses across the world.
Pragya is the author of SWAY: Unravelling Unconscious Bias published with Bloomsbury Publishing, and ‘Wish we knew what to say: Talking with children about race’, a manual for parents, carers and educators of all backgrounds and ethnicities to talk to children about race and racism, published with Dialogue Books (Little, Brown/Hachette).
Pragya has worked as a consultant and speaker with organisations around the world, including universities, corporate and non-profits, and schools, delivering talks and workshops on unconscious bias, racism, social inclusion, power and privilege.
A passionate campaigner for women’s rights, and two-time TEDx speaker herself, Pragya organised the first ever TEDxWoman event in the north of the UK. She regularly appears on panels and has given keynotes around the world. Pragya has appeared on BBC Woman’s Hour, BBC Breakfast, Sky News, Australian Broadcasting Service, and Canadian Radio. She is the founder of a social enterprise The Art Tiffin. and a research think-tank The 50 Percent Project investigating women’s status and rights around the world. Pragya is the winner of the Diverse Wisdom Writing award from Hay House Publishing in 2018, and was named as one of the 100 influential women in social enterprise in the UK, and one of 50 people creating change in the UK-India corridor.
As a freelance journalist, Pragya writes - ethical, literary, scientific- articles widely. Her writing on bias and prejudice, motherhood, gender and racial inequality and mental health has appeared in The Guardian, New Scientist, Scientific American, Independent, BMJ, Times Higher Education, Huffington Post, Prospect, Forbes, and many more.
Pragya has a mini podcast series ‘Outside the boxes’ examining how the labels and stereotypes affect us as a society, the science behind it, and what we can do about it. And, in 2020, she launched another mini-series ‘Wish We Knew What To Say’ to accompany her book of the same name. In six episodes, she speaks with parents of different ethnic backgrounds about their experiences and raising children with secure identities.
Pragya moved to the UK from India almost twenty years ago to study for a Masters at the University of York on a British Council Fellowship, and now lives in the north- west with her family.
Pragya is the author of SWAY: Unravelling Unconscious Bias published with Bloomsbury Publishing, and ‘Wish we knew what to say: Talking with children about race’, a manual for parents, carers and educators of all backgrounds and ethnicities to talk to children about race and racism, published with Dialogue Books (Little, Brown/Hachette).
Pragya has worked as a consultant and speaker with organisations around the world, including universities, corporate and non-profits, and schools, delivering talks and workshops on unconscious bias, racism, social inclusion, power and privilege.
A passionate campaigner for women’s rights, and two-time TEDx speaker herself, Pragya organised the first ever TEDxWoman event in the north of the UK. She regularly appears on panels and has given keynotes around the world. Pragya has appeared on BBC Woman’s Hour, BBC Breakfast, Sky News, Australian Broadcasting Service, and Canadian Radio. She is the founder of a social enterprise The Art Tiffin. and a research think-tank The 50 Percent Project investigating women’s status and rights around the world. Pragya is the winner of the Diverse Wisdom Writing award from Hay House Publishing in 2018, and was named as one of the 100 influential women in social enterprise in the UK, and one of 50 people creating change in the UK-India corridor.
As a freelance journalist, Pragya writes - ethical, literary, scientific- articles widely. Her writing on bias and prejudice, motherhood, gender and racial inequality and mental health has appeared in The Guardian, New Scientist, Scientific American, Independent, BMJ, Times Higher Education, Huffington Post, Prospect, Forbes, and many more.
Pragya has a mini podcast series ‘Outside the boxes’ examining how the labels and stereotypes affect us as a society, the science behind it, and what we can do about it. And, in 2020, she launched another mini-series ‘Wish We Knew What To Say’ to accompany her book of the same name. In six episodes, she speaks with parents of different ethnic backgrounds about their experiences and raising children with secure identities.
Pragya moved to the UK from India almost twenty years ago to study for a Masters at the University of York on a British Council Fellowship, and now lives in the north- west with her family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
October 3, 2022
As a feminist and pop psych avid reader, I'm struggling to fathom how this was published. The weird mix of opinion and poor, half-assed interpretation of scientific data, categorisation of ASD as a "lack of empathy" (as well as discussing Hans Asperger's research as a credible source despite heavy links to the nazi regime in Austria and his categorisation of which autistic people were suitable for work vs. medical experimentation), use of the STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT as legitimacy for an argument in the year of 2022... It's just a mess. Probably the worst book I've read so far this year. This book was never sure what it was trying to say, and I've come away having learned nothing but with serious questions about the authors research capabilities.
November 27, 2022
Rating: ⭐️⭐️
💬 "Emotions are not disconnected from reason. The duality of emotionality and rationality does not make sense, nor does the association of reason with men, and emotion with women.”
💭 I really hate giving such low ratings but I wanted to share my thoughts anyway - this review is going to be short and to the point.
On the surface, Hysterical should’ve been right up my street; a feminist analysis of how emotions came to be, and remain, gendered - perfect. However, my initial excitement quickly faded when I began to read… Complicated science and heavy data analysis really aren’t my thing but I can usually wrap my head around them to a certain extent, especially when about a subject I’m interested in. So I bet you’re thinking, the data was too complex, the science too theoretical… no - the opposite problem. Prior studies were explained in such short, two or three sentence blocks that the chapters became super repetitive and impossible to draw any overarching conclusions from. If felt like there was a lot of repeating other people’s findings and not a lot of giving the reader anything new. The whole book honestly felt like a glorified literature review…
There was some insight provided into the main topic of gendered emotions and I did learn a few little tiny bits, but the way it was written made it really hard to grasp what the author’s argument or takeaway points were. I feel like I’ve come away with a lot of questions about how emotions became gendered and how we see the expression of this in our daily lives, but not one’s that the book is anywhere close to answering. Sadly, this book really wasn’t for me.
💬 "Emotions are not disconnected from reason. The duality of emotionality and rationality does not make sense, nor does the association of reason with men, and emotion with women.”
💭 I really hate giving such low ratings but I wanted to share my thoughts anyway - this review is going to be short and to the point.
On the surface, Hysterical should’ve been right up my street; a feminist analysis of how emotions came to be, and remain, gendered - perfect. However, my initial excitement quickly faded when I began to read… Complicated science and heavy data analysis really aren’t my thing but I can usually wrap my head around them to a certain extent, especially when about a subject I’m interested in. So I bet you’re thinking, the data was too complex, the science too theoretical… no - the opposite problem. Prior studies were explained in such short, two or three sentence blocks that the chapters became super repetitive and impossible to draw any overarching conclusions from. If felt like there was a lot of repeating other people’s findings and not a lot of giving the reader anything new. The whole book honestly felt like a glorified literature review…
There was some insight provided into the main topic of gendered emotions and I did learn a few little tiny bits, but the way it was written made it really hard to grasp what the author’s argument or takeaway points were. I feel like I’ve come away with a lot of questions about how emotions became gendered and how we see the expression of this in our daily lives, but not one’s that the book is anywhere close to answering. Sadly, this book really wasn’t for me.
April 5, 2025
I’ve learned a lot. I love it when books about feminism teach me new things. Women’s emotions are judged on a daily basis and reading about the why made my blood boil! If this book taught me something is that I am allowed to be angry at society and it is necessary for all of us to be.
March 27, 2023
Feel a need to re-read physically
February 23, 2025
Insightful and truthful. Using this for ny thesis :)
October 25, 2022
Couldn't finish it, found it lethargic, messy and basically a bit boring.
March 28, 2024
Nice book, although I feel something is missing. Or maybe in some moments it is a bit too repetitive/a bit messy. I find it sad that we judge emotions and know about them, according to author, basing it mainly on the research from US and UK which stands for only 17% of the world population. So much space to overlook a really big emotional pallette. The theory that maybe gender should be a spectrum and therefore it'd be easier to escape from binary assigning emotions, is interesting. Like, why to define oneself as 100% woman therefore hysterical? One can be woman, but emotionally on spectrum further away from 'typical feminine trait', and without judgment related to it. Same goes for men. Emotional utopia, I know.
July 30, 2023
I feel bad rating it a 2/5, as it likely involved a lot of research. However, I was really excited to buy this book and felt disappointed in it. I agree with the points she makes about gendered emotions, but it felt like it never picked up into something more than views and knowledge I already had around it. To me the best chapter was the last one - because it was about robots, and it meant I'd finished the book...
September 11, 2023
If I was researching for a thesis this would be a must-read but I couldn't sustain the effort required. However, I did scan acopy of the Epilogue: Emotional Utopia chapter for future reference.
September 5, 2024
Absolutely stunning, grounding, myth busting, and informative. A reference.
July 17, 2024
Like many other people here, I did not enjoy this book. The writing is not particularly engaging, as for the mpst part, Agarwal merely lists studies, and some of her sources are - at the very least - questionable. Both of these points have been elaborated better by other people here, and if you are interested in what I am talking about, I suggest you check out those.
There are two further quarrels I had with this book that I feel are worth talking about here. The first it that the picture of emotions Agarwal ends up constructing seems to be a bit inconsistent. In the beginning chapters, she argues against the idea that there are basic, stable aemotions, and that instead, emotons are constructed based on schemas, past experiences, etc. - fair enough. But for the remainder of the book, she largely discusses emotions such as anger or sadness as if they were universal and this easily comparible. I'm sure there is a way to reconcile these positions, but she never goes into it; hence, I was left wondering what the book was actually about.
Where the internal inconsistency becomes even more striking is when she discusses emotional differences between men and women. Here, she sometimes argues that emotions are learned, and thus that women acquire different emotions from men due to their environment. On the other hand, she often cites and endorses studies that aim to show that there is no difference in emotions between men and women, and that it all comes down to whether individuals show their emotions rather than surpressing them. And, to be blunt, which of the two is it? You cannot both maintain that there are *no* emotional differences between the genders, and that there *are* differences, but that those are due to upbringing rather than by nature.
Finally - and to be honest, this is a sore spot for me - Agarwal's treatment of the bias of research towards Western individuals leaves A LOT to be desired. She frequently points out that it is difficult to get data that was not collected in Western cultures, and how that makes research results questionable. Which is a very valid criticism, but it never leads her to question or relativize her own conclusions she bases on such studies. She only ever criticises research she disagrees with for being biased. That is, honestly, really shitty.
Moreover, Agarwal does not seem all that keen to make up for the bias towards Western culture. In the chapters that provide a historical overview of how people thought about emotions, she pretty much exclusively discusses Western thought. This is bad enough in and of itself, but for the topic of emotions, it seems really lazy. There is an ample and easily accessible traditon of philosophizing emotions within Daoist, Confucian, or Indian philosophy, all of which is not even considered. Combining these two points makes for a very bad aftertaste.
There are two further quarrels I had with this book that I feel are worth talking about here. The first it that the picture of emotions Agarwal ends up constructing seems to be a bit inconsistent. In the beginning chapters, she argues against the idea that there are basic, stable aemotions, and that instead, emotons are constructed based on schemas, past experiences, etc. - fair enough. But for the remainder of the book, she largely discusses emotions such as anger or sadness as if they were universal and this easily comparible. I'm sure there is a way to reconcile these positions, but she never goes into it; hence, I was left wondering what the book was actually about.
Where the internal inconsistency becomes even more striking is when she discusses emotional differences between men and women. Here, she sometimes argues that emotions are learned, and thus that women acquire different emotions from men due to their environment. On the other hand, she often cites and endorses studies that aim to show that there is no difference in emotions between men and women, and that it all comes down to whether individuals show their emotions rather than surpressing them. And, to be blunt, which of the two is it? You cannot both maintain that there are *no* emotional differences between the genders, and that there *are* differences, but that those are due to upbringing rather than by nature.
Finally - and to be honest, this is a sore spot for me - Agarwal's treatment of the bias of research towards Western individuals leaves A LOT to be desired. She frequently points out that it is difficult to get data that was not collected in Western cultures, and how that makes research results questionable. Which is a very valid criticism, but it never leads her to question or relativize her own conclusions she bases on such studies. She only ever criticises research she disagrees with for being biased. That is, honestly, really shitty.
Moreover, Agarwal does not seem all that keen to make up for the bias towards Western culture. In the chapters that provide a historical overview of how people thought about emotions, she pretty much exclusively discusses Western thought. This is bad enough in and of itself, but for the topic of emotions, it seems really lazy. There is an ample and easily accessible traditon of philosophizing emotions within Daoist, Confucian, or Indian philosophy, all of which is not even considered. Combining these two points makes for a very bad aftertaste.
May 15, 2025
I was drawn to this book because it held the promise of many of the things that I like in non-fiction book: gender, emotions, deconstruction, intersectionality. For the most part, the book delivered on the promise. I learned many interesting anecdotes and was introduced to experiments that have explained a lot of what I already knew in my heart and mind to be true.
Unfortunately, on some aspects this book fell short for me. I was expecting to be mind-blown, and I wasn't: what I found was mostly repetitions and confirmations of many things I already knew - be it because I believe myself to be well-read in matters of feminism and gender issues, or because, as a woman myself, I experience many of the realities described in the book everyday. I thought I would receive something more from this book, but I quite frankly mostly didn't.
What put me off this book the most, however, was the constant, unnerving repetitiveness. It felt like every single concept was eviscerated and reformulated in every possible way, without adding anything new to the concept itself. I bet if another round of edits had been done to cut all of the redundancies, the book would be half its size. It was redundant to the point that, even when I did stumble across interesting and new points, I would almost forget about them because my mind was so used to not retaining any new information.
It is such a shame because I feel like many considerations had a lot of potential, while others were just so obvious. Perhaps I was not the right target for this book, which maybe could have been better suited to someone who had never really given a second thought to how our perception of emotions might be gendered. I will say I find it hard to distinguish books for "beginners" and "veterans" in these kinds of themes, so it's always just a trial and error situation, and it's all part of the game.
Unfortunately, on some aspects this book fell short for me. I was expecting to be mind-blown, and I wasn't: what I found was mostly repetitions and confirmations of many things I already knew - be it because I believe myself to be well-read in matters of feminism and gender issues, or because, as a woman myself, I experience many of the realities described in the book everyday. I thought I would receive something more from this book, but I quite frankly mostly didn't.
What put me off this book the most, however, was the constant, unnerving repetitiveness. It felt like every single concept was eviscerated and reformulated in every possible way, without adding anything new to the concept itself. I bet if another round of edits had been done to cut all of the redundancies, the book would be half its size. It was redundant to the point that, even when I did stumble across interesting and new points, I would almost forget about them because my mind was so used to not retaining any new information.
It is such a shame because I feel like many considerations had a lot of potential, while others were just so obvious. Perhaps I was not the right target for this book, which maybe could have been better suited to someone who had never really given a second thought to how our perception of emotions might be gendered. I will say I find it hard to distinguish books for "beginners" and "veterans" in these kinds of themes, so it's always just a trial and error situation, and it's all part of the game.
May 30, 2025
I think the title of this book should more accurately be „misconceptions surrounding the assumed inherent innateness of gendered emotions“ although that would not roll off the tongue as well. I gave it four stars all the same though because it’s comprehensive and easy to follow. I think as long as I read this book as a response to a world where presently the innateness of gender roles is often assumed then I don’t mind the lack of nuance as much. This book covers atypical emotional expressions as they pertain to traditional gender roles. This is addressed across biological, sociological, cultural, philosophical, political and historical aspects of the conversation. It seeks to stress the importance of social learning as it pertains to all emotional expression overall and feminist thought more broadly. I think in some ways the book tries to cover too much information which was why I didn’t like it as much and felt some of the analysis itself was cursory. The arch of hysteria by louise bourgeois was wonderful though! The sculpture gave my heart a warm feeling to look at which made me add a star when I would have originally rated this book 3 stars :)
also side note sex bots should definitely be banned Idk why tf she went on about how awful they are only to disagree they should be banned? Boo tomato tomato tomato *fog horn noises*
also side note sex bots should definitely be banned Idk why tf she went on about how awful they are only to disagree they should be banned? Boo tomato tomato tomato *fog horn noises*
May 26, 2023
Agarwal tackles enormous breadth here, looking at how female emotionality is suppressed, denied, pathologised and criminalised. From examining Greek plays, to modern experiments in stereotype threat, witchcraft trials to bias in mental health diagnosis, she takes us on a journey around the gendering of emotions and bias. This breadth comes occasionally at the expense of depth, but the result in a holistic view of the imposible double binds and constraints women face in emotion. It is well referenced, and even in the brief sections Agarwal is careful to present how accepted or challenged particular views are. It is also, like her previous work, readable without being cutesy.
March 23, 2025
Only midway through this book, I randomly decided to read some of other people's reviews for it -- and they were ALL so incredibly and universally negative, talking about how this book wasn't based in research and was a bunch of opinions strung together and wasn't cohesive, didn't read well, didn't make sense. And I'm so pleased to tell you they were all LYING. This is a great book! Totally thought provoking, well researched, very easy to read, nuanced and modern and very up to date on tons of issues that matter right now, and just overall left me with tons of food for thought. Highly recommend!!! I don't know what everybody else is on about -- this is WORTH THE READ.
January 31, 2023
I snatched this up when it came into the library because the subject is right up my street, but found it a messy and incoherent trudge.
I work in science, and I'm not phased by data or densely cited review articles. However, too much of the book is a constant deluge of studies boiled down to a few sentences covering the barest bones of method and result. Too often I couldn't see how the study as described supported the conclusions the author came to, or couldn't see how it fit into the argument being made. Because there's so little context or depth to the data, it feels cherry-picked and the conclusions seem sweeping. This book is a missed opportunity, saying something that needs to be said, but just not clearly enough.
I work in science, and I'm not phased by data or densely cited review articles. However, too much of the book is a constant deluge of studies boiled down to a few sentences covering the barest bones of method and result. Too often I couldn't see how the study as described supported the conclusions the author came to, or couldn't see how it fit into the argument being made. Because there's so little context or depth to the data, it feels cherry-picked and the conclusions seem sweeping. This book is a missed opportunity, saying something that needs to be said, but just not clearly enough.
April 12, 2024
Really interesting, nuanced look into gendered emotions and their consequences without making any hyperbolic leaps. Covers a big range of topics from robots to political candidates. Agarwal summarises studies and thought in that area without pushing any specific agenda herself , I like this but if you are looking for a book that pushes new idea within feminism this isn't it.
Really enjoyed, would recommend everyone read this!
Really enjoyed, would recommend everyone read this!
April 3, 2024
I rounded down because I’m trying to be stingy with my 5s. Probably two thirds of this book was 5 star worthy, but there were unfortunately whole chapters that I didn’t find that interesting (looking @ you technology). Still a really good read, and even better if you aren’t as stuck in your boring ways as I am!
November 14, 2024
It was a very interesting book, and I can say I learned some good arguments, though I gave away one star since I did not vibe with the structure of chapters. I did not find it very well organized, and research described would often seem out of the context of chapter's title.
December 15, 2022
I really liked some of the exploration of this book. There was nothing especially unheard of about the data and perspectives provided, but I definitely found it interesting.
January 9, 2023
Some interesting content but in need of a better editor.
February 2, 2023
DNF. What a mess.
February 11, 2024
Hard to read at times, but utterly fascinating and gives you a lot to think about.
May 25, 2024
struggled to get through this 😕 i picked this up in the library as it sounded super interesting and right up my street, however it was quite boring and repetitive.
July 4, 2024
unfortunately did not finish but was a really interesting read :)
March 25, 2025
A study of emotions, looking at the brain and how gendered attitudes affect perceptions of expression.
September 17, 2024
If you’re a nerdy and analytical feminist, you’ll live laugh love this book! I love how it doesn’t ignore intersectionality like many feminist books do. It gave eye-opening, engaging and more importantly inventive. There were so many questions that were left unanswered but in a good way, there is so much research that needs to be done, and so much research we don’t get yo see due to the nature of the publishing methods of academia!
I really loved this one, and the cover was giving brat summer lol
I really loved this one, and the cover was giving brat summer lol
September 25, 2024
Some interesting passages, but too repetitive.
May 22, 2023
Another for my books-that-make-me-angry list.
It's NOT the book.
It's NOT the author.
It is the subject matter.
Just, why?!
The author explains the process from where to here - but it doesn't make it any less infuriating.
It's NOT the book.
It's NOT the author.
It is the subject matter.
Just, why?!
The author explains the process from where to here - but it doesn't make it any less infuriating.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews