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F this Test: Even More of the Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers

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From the same hilarious wellspring of failure as the bestselling F in Exams and F for Effort comes this all-new collection of inventively wrong—yet totally real—test responses by students who don't know the answer, but come up with something better instead. Featuring crucial academic subjects including English ( Name a key theme in Madame Bovary; Cows), Geography ( Where can you find the Andes?; Google Earth), Science ( Describe the properties of a meteor; An animal that only eats meat) and more, F this Test rounds out the curriculum with an extra-credit section for those tricky elective courses, and demonstrates that it's more fun to laugh when faced with an absolute fail.

220 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 18, 2014

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491 people want to read

About the author

Richard Benson

154 books35 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 98 reviews
Profile Image for karen.
4,012 reviews172k followers
May 29, 2020
this is the third book i have read in this series, and it is very much like the first two, believe it or not! and like the previous two, and indeed, like most humor collections, the level of comedic payoff depends upon the contributor's actual cleverness v. perceived cleverness, and the ratio of playfulness to smug self-satisfaction. the examples oscillate between being entertaining and being annoying, and the ones i personally respond to the most are not the easy evasions like this one:

What are the key differences between aerobic and anaerobic respiration?

"an"


because, yawn. that kind of reflexive juvenile humor is why no one wants to be a substitute teacher.

no, for me the best ones are the ones that combine cleverness with confidence - the ones where the correct answer is easy, but the choice is made to flash a little fin, to say "yeah, i could give the boring answer, but how 'bout this?"

Why should an author keep their audience in mind?

Because if they kept them in real life that would be kidnapping


or

If tickets to a football game cost $12.50 each, how much would it cost Johnny and his three brothers to go?

$12.50 each


or the ones that show the respondent is being a little playful, maybe someone who is bored with the curriculum and might need to be a little more challenged in their education

Describe an Ionic column

A column that's deliberately contrary to its expected meaning


or is already a fully-formed, world-weary adult who knows what's what:

Some people agree with the building of coastal defenses while others disagree with it. Why is this?

Some people will disagree with anything.


or might actually be a genius:

What is a step-up transformer?

It's the sequel to Step Up and Transformers where the humans teach the robots to dance


seriously, someone get that kid a film deal, please.

i love people who give correct, if unexpected, answers:

Why can flooding be beneficial?

If you're on fire


and

List two ways Pride and Prejudice can be read.

1) Sitting down, book on lap
2) Lying down


and

On average, how many words a minute do we usually speak?

It varies, depending on how annoying you are.


and

Where can you find the Andes?

Google Earth


and i also love the profoundly lazy responses

What did an Ancient Egyptian embalmer do?

Embalmed Ancient Egyptians


here are some others that i applaud, for various reasons:


-What is the unit "Calorie" used to measure?

How much somebody will complain about their weight


-What is the advantage of nuclear fuels?

Accidents cause superpowers


-Before taking blood, a nurse dabs some alcohol onto the patient's arm. This makes the patient's skin feel cold.Explain what happens to make the patient's skin feel cold.

A nurse dabs some alcohol onto the patient's arm


-What effect do the comic characters on Shakespeare's non-comic plays have?

They ruin the mood


-What is a monologue?

When one person won't shut up

and here's a couple of visual gags:


 photo DSC05528_zps20e794fb.jpg

and this one, which is probably my favorite in the whole book:

 photo DSC05530_zpsf0c4146e.jpg

oh, kids do say the darndest things.

here's a link the other one i reviewed, where you can find more things i think are funny. because you know you care what i think is funny. i don't know why you do, you just do. weirdo.

come to my blog!
Profile Image for Scott.
2,245 reviews271 followers
August 18, 2022
2.5 stars

Q: 'What does the term 'latitude' refer to?'

A: 'It's French, for attitude.'


Whereas I laughed out loud a number of times when devouring Benson's F for Effort two weeks ago, the subsequent edition F this Test produced only the occasional mere chuckle for me. The students' responses included this time seemed to be straining a little bit too hard to be funny, compared to the innocently incorrect and/or naturally witty (but still wrong, yet sorta right) answers offered up in said earlier book. However, I would like to mention my favorite moments (under the 'English' chapter for language and grammar), which coincidentally happen to be on consecutive pages -- Q: 'Using the works you have studied, give an example of a heroic couplet.' / A: 'Batman & Robin', or the more deadly humorous Q: 'What sort of terms are 'you have to,' 'you must,' and 'you ought to'?' / A: 'The sort that my mom uses way too often.' If nothing else, the book can be read in twenty minutes - so there's that.
Profile Image for Jessaka.
1,007 reviews227 followers
February 14, 2018
How do you do a review on a very small book? Follow me.

I liked Richard’s first book. At least I had taken the classes, and while I used to know the information, I had forgotten. But I knew a wrong answer when I saw one. This book is not so easy.

It is about answers that students give on tests when they don’t know the answer. Such as “How does Dickens create sympathy for Pip in Great Expectations?” Answer by a student: “He gives him a girl’s name.” No so interesting; not so cute. Let’s move on.

“Name three tenses.” “Stressed, worried, and concerned.” Do kids really make these things up? How about this one, “Give an example of a sentence containing a suffix.” “Suffix it to say, I won’t be going back there again.” No, but I suffix to say that you will be back in the same English class again.

Or how about this one: “What was the Poor Law Act of 1388? “It made it illegal to be poor.” Yes, and it has been illegal ever since.

“A train that normally travels at an average of 60 mph leaves 30 minutes late. If it increases its average speed to 65 mph will it be on time?” Answer: “No!! Trains are never on times.”

Oh, how I hated geometry. I took algebra in high school and always got As on those fun puzzles, until it came to geometry. They should not put them in the same class. I ended up with a B. In college, I took algebra again, got a tutor this time, one who taught me how to read these formulas that are hidden in these sentences. I ended up with a B+. The professor said, “If you only worked a little harder.” I replied, “It hurts my brain.” I never needed any of this in my life anyway. Algebra was a fun puzzle. I never knew what any of it meant, but I knew how to do it.

And here is an answer that I can agree with. “How can television provide a public service?” Answer: “Showing fewer reality shows.” I can think of a few realty shows that I would like to get rid of, and they are on every night. My idea is to shave the man's head in the middle of the night when he is sleeping. Worked on Samson.

Note: My husband just informed me that the math problem presented here is still algebra, not geometry. So I am going to ask him to put it in algebraic terms for me.

Later. He looked at the problem and said that this problem can't be solved. it is not a real math question unless you know how far the train has to go. You need to know the distance or the normal time that it would take.

He wrote: XYZ. X equals miles per hour. Y equals time traveled, Z equals distance traveled.

The formula would be X times Y=Z (XxY=Z) But all that is given is X and that is it. We only have Y plus 30 minutes. There is no Y given.

So now I understand how algebra is used to solve problems, but this one can't be solved, as my husband stated.

So, does this book contain real test questions or did the author make them up, or did he forget to add more to this problem in order for it to be solved?
Profile Image for Elevetha .
1,931 reviews196 followers
January 2, 2016
This doesn't take long to read, but it's great fun. The "Science" section is definitely my favorite of the chapters. And at least 80% of the time, the students were not wrong. Perhaps not the desired answer, but undeniably correct.

I personally do believe that "Don't reanimate corpses" is exactly what we should garner from Frankenstein.
Profile Image for James.
Author 15 books99 followers
December 2, 2015
I binge-read this along with "F This Test" and "F For Effort" by the same author - the things people come up with to answer test questions when they haven't a clue are often good enough that if I were the teacher, I'd be tempted to give them some kind of alternative credit for creativity and entertainment value.
A lot of fun for anyone who's ever taken or given a test, probably especially for teachers.
Profile Image for Kristine.
606 reviews25 followers
December 29, 2014
This is one of those where you laugh in order not to cry. Sure, there are some hilarious answers here. Some very cunning students who would benefit from applying their obvious smarts to actual study. But some of them are just a little much to believe. Either way, an amusing and quick ride.
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
694 reviews57 followers
January 3, 2020
This was just wonderful. With funny non-answers and quite a lot of snark, these creative teenagers made my day. Some of the answers come with their own illustrations. Lots of good belly laughs here. 5 stars.
Profile Image for Hilary "Fox".
2,154 reviews68 followers
October 15, 2018
This book contained far more new material than the previous entry in the series. While the jokes remain glib and, quite frankly, ridiculous, it still got a few good laughs out of me. Karen's previous reviews of the books in this series enumerate the why of these books existing, and provide a good look into the content herein. These books are fun to flip through, to glance at on the way to other books. They're good gifts for a teacher or graduate, although chances are both have already viewed some of this material before online. Still, the thought counts for something, right? And it isn't as if anyone wouldn't get at least one laugh from out of these books.

I liked getting these from the library for a quick, anxiety quelling read. The elementary school section is full of amusing mispellings and poor word choice. Here Doctor Who fights the dialects, which anyone who struggles with understanding a Scottish accent might understand .J.K. Rowling is a child's heroin, which again, is probably true.. It's all amusing, if a low form of humor. Later editions include attributing destruction and loss of life to American Idol ending rather than a volcanic eruption.

It's fun and enjoyable, don't deny it. Nobody is above this entertaining humor.
Profile Image for Gary Fong.
73 reviews
March 20, 2014
I had enjoyed other similar examples but seeing a whole book seems depressing after going through some. I read some from each section and hardly got a chuckle.
835 reviews6 followers
June 2, 2014
Some of these were funny, but they make a shaky premise (these are real answers to tests!) even shakier by not just reproducing the original documents.
Profile Image for Reta.
220 reviews11 followers
June 29, 2021
If you’re having a bad day, read this book; your day will improve. If you are having a good day, read this book; your day will improve.

Give this book to a friend.

Give this book to a teacher.

Note: don’t read this book at the library (you will be laughing so loud you will be kicked out).

(The note is from a friend of mine.)
Profile Image for Sarah.
158 reviews
Read
June 24, 2015
Have you ever had the unfortunate experience of taking a test and all of a sudden your mind goes blank? Or better yet, have you just wrote down a random answer just so that you would not leave the question blank and have a chance at getting some credit instead of none? I have experienced some of these things before throughout my academic career. It is not fun, believe me. My encounters with test-taking made me to decide to pick up this book. I found it humorous and in some cases, daring.
This book focuses on the subjects of English, science, psychology and sociology, performing arts, history, math and economics, and geography. This book has an extra credit chapter in which answers from different subjects are shown. It is amazing to look at the different types of handwriting that is used in the book. I have read many times before that it can tell a lot about a person and their personality. I also could not help but chuckle and smile as I read through some of these silly answers. Some of them may have been totally wrong, but I give the students an A for effort due to the fact that something is better than nothing.
While I was reading this book, I could not help but wonder how the teachers graded their students. Sometimes the students’ responses were clearly full of common sense and practicality. Others were just plain off the wall. As a result, I started thinking about how I would grade some of these answers and tests if I were in the teacher’s shoes. I seemed to have decided that I would probably give ½ credit for answers that make me laugh.
In conclusion, this book is a great stress reliever. It is funny and it makes me realize that it is okay to forget sometimes. It showed me that there are people out there who sometimes do not always have the answers, just like me. This book is a great light read and is very pleasing to your funny bone but not so much a GPA.
Profile Image for Claudia.
2,658 reviews115 followers
March 29, 2014
Ok -- the book claims that this is a collection of wrong answers to test questions, but I'm not sure there are this many clever kids who don't know the answers...I know when I didn't know an answer, I was not this clever...

What fun! Divided into the disciplines, there's something for everyone.

List the main events of ROBINSON CRUSOE: He goes on a cruise
Name a key theme in MADAME BOVARY: Cows
Give a brief summary of THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE: Jekyll and Hyde find a suitcase and it's very strange.
How is Piggy made sympathetic in LORD OF THE FLIES: His little curly tail.

You get the idea...in order to 'get' this book, the reader must know something. Know why this answer is wrong

Write a sentence containing a 'question tag': I should know what that is, shouldn't I? Man, I hope THAT got credit.

Fun
16 reviews1 follower
June 4, 2015
When my father and I came across this book I was spectacle, It seemed like such a dumb, shallow, not-worth-reading book. But the book also looked very appealing with its cleverly designed cover and its and concept. This book is a compilation of the ridiculous answers students have given after realizing that their is not hope on an examination. At first I thought I thought that this book was too shallow to have a theme, mainly because as a mere compilation of hopeless attempts at points. I realized that this because encourages two things; One, it encourages you to persevere and put in the work on tests, second it encourages you to study, thus avoiding this entire situation. I’d rate this book a 10/10 because it forced me to change my perspective on what makes a book good. This book has a part two, which I, from what I have gathered, would highly recommend.
Profile Image for Karin.
Author 15 books261 followers
February 25, 2014
Perfect book for the reluctant reader. This is one you can pick up and skip around until you find something you think is particularly funny - some of the answers are funnier than others, of course. Basically, this is the perfect bathroom book. One you can read in short bursts of time.

F this Test includes silly test answers in the following categories: English, Science, Psychology and Sociology, Performing Arts, History, Math and Economics, Geography, and Extra Credit. Some of the answers are really clever! A few had me laughing out loud.

If you like this one, be sure to find the other two, F in Exams, and F is for Effort.
Profile Image for Shannon Fay.
371 reviews20 followers
August 24, 2017
This was funny. Not like actually laugh out loud funny, not definitely snicker to yourself sometimes, funny.

Overall it was a cute book, good for a few laughs, but I'm not keeping it, because honestly, books like this aren't worth the space on my shelf when I have so many books that I want to keep in my "forever library."

Also, as a random side note, I know these are questions that kids couldn't answer so they came up with funny and ridiculous answers, and many of them were just as balling to me. But I'm just saying, there were plenty of questions that it seemed could have been answered with simple common sense or the barest minimum of knowledge.
Profile Image for Scott.
49 reviews3 followers
January 26, 2015
This was a quick read and a fairly funny book. School can be fun if you know all the answers but of course there are those times when you don't know the answer. Faced with this catastrophe, the students whose real test answers are collected in this book are good for a laugh. Here are some of my favourites:
"
Q: Define dialect.
A: Dr. Who's biggest enemies were the dialects.

Q: What problem rocked the USSR in 1986?
A: The Beatles.

Q: Name the four humours of Greek medicine.
A: Slapstick, irony, wordplay, and poo jokes.
"
Profile Image for Stef.
1,173 reviews6 followers
October 20, 2015
I read "F in Exams" and its sequels, "F for Effort" and "F This Test," at the same time, so their content blends together for me. A funny collection of desperate schoolkids' exam answers that rely on creativity and not what knowledge they retained. Enjoyed the answer of "when one person won't shut up" to "What is a monologue?" as well as the answer to "Some people agree with the building of coastal defenses while others disagree with it. Why is this?": "Some people will disagree with anything." The student isn't wrong!
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
690 reviews1 follower
April 11, 2014
As with the other two books in the series, this book is really funny. My only problem is that I wish the author would cite where sources for these "real" answers. There is a feeling that some of these are crafted instead of being legitimate.

Regardless, this is a very quick read (20-30 minutes) that is funny and can show huge gaps in our students' learning.

I recommend it as a teacher gift or for some light reading!
Profile Image for Jessi.
260 reviews12 followers
January 7, 2017
When I was in school and didn't know the answers on a test, I would worry and panic. There is no way I could have come up with something clever under that pressure. Therefore, I appreciate the humor that some of these students had when they clearly did not know the answer. Example:

Q: Frog numbers are falling rapidly. Explain the effect this will have on the insect population.
A: They will have a party.

This was an enjoyable and quick book, and a good way to start off my 2017 reading.
Profile Image for Scott.
1,124 reviews8 followers
December 12, 2015
I don't know if I wasn't in the right mood, or if Benson was just a little short of good material on this outing, but this didn't strike me as being as funny as his two similar books that I'd read. That's not to say I didn't get some decent chuckles out of this one, because I did. Just not as many as I'd hoped for.
4 reviews1 follower
May 16, 2018
This book of the series was my favorite because it was the most funny to me. It made me want to keep reading it and not stop it was hard to put down because of how funny it was. I finished really fast because I couldn't put it down due to how funny it was and because these books are all a fast read.
365 reviews1 follower
April 9, 2014
These seem to be getting better and better. I've read the other two he's "authored" and they are all hysterical! Great light and humorous reading before bed or at the beach. I can't help but read this out loud to my husband (poor guy!).
Profile Image for Sarah.
1,485 reviews26 followers
June 12, 2014
Four solid stars for F this Test

Not quite as funny as the last two, but it still had a few answers that made me chuckle.

Totally recommend this as a very quick read for people of all ages.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
640 reviews3 followers
July 8, 2014
Funny if you are an educator. Some of the answers make you want to bang your head on something hard. Lots of the strange answers seem to stem from a language barrier and I'm just not sure that's funny.
Profile Image for Kathleen.
38 reviews12 followers
September 21, 2014
My daughter loves this book!!!! She is 16 btw....it is filled with humor and I think when you are in school no matter your age or grade you need some humor to help with the rigorous routine that one must go through. If you do not find this funny you really need to check your self....
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