Pretty: A Memoir

by KB Brookins

By a prize-winning, young Black trans writer of outsized talent, a fierce and disciplined memoir about queerness, masculinity, and race.

Even as it shines light on the beauty and toxicity of Black masculinity from a transgender perspective—the tropes, the presumptions—Pretty is as much a powerful and tender love letter as it is a call for change.

“I should be able to define myself, but I am not. Not by any governmental or cultural body,” Brookins writes. “Every day, I negotiate the space between who I am, how I’m perceived, and what I need to unlearn. People have assumed things about me, and I can’t change that. Every day, I am assumed to be a Black American man, though my ID says ‘female,’ and my heart says neither of the sort. What does it mean – to be a girl-turned-man when you’re something else entirely?”

Informed by KB Brookins’s personal experiences growing up in Texas, those of other Black transgender masculine people, Black queer studies, and cultural criticism, Pretty is concerned with the marginalization suffered by a unique American constituency—whose condition is a world apart from that of cisgender, non-Black, and non-masculine people. Here is a memoir (a bildungsroman of sorts) about coming to terms with instantly and always being perceived as “other”

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, Transgender, Poetry, Audiobook

240 pages, Hardcover

Published May 28, 2024

Reviews

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Less of a memoir but like a collection of essay/manifesto/poetry! I really appreciate the author mentions not just the medical difficulty for trans people (it blows my mind that one needs to fundraise for life-affirming surgeries) but also the social adjustments.

They raise some fascinating thoughts about how one’s gender identity is influenced by social norms and how to parse out one’s identity from expectations. I wish this is discussed more in depth.

The discussions of toxic masculinity, especially within the Black (Christian) community is another focal point of the book.

While I don’t think PRETTY discusses anything new in terms of trans/queer/black experience, it’s still a book I’d recommend reading to remind ourselves of the importance of forming a truly inclusive community ❤️

The poems are very powerful and my favorite part of the book!

[kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brookins memoir on gender and sexuality—specifically Black transsexuality—is honest, unflinching, and moving; providing insightful and thought-provoking commentary on toxic masculinity and gender norms.

Special thanks to Knopf and NetGalley for my copy. OUT TODAY!!!

[Shelby (catching up on 2025 reviews) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to come
Thank you PRH Audio for my gifted copy.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really beautiful, heartbreaking, and eye-opening book. As a cis white het, I chose this memoir by a trans, black, nonbinary person to better evolve my understanding of experiences other than my own. KB is a great storyteller and presents shaping experiences of their life in a way that is honest and reflective. I truly feel like I have better insight into the trans/black/nonbinary experience after reading this book.

I did listen to this via audiobook - because I tend to choose memoirs read by the author as my choice audiobook. I will say, however, it probably would've been better to had physically read this book rather than listening to it. KB peppers poetry throughout retellings of their experiences. On audio, it is hard to tell sometimes when something is happening literally vs when it is a passage of poetry. That's a testament to KB's writing style - that the prose flows such that it can be mistaken for poetry - but I probably could have spared some confusion on my end had I seen the transition between memory and poem.

[Peacejanz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an unusual book and is difficult to read. Many folks who are straight/cis or who have never considered any sexual orientation except the one their parents told them they were will not understand this book. Folks who are uncertain about their orientation or want to be someone that parents do not want them to be or don't understand will gain a lot from this book. So will the families and friends of people who exhibit genders different from what they were born as. A young person, now known as KB Brookins, has written this difficult painful book about themself. We never learn the birth name of this person; but we learn a lot about the mean hateful treatment of them, especially at church. KB had the misfortune to be born as a black person and to be raised in a STRONG church family and the members of the church as well as some relatives expressed their distain and hatred for them. KB struggled with who, what gender, what possibilities they could achieve through most of their life. Most of all, KB wanted to know who their blood father was. And KB wanted to be pretty. Their father liked pretty girls and a cousin was pretty. KB was raised as a girl, with girl clothes and toys but felt that they were not pretty. KB was estranged from their family for much of their life, yet learned to write creatively and to create meaningful poetry. We learn that KB is very educated and industrious - at one point, KB was getting ready for graduate school and working two jobs. The average person does not do that. KB includes a painful photo about themself after gender surgery and another photo of themself as a beautiful young woman. It is a book written to educate and a book written for folks who have a lot of questions about themselves and about their sexuality. It is painful and deep reading, leading to a lot of thought on the part of the reader. A book for people who want information, who are willing to read about the pain imposed on people who are "different" by any measure.

[Val · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

more a collection of essays & poems than a linear or narrative memoir, exploring the Black trans masc experience. a lot of themes shared with other QTPOC memoirs such as intersectionality, gender dys/euphoria, & inclusive spaces, as well as some more unique sections like the author trying to connect with/find his biological family, access medical care as a Black trans masc person, & navigate literary/academic spaces

just a impactful, insightful, informative read that i really enjoyed — fab on audio too!

[Natalie Park · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely writing, a mix of memoir and poetry about the author’s young life, being queer and trans, and the daily life of being trans. Although there’s a small mention, I appreciated the author’s insights on the way people treated him black woman vs black man and the fear and danger that people perceive from a black man.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this memoir that blends poetry and essays, and KB Brookins' writing and their voice.

[eliza · Rating 2 out of 5]

i really really wanted to love this book but me & k.b’s writing did not jibe most of the time. there were some beautiful lines though. definitely more essays/poetry than an actual memoir

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I moved this up the TBR from my May list because of the #transrightsreadathon, polished it off at the beginning of April.

An incredibly sharp, incisive memoir about being a Black, non-binary, transmasc person in a world where the only acceptable way to be - if AFAB - is hyperfeminine, cishet female and the "right" kind of Black girl. And how that norm is enforced for KB even before they're old enough to understand or articulate their internal sense of self. A really standout chapter is where KB, now in college and identifying as a Butch Lesbian around then, discusses how internalized toxic masculinity colored the way they treated their girlfriend at the time. And I had never thought of it that way, but it makes so much sense. KB is so emotionally honest in this chapter, recognizing the ways that "masculinity" has harmed them but how they perpetuated that harm in an unexpected way and are working to undo within them.

"Pretty as in the softest form of me possible, a personality that is as silky as the shirts I now search for in thrift stores."

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook narrated by the author

I loved this mix of poetry with narrative with essays.

I picked this up by chance and it hit literally so close to home. Brookins and I grew up in the same general area of Texas at the same time, so all the references to places and events and pop culture were the same that I use to contextualize my teenaged years. That was really cool and unexpected.

I think the mixed writing style made the reading experience really unique. The narration was fantastic too.

One part that really made me think more was the story about going to the obgyn. It’s been a few days since I finished the book, but that story is still on my mind. I hate going to the obgyn, but I had never before thought about what it’s like to go to the obgyn as a trans person.

[Nuha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks Knopf and NetGalley for the Advanced Reader's Copy!

Available May 28th 2024.

Searing and vulnerable, KB Brookins' Pretty is an exploration of what it means to be a Black trans male in the American South today. Told through prose essays and bursts of poetry, the memoir follows KB from childhood in Fort Worth to adulthood in Austin, TX. Alongside personal experiences, KB meditates on a range of subjects such as hospital care for trans people, working in the nonprofit industry, and pursuing an MFA. One of the most powerful parts of this book was when KB takes accountability for past abusive behavior - it showed true vulnerability with the audience.

[Jaime · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not a "by the dates" memoir, but more of a reflection by a man on his childhood as an AFAB child in his southern, black, christian community. Mixed in are poems that he has written, and that are sometimes broken down within the text. He often feels the pressure not only to be a proper, pretty, churchly girl, but also the pressure of being enough for his adoptive parents. He has a lot to say about the misogyny of the church and toxic masculinity in the black community. He's sadly very matter-of-fact about the sexual abuse he suffered as a child, which wasn't a one-time thing. But at the end I find hopefulness as he finds his place in the world and acceptance of his own body.

[Mars Nels · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a white cis woman, this book opened my world view.

I like to think of myself as an intersectional feminist and open-minded.

I was appalled by the treatment of the author by many of their family members, “friends“, and especially healthcare workers (as I happen to be).

Even still, I learned a lot in regard to the struggles that a Black transmasculine non-binary person has to go through. Especially living in a more conservative Texas where reproductive rights and bodily autonomy are limited as is.

KB did a fantastic job sharing their life stories, no matter how difficult. I hope they continue to do so so that the world can continue to understand.

[Kayla - the.bookish.mama · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir felt like it was a mix of a traditional memoir, essays, and poems, and I am here for it. KB not only shares their story, but addresses social and political issues. Definitely read this one!

[Book Mitch · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[draxtor · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an ABSOLUTELY fab writer KB is! Treat yourself to this one folks and then pick up their poetry and their zines and and and .... thank you KB for being so honest :)

[Stephanie Dargusch Borders · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should be required reading. KB lays it all out there. You may think you’re well versed on trans issues but this book really highlights all the work that still needs to be done.

[jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I’ve always been me: fat, Black, queer, trans, and pretty. I deserve a world where I don’t have to be resilient.”

💌 Thank you so much to @aaknopf for sending me this beautiful hardcover copy of this stunning memoir.

This is a poetic, but insightful, vulnerable account of the layered reality of being Black, queer and trans in America, more specifically in Texas. This experience includes being raised as a girl, within the rigid structures of “female” and “male”, and arriving at the receiving end of that performed masculinity in the form of bullying and assault. This is devastating, of course, and confronts society and bias, bur does so in a way that is undeniably rousing and beautiful. In many ways this memoir, despite it’s difficult subject matter, remains funny and even joyful, a celebration of being and embracing an identity.

There are many aspects of KB Brookins’ life that I recognized; religious oppression, being queer in a homophobic town, being aware of and in danger from men and boys— but the experience of being trans in a Black body is something that I will never truly be able to comprehend. I appreciate that through this story (and other memoirs and even fiction) that has been so bravely and generously shared, I can learn more and expand my own empathy and action. I highly recommend this for your PRIDE reading next month, and all year long.

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty is a raw and moving memoir by KB Brookins, a Black trans poet. They highlight the intersections between race, gender, and size. They were adopted relatively young and much of their childhood in Texas is spent in the church. Much of their community revolved around the church, but they were consistently being told they were not acting enough like a girl. KB is sexually abused starting at a very young age, which is not acknowledged by others. Interspersed throughout this memoir are poems. As Brookins is a poet, these are a great addition to the overall arch of the book. While much of the book is focused on their interactions with the world, they also highlight challenges going through the world as a fat, black, trans individual. Each identity comes with their own oppression and stereotypes. They talk about how the publishing world is not properly highlighting these stories and individuals. They write about how masculinity is embodied by others and how it is learned. A moving (and frustrating section) is about them trying to navigate the world of reproductive health as someone who still needs to see a ob/gyn- are there gender specific bathrooms? no, I am calling for an appointment for myself. That is my legal name, but please use my preferred name (and still proceeds to be called by their dead name). It is infuriating, but not surprising.

Thank you to Knopf via NetGalley for the advance reader copy in exchange for honest review.

[Newt]

What a creative rendition of a memoir! As an aspiring poet, I quite enjoyed KB's weaving of memoir, poetry, and prose. Although the pacing felt a bit like a ramble at times, the ways this book challenged canonical perspectives across feminism, transness, Blackness, and queerness with frequently hard-hitting lines makes up for it.

There were many standout lines and verses that were gutting to read. In these lines sat opinions I'd never witnessed, specifically regarding how trans masculinity fits into feminism and reproductive rights. I was even more wowed by their commentary on the Black male experience and how trans masculinity intersects with and is it.

I especially appreciated the sheer honesty. KB doesn't sit there and pretend that all they've ever been is a victim to the harm of transphobia, misogyny, and racism. They acknowledge that they've perpetuated the harm at times and that the sociopolitical systems around them fostered such behavior.

This was a perspective-altering read I recommend to anyone wanting to broaden their understanding of the above topics. Thank you for your enlightening insight, KB.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever “wanted nakedness so badly but never been alone long enough to have it?” Indeed, have you stood truly naked before yourself? Did you provide your own mirror? What did you see, and what did it say? “Has your body ever felt like you?” If these questions touch a nerve, if you’ve felt like a runner in a race that no one wants to win, if you grew up in a family that told you to close your legs and mind your manners (and the gaps), check out Pretty: A Memoir by KB Brookins, a Black, queer and trans writer and cultural worker from Fort Worth, Texas. Accompany KB from a church that blamed them for their own abuse to the kickball field where playing too well got them branded a “manly girl” to a young adulthood misperceived as “erasable masculine Black woman” or “hypervisible, scary Black man,” despite all the ways they have tried to live authentically. “How could I give the flesh I didn’t want back to where it came from?” they ask. Carve it from yourself, shape it like a book, and dare the world to read and finally see.

[Kera’s Always Reading · Rating 5 out of 5]

First drawn to this book by the cover and title, I found such an incredibly story inside. KB Brookins tells us the story of their life growing up in a body that didn’t fit. People are expected to fit neatly into this box or that box and Brookins is working hard to discourage that notion. Love that!

Being let in for the story they have let us into, being a spectator of sorts to a an experience so personal is a powerful thing. They give the good, the bad, and the messy in between.

The message Brookins wants to get across pertaining to the Black community, the trans community was so informative. There was so much compassion in this memoir, and a lot of really hard truths.

I had such a unique time reading this book. There were moments that brought me to tears, and moments that I was cheering. Memoirs are personal and this was deeply personal! I am so grateful to KB Brookins for sharing their story. Pictures and resources are included that just made it even more of an experience.

I could not recommend this one more.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“ So many selves I had to hide from and only let free in the dark.” KB Brookins shares the vulnerable story of their gender identity, sexuality, and transition in this memoir in essays, Pretty. I was most intrigued by the experimentation with form between essays, using things like lists or templates or verse in between traditional narrative. Brookins takes on the performance of toxic masculinity, the need for tenderness and care, and aesthetic desire. At times, the text sears with its emotional truth, Brookins holding the reader with them in the uncomfortable and necessary spaces between gender and performance, between stereotypes. They write: “ Every day that I wake up able to live the life I do, I know that I’m walking uncharted territory: the newly self-acquired land of my body. I’m breaking into expressions and ways of being intentionally axed from history.” It’s an important memoir in context and form

[Ari Jwl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Undoubtedly of my favorite memoirs & exactly what I needed to read at this time in my life :)

One of my favorite passages:

“These days, I have new outlooks on Black masculinity. My masculinity means confidence, daring to question toxicity, wearing pretiness in a world that sees us as aggressive by default, It means honesty; I'm honestly into telling femmes who I was and who I strive to be; I don't ask for help when I won't help myself. I am myself, not a template of masculinity that's come before; just myself.

I am that hellish teenage nightmare letting history fall all over me and deciding to wash it off as I dip myself into perception that isn't seen as pretty. My past is singed to me, housed in my heart as a reminder when I'm quick to judge Black masc people for something they shouldn't be doing.

We can shed ourselves, be limitless, and embody everything pretty. I am mine, you are yours, this world is ours, everyone's, to be safe in.”

[Jaylee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not big on memoirs or non-fiction, but I was drawn to the cover of this one as soon as I saw it on Spotify.
KB tells their story in a way that holds your attention, mixing in poetry and essays, making this book feel so much more than just a memoir. The audiobook being read by the author helps maintain the intended tone and emotion, which is important in a story like this.
This is a beautifully written and moving memoir about growing up not fitting into any of the boxes assigned by society, and the intersectionality of being trans, queer, black, and plus-size. The author also touches on misogyny and toxic masculinity and how these things affect us all, regardless of gender.

This book is deeply honest and emotional, and I highly recommend it to anyone seeking to learn more about queer, trans, and black experiences, or people who fit into those categories and are looking to feel seen.

[Ollie · Rating 5 out of 5]

(4.5) This book was raw and so vulnerable. The author talks about so many different intersections of their identities and how it affected their view of the world and how the world views them. The author talks about everything from being assaulted multiple times starting around 5 by many different types of people. They later talked about how they were the abuser, specifically in one of their long term relationships(written with consent from the person they abused). They also talk about the fear of having PIV sex for the first time. It feels like every little was off topic. There was definitely an obvious focus on problems the black community faces and the problems in it, specifically sexism, homophobia, and transphobia.

I loved how the book was a mix of memories, thoughts and opinions on the world, and poetry. It’s messy but in a beautiful way like all humans are.

[Hayden Houts · Rating 4 out of 5]

This year I’ve decided to read 12 books at least, I want to just be more of a reader this year and this was the first book I picked up from the library. If you’re looking to hear from the perspective of a non-binary person of color this is definitely a book I would recommend. KB constantly addresses struggles that many people under their identities go through, and the combination of how those identities together often create a different experience that can often be isolating. As someone who is non-binary, I love hearing from perspectives of those within my community and there is a special importance on lifting up black voices in these spaces. Give this one a read if you’re willing, you won’t regret it.

[Taylor]

The honest and poignant memoir "Pretty" is written by black trans poet KB Brookins. They draw attention to the ways that race, gender, and size intersect. They spent a large portion of their upbringing in Texas in churches, as they were adopted at a young age. Their church was the center of much of their community, yet they were constantly warned they weren't acting girlish enough. From an early age, KB experiences sexual abuse, which goes unreported by others. Poems are dotted throughout this memoir. Since Brookins is a poet, these poems add a lot to the book's main plot. They also draw attention to the difficulties faced by fat, black, and transgender people in the world. Every identity has its own prejudices and forms of oppression. 
 
To be honest, I feel that this book should be required reading. Not only because it is honest and emotional, but because I learned so much more than I thought. Going into this, I did not think I would learn anything other than about the author's life. However, I learned so much more. 
 
I recommend this to all of my followers. If you have a chance to read this one, then please do. Forewarning: The "Channel Orange" chapter just might break you. 
 
Thank you so much to KNopf for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. 

[Gaby Benitez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book!!! Such a worthwhile and necessary read from and about a Black, queer, transmasculine, and nonbinary author about growing up and living in Texas. If you're from Texas (like me), this memoir really highlights the stigma and erasure that communities of color and queer communities face from the rest of the country, and also the ways that systematic oppression filters into our interpersonal and familial relationships. But beyond the big picture, KB's work is a heartfelt, at times heartbreaking, and oftentimes humorous reflection on their life. A beautiful read that is making me want to read more of this genre overall!