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Holy Terrors Mystery #1
The Holy Terrors
Six people locked in a haunted hall . . . Cameras watching their every move . . . And then someone dies . . . This first in a spine-tingling new paranormal mystery series from New York Times bestselling British fantasy author Simon R. Green will make you doubt your judgement - and believe in ghosts!
Welcome to Spooky Time, the hit TV ghost-hunting show where the horror is scripted . . . and the ratings are declining rapidly. What better way to up the stakes - and boost the viewership - than by locking a select group of Z-list celebrities up for the night in The Most Haunted Hall in England (TM) and live-streaming the 'terrifying' results?
Soon Alistair, a newly appointed Bishop, actress Diana, medium Leslie, comedian Toby and celebrity chef Indira are trapped inside Stonehaven town hall, along with June, the host and producer of the show. The group tries to settle in and put on a good show, but then strange things start happening in their hall of horrors.
What is it about this place - and why is the TV crew outside not responding? Are they even on air?
Logical Alistair attempts to keep the group's fears at bay and rationalise the odd events, but there are things that just can't be explained within reason . . . Can he stop a cold-blooded would-be killer - even if it's come from beyond the grave?
This locked-room mystery with a paranormal twist is classic Simon R. Green, featuring his trademark humour and imagination, irresistible characters, and thoroughly entertaining plotting.
Welcome to Spooky Time, the hit TV ghost-hunting show where the horror is scripted . . . and the ratings are declining rapidly. What better way to up the stakes - and boost the viewership - than by locking a select group of Z-list celebrities up for the night in The Most Haunted Hall in England (TM) and live-streaming the 'terrifying' results?
Soon Alistair, a newly appointed Bishop, actress Diana, medium Leslie, comedian Toby and celebrity chef Indira are trapped inside Stonehaven town hall, along with June, the host and producer of the show. The group tries to settle in and put on a good show, but then strange things start happening in their hall of horrors.
What is it about this place - and why is the TV crew outside not responding? Are they even on air?
Logical Alistair attempts to keep the group's fears at bay and rationalise the odd events, but there are things that just can't be explained within reason . . . Can he stop a cold-blooded would-be killer - even if it's come from beyond the grave?
This locked-room mystery with a paranormal twist is classic Simon R. Green, featuring his trademark humour and imagination, irresistible characters, and thoroughly entertaining plotting.
186 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 6, 2024
81 people are currently reading
385 people want to read
About the author
Simon R. Green
312 books3,211 followersSimon Richard Green is a British science fiction and fantasy-author. He holds a degree in Modern English and American Literature from the University of Leicester. His first publication was in 1979.
His Deathstalker series is partly a parody of the usual space-opera of the 1950s, told with sovereign disregard of the rules of probability, while being at the same time extremely bloodthirsty.
Excerpted from Wikipedia.
His Deathstalker series is partly a parody of the usual space-opera of the 1950s, told with sovereign disregard of the rules of probability, while being at the same time extremely bloodthirsty.
Excerpted from Wikipedia.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 127 reviews
March 27, 2024
Woo boy. This one is an ARC so I'mma be as nice as I can be, I promise. I mean, don't get me wrong – I was super emotionally invested in this book, but unfortunately those emotions consisted of boredom (the first half), excitement that something (anything!) was actually happening (the middle), disbelief over the terrible big reveal (the ending), and relief that it was finally over. And I really, really tried to like this book, I truly did.
First off, most of The Holy Terrors consists of unlikeable* characters arguing with each other. And there is a lot of arguing, because this is the most dialogue-heavy book that I've ever read, hands down. There is pretty much no description and almost no insight into the characters' inner thoughts. The characters' backstories consist of a few lines of dialogue each. This book is probably 70% bickering and threats, 20% Diana saying “Bish” or “darling,” and 10% actual substance.
And can we talk about how unnaturally attached the characters got to each other in such a short period of time? They were in this place for, what? Twelve hours, perhaps? Within a few hours of meeting, one of the characters had practically adopted another and was swearing fealty to her like he was a medieval European knight. And “Bish” and Diana needed to get a room. “Ever since I met you, not all my thoughts have been fit for family viewing.” Classy, Bishop, very classy.
Next up: The big reveal. I think pretty much everyone will see the bulk of it coming – it's rather obvious from very early on. But the method by which certain … things were accomplished? Come on now. Aliens could have beamed into the hall at the end and claimed responsibility via space lasers and it would have been more believable than what was actually written. I wish I could say more without spoiling things because holy crap you guys, but alas.
And then there's Alistair's sudden transformation into an insta-detective for the reveal. One minute he's a bishop and the next he's Hercule Poirot … kind of. It was so disorienting and unexpected.
So what did I like about this book? Well, the premise was good. I'm a sucker for campy ghost hunting shows, and this could be an amazing story with some (okay, a lot of) revisions. I also really liked Leslie's character, despite all of his flaws, and I wish he could have had more page time – nothing makes for a good haunted house (building?) story like a medium communing with the dead. I also think that the relationships between the characters could have been a selling point had they been built up a little more slowly and with some substance behind them.
Final rating: 1.6 stars, rounded up. The idea was good but the execution flawed.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Severn House for providing me with an advance copy of this book to review.
*Yes, I know I'm American, but I've given up on attempting to spell this word the American way. It's unnatural.
First off, most of The Holy Terrors consists of unlikeable* characters arguing with each other. And there is a lot of arguing, because this is the most dialogue-heavy book that I've ever read, hands down. There is pretty much no description and almost no insight into the characters' inner thoughts. The characters' backstories consist of a few lines of dialogue each. This book is probably 70% bickering and threats, 20% Diana saying “Bish” or “darling,” and 10% actual substance.
And can we talk about how unnaturally attached the characters got to each other in such a short period of time? They were in this place for, what? Twelve hours, perhaps? Within a few hours of meeting, one of the characters had practically adopted another and was swearing fealty to her like he was a medieval European knight. And “Bish” and Diana needed to get a room. “Ever since I met you, not all my thoughts have been fit for family viewing.” Classy, Bishop, very classy.
Next up: The big reveal. I think pretty much everyone will see the bulk of it coming – it's rather obvious from very early on. But the method by which certain … things were accomplished? Come on now. Aliens could have beamed into the hall at the end and claimed responsibility via space lasers and it would have been more believable than what was actually written. I wish I could say more without spoiling things because holy crap you guys, but alas.
And then there's Alistair's sudden transformation into an insta-detective for the reveal. One minute he's a bishop and the next he's Hercule Poirot … kind of. It was so disorienting and unexpected.
So what did I like about this book? Well, the premise was good. I'm a sucker for campy ghost hunting shows, and this could be an amazing story with some (okay, a lot of) revisions. I also really liked Leslie's character, despite all of his flaws, and I wish he could have had more page time – nothing makes for a good haunted house (building?) story like a medium communing with the dead. I also think that the relationships between the characters could have been a selling point had they been built up a little more slowly and with some substance behind them.
Final rating: 1.6 stars, rounded up. The idea was good but the execution flawed.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Severn House for providing me with an advance copy of this book to review.
*Yes, I know I'm American, but I've given up on attempting to spell this word the American way. It's unnatural.
October 13, 2025
The Holy Terrors is a good book. Particularly, if you go into it expecting a Cozy Mystery with potential Paranormal aspects.
Unfortunately for me, I went into this expecting Religious Horror, which it absolutely is not. I think at the time I received this as an ARC, it was not designated as Book #1 of the Holy Terrors Mystery series.
If it had been, I think it would have tempered my expectations a bit. Nevertheless, I do highly recommend the audiobook if you are going to pick this one up, and now that I know what the series is about, I would be interested in picking up the 2nd-book, Stone Certainty.
I love Cozy Mysteries and I think that the MC of this, Bishop Alistair Kincaid, could be a fun one to follow. I feel we have so much more to learn about his character and I'm down to explore that with him.
It also seems like he may be pairing up with another one of the characters from this book, Diana, an actress. They had some interesting chemistry, so that could be intriguing, watching them work together again.
This story also has a fun set-up. Alistair and Diana are involved with the filming of a television ghost-hunting show, where they, along with some other folks, get locked into a reportedly haunted hall overnight.
Unfortunately, while that set-up is great and should lead to a lot of creepy action, I feel like the narrative is much more focused on the interpersonal dynamics going on between all of these trapped show people.
I feel like it was a bit of a missed opportunity to create a genuinely-creepy vibe. With this being said though, there's nothing wrong with a more character-focused mystery, it just wasn't what I was expecting, or in the mood for, when I picked this up, sadly.
Overall though, I think if you go into this with the right expectations, this could definitely be a quick, fun read. Again, check out the audio if you plan to pick it up.
Thank you to the publisher, Severn House, for providing me with a copy to read and review.
It's more likely than not that I will be checking out the next book now that I know more what to expect. I'm excited!
Unfortunately for me, I went into this expecting Religious Horror, which it absolutely is not. I think at the time I received this as an ARC, it was not designated as Book #1 of the Holy Terrors Mystery series.
If it had been, I think it would have tempered my expectations a bit. Nevertheless, I do highly recommend the audiobook if you are going to pick this one up, and now that I know what the series is about, I would be interested in picking up the 2nd-book, Stone Certainty.
I love Cozy Mysteries and I think that the MC of this, Bishop Alistair Kincaid, could be a fun one to follow. I feel we have so much more to learn about his character and I'm down to explore that with him.
It also seems like he may be pairing up with another one of the characters from this book, Diana, an actress. They had some interesting chemistry, so that could be intriguing, watching them work together again.
This story also has a fun set-up. Alistair and Diana are involved with the filming of a television ghost-hunting show, where they, along with some other folks, get locked into a reportedly haunted hall overnight.
Unfortunately, while that set-up is great and should lead to a lot of creepy action, I feel like the narrative is much more focused on the interpersonal dynamics going on between all of these trapped show people.
I feel like it was a bit of a missed opportunity to create a genuinely-creepy vibe. With this being said though, there's nothing wrong with a more character-focused mystery, it just wasn't what I was expecting, or in the mood for, when I picked this up, sadly.
Overall though, I think if you go into this with the right expectations, this could definitely be a quick, fun read. Again, check out the audio if you plan to pick it up.
Thank you to the publisher, Severn House, for providing me with a copy to read and review.
It's more likely than not that I will be checking out the next book now that I know more what to expect. I'm excited!
January 4, 2024
Rating: ⭐⭐
Genre: Horror + Mystery Thriller
Simon R. Green's The Holy Terrors is the first installment in a series of mysteries that focuses on a group of celebrities who are featured in a show called Spooky Time, which is a ghost-hunting program. The novel kicks off with the introduction of the five main characters: Alistair, a young bishop who is skeptical when it comes to the supernatural; Diana, an actress who is trying to reestablish her career; Leslie, who self-identifies as a medium and claims to communicate with spirits; Toby, a comedian who employs humor to conceal his fears; and Indira, a famous chef who is enamored with wealth and fame. Last but not least, there is June, the ambitious host and producer of the show, who has planned a special episode to air on Halloween night.
The town hall in Stonehaven, which is notorious for being the scene of gruesome murders and paranormal activity, serves as the setting for this episode. Cameras and microphones record the group's every move while they are confined to the hall for the duration of the night. They quickly realize that they are not alone and that there is something nefarious hiding in the shadows.
Throughout the night, they are confronted with a series of peculiar and terrifying occurrences, including screams that are so terrifying that they make their blood boil, flickering lights, and moving objects. In addition to this, they realize that one of their own team members is a traitor who is present for a wicked purpose. Overcoming the night and getting out of the hall will require the group to work together. They must also find out the killer's identity and the dark secrets of the hall's history.
This is one of those books whose summary makes it sound great. I was sure I would love this one. I really wanted to enjoy this book, but it was not at all what I thought it would be like. I think the author had good ideas, but I do not think he carried them out well. The first thing you will notice about this book is that the narration and dialogue are not balanced. The dialogue is about 95% of the book. Although that allows the characters to express themselves, it detracts from the book's atmosphere. There was a severe absence of atmosphere in this narrative. The hall itself ought to have served as a character. There was hardly anything about it. There was no description of the setting or the environment, and if there was any, it must have been nothing more than a passing mention.
The characters were the primary focus of attention most of the time. I am sorry to say that I did not find their conversation to be enjoyable to read. There were indeed some entertaining parts; however, I did not find them to be sufficient to give them a thumbs up. For some readers, these characters will be too campy. Whether you like that or not depends on your own personal taste. I still would have given this book an extra star if the ending did not seem so unbelievable.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.
Genre: Horror + Mystery Thriller
Simon R. Green's The Holy Terrors is the first installment in a series of mysteries that focuses on a group of celebrities who are featured in a show called Spooky Time, which is a ghost-hunting program. The novel kicks off with the introduction of the five main characters: Alistair, a young bishop who is skeptical when it comes to the supernatural; Diana, an actress who is trying to reestablish her career; Leslie, who self-identifies as a medium and claims to communicate with spirits; Toby, a comedian who employs humor to conceal his fears; and Indira, a famous chef who is enamored with wealth and fame. Last but not least, there is June, the ambitious host and producer of the show, who has planned a special episode to air on Halloween night.
The town hall in Stonehaven, which is notorious for being the scene of gruesome murders and paranormal activity, serves as the setting for this episode. Cameras and microphones record the group's every move while they are confined to the hall for the duration of the night. They quickly realize that they are not alone and that there is something nefarious hiding in the shadows.
Throughout the night, they are confronted with a series of peculiar and terrifying occurrences, including screams that are so terrifying that they make their blood boil, flickering lights, and moving objects. In addition to this, they realize that one of their own team members is a traitor who is present for a wicked purpose. Overcoming the night and getting out of the hall will require the group to work together. They must also find out the killer's identity and the dark secrets of the hall's history.
This is one of those books whose summary makes it sound great. I was sure I would love this one. I really wanted to enjoy this book, but it was not at all what I thought it would be like. I think the author had good ideas, but I do not think he carried them out well. The first thing you will notice about this book is that the narration and dialogue are not balanced. The dialogue is about 95% of the book. Although that allows the characters to express themselves, it detracts from the book's atmosphere. There was a severe absence of atmosphere in this narrative. The hall itself ought to have served as a character. There was hardly anything about it. There was no description of the setting or the environment, and if there was any, it must have been nothing more than a passing mention.
The characters were the primary focus of attention most of the time. I am sorry to say that I did not find their conversation to be enjoyable to read. There were indeed some entertaining parts; however, I did not find them to be sufficient to give them a thumbs up. For some readers, these characters will be too campy. Whether you like that or not depends on your own personal taste. I still would have given this book an extra star if the ending did not seem so unbelievable.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.
December 18, 2024
The Holy Terrors
By Simon R. Green
I have been reading this author's books since he has been writing them. My favorite series is the Nightside. I was just thinking about reading the series again when I found this book. I have the next one from NetGalley read to follow.
This is not like his other books. Mr Green can write anything and make it interesting. It's more of a mystery than a horror but intriguing either way. Of course, I never guess correctly reading mysteries. That's why I'm not a detective!
By Simon R. Green
I have been reading this author's books since he has been writing them. My favorite series is the Nightside. I was just thinking about reading the series again when I found this book. I have the next one from NetGalley read to follow.
This is not like his other books. Mr Green can write anything and make it interesting. It's more of a mystery than a horror but intriguing either way. Of course, I never guess correctly reading mysteries. That's why I'm not a detective!
February 3, 2024
I'm still a big fan of Simon R. Green because I read and re-read several of his books (e.g. the Deathstalker books). I just love them.
This one, alas, does nothing for me.
It's all talk and very soon I lost track of who was who because the characters all talked with the same tone of voice.
It's a pity and I hope the author will soon come back with new stories that are more like the ones I read and loved so much.
Thanks to Severn House and Netgalley for this review copy.
This one, alas, does nothing for me.
It's all talk and very soon I lost track of who was who because the characters all talked with the same tone of voice.
It's a pity and I hope the author will soon come back with new stories that are more like the ones I read and loved so much.
Thanks to Severn House and Netgalley for this review copy.
March 22, 2024
This was a solid 4 stars for me--I really enjoyed the authors sense of humor about reality show (which seems to match mine). Unfortunately the end brought my rating (enjoyment) down somewhat, I thought it was too on the nose.
3.4 stars
3.4 stars
October 15, 2023
I'd like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me a chance at reading this book.
Hrm. I know who Simon Green is, I have the first two books of his London paranormal mysteries series. It was during my Dresden FIles era - and those books are widely known and well regarded.
I guess this was a mixture of expectations not met and a bare bones mystery disguised as paranormal. Lets make this clear: I am 100% on board with a pastor who solves mysteries. I'm 100% on board with a series in which poses as a paranormal vs the living (which you, the reader, are having to figure out if the story's outcome is paranormal or not).
So where are the issues, why did I give this two stars? Well, for starters, the 'paranormal creepiness' does not 'creep' into the book until the 40% mark. So what are we treated to in the meantime? A lot of quips, one liners, and no real substance. We are introduced to a cast of characters (meeting the pastor first, since you seem to follow him through this), and you watch that he is paired with Diana (the actress), who you realize can only say 'Bish' 'Darling' and 'dear' way too much. You also don't learn much else about them or their personalities. You then meet the others, and... again, you don't know much more than why they're there.
People start dying but I was like, 'why do I care? why is this one guy upset over this younger girl he hardly knew and had a connection with and wanted to be like a father to her'? Where is their bonding? Where do two complete strangers who know each other for less than 4 hours get to that level?
The pastor, our lead, literally becomes a detective in the moment we loose ANOTHER person. Wait. Backup. Is the pastor also a detective on the side? What do we know about him? He is in his late twenties, handsome, and he is here because they wanted someone to be a focus point of bringing more exposure to the clergy / religious world. That's it. So when this guy starts going Sherlock Holmes 2.0 and Diana turns into a lack luster Watson, it's confusing as hell because you don't know if he moonlights as a detective on the side.
Maybe some people can just sit back and enjoy the story, but the story itself? I figured out what was going on instantly. So I read the rest of the book to see if I was right (I was) and I was upset with how it ended, because I really hoped for something to pull the rug out from under me.
I think that, with more meet, more CHARACTER development, more 'creep' factor, this could be an interesting series (which this is being pegged as) of a pastor who solves mysteries that are deemed paranormal. Though, I have to question if he is really a pastor ... since he is a bit of a horny little shit by the end of the book.
So. Here I am, writing this review. "Good, but can be better".
Hrm. I know who Simon Green is, I have the first two books of his London paranormal mysteries series. It was during my Dresden FIles era - and those books are widely known and well regarded.
I guess this was a mixture of expectations not met and a bare bones mystery disguised as paranormal. Lets make this clear: I am 100% on board with a pastor who solves mysteries. I'm 100% on board with a series in which poses as a paranormal vs the living (which you, the reader, are having to figure out if the story's outcome is paranormal or not).
So where are the issues, why did I give this two stars? Well, for starters, the 'paranormal creepiness' does not 'creep' into the book until the 40% mark. So what are we treated to in the meantime? A lot of quips, one liners, and no real substance. We are introduced to a cast of characters (meeting the pastor first, since you seem to follow him through this), and you watch that he is paired with Diana (the actress), who you realize can only say 'Bish' 'Darling' and 'dear' way too much. You also don't learn much else about them or their personalities. You then meet the others, and... again, you don't know much more than why they're there.
People start dying but I was like, 'why do I care? why is this one guy upset over this younger girl he hardly knew and had a connection with and wanted to be like a father to her'? Where is their bonding? Where do two complete strangers who know each other for less than 4 hours get to that level?
The pastor, our lead, literally becomes a detective in the moment we loose ANOTHER person. Wait. Backup. Is the pastor also a detective on the side? What do we know about him? He is in his late twenties, handsome, and he is here because they wanted someone to be a focus point of bringing more exposure to the clergy / religious world. That's it. So when this guy starts going Sherlock Holmes 2.0 and Diana turns into a lack luster Watson, it's confusing as hell because you don't know if he moonlights as a detective on the side.
Maybe some people can just sit back and enjoy the story, but the story itself? I figured out what was going on instantly. So I read the rest of the book to see if I was right (I was) and I was upset with how it ended, because I really hoped for something to pull the rug out from under me.
I think that, with more meet, more CHARACTER development, more 'creep' factor, this could be an interesting series (which this is being pegged as) of a pastor who solves mysteries that are deemed paranormal. Though, I have to question if he is really a pastor ... since he is a bit of a horny little shit by the end of the book.
So. Here I am, writing this review. "Good, but can be better".
October 26, 2023
I had no idea that Simon Green was already famous for his Nightside series when I requested this book from NetGalley and I must say this is book does not do him any favors in me wanting to read it.
The plot sounds cool but everything else was not good to me.
Several people get chosen to be on a show like Ghost Hunters. They got locked in a haunted hallway, which is already a “meh” setting, but they’re being filmed of their survival for one night where 20+ people have already been killed. You get a mediocre build up of tension from random sounds in the walls and footsteps but nobody is there. Then people start dying and there ends up being the same clue on all the bodies which already gives away the big reveal that I almost 100% figured out at about 75%. The “big” reveal happens and the book ends within 5 pages and even the ending was bad. The characters are very annoying. I don’t know if I can ever stand to hear the word “darling” ever again. There’s not one but TWO characters that constantly use the word and it’s given me ptsd.
I seriously recommend the publisher do some changes before putting this out to the public…
The plot sounds cool but everything else was not good to me.
Several people get chosen to be on a show like Ghost Hunters. They got locked in a haunted hallway, which is already a “meh” setting, but they’re being filmed of their survival for one night where 20+ people have already been killed. You get a mediocre build up of tension from random sounds in the walls and footsteps but nobody is there. Then people start dying and there ends up being the same clue on all the bodies which already gives away the big reveal that I almost 100% figured out at about 75%. The “big” reveal happens and the book ends within 5 pages and even the ending was bad. The characters are very annoying. I don’t know if I can ever stand to hear the word “darling” ever again. There’s not one but TWO characters that constantly use the word and it’s given me ptsd.
I seriously recommend the publisher do some changes before putting this out to the public…
December 29, 2023
Gosh, writing that sort of review is something that I really, really, really don´t like. So trying to be polite and respectful let me just say four things here:
- a great idea for a horror book,
- dialogue based book is somehow a no-no, for many reasons,
- nothing happens for a long time,
- the characters are arguing with each other ALL THE TIME and are impossible to like let alone to relate to.
Ok, done. Off the chest.
- a great idea for a horror book,
- dialogue based book is somehow a no-no, for many reasons,
- nothing happens for a long time,
- the characters are arguing with each other ALL THE TIME and are impossible to like let alone to relate to.
Ok, done. Off the chest.
January 4, 2024
Take the rural Stonehaven Town Hall or “The Most Haunted Hall in England” as the locals call it, hoping for an increase in tourists. Add June and Leslie, producer and medium, of the failing reality TV show Spooky Times. And finally mix in four D list celebrities: Toby Marsh, a second rate comedian with health problems, Indira Singh, once a star chef, Diana Hunt, an actor looking for publicity and better roles, and finally Alistair Kincaid, an Anglican Bishop and frequent guest on morning TV. The plan for the show is to lock them all in the Town Hall overnight, film their stay on live TV and see who makes it through, sane and alive, to morning. Nothing goes according to the “plan”. There are surprise power outages, strange noises, missing possessions, more noises, confessions and death. Alistair and Diana stay together while trying to discover whether the killer they seek is human…or not.
Spooky Time is fun and not totally frightening. It doesn’t need to be. Talented author Simon R. Green has given us memorable characters, especially Bishop Alistair and his partner Diana, and bad behavior by both humans and spirits. While most of the group focuses on the spirit world, Alistair has other ideas. I hope this is the start of a new series. I can’t wait for what comes next. 5 stars.
Thank you to NetGalley, Severn House and Simon R. Green for this ARC.
Spooky Time is fun and not totally frightening. It doesn’t need to be. Talented author Simon R. Green has given us memorable characters, especially Bishop Alistair and his partner Diana, and bad behavior by both humans and spirits. While most of the group focuses on the spirit world, Alistair has other ideas. I hope this is the start of a new series. I can’t wait for what comes next. 5 stars.
Thank you to NetGalley, Severn House and Simon R. Green for this ARC.
January 9, 2024
3.5 stars
Well, I thought this was a quick and solid read.
It's certainly quirky. But one of the things I liked most about this, apart from giving us the television producer from hell, is that it injects so much doubt into the story. Are the events real or not? That had me intrigued for the entire read. I don't want to give the reveal away here, but I was on the fence about what was going on for entire ride.
Reading this book actually felt like I was watching a reality ghost hunting episode on TV. So huge praise for making the book feel that real. I liked that the author didn't back down from thumping home the tricks used in producing some of those programs, and I enjoyed the banter between the characters when discussing the many tricks. The characters in this book are loud and very much larger than life. Even the more sedate character, such as Alistair. For me, the characters felt real. They were written very well to match who they represented in the book, and they were consistent.
If this is the first book in a series, I'm not sure I can see the clear direction for the second book, but I'm hoping there is a second book. I think there is some unfinished business and the possibility for more interesting shenanigans.
Thank you to the author, the publisher, and Netgalley for providing a free copy of this book for an honest review. All comments are my own.
Well, I thought this was a quick and solid read.
It's certainly quirky. But one of the things I liked most about this, apart from giving us the television producer from hell, is that it injects so much doubt into the story. Are the events real or not? That had me intrigued for the entire read. I don't want to give the reveal away here, but I was on the fence about what was going on for entire ride.
Reading this book actually felt like I was watching a reality ghost hunting episode on TV. So huge praise for making the book feel that real. I liked that the author didn't back down from thumping home the tricks used in producing some of those programs, and I enjoyed the banter between the characters when discussing the many tricks. The characters in this book are loud and very much larger than life. Even the more sedate character, such as Alistair. For me, the characters felt real. They were written very well to match who they represented in the book, and they were consistent.
If this is the first book in a series, I'm not sure I can see the clear direction for the second book, but I'm hoping there is a second book. I think there is some unfinished business and the possibility for more interesting shenanigans.
Thank you to the author, the publisher, and Netgalley for providing a free copy of this book for an honest review. All comments are my own.
February 10, 2024
2.5*
Simon R. Green is one of my favourite authors and it pains me to give a book of his such a low rating but here we are.
6 people locked overnight in a haunted town hall for a reality tv live stream. And someone dies. What’s not to like, right? The premise makes you expect chills and spooky stuff. Aaaand there is none of that. The book is told in a constant stream of dialogue, we are never shown anything, only told. It lacked Green’s usual charm and felt like someone else wrote it trying to imitate his style and failing at it.
This is supposed to be the beginning of a new series apparently and I don’t understand how that’s going to work. If the cases are going to be about supernatural stuff then it would be too much like his Ishmael Jones series, only much worse.
Simon R. Green is one of my favourite authors and it pains me to give a book of his such a low rating but here we are.
6 people locked overnight in a haunted town hall for a reality tv live stream. And someone dies. What’s not to like, right? The premise makes you expect chills and spooky stuff. Aaaand there is none of that. The book is told in a constant stream of dialogue, we are never shown anything, only told. It lacked Green’s usual charm and felt like someone else wrote it trying to imitate his style and failing at it.
This is supposed to be the beginning of a new series apparently and I don’t understand how that’s going to work. If the cases are going to be about supernatural stuff then it would be too much like his Ishmael Jones series, only much worse.
February 15, 2024
I received an advance review copy of this book from Netgalley and the publisher, and am leaving this review voluntarily.
First off, the premise for The Holy Terrors was good, and on paper, I should have loved it. Instead, I just didn't. The relationships between the characters felt forced and were unbelievable. They knew each other for maybe 8 hours or so and acted as if at least months had passed in that time. This book is 192 pages long and 85% of it was dialogue that felt like it had been reused every 15-20 pages. As a result, this story felt overlong. I feel that the story could have been heavily cut and made into a 50-60 page novella and would have been more impactful. It's going to be 1.5 stars from me.
First off, the premise for The Holy Terrors was good, and on paper, I should have loved it. Instead, I just didn't. The relationships between the characters felt forced and were unbelievable. They knew each other for maybe 8 hours or so and acted as if at least months had passed in that time. This book is 192 pages long and 85% of it was dialogue that felt like it had been reused every 15-20 pages. As a result, this story felt overlong. I feel that the story could have been heavily cut and made into a 50-60 page novella and would have been more impactful. It's going to be 1.5 stars from me.
December 9, 2023
This is not my favourite Simon Green novels, there were a couple of moments when I was woundering "What would Ishmael do?"
If this is the beginning of a new series there's a lot of potential, I had fun in reading the banters and the characters.
The problem is that it took a long time before something serious happened and it was a bit anticlimax.
I had fun, I'd like to read another book featuring some of these characters.
It can be appreciated if love this author.
Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine
If this is the beginning of a new series there's a lot of potential, I had fun in reading the banters and the characters.
The problem is that it took a long time before something serious happened and it was a bit anticlimax.
I had fun, I'd like to read another book featuring some of these characters.
It can be appreciated if love this author.
Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine
February 7, 2024
February 6th, 2024:
Actually literally might be the worst book I'll read all year. This was so bad it's actually disrespectful. Disrespectful to me for being a waste of my time, but even worse it's disrespectful to its own characters.
First, it doesn't bother to give them traits or development; instead, it hangs a sign that says "Desperate Wannabe" over each of their heads and deems that enough. I recognized right away that they were set up to be cannon fodder and nothing more. A washed-up actress, a washed-up comedian, a D-list celebrity chef, and a D-list celebrity priest(??), plus the bickering cohosts of a shitty, failing reality show for which none of these people feel anything but unilateral contempt. It's so mean-spirited and loveless. This doesn't even seem like it was fun to write; it certainly was never fun to read.
Second, and even weirder, it treats the 4 contestant characters as an emotional monolith. It's so bizarre; all 4 have the same feelings & beliefs at once, but those beliefs keep changing. They each go on about how they don't believe in ghosts, but next thing you know they're all worried the ghosts might "get" them. All four. They get scared as a unit; they get angry at the producers as a unit; they get suspicious as a unit; they become credulous as a unit. WHY! Why even have 4 characters if they're so interchangeable?
Despite having no personalities and all apparently being the same person, the characters are introduced again and again and again, for some reason. When they all meet at the beginning, it's made very clear in a normal organic way who they all are, what their occupation is, how their career is going (not great), and why they're here (see previous). But then they all talk about those things again. And they make references to their jobs constantly--the comedian & the actress in particular won't shut up about being onstage!!!! They talk openly about how much the show sucks but that they need the money & exposure. Then they all sit in a circle and tell each other why they're there. Then, about a page later, the producer throws their declining careers and their reasons for signing up into their faces and they all act shy & awkward about it like it was dirty laundry nobody knew. You just told them! It's not dirty laundry, it's clean and it's already on the clothesline!! It never lets up. That god damn actress was still saying "I'm an actress, darling" til the very last chapter. Just in case you forgot. You know, the only thing there is to know about this character. Is that she's an actress. Did you forget she's an actress?
Speaking of saying "darling," that's her only other identifiable characteristic. She says "darling" or occasionally "dear" in every line of dialogue. (Again, to remind you that she's an aging actress. In case you forgot.) But lo and behold, 3/4 of the way through the book, another character starts calling everyone "darling" out of the blue. Not as a jab to the actress (remember? She's an actress), she just starts saying it, and not just once either. The first time it happened, I thought I had read it wrong and had to restart the paragraph a couple times just to make sure. But nope, that vocal tic is just contagious I guess because they both keep it through the rest of the book. Cause these characters had sooooo many traits it must have been so hard to keep them all straight. 🙄
The ending was the only part that wasn't absolutely terrible but it was far, far too late to save it. I have nothing but disdain for this book that has nothing but disdain for itself. Pitiful and joyless.
1/10
#WhatsKenyaReading
Actually literally might be the worst book I'll read all year. This was so bad it's actually disrespectful. Disrespectful to me for being a waste of my time, but even worse it's disrespectful to its own characters.
First, it doesn't bother to give them traits or development; instead, it hangs a sign that says "Desperate Wannabe" over each of their heads and deems that enough. I recognized right away that they were set up to be cannon fodder and nothing more. A washed-up actress, a washed-up comedian, a D-list celebrity chef, and a D-list celebrity priest(??), plus the bickering cohosts of a shitty, failing reality show for which none of these people feel anything but unilateral contempt. It's so mean-spirited and loveless. This doesn't even seem like it was fun to write; it certainly was never fun to read.
Second, and even weirder, it treats the 4 contestant characters as an emotional monolith. It's so bizarre; all 4 have the same feelings & beliefs at once, but those beliefs keep changing. They each go on about how they don't believe in ghosts, but next thing you know they're all worried the ghosts might "get" them. All four. They get scared as a unit; they get angry at the producers as a unit; they get suspicious as a unit; they become credulous as a unit. WHY! Why even have 4 characters if they're so interchangeable?
Despite having no personalities and all apparently being the same person, the characters are introduced again and again and again, for some reason. When they all meet at the beginning, it's made very clear in a normal organic way who they all are, what their occupation is, how their career is going (not great), and why they're here (see previous). But then they all talk about those things again. And they make references to their jobs constantly--the comedian & the actress in particular won't shut up about being onstage!!!! They talk openly about how much the show sucks but that they need the money & exposure. Then they all sit in a circle and tell each other why they're there. Then, about a page later, the producer throws their declining careers and their reasons for signing up into their faces and they all act shy & awkward about it like it was dirty laundry nobody knew. You just told them! It's not dirty laundry, it's clean and it's already on the clothesline!! It never lets up. That god damn actress was still saying "I'm an actress, darling" til the very last chapter. Just in case you forgot. You know, the only thing there is to know about this character. Is that she's an actress. Did you forget she's an actress?
Speaking of saying "darling," that's her only other identifiable characteristic. She says "darling" or occasionally "dear" in every line of dialogue. (Again, to remind you that she's an aging actress. In case you forgot.) But lo and behold, 3/4 of the way through the book, another character starts calling everyone "darling" out of the blue. Not as a jab to the actress (remember? She's an actress), she just starts saying it, and not just once either. The first time it happened, I thought I had read it wrong and had to restart the paragraph a couple times just to make sure. But nope, that vocal tic is just contagious I guess because they both keep it through the rest of the book. Cause these characters had sooooo many traits it must have been so hard to keep them all straight. 🙄
The ending was the only part that wasn't absolutely terrible but it was far, far too late to save it. I have nothing but disdain for this book that has nothing but disdain for itself. Pitiful and joyless.
1/10
#WhatsKenyaReading
February 1, 2024
Spooky Time!, a tv ghost-hunting show, is doing a special live episode in the hopes of boosting the ratings and saving the show. June, host and producer, along with her "pet psychic" Leslie have invited four seemingly random "celebrities" to exploit for the peoples' entertainment. Included in the show's line-up is Diana, star of stage and screen who is starting to get desperate for work as she does what all of us must - age; Alistair, the Bishop from a very bad section of London who makes the rounds on morning talk shows at the behest of his superiors; Toby, a comedian attempting to boost his club bookings after his latest heart attack; and Indira, a celebrity chef who won a tv cooking contest and needed to promote her newest book before she falls into obscurity. And the place? "[T]he must haunted hall in England, and that is officially certified, by Guinness," at least according to June. Officially, it is just a town hall in the middle of nowhere.
Things start to go wrong immediately - equipment missing, cell phone service gone, electricity sketchy. It seems easy to write it off as the show's schtick until one of the guests is found dead. Is there a murderer in their midst or is the hall truly haunted with ghosts bent on revenge?
I really wanted to like this and it is normally something totally up my alley, but it really fell flat for me. All the arguing, lots of nothing happening, and even I had a hard time suspending my belief that anything but normal ghost show crap was taking place. I had hopes for more, but alas, here we are.
Things start to go wrong immediately - equipment missing, cell phone service gone, electricity sketchy. It seems easy to write it off as the show's schtick until one of the guests is found dead. Is there a murderer in their midst or is the hall truly haunted with ghosts bent on revenge?
I really wanted to like this and it is normally something totally up my alley, but it really fell flat for me. All the arguing, lots of nothing happening, and even I had a hard time suspending my belief that anything but normal ghost show crap was taking place. I had hopes for more, but alas, here we are.
October 17, 2023
I was excited to jump into this with what seemed like such a creepy premise. Then as I slowly forced myself to just keep reading that excitement sadly died down. This did not have a lot of substance. As a reader, I like to be in the mind of the characters in a book to get to know them. Unfortunately this did not happen as there was barely any inner dialogue whatsoever. There was also no character development going on and I never really ended up caring for any of the characters or the plot itself. I hate giving negative reviews so I will leave it at that. Two Stars.
Thank you Netgalley and Severn House for this ARC.
Thank you Netgalley and Severn House for this ARC.
March 3, 2024
This would have made a great play, not such a great book.
So much dialogue, so, so much.
There’s an obvious Chekhov’s Gun in the story which gives away the ending around 2/3 into the book.
There were a few genuinely scary bits, just not enough. On the other hand, prepare for all the adverbs.
The edition I read (hardcover) was hard on the eyes because there was little white space on the page, hardly any section breaks to mix it up.
I had hoped for more after seeing the quote “The story here… is so strong.” Left me wanting for more Spooky Time.
So much dialogue, so, so much.
There’s an obvious Chekhov’s Gun in the story which gives away the ending around 2/3 into the book.
There were a few genuinely scary bits, just not enough. On the other hand, prepare for all the adverbs.
The edition I read (hardcover) was hard on the eyes because there was little white space on the page, hardly any section breaks to mix it up.
I had hoped for more after seeing the quote “The story here… is so strong.” Left me wanting for more Spooky Time.
December 14, 2023
What happens when a group of C-list celebrities get put together on a ghost hunting show? Reality gone wrong. When multiple of the personalities pass away during the lock down, a darker force is at play amongst the stars.
This concept was so promising, but I wish there was a bigger punch with the ending. It fell flat.
This concept was so promising, but I wish there was a bigger punch with the ending. It fell flat.
May 20, 2024
I am a skeptic when it comes to mediums and reality TV Shows. Some celebrity's were hired to participate in a TV Show called "Spooky Time." They all gathered at the notoriously known haunted Stonehaven Hall in Britain.
Unbeknownst to the participants, however, actual murders will occur. And all the while the participants assume that it is all part of the show.
To this reader I thought the characters were not believable in their roles, and the entire plot was just too fanciful to capture my imagination.
Unbeknownst to the participants, however, actual murders will occur. And all the while the participants assume that it is all part of the show.
To this reader I thought the characters were not believable in their roles, and the entire plot was just too fanciful to capture my imagination.
June 3, 2024
Quite enjoyable. I would read something by Simon again.
Read
September 12, 2024DNF
October 30, 2024
I really enjoyed this as a little short story. Ended up finishing it in one sitting.
February 18, 2024
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC of this book. When I saw it was a locked room murder mystery I was pretty sold on seeing what it was all about. I love stories like this. This one was a fast paced and easy read. The characters were pretty interesting, and I was hooked.
March 30, 2025
This feels like it was originally written for other Green characters but they have moved beyond such a premises. So "new" characters get smushed in and have lots of bickering commentary that is supposed to build report but instead feels fake and hand wavey.
Lots of dialogue feels recycled from older works by Green leaving the "mystery" blatant to answer.
The reveal feels like we hit our obligatory page count and just finishes giving a lack laster I knew all along but couldn't confirm bs.
Also the characters are extremely two dimensional failing hugely at the one thing I love about his writing.
Lots of dialogue feels recycled from older works by Green leaving the "mystery" blatant to answer.
The reveal feels like we hit our obligatory page count and just finishes giving a lack laster I knew all along but couldn't confirm bs.
Also the characters are extremely two dimensional failing hugely at the one thing I love about his writing.
August 31, 2025
So I have this thing with ‘team locked in a haunted house’ stories that I call the Hell House test. Hell House is an incredibly silly seventies sleaze horror novel about a team of psychic researchers trapped in an evil house, being bedevilled by ghosts preying on their deepest psychosexual fears, imprisoning them in slime traps, killing them via Penis-Christ, and then the villain turns out to be short man syndrome. It’s ridiculous. It’s deeply sleazy in a B-movie nonsense way. The best way to describe it is ‘a lot.’ I’ve also realised that it’s my platonic ideal of a ‘team trapped in a haunted house’ novel, because almost every time I read these things, I go ‘this is like Hell House of Hell House was bad in a deeply unentertaining way’ or ‘this is Hell House if no one was horny and everything was boring’. Because for all that the aforementioned novel is ridiculous and aggressively seventies schlock, it also knows what it is, and what it is attempting to be, and what it’s attempting to be is a really damn entertaining haunted house story with characters you care deeply about and an oppressive, menacing atmosphere where the location is itself a character, and for all their know-how, the characters are still adrift in the face of the menacing supernatural. And it succeeds.
The Holy Terrors does not. It’s almost entirely dialogue, and there’s absolutely no sense of place, even in a genre that lives and dies by atmosphere. This could have been taking place in an abandoned McDonald’s for all the setting actually matters to the plot. I get that it’s (spoilers) a plain old locked room mystery, but it’s clearly indebted more to the horror genre than the locked room mystery in its trappings, and you get no sense of the hall as its own entity. Also, the characters are utterly dreadful. Each of them has two traits, and those are all that defines them. I didn’t care about a single one. So all in all, it fails the Hell House test miserably, and I regret the afternoon I wasted on it.
Don’t read this. But if you do, at least it’s short.
The Holy Terrors does not. It’s almost entirely dialogue, and there’s absolutely no sense of place, even in a genre that lives and dies by atmosphere. This could have been taking place in an abandoned McDonald’s for all the setting actually matters to the plot. I get that it’s (spoilers) a plain old locked room mystery, but it’s clearly indebted more to the horror genre than the locked room mystery in its trappings, and you get no sense of the hall as its own entity. Also, the characters are utterly dreadful. Each of them has two traits, and those are all that defines them. I didn’t care about a single one. So all in all, it fails the Hell House test miserably, and I regret the afternoon I wasted on it.
Don’t read this. But if you do, at least it’s short.
February 12, 2024
Originally posted on the book blog Creature From the Book Lagoon.
Thank you Netgalley and Severn House for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I’ve read many books by Simon R. Green. I hate to say it, but this might be his worst? D: I feel so bad saying that but it is true… This book was a mess!
Where do I even begin?
My biggest problem with The Holy Terror is that it’s so………….. BORING. D: Lots of not much happening a majority of the time. It’s mostly just the characters being passive aggressive or just straight up aggressive to each other. This leads me to my second biggest complaint… When things finally do begin to happen, it feels so similar to Simon’s other books! It’s “classic” Simon R. Green, but that is part of the problem. The similarities made the plot feel so stale. Green feels like he’s coasting… Freshen up his writing. Give us something totally new, man!
It wasn’t just the plot of The Holy Terror that felt so stale. It is the characters as well. :/ The characters felt so flat!! When the two (new) main characters talked, it just felt like I’ve seen them before, in past series by Green. They even talked like characters from those past books! Felt so been there, done that. Maybe if the characters had been freshend up, new feeling and given more depth, this could have been a better book….?
Another problem with this book, well, it suffers from just straight up odd choices! For example, the plot takes place within a few hours, yet somehow one of the characters felt such a connection to another character, she felt like the child he never had. Wha-? :/ Kinda fast, eh? A different example, nothing ever felt scary /tense/ supernatural becasue the author chose to have the main PoV from the Bishop, who never bought into the supernatural side of this who dun it….. It totally negated all the other characters- and the location- trying to set the stage and atmosphere to spooky supernatural vibe. Why? It made me feel like if the main character isn’t taking the supernatural stuff seriously, never should I. Like, if he doesn’t ever believe in the psychic, why should I believe the psychic when he gave out trance like warnings. See what I mean? It took away all suspense or tension and made things feel too predictable.
Simon can be a great author, but he seriously needs to re-vamp his writing a little bit. Not everything needs to be so the same. It makes a really cool premise turn boring real fast. Green feels like he is being a safe Sally on autopilot. That sucks. You are better than that, Mr. Green.
I would not recommend this book.
Thank you Netgalley and Severn House for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I’ve read many books by Simon R. Green. I hate to say it, but this might be his worst? D: I feel so bad saying that but it is true… This book was a mess!
Where do I even begin?
My biggest problem with The Holy Terror is that it’s so………….. BORING. D: Lots of not much happening a majority of the time. It’s mostly just the characters being passive aggressive or just straight up aggressive to each other. This leads me to my second biggest complaint… When things finally do begin to happen, it feels so similar to Simon’s other books! It’s “classic” Simon R. Green, but that is part of the problem. The similarities made the plot feel so stale. Green feels like he’s coasting… Freshen up his writing. Give us something totally new, man!
It wasn’t just the plot of The Holy Terror that felt so stale. It is the characters as well. :/ The characters felt so flat!! When the two (new) main characters talked, it just felt like I’ve seen them before, in past series by Green. They even talked like characters from those past books! Felt so been there, done that. Maybe if the characters had been freshend up, new feeling and given more depth, this could have been a better book….?
Another problem with this book, well, it suffers from just straight up odd choices! For example, the plot takes place within a few hours, yet somehow one of the characters felt such a connection to another character, she felt like the child he never had. Wha-? :/ Kinda fast, eh? A different example, nothing ever felt scary /tense/ supernatural becasue the author chose to have the main PoV from the Bishop, who never bought into the supernatural side of this who dun it….. It totally negated all the other characters- and the location- trying to set the stage and atmosphere to spooky supernatural vibe. Why? It made me feel like if the main character isn’t taking the supernatural stuff seriously, never should I. Like, if he doesn’t ever believe in the psychic, why should I believe the psychic when he gave out trance like warnings. See what I mean? It took away all suspense or tension and made things feel too predictable.
Simon can be a great author, but he seriously needs to re-vamp his writing a little bit. Not everything needs to be so the same. It makes a really cool premise turn boring real fast. Green feels like he is being a safe Sally on autopilot. That sucks. You are better than that, Mr. Green.
I would not recommend this book.
November 26, 2023
When the has been actress Diane and the Priest Alastair showed up to Stonehaven Townhall to do The Spooky Time show they were the first two there which was a good thing for Alastair because Diane gave him the rundown on the phone he haunted house show. The show invited for well-known personalities to I’ve already mentioned and the other two or a comedian named Toby and a popular game show chef name Indina rounding up the group would be the “psychic“ Leslie in the shows host and producer June. June is ruthless and only cares about the shows the success they will all be locked in Stonehaven town hall for the night and although Alastair initially thinks the show is phoning something June and Leslie know for certain, but the ramifications of their being locked in the hall will be far from imaginary. It seems as far as the contestants go everyone has picked their person and asked for the rest they seem to not get along with them well everyone except for Alastair he is like the father trying to keep all the kids in line including the host. June wants everyone to play it up and pretend to hear stuff and wants the others to go along with it but when they really do hear footsteps and one of them really does die it all becomes way too real. I don’t know if it was intentional but they had some very funny things in the sport and it’s British humor something iPhone so hilarious but they do have some scary moments in the book all in all it was a really great book I enjoyed it thoroughly read it in one setting it isn’t that long and it’s truly an enjoyable read it is a horror story with the locked in the house trope with over the top personalities and I thoroughly enjoyed it and highly highly recommend it. this is the first book I have read by Simon or green but I will not be the last. I want to thank the author the publisher and NetGalley for my free arc copy please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.
February 9, 2024
Four strangers locked in a haunted building overnight with two TV “personalities”, their every action and emotion covered by hidden cameras, all in pursuit of a payday that’s not going to be nearly as generous as their agents led them to expect.
Sounds like the perfect setup for a “Reality TV” program. Or a joke. Or, in this particular case, a joke of a reality TV show that is desperate to recapture the market share it lost much longer ago than its presenter is willing to admit. Or allow.
Put another way, a has-been comedian, a wannabe almost-celebrity chef, an outspoken bishop and an actress whose career isn’t what it used to be, walk into a haunted town hall to film an episode of ‘Spooky Time!’ with its resident medium AND its indefatigable host.
There should be a punchline coming for that joke. And there certainly is for at least some of the participants. At least for the ones that survive the night.
Anyone who has any illusions left about the exact amount of ‘reality’ present in a so-called reality TV show needs to check those illusions before the first page – because they’ll all be spoiled although the plot of the book certainly is not.
From the moment the time-locks ominously click shut and the lights start to go out, it’s clear to the participants that something has gone even wronger than they expected after seeing the dilapidated state of the place they’re supposed to be spending the night. But in the gloomy, shadowed and downright spooky atmosphere, it’s all too easy to chalk up their fears to the idea that something supernatural might be stalking their number.
But as the Bishop says to the Actress, that doesn’t add up. It’s clear, at least to him, that they are being led astray by their own guilts and fears. And even though there is an entirely different sort of ‘leading astray’ that the Actress would prefer to do to the Bishop, she’s willing to trust him to see her through this long and particularly dark night.
Escape Rating B-: I ended up with a LOT of mixed feelings about this one, some of which may have to do with having no love or even liking for so-called reality TV. (Although, honestly, if the author has any love for that genre it’s a particularly twisted version of it.)
It’s clear from the outset that all of the so-called ‘supernatural’ events are planned and prepared, that the show is on its last legs and the guests were chosen for their gullibility, their expendability, or both. And because they were relatively cheap – just like the all-night rental of the supposed ‘Most Haunted Hall in England.’
Particularly as, in spite of all the horror implications of the blurb and the Goodreads genre assignment, the title of the series to follow has it right, The Holy Terrors is a mystery and not horror at all.
Which means that the reader’s enjoyment of and/or absorption in this story relies on either getting caught up in the mystery or being charmed by its characters – many of whom are not charming at all.
Although the Bishop and the Actress certainly are, and their increasing charm with each other does help carry readers along. Which is a good thing, because ‘whodunnit’ was obvious long before the big reveal – complete with a bit of good old-fashioned villain monologuing – at the end.
As the first book in a series that looks like it will follow the adventures of the Bishop and the Actress as they have more mysterious and possibly spooky adventures, there’s a fair amount of heavy lifting to be done that doesn’t feel like it’s completely done by the book’s end.
Because I’m not totally sure what the newly christened “Holy Terrors” will actually be doing in their future adventures – beyond that they’ll be doing them together. It’s not clear even at the end of this book and I’ve been guessing throughout.
Not that I won’t ‘tune back in’ to find out when the next book appears. I just hope it’s a bit more clear by then AND that it doesn’t sidle quite so close to the territory the author has already occupied by Ishmael Jones and his partner Penny Belcourt.
One final note to say thanks for the memories, the facepalm and the headslap – not necessarily in that order and definitely not as the Actress said to the Bishop – which is what all of the above are referencing.
This entire story – and quite possibly the series intended to follow – is part of a long-running British tradition of jokes and/or clichés (your mileage may vary on which they are) of double entendres that begin or end with “as the bishop said to the actress” or the other way around. Phrases that take on a sexual overtone, undertone, or alternate meaning by adding that phrase that either way is roughly equivalent to a joke ending, “that’s what she (or he) said”.
It niggled at me through the whole book as something familiar, but I was caught up just enough in the mystery at hand and the bell didn’t ring until AFTER I finished the book. Because that phrase, in popular parlance in British in the 1930s, was one that Simon Templar, The Saint, used frequently and often in the original books by Leslie Charteris – of which I read as many as I could find back in the dark ages after seeing bits of the TV series starring Roger Moore in syndication way back when.
I don’t remember that phrase from the TV series, but in the books, Templar used it frequently, often and as intended. Honestly, I’m not even sure I was quite old enough to get the double entendres at the time I read the books, but the whole thing stuck in my memory and thereby hangs that facepalm and headslap.
Because if this series continues, the whole entire thing has the potential to be a series of investigations where the Bishop and the Actress are going to have a LOT to say to each other. And quite possibly do with and to each other between solving mysteries.
Originally published at Reading Reality
Sounds like the perfect setup for a “Reality TV” program. Or a joke. Or, in this particular case, a joke of a reality TV show that is desperate to recapture the market share it lost much longer ago than its presenter is willing to admit. Or allow.
Put another way, a has-been comedian, a wannabe almost-celebrity chef, an outspoken bishop and an actress whose career isn’t what it used to be, walk into a haunted town hall to film an episode of ‘Spooky Time!’ with its resident medium AND its indefatigable host.
There should be a punchline coming for that joke. And there certainly is for at least some of the participants. At least for the ones that survive the night.
Anyone who has any illusions left about the exact amount of ‘reality’ present in a so-called reality TV show needs to check those illusions before the first page – because they’ll all be spoiled although the plot of the book certainly is not.
From the moment the time-locks ominously click shut and the lights start to go out, it’s clear to the participants that something has gone even wronger than they expected after seeing the dilapidated state of the place they’re supposed to be spending the night. But in the gloomy, shadowed and downright spooky atmosphere, it’s all too easy to chalk up their fears to the idea that something supernatural might be stalking their number.
But as the Bishop says to the Actress, that doesn’t add up. It’s clear, at least to him, that they are being led astray by their own guilts and fears. And even though there is an entirely different sort of ‘leading astray’ that the Actress would prefer to do to the Bishop, she’s willing to trust him to see her through this long and particularly dark night.
Escape Rating B-: I ended up with a LOT of mixed feelings about this one, some of which may have to do with having no love or even liking for so-called reality TV. (Although, honestly, if the author has any love for that genre it’s a particularly twisted version of it.)
It’s clear from the outset that all of the so-called ‘supernatural’ events are planned and prepared, that the show is on its last legs and the guests were chosen for their gullibility, their expendability, or both. And because they were relatively cheap – just like the all-night rental of the supposed ‘Most Haunted Hall in England.’
Particularly as, in spite of all the horror implications of the blurb and the Goodreads genre assignment, the title of the series to follow has it right, The Holy Terrors is a mystery and not horror at all.
Which means that the reader’s enjoyment of and/or absorption in this story relies on either getting caught up in the mystery or being charmed by its characters – many of whom are not charming at all.
Although the Bishop and the Actress certainly are, and their increasing charm with each other does help carry readers along. Which is a good thing, because ‘whodunnit’ was obvious long before the big reveal – complete with a bit of good old-fashioned villain monologuing – at the end.
As the first book in a series that looks like it will follow the adventures of the Bishop and the Actress as they have more mysterious and possibly spooky adventures, there’s a fair amount of heavy lifting to be done that doesn’t feel like it’s completely done by the book’s end.
Because I’m not totally sure what the newly christened “Holy Terrors” will actually be doing in their future adventures – beyond that they’ll be doing them together. It’s not clear even at the end of this book and I’ve been guessing throughout.
Not that I won’t ‘tune back in’ to find out when the next book appears. I just hope it’s a bit more clear by then AND that it doesn’t sidle quite so close to the territory the author has already occupied by Ishmael Jones and his partner Penny Belcourt.
One final note to say thanks for the memories, the facepalm and the headslap – not necessarily in that order and definitely not as the Actress said to the Bishop – which is what all of the above are referencing.
This entire story – and quite possibly the series intended to follow – is part of a long-running British tradition of jokes and/or clichés (your mileage may vary on which they are) of double entendres that begin or end with “as the bishop said to the actress” or the other way around. Phrases that take on a sexual overtone, undertone, or alternate meaning by adding that phrase that either way is roughly equivalent to a joke ending, “that’s what she (or he) said”.
It niggled at me through the whole book as something familiar, but I was caught up just enough in the mystery at hand and the bell didn’t ring until AFTER I finished the book. Because that phrase, in popular parlance in British in the 1930s, was one that Simon Templar, The Saint, used frequently and often in the original books by Leslie Charteris – of which I read as many as I could find back in the dark ages after seeing bits of the TV series starring Roger Moore in syndication way back when.
I don’t remember that phrase from the TV series, but in the books, Templar used it frequently, often and as intended. Honestly, I’m not even sure I was quite old enough to get the double entendres at the time I read the books, but the whole thing stuck in my memory and thereby hangs that facepalm and headslap.
Because if this series continues, the whole entire thing has the potential to be a series of investigations where the Bishop and the Actress are going to have a LOT to say to each other. And quite possibly do with and to each other between solving mysteries.
Originally published at Reading Reality
August 21, 2025
Overall, I was a little disappointed with this one. From repetitive writing (staring and glaring were both used constantly it started to become a joke) to a shallow forced romance, and a lack of suspense or horror, I was pretty bored throughout the story. For a murder mystery, it was pretty slow.
Also, the phrase "pet medium" is now etched into my brain, unwillingly, due to the repetition.
I would have loved to see more of a variety in word choice from the author, well rounded characters, and a stronger focus on the atmosphere.
Also, the phrase "pet medium" is now etched into my brain, unwillingly, due to the repetition.
I would have loved to see more of a variety in word choice from the author, well rounded characters, and a stronger focus on the atmosphere.
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