Respect

by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot

Respect is a mission, a service, a "way to create symmetry, empathy, and connection"; it is self-generating, a "many-splendored quality" that can build relationships and self-esteem. It is, says author Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, much more than the "static and impersonal" term we often use to describe our deference to traditional hierarchies or symbols. Lawrence-Lightfoot, an award-winning professor at Harvard and the author of several important works of sociology, here observes six subjects known for the respect they bring to their work, inquiring into how this quality has been rooted in and affects each of their lives. From the pediatrician who "sees herself as a servant and helper" to the families she treats to the photographer who believes he can bring out the truth in his subjects only by first making himself vulnerable, the daily heroism of each subject is revealed under the author's warm, curious, respectful eye. Lawrence-Lightfoot even weaves into her inquiry the history of her own African American family and its struggles with gaining and keeping respect. This elegant and accessible book offers alternative models for students, professionals, parents--anyone, really--who would like to harness the healing, strengthening power of this old-fashioned, indispensable quality. --Maria Dolan

Genres: Nonfiction, Sociology, Family, Education

244 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot is an American sociologist who examines the culture of schools, the patterns and structures of classroom life, socialization within families and communities, and the relationships between culture and learning styles. She has been a professor at the Harvard Graduate School of Education since the 1970s.

Reviews

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was assigned for a feminist theory course I took a few years ago. It was removed from the syllabus late in the semester, but I still had a copy lying around, so I finally picked it up.

And I can firmly say that the quote on the back cover, the one that claims this book "reads like a novel," is wrong. This doesn't read like a novel. It has a very wooden, academic feel; disappointing because I think the subject is important. It would be nice if it were written in a more accessible manner.

Also, the author's incessant use of "partial quotes" makes it feel like she doesn't "trust her sources," or she is unwilling to articulate things "in her own words." Nearly every sentence has at least two or three partial quotes like that. What a slog.

But this book isn't without merit. I like that it's broken into six sections, each focusing on a different facet of respect (empowerment, healing, dialogue, curiosity, self-respect, attention), and a different person who embodies that facet. It's a worthwhile book for those who enjoy academic work that prioritizes depth over breadth and makes a thorough, sharply-focused study. And I understand the value of this particular area of study, since respect should be a fundamental part of all human interactions.

[Mark Fallon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful book. Dr. Lawrence-Lightfoot shares the stories of six people, and relates how they integrate respect in their personal and professional lives. They draw from their experiences as a nurse-midwife, a pediatrician, a teacher, a photographer, a law professor and minister-therapist who counsels people as they face death.

I was surprised how much this book made me reflect on my own life, and my own actions.

One for the bookcase. And the “re-read” list.

[Andrew R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Particularly enjoyed Chapter 5: Self-Respect.

[Mari Sample · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my, I loved this book. There is so much to say, so I will divide my review among the intangibles I got out of it and the practical, writing/book things I loved about it.

First, the mechanics: As an English and Sociology student, this book hit the sweet spot for me. I love to learn true stories about the incredible people the world and I appreciate good prose. Lawrence-Lightfoot accomplishes both. She is such an excellent storyteller, something that is rare and precious among the social sciences in my experience. She tells individuals's story with attention to their whole person, yet weaves their ideas together with the others in the collection to create cohesive themes. It's a masterfully constructed book with rich imagery and the right balance of showing and telling.

The intangible: Sometimes these kinds of unspeakably beautiful (almost surreal) portraits of well-lived lives are paralyzing to me--they are so achingly stunning that they feel unrelatable. I don't know where to go after reading because I feel that nothing in my life can be as beautiful or profound or impactful as the figures I've just read about. This is NOT the case in my experience of this book. The individuals are exemplary, of course, but they are not unlike many people I have gotten to know over the course of my life. I feel that I am seeing and appreciating respectful people more in my own life and considering how I can mimic the ways they show respect rather than simply admiring the people in this book and then moving on. Well done!

[Miguel Soto · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sentía que me tomó mucho tiempo terminar esta exploración de la condición humana, pero ahora que por fin lo terminé, creo que fue el tiempo necesario para asentar y digerir la lectura.

Cualquiera que esté interesado en las ciencias sociales, las "ciencias del hombre" o "del espíritu", se preguntará por aspectos centrales de la condición humana. Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, haciendo uso de su metodología del portraiture, explora el respeto. A través de seis personas retratadas, ilumina múltiples facetas del respeto, cada una encarnada en una de esas personas. La curiosidad, el empoderamiento, el auto-respeto, la atención, distintas caras que expresan un mismo fondo, la posibilidad de simetría e interacción humana, que no está librada de asperezas ni dificultades, sino que a través de ellas puede afinarse.

Un interesante puente entre las exploraciones académicas y las más íntimas, donde más que concluir, se te invita a adentrarte, recorrer tu propia trayectoria y encontrar, o seguir explorando.

[Zahnii (Suzanne) Artis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend recommended this book many years ago. Additionally, for someone significant in my life, “respect” was a mantra frequently used as a weapon of standards and accusation. I wanted to read this to prove that I wasn’t disrespectful and that her concept of respect was flawed or maybe to see if I was missing something. It was not what I expected but I feel like it was a deep gift and gave me appreciation for the ways that I practice respect and ways to grow.


Jennifer Dohrn - nurse-midwife South Bronx (Empowerment)

Johnye Ballenger - pediatrician- community health center Boston (Healing)

Kayla Cottle— secondary teacher in Boston (Dialogue)

Dawoud Bey - artist in residency at Andover outside of Boston (Curiosity)

David Wilkins - law professor at Harvard (Self -respect)

Bill Wallace - pastoral priest (Attention)

I didn’t notice until reviewing this book that the chapters mimic a human life cycle from birth to death. There was so much to appreciate about how Lawrence-Lightfoot weaves the life stories of six people into a tapestry of respect.

[Shirley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! So sorry that I did not discover her work earlier. While 20 years old, the book still communicates the varying dimensions of authentic respect by taking you through the lives and work of 6 individuals. The narrative is NOT academic, but accessible and engaging--I wanted to meet each of these people. A unique book providing a real sense of the sociological imagination--i.e., the cross-section of biography, society, and history--without directly labeling. A gift to read and listen.

[Gladys Schrynemakers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot weaves six narratives about how individuals lie a respect driven life. Interesting narratives, but I would have loved to read a chapter at the end integrating the lessons learned. Not her best work, but worth the read.

[Amal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very interesting. I started to see respect from different lenses after reading about the six windows on respect —empowerment, healing, dialogue, curiosity, self-respect, and attention. I made it very clear to myself that, leadership is more about respecting others, creating dialogue and sharing stories. Leadership is not always about holding a higher position than other or having the power over people.
I highly recommend this book!

[Roy Aiken · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot learned early from experience the meaning of respect. Her book, “Respect” is a series of stories about people she calls “practitioners of respect”. I love this phrase; it’s an elegant expression, elevating respect to the level of learned professionalism. Her insights come from hours of collaboration with and observations of these practitioners as they went about their daily activity, each one revealing different “dimensions of respect” that often go unnoticed.

Think of “learned professionalism” as the lawyer who learns how to practice law or the doctor who learns the practice of health care or the person who excels at being a motivational speaker. In these examples and many others they are regarded as professionals in their field. Likewise, we should consider respect as a learned skill; a behavior, that when steadily practiced becomes professionalized.

Dr. Lawrence-Lightfoot captures respectful behaviors with individual stories of two health-care providers, a school teacher, an artist-photographer, an Episcopal priest and a law school professor. Each story reveals a dimension of respect through either: empowerment; healing; dialogue; curiosity; self-respect or attention.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of meaningful profiles of folks in different professions incorporating such a basic concept of respect into their dealings with their students, clients, and patients. It's not about condescension. It's about empowering people by allowing your sense of their great value and inherent worth to be evident to them. Of course, this assumes you have a genuine sense of the inherent worth of other people, even those who may be very different or who may come from circumstances seemingly "below" your own. I was both encouraged and challenged by this book.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compelling study of people who have made respect a verb. The author explores the lives and habits of people who strive to treat all humans with respect - in their professional capacity as well as personal. Compassion, conscious listening, going the extra mile for someone in need, and fighting for what is right are some of the qualities these people exemplify. A thought provoking read that leads one to self-evaluation.

[Bianca · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was given to m eby my principal, and I thought it was necessary to read it quickly, to avoid being the slacker staff member who blew it off over the summer. It was a good book, even though I usually shy away from inspirational / self-help books. It reads like a collection of short stories--which it is. Stories about ordinary people doing extraordinary things in jobs that most shy away from. Great for doctors, caregivers, teachers, artists!

[Bernadette · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book documents individuals who have jobs that have a very traditional power relationships associated with them; however, these individuals have restructured such dynamics and relay the ultimate respect to their counterparts. It's a good read for anyone who may feel awkward entering such power structures in their work.

[Rich · Rating 4 out of 5]

She has curated a great number of stories about people whose stories were meant to be told. Well delivered. She's a fine story teller. Having seen her speak it gave me the ability to hear her voice as I read these words on the pages. I'm not sure, but I believe it added an element of finesse to the book that I might not have experienced otherwise.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written by a woman who understands the universal need for respect in a world where women and children are often not respected. I don't agree with everything, but her ideas are refreshing food for thought.

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Portraits of people who have incorporated respect into their professions and personalities. I know, "So what?". But the work is terrifically inspiring and serves as a reminder to re-ignite respectfulness at a time when it is lacking so profoundly in our world.

[Jonathan Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An extraordinary book. Professor Lawrence-Lightfoot has a great deal to teach about dignity and human relations. She possesses a capacity to facilitate other's storytelling to a super-human degree. She can then take their stories and shape them into narratives that speak to universal truths.

[Shelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like this book. The different forms of respect were very well shown and several of the people focused on reminded me of some of my favorite teachers who shared those qualities. I would highly recommend this book to anyone

[Marni · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful set of interviews/stories with 6 people (nurse-midwife, pediatrician,middle/high-school teacher,photographer, law professor, priest) and how they show respect to others, request respect, learn to respect themselves. Wonderful writing about 6 amazing people.

[Laurie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh good lord. The doorstop!

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good. Inspiring!

[Ruth B · Rating 5 out of 5]

this broad is a national treasure.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love Jennifer Dohrn!!!

[Maggie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started but not finished. Good.

[Ana Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Seeing respect through different lenses and what it means to give and receive respect.

[Tracy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book. I particularly enjoyed the first two chapters.

[Leah · Rating 2 out of 5]

UW Common book for the 2012-2013 academic year

[Roberta Curry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Important book for anyone providing services to the public. The writing is beautiful creating gentle and insightful descriptions of how we live and give.

[Cyrus Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I accord Dr. Lawrence-Lightfoot great respect; she has written 6 short stories, each well told, in which the protagonists have activated the word "respect". Inspiring.