Not One of the Boys: Living Life as a Feminist

by Brenda Feigen

From an outspoken feminist, a leader of the Women's Movement in the 1960s and '70s--a candid, wide-ranging and deeply personal memoir that is, as well, an illuminating historical document of a time and a fight for profound societal change.

Brenda Feigen has lived many lifetimes within one--lawyer, wife and mother, civil rights activist, politician, Hollywood movie producer--and in each she has faced down the specter of discrimination against women. She describes how at Harvard Law School she fought to change blatantly sexist practices such as Ladies' Days and law-firm interviewing processes; how she waged battles for women as National Vice President of NOW; how, with Gloria Steinem, she founded Ms. and cofounded the National Women's Political Caucus in the early 1970s; how she became director with Ruth Bader Ginsburg of the ACLU's Women's Rights Project in 1972; and how, in Hollywood, she met obstacles at every turn while fighting for movies with strong, positive roles for women. She describes, as well, the struggles and triumphs of her private her marriage (she and her husband were once considered "the perfect feminist couple"); being a (feminist) mother; her relationships with women; her breast cancer. Finally, she chronicles recent advances and losses in the Women's Movement, making clear how far women have come, and how far they have yet to go.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Feminism

335 pages, Hardcover

First published September 12, 2000

Reviews

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

I rarely give such a low score to a book. To give it to a feminist book is disheartening. To her credit, Feigen is an important figure in feminist legal history I had not heard of and whose work deserves its due. I found many of her early chapters very informative on feminist history and her assertions about the women's movement needing to treat breast cancer the way ACT UP had treated AIDS a frank revelation. However, I had a number of problems with this book.

1) I first began to question the book when, about 50% of the way through, I found a segment of what I perceive to be some very problematic trans-exclusive rhetoric. I cannot discern how intentional this rhetoric was, but I sensed intent and there was no growth in future chapters on the issue.

2) I don't think Feigen deals well with her privilege. In several instances, I got the sense that her positions stem from a lifetime in the upper-middle-class as a white woman. Her father was a lawyer, she was able to attend ivy league schools, and Feigen became a lawyer and married one herself. The transitions Feigen made in her life, while certainly momentous, lacked the grit and difficulty of someone who struggled, as if her privilege made it easy for her to jump jobs from law firm to independent lawyer to a producer, etc. Perhaps this is a failure of writing and not of character/reflexivity, but within the context of the book, this is present.

3) I found Feigen's view of feminism to be essentializing and dismissive. It seems that there is one woman's movement, one right way to do feminism for her. Detractors to her viewpoint are villainized in a haughty manner with few exceptions, such as when she disagreed with Gloria Steinem. In short, I did not sense a willingness to consider other feminisms and did not feel a clear sense of growth in this memoir.

4) The book could be at least 1, maybe 2, chapters shorter. At times, this becomes less a memoir of Feigen's life and more a love letter to Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Gloria Steinem. The connections back to Feigen sometimes disappear for whole chapters. I also felt the time in Hollywood was, perhaps, excessive but that at least fit in the memoir more clearly and was entertaining. While I appreciate both Steinem and RBG for their work, Feigen redirected the narrative to these feminist icons too often, capitalizing on her first-name-basis with these women as a substitute for her own work and credentials.

I understand this may not be how others read this book. Others of you may be in rapt attention to Feigen's narrative. Some may find her work resonant with theirs. I understand that and appreciate that. I also understand the inherent position of power I inhabit as a man and that to critique how Feigen wants to present her feminist life can be problematic. So let me be VERY clear here: I appreciate Feigen's work and I firmly believe that her feminism comes from a place of sincerity, of unique challenges for a woman of her positionality, and of a lifetime of experience. However, I do not think her book was as well-written as it could have been and that some of her ideologies (or the way they were presented) needed further consideration. It is a good read for those wishing to know more of the key players in US feminist history, but unfortunately this one did not sit well with me for many reasons.

[Kirst · Rating 4 out of 5]

While she’s not always are of her own privilege and while I fundamentally disagree with some of her views (eg trans people), there’s merit here. It offers an eye-opening read into the 2nd wave feminist movement’s relentless work and the obstacles they faced.

[Wendy P · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted to give this book 5 stars because Brenda Fagan is a monumental force in that feminist movement and her personal history of her involvement is interesting and enlightening. However, this book was written in 2000 and some of her opinions did not age well and would now be considered downright discriminatory. If you look in the context of when the book is written, I will give her grace. However, her views on transgender people is simply abhorrent. Further, she takes a “if you’re not with me, you’re against me approach” to feminism which means she alienated a lot of people in response, and made the movement less effective in reaching its goals. A good read, but must be placed in the contextual history that it was written and also recognize the displayed biases of the author.

[Aprill Medrano · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insightful memoir by a monumental figure to the Woman’s movement. My favorite chapter is the one where she is transparent about her sexuality and describes what it was like being in her first female relationship. Personally, I didn’t agree with some of her perspectives regarding to trans people, but I do agree that attacking Pornography and breast cancer should be a monumental goal of the feminist agenda. I wonder how she feels about the state of feminism now?

[Rikki · Rating 2 out of 5]

Abandoned around the time she starts shitting on feminists Left of her liberalism. The beginning is filled with gems, but I tired of her quickly, especially after she started name dropping. I might return to this later, but it's been untouched since mid-2020 and it's currently Nov 2021.

[A Cesspool · Rating 3 out of 5]

Navy Seals's (1990) fantastic production memoir; otherwise did not finish

[Bárbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really interesting read. Lots of historical facts included.