Nu sunt suficient de bun: Rescrie poveștile pe care ți le spui și schimbă-ți viața

by Lisa Olivera

E minunat să înțelegi cine ești cu adevărat, pentru că ești mai mult decât îți spui că ești!

La doar câteva ore de la naștere, Lisa Olivera a fost abandonată în spatele unei stânci de lângă Pădurea Muir din California de Nord. La scurt timp, a fost găsită de cei care aveau să devină părinții ei adoptivi. Lisa a crescut știind că a fost adoptată, dar abia mai târziu a înțeles că poartă în inimă rana abandonului. Ca mulți alți copii puși în această situație, s-a întrebat neîncetat care a fost motivul pentru care mama sa naturală a părăsit-o. Neavând răspunsuri, Lisa și-a creat o poveste prin care își spunea că nu este suficientă și că este absolut necesar să ajungă cât mai aproape de perfecțiune pentru a putea fi iubită. Până când, cu ajutorul unui terapeut, ea a înțeles un lucru care i-a schimbat viața: povestea ei era greșită, nu ea.

Dacă și tu te regăsești în situația Lisei – crezi că nu ești suficient, că nu meriți să fii iubit, simți că vrei să te eliberezi de tine ca de o haină care te strânge –, este timpul să-ți rescrii povestea. Iar Lisa te va ajuta.

Această carte este o scrisoare de dragoste către sinele tău autentic, cel onest, curajos, liber, cel care nu lasă să se scurgă dragostea pentru viață prin rănile și cicatricile sufletului. Îți va arăta că, pentru a te vindeca, nu trebuie să uiți, să ștergi sau să anulezi, ci să integrezi durerea ta în povestea vieții tale, astfel încât să te simți bine tu cu tine.

Această carte te va învăța:

Să îți rescrii povestea, pentru a lăsa în spate trecutul dureros.
Să te eliberezi de rănile trecutului prin exerciții practice.
Să te iubești, să te accepți, să te îmbrățișezi așa cum meriți.
Să capeți încredere în tine, fără să te mai crezi insuficient.
Să faci distincția între gândurile false și cele adevărate.

Pornește într-o călătorie de autocunoaștere la finalul căreia te așteaptă omul care te iubește cel mai mult, cel care îți este alături în fiecare moment: tu însuți!

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Mental Health, Audiobook, Memoir, Personal Development

280 pages, Paperback

First published January 25, 2022

Reviews

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

"We so easily forget that accepting ourselves isn’t about reaching some final destination but is more about doing the deep work of slowing down, turning inward, and gently reintroducing yourself to parts of you that you were told you should fix."

What a joy and gift this book was to read. Lisa Olivera is a kind and gentle voice throughout this book as she walks you through the journey of unpacking your own stories and finding your way back to yourself.

Lisa guides you to spend time seeing and understanding the stories you're telling yourself so that you can put the distance you need between yourself and the stories and can see the distortion they cause in your life. This book doesn't contain absolutes, quick fixes or easy answers.

"Looking for confirmation of our stories is a way of consistently validating the belief that they are true, which makes it really challenging to see things through a different lens. But once you start, you can look for proof of the opposite—and make room for the possibility that the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are wrong."

Instead it encourages you to look within yourself, ask yourself the questions and create room for the possibility that maybe your stories are not, in fact, truth. Maybe, just maybe, you are creating this lens that is not serving you and you might be able to let it go and choose a different way to see things. She gently pushes you to explore and question and make room for possibility.

"The truth is that unless we do that work internally, a relationship will only mirror the work we haven’t yet done within ourselves."

This book is not a lecture. It's an interactive experience. There are many questions at the end of each chapter, inviting you to participate in your own journey. Inviting you to explore. To dig deeper. To be willing to do the work. To show up for your own life.

It gently guides you through the steps of slowly coming back to yourself. Being who you are meant to be without all the distortion. Giving yourself what you need. Creating the version of you that feels most true to you. Reminding you that you get to choose. You always get to choose.

"The truth is that we get to choose who we are. We get to choose how we care for ourselves and how we show up in the world."

with gratitude to netgalley and Simon & Schuster for an early copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Rich · Rating 4 out of 5]

Already Enough is a guide to reframing the stories we tell ourselves and offers encouragement to accept ourselves entirely. Olivera, a therapist (@_lisaolivera on Instagram) who was abandoned as a newborn, uses her personal experience to explain how we, as humans, create stories to make sense out of the nonsensical that need to be challenged and rewritten. She also shares how a therapist helped her see how her old stories benefited her and how updating them would allow her to see that she is inherently worthy and enough.

I felt an overwhelming amount of support, encouragement, compassion, and kindness reading this book. It feels like Olivera cares about the reader and wants him to feel like everything is okay and that it's okay to have feelings (even if they're negative!) and that it's up to him to decide how he wants to live, especially if he didn't have a childhood he wanted. Unlike many self-help books I've read, Olivera includes thoughtful check-in points where the reader is encouraged to acknowledge the difficulty in doing deep inner work while Olivera offers words of praise and encouragement. There is also a useful resource guide organized by topic with more books readers might find useful as they continue their journey toward self-acceptance.

This book will resonate most with curious people looking to reframe their stories and who are seeking to better understand themselves and those around them. By reading Already Enough, readers will find that a more meaningful and nourishing life is always within reach.

(Thanks to Simon & Schuster for providing an ARC via NetGalley)

[Liina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been following Lisa Olivera on Instagram for a long while. Her snippets of soothing advice are often like little anchors during a busy day that remind you what is essential, how to ground your thoughts and not be carried away by the whirlwind that is daily life.
The book is a long-form go at her approach. At the heart of it is the idea that we all tell ourselves stories about who we are. Often these stories are based on experiences that were painful or are narratives we have created as coping mechanisms. Meaning they don't serve us anymore or don't serve us well. She gives gentle nudges and questions/ideas on how to talk to ourselves to break through thouse stories and create new ones that would be more kind and free of judgement.

It probably sounds a bit corny and like a self-help book but it is a lot better than that. I have a very low tolerance toward motivational speakers and the self-help genre in general but I felt different about this book. I guess I liked the general idea that we always live and think in stories - through the narrative we construct our reality because it is the only way we know how to sequence information and give meaning (cause>effect). Those narratives, especially when entwined with traumatic experiences, can be incredibly strong. It is difficult to see oneself, to see through those stories one has told herself of a lifetime. Lisa's book gives ever so gentle and kind pushes to try and do just that. To see oneself anew.

[Kate Kinne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I actually looked forward to reading this book throughout the day. It was a gentle and beautifully written book about remembering who we are underneath all the BS we tell ourselves. It also includes a lot of great journal prompts.

[SteFF · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried but I couldn't stay awake through this book. The book is full of basic knowledge and not at all insightful.

[janne Boswell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five stars. I took 8 pages of notes. The Author's message: Reframe and rewrite your story.
I could relate to Ms. Olivera, she did an excellent job telling her story. It was powerful, and provided the basis for how a horrific childhood could be rewritten, literally to challenge yourself to be the best possible person you can be, given the circumstances and the 'cards' you have been dealt.
The Author did an excellent job, breaking down the steps into bite size pieces; she provided practical, direct ways to examine your life and learn from it. But more imporatantly, use it as a vessel for change.
Each chapter, provided questions, to ask yourself, when journalling.
The Author encourages, "facing the pain" and "be willing to experience the discomfort of growth and change."
"When we give ourselves compassion, the tight knot of negative judgement starts to dissolve, replaced by a feeling of peaceful, conneected acceptance- a sparkling diamond that emerges from the coa
"Try one new thing instead of 10."
"Your feelings are valid. You will feel discomfort."
"Ultimately, to make space for all of who we've been, who we are and all of who we're becoming and unbecoming."
The only suggestion I would make, is I thought the book ended 'well' with this quote but, then the Author goes on to decribe, "how self acceptance shows up in our lives."
Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Audio.
jb/https://seniorbooklounge.blogspot.com/

[Samantha King · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am wearing two different hats anytime I read a “self help” book. There were so many times I had to stop and truly reflect on the wisdom Lisa speaks on these pages. I would reflect for my clients, and then switch hats and reflect for my own life. This book is now covered in highlighter and I think it will live on my nightstand because I love the title and I loved each moment of this book! Highly recommend to anyone who wants to reflect on their emotional journey, without being hard on themselves! 🤍

[Bri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so nourishing. It took me 9 months to read because of the amount of things the author helped me to unpack, examine, pause, and repackage. The gentle prompting and questions throughout helped me really dig in and find meaning and application. This is a book I’d love to revisit in a few years time.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

would read this again & again. one of the books i own in which i had to refrain from dog-earing every single page.

[Melody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Already Enough by Lisa Olivera is a beautifully written book all about accepting yourself now. Olivera tells her story of being adopted and of how she struggled with feeling accepted and feeling like she was enough. She then explains how we can come to accept ourselves wherever we are, and she gives numerous actionable ways to do this. I especially appreciated all of her lists of how things might look differently if I were to apply certain ideas to my life, and all the questions that she provides so I can process and journal through these new ideas. One of the many paragraphs I marked talks about how "Change Starts with You, in More Ways Than One." She says," When we have a deeper sense of our worth, our goodness, and our enoughness, we have a greater capacity to see and witness that in others. When we move from a place of wholeness, we believe in change and have more capacity to invoke change, be fierce about what matters to us, and find the fortitude to take action within and outside of ourselves." Olivera's gentle writing feels like a warm hug, and I highly recommend this book. I also recommend checking out her Instagram account, as it is extremely encouraging as well. Thanks to NetGalley for the free digital review copy. All opinions are my own.

[Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever struggled with stories that you have told yourself about yourself? Did you ever realize that some of the truths that you live every single day, are not your truths but another that you have accidentally embodied?

In this book Lisa Olivera deconstructs how so may of us today are living stories that are not even our stories in the first place, but stories that others have created and spoken to us that we have ended up embodying and living as if they are our own truths. In living those tales of others, we loose track of our own self worth, and our own acceptance because we lead our lives thinking that we are never enough, or that there is something fundamentally wrong with us, when in reality, the only thing wrong with us (which isn't even wrong, just an aspect that needs a little reframing) are the stories that we hold on too.

Lisa Olivera helps to give tools and questions to reflect upon to help understand our own stories and identify where we are holding onto others opinions and statements about ourselves, and the false narratives that we have created about our own lives, and how we can reframe those thoughts to help improve our overall vision and feelings of our own lives. While sharing aspects of her own struggles with the stories that she had told herself all of her life, and the path she took to help and grow into her own self-acceptance, this book is a must read to anyone who as ever struggle or questions their own self worth, or ever had a hard time accepting who they are, or even identifying who they truly are.

This will certainly be a book I come back to again and again, for changing a narrative that you have held your whole life is certainly a life long journey to change, but with this book and Lisa Olivera's gentle compassion shown through these pages, it is possible, as long as we choose to move through these narratives with grace and compassion towards ourselves in the now, as well as our past selves that have held onto these narratives for so long.

[Katie Kurtz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a soft, brave space to land and explore the parts of our humanity we tend to hide because we are led to think they don't belong. Lisa has an incredible gift of holding space through her nurturing and humanity affirming words that offer guidance in a way that removes the authority and hierarchy that often appears in self-help books.

This book outlines how we can name, honor and rewrite our stories in a way that is clear, transparent, relatable and most importantly, doable. She breaks down high level therapeutic concepts into everyday practices that don't feel flooding or unattainable. Each practice is trauma-informed by allowing for adaptability, individual experience, and collaboration.

Lisa's vulnerability and courage of sharing her own humanity throughout this book allows us to witness that healing is a practice without a final destination but rather many different arrivals and most importantly, that healing is possible for us all.

This book is relatable to everyone no matter what season of life you are in, because the need for belonging and enoughness is such a universal human desire. As a licensed social worker and trauma specialist, I'm thrilled to have such a strong, compassionate and accessible resource to offer others.

[Brianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fantastic read; equal parts educational, empowering, and uplifting. Lisa Olivera uses her experience with trauma and depression and her career in therapy to share her knowledge with others looking to find acceptance and realize their self-worth. The book provides helpful questions to consider throughout and Olivera encourages and compliments you as you "do the work" of digging deep and finding your own path towards acceptance and healing. This is a book worth keeping on your shelf so you can pull it out and explore the questions as you need them, or to guide journaling or a self-reflection practice. I highly recommend this read for anyone!

I have loved Lisa Olivera's work ever since I found her instagram account and was so pleased to be able to read this book early. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sharing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Leah Merricks · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most valuable books I've read to date for my own self-questioning. I don't even want to consider it's in the 'self-help' genre - it doesn't fit.

Lisa Olivera's creations are some of the most nourishing streams of thought and ideas, and she is what makes me continue wanting to train as a therapist. She grasps so much about the human experience, in such a tangible, digestible but beautiful way. Her words are art, and her ideas come from such an authentic connected place.

I adore this just as I adore her 'Cultivating You' course. 🌱

[Kirstie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Lisa Olivera’s Instagram page. This book felt like too much, though. I found the beginning a great opportunity to think and reflect and then I found the number of reflective questions overwhelming and repetitive. Maybe part of this is that I have already done a lot of this work - and like she says in the end - it is time to practice rather than consume. Would still recommend to others who are earlier on in their story-unpacking!

[M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a good read.

[Agnė · Rating 3 out of 5]

Already Enough: A Path to Self-Acceptance is a gentle, interactive guide to recognizing, accepting, and rewriting (if needed) the stories we tell ourselves in order to reach self-acceptance.

I LOVED the first part of the book, "Getting Honest." It was an eye-opening experience for me. So much of what Lisa Olivera explained there about the stories we tell ourselves, why and how we create them, and how they affect our lives, deeply resonated with me.

The other two parts, "Getting Brave" and "Getting Free," are basically Therapy 101, i.e., an introduction to a lot of different pathways, techniques, and resources that might be useful in rewriting the damaging stories we tell ourselves. These parts are quite dense and cover a lot of ground, but nothing in depth. It's a good overview, for sure, but I felt like I already knew most of it. But perhaps that's the whole point: there is no easy fix, and most of us already know what we need to do, we just have to DO THE WORK (consumption vs. action).

Talking about work, the whole book is full of prompts. Honestly, you can spend MONTHS working through this book. Although I definitely see the value in such a highly interactive experience, the amount of prompts can be rather overwhelming and become quite repetitive.

My favorite part of Already Enough is 10 truths at the end of the book. What a beautiful, meaningful, powerful, empowering summary of the entire book and the process of uncovering oneself!

Overall, Lisa Olivera's style is very gentle, perhaps a little bit too gentle for my taste. Personally, I prefer David Goggins' "harsh truth," "no excuses," "kick in the ass" approach to better self, and Already Enough is definitely not that.

[Dana Iacomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Sunt sigură că suntem cu toții deja întregi, demni și suficient de buni, chiar dacă, uneori, viața, oamenii și sistemele în care trăim ne pun piedici în a ne aminti adevărul despre noi înșine.”

De ce atât de mulți oameni nu se simt suficient de buni și împăcați de acțiunile din viața lor? De ce avem senzația că dacă nu ne încadrăm într-un tipar perfect, nu am merita validare și apreciere? Tocmai această goană după perfecțiune ne răpește frumusețea vieții, tocmai acele lucruri mărunte și banale care ne fac viața mai fericită.

În această carte ghid, Lisa Olivera, psihoterapeut de profesie, abandonată de la o vârstă fragedă, ne învață cum să ne eliberăm de durere și de credințele limitative, de poveștile pe care le purtăm agățate de noi și care ne sabotează și cum să încercăm să le rescriem.

O carte terapeutică, vindecătoare, despre cunoașterea de sine, un pilon fundamental în procesul de vindecare lăuntrică.

“Lumea are nevoie de mai mulți oameni cărora nu le este teamă să eșueze, să nu aibă dreptate și să facă greșeli. Lumea are nevoie de oameni care înțeleg, modifică și aleg poveștile pe care și le spun singuri.”

[Anthony · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given an advanced reader's edition of Lisa Olivera's book from Simon & Schuster. Already Enough was such an enlightening read, providing insightful and integral information for realizing your self-worth and rewriting your inner stories. The most relatable information in the book is delivered in such a personal writing style by Lisa, and unlike many self-healing books is never patronizing or condescending. I found the writing to be refreshing and something actually applicable to my life. Weaving her personal experiences with her message of radical acceptance formulates a method by which everyone can live by and practice. If you're looking for the words to make you feel at home in yourself, and a true path to self acceptance, I highly recommend picking up a copy of Already Enough.

[Georgina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a lovely and gentle book, I will definitely revisit it.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

IME, a lot of self-help books are filled with woo or very non-helpful advice, but this one was quite grounded and refreshing. I'm likely to buy a hard copy of this to keep.

[Patricia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book to be rambling and wordy. Lots of suggestions for authors I have found more clear and concise. There was really no new information for me here.

[Lana · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 5. La cosa con este tipo de libros es que es muy difícil encontrar nada nuevo o diferente. Al final, todos los autores de autoayuda (al menos los que llevo leídos) dan vueltas sobre las mismas ideas, te intercalan su historia personal en medio y alcanzan la misma conclusión (como, por otro lado, es comprensible). Me ha gustado la profundización de Lisa Olivera en las historias que nos contamos; creo que sí ha sido algo interesante sobre lo que enfocarse y reflexionar, aunque nuevamente tampoco he sentido que estuviera descubriendo nada. Quizá mi deseo es encontrar algo que o bien aporte alguna idea distinta o bien tenga un tono especial que consiga llegarme más (siempre mencionaré The wisdom of anxiety de Sheryl Paul como un libro que se siente como un abrazo, aunque no diga nada nuevo).

[Fiona Kirwan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I marked this as read—I am only halfway through—but I will be dnf it. I do not like this book, and I tried my best to get into it and interact with the prompts, but I did not feel a genuine connection to it at any point. It put me in a reading slump and I had to “force” myself to read it just for the sake of finishing, and even then, I could not handle reading a ton at once. I feel this book is too repetitive, and as it may help others with their issues, I did not have any specific self-problems that came to mind when reading the advice Lisa gave. I don’t blame my disliking on this author or book- I think the self-help genre is simply just not for me.

[Nichole · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I hate to say it but it mainly felt like a summary of other pre-existing books in this space. I appreciated the insight on perfectionism, something I suffer from. And these stories “I need to figure it all out on my own” “Productivity dictates my sense of worth.” Showing gratitude for yourself and your strengths and not just things in your life.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a good book. The author shares her story about being adopted, along with the tips that has helped her. Most of the things in this book, were the same as other books. All in all it was still a good book.I am grateful that netgalley let me read this in exchange for an honest review.

[Cristina Carrasco · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful well-written self-help book. I love Lisa Olivera and I deeply connect with her compassionate approach and ideas - they 're the perfect match for the healing work that I'm doing with my therapist. Highly recommended.

[Indumathi · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Lisa Olivera. Her words always always seem like a warm hug 🧡

This book affirmed my entire healing journey of the last 3 years. I could see my journey reflected in all that she said and this has been the most compassionate reminder that I’m on the right path. I went thought this book very slowly because of that. To sit with all that was coming up.

I love how it’s both practical but also not prescriptive at the same time. She shared so many important things that I needed to be reminded of as I continue to return back to myself over and over again. There were a lot of really good questions and prompts as well, but I’ll have to read through them slowly again to think about it.

I want to share a few words of hers that I found very powerful:
“The world needs more humans who are showing up from their whole self…who are in touch with all parts of who they are…who are willing to accept their full humanity and willing to see the humanity in those different from them. The world needs more humans who aren’t afraid to fail…be wrong…make mistakes. The world needs more humans who understand, shift, and choose the stories they tell themselves.”



🧡

[Dameon Fowler · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The therapist was talking about allowing—allowing my pain, allowing my feelings, allowing my story. One of our practices for that week was to notice and allow, notice and allow, notice and allow… repeat. It felt strange to me. Wrong, even. Why would I allow sadness and disappointment and grief and shame? Why would I be okay with them? I wanted to do the opposite. I wanted it all just to go away. I wanted to go away." Thank you for helping me change my stories. My life has become a little to hard recently and you have changed that with that quote and so much more. Thank you and Blessed Be. 💘

[Nyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love Lisa's style and approach. You can tell her compassion for humans and the entire book feels comforting.

The questions were helpful and the entire book was very similar to so much else I've read or been working on, so I feel like I didn't get a whole lot out of it other than confirmation of what I've already learned, but maybe that is enough.