A Necessary Lie: Escape for Freedom and Love

by Doohyun Kim, Jiyeon Maeng

This inspiring, unforgettable true story takes you on a journey through life in North Korea and the heart-wrenching decision two people make who will risk everything to escape.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Book Club, Biography, History

407 pages, Paperback

Published September 15, 2023

Reviews

[Ally Sargent · Rating 5 out of 5]

9/10 - I’m a sucker for a North Korean defector’s story. Throw in the fact that this is also a love story? I loved it. It’s the easier read of the three North Korea books I have read (The girl with 7 names, Nothing to envy). Still heart wrenching in spots but a pretty easy, fast-paced read. I felt like I could hear their voices in the writing and that made it very intimate. Doohyun and Jiyeon are actually two of our friends! It’s incredible to read a story like this and be able to know the people involved in real life. It makes it so much more real. Can’t believe what they have endured and still endure.

[Mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Doohyun: I need to leave North Korea.
My favorite Korean BBQ restaurant started having a Kdrama night. The owner, Sun, let us know his friend defected from North Korea and wrote a book and he’d be at our drama night so I eagerly ordered the book.
And WOW. It’s one of my favorite reads of the year. Doohyun and Jiyeon’s story was so powerful and heartbreaking. What they endured in North Korea made me so grateful for my country and my freedoms and for hot water and food whenever I want it. The book would rotate between their prospectives and could not turn pages fast enough. There many times I was moved to tears reading what each braved to escape and what they left behind to do so. It’s hard to express the terrors and hardships the citizens of North Korea endure and the lies they are told. The book is written well and tells a wonderful story of determination and true love.

[Caroline Krebs · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read a few books by North Korea defectors and this one is fascinating. It really focuses on the love story between the husband and wife. I wanted to learn even more about what they are up to now so I did some more research after. Such a beautiful family and you truly see a God’s hand in their journey out of North Korea. They are now members of the church.

[Adrienne Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

My neighbor co authored this book and offered me a copy to read
I enjoyed reading it and learned many things about North Korea and how blessed I am for my freedom

[Raquel Zapata · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great read with and incredible story and very well written. I couldn’t put it down. The love story was also crazy and I loved it.

[Rebecca Quinn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read Nothing to Envy a couple of years ago and this was a great complement to that book. Nothing to Envy is very well-written in a journalistic style. I enjoyed the story in A Necessary Lie and appreciated the "zoomed in" aspect of this book's main characters, which differed from the more zoomed out generalizations of Nothing to Envy. In terms of writing, though, Nothing to Envy was much more professionally done. I sometimes got distracted by the writing style of the author (not in a good way) - it detracted from the powerful and moving story of Doohyun and Jiyeon. A wonderful story though and a great reminder of the freedoms in the USA that I all too often take for granted.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone needs to read this book. I was completely hooked from the very first chapter, and read the entire book in about 6 hours straight. It is an epic love story amidst a terrifying backdrop of communist North Korea, and I can’t believe it’s actually a true story. It not only made me so grateful for my freedoms and wonder how I deserved to be born where I was, but also made me feel a connection with the good people of North Korea, who aren’t that different from me but are trapped by ignorance fostered by their government’s propaganda. This couple is an absolute inspiration - people who risked and endured more than I ever will in hopes of a better life for their children. They are heroes. I LOVED this book!!!

[Casey Moser · Rating 5 out of 5]

i had the honor of meeting jiyeon at my book club for this book. a remarkable, heartbreaking story that deserves to be heard. written around their love story, which i loved. a tribute to the strength of what humans can (and do) endure when they have to. i feel sad for the people of north korea and hope that some kind of change can take place in their country. a people living in survival mode for sure.

i didn’t love the writing style, but the story is so powerful it didn’t matter that much. hope this becomes and audiobook!

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing and inspiring!

This book is so well written!! I am amazed at their incredible journey! I felt like I was with them during their hardships as well as the blessings!

[Layne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, fantastic book. Definitely a must read.

[Sarah Tadje · Rating 5 out of 5]

This true story is inspiring, heartbreaking, and powerful. The bravery of Doohyun and Jiyeon is amazing. Life is not fair and the people living in North Korea have it so hard. I hope this book can bring more awareness and change for those living in North Korea.

[Tami Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was our September read for book group and it was a really incredible true story. I learned a ton about life in North Korea, and what people face when they try to escape an oppressive government. It made me more sad than ever knowing what refugees from third world countries in our own country go through, and how little help is available to them.

[Laurel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an inspiring story! This is why reading is so important. It’s so critical to be aware of the things happening in the world around us. Their story is truly inspiring and makes me so grateful for the life I live.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a gripping true story about the escape of an incredible couple from North Korea. I could not put it down. The conditions in North Korea are horrific. This couple's love and faith is inspiring.

[Jithendra Jithu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: A Necessary Lie

by Heidi Tucker

Rating:5/5

Review:

👉Dive into the captivating true story of A Necessary Lie by Doohyun Kim, Jiyeon Maeng, and Heidi Tucker, where the journey from oppression to freedom unfolds with poignant clarity and unwavering resolve. 📚✨

👉Set against the backdrop of North Korea's repressive regime, this narrative transports readers into a world shrouded in secrecy and fear, where the pursuit of liberty comes at an unimaginable cost. Through the eyes of its courageous protagonists, we bear witness to the harrowing challenges and heart-wrenching sacrifices they endure in their quest for a better life. 💔💪

👉What sets this memoir apart is its unflinching honesty and intimate portrayal of the human experience. From the complexities of navigating a treacherous underground railroad to the moments of fleeting joy amidst adversity, every page resonates with authenticity and raw emotion. 🌟📖

👉But beyond its gripping plotline, A Necessary Lie serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring pursuit of freedom. It compels readers to confront the harsh realities faced by millions living under oppressive regimes and inspires a deeper appreciation for the liberties we often take for granted. 🌍🕊️

👉As I journeyed through the pages of this remarkable memoir, I couldn't help but be moved by the sheer courage and determination of its protagonists. Their story is not just one of survival, but of hope, love, and the unyielding belief in a better tomorrow. 🌈💖

👉In a world where freedom is too often a luxury denied to many, A Necessary Lie serves as a poignant reminder of the enduring power of the human spirit to overcome even the darkest of circumstances. It's a story that will linger in your heart long after you've turned the final page, urging you to cherish the precious gift of liberty and to never underestimate the strength of the human will. 🌟📚

#ANecessaryLie #BookReview #Inspiration #Courage #Freedom 📖💫

[McKenna Costa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book deserves five stars. The only reason why I didn’t give it that rating, is because the horror this couple had to live through in the beginning was described in too much heartfelt detail. It made me care for them for sure, but it was a little much for my sensitive soul.

For those who haven’t read it yet, this is a story of survival and freedom, but most of all — it’s a love story. I don’t think I’ve truly read such a pure and tender love story in all my life. This is the kind of love that most can only dream about, the kind of love that we should aspire to. It had me in tears by the end.
The miracles that happened due to blind faith was incredible to read as well. The best part is, this couple used their struggles to join a cause that helps others. They didn’t simply survive, their characters also endured, and helped them grow into God-loving people who aid others in a fight for human rights.

It’s rare to find in survival stories, and I’m grateful to read something that uplifts my soul in the end. I’m so grateful to have read their story, and I hope that many North Koreans will likewise be able to find freedom and peace. Hopefully one day, North Korea will reform itself into a place that values the lives of its citizens.

Wonderful, inspiring book! Would recommend to everyone who’s old enough to handle some of its early darkness.

[Nicole Plumley · Rating 5 out of 5]

a must read- a unique love story from 2 amazing North Korean Defectors!

As an American who has a lot of interest in the North Korean people and their hope of freedom, I've read almost every book from a defector that is out there. What makes this unique is the true love story between two people- a husband wanting his wife to go live in freedom with him. Typically I've only read of defectors traveling alone or only with family members. This is a very special story and the author wrote it so well!
To Doohyun and Jiyeon: thank you for your bravery and vulnerability in sharing your story. You two are blessed and lucky to have made it out of North Korea as the border tightens, with less and less escapes happening. Your story of sheer courage, hope, bravery, and determination is beyond inspiring. I hope you both get to live a long happy life, watching your children grow up in freedom wherever you are now. We are lucky to have been able to hear your story in our lifetime. Your words and this book will live long after we are gone, and mean more now than ever as the future of North Korean escapees sadly dwindle. I wish I could give you both a big hug and thank you for making the treacherous journey to freedom, and how much I admire your strength! May God bless and protect you and your family. I pray I will get to see the North Korean people free in my lifetime❤️.

[Jared · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the most impactful book I have ever read. Everyone should read it. It tells the true story of a young couple in North Korea who escaped from there and the journey they took. It starts with their childhood and adolescence, their eventual meeting and marriage, and then the harrowing journey each one took to make it to South Korea.

This book gives the reader detailed insight to what life is like for average citizens in one of the most mysterious and tightly controlled countries on Earth. The reader is walked through the propaganda they were subjected to as children, the witnessing of executions, and the consequences of their parents' choices. They provide just the right amount of detail, but keep the pace of the story moving.

The escape they each undertook is one of the most gripping parts of the book. Readers will easily feel the suspense and may forget that it is actually a true story, but fiction cannot compare to the intensity of their journey.

It is a humbling read. The reader should not be surprised after reading this book they will have more gratitude for each meal, hot shower, and electricity. The book shines a bright light on the gross injustice and human indignity that is occurring in North Korea. Anyone who reads it, and everyone should, will not see the world the same way again.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

The fourth of four escape-from-North-Korea books I've read. Another great story, this one featuring a young man who, with no future in North Korea, decides he must leave. Because he is told that couples rarely succeed if they try to escape together, and because he doesn't want her to be held responsible, he leaves without telling his wife. After his harrowing escape to South Korea, he spends two years working to pay for his wife's escape. Eventually the two emigrate to the United States. It is told as a love story, which it certainly is. The only reason I didn't rate it higher is that the writing is sometimes awkward or cheesy. Still a great story.

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

This inspiring, unforgettable true story takes you on a journey through life in North Korea and the heart-wrenching decision two people make who will risk everything to escape.

This is an amazing story of life in North Korea and the brainwashing that goes on in daily life. The escape of Doohyun was terrifying and filled with hardship. But to make the story even more incredible, his wife follows him 2 years later to join him. It is jaw dropping to think what people are able to endure and the strength of the human spirit, especially when it is driven by love.

[Roxann Glassey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soul Touching and Enlightening.

One of the best books I have ever read. It truly touched my soul and enlightened me to a life of deprivation and deceit that I didn't know still existed in today's world. I agree with the author in saying I feel a new level of gratitude for freedom, a roof over my head, a hot shower, and access to food whenever I need it. This incredible story has changed me. I have felt a burning in my heart and I cried when I read it. I will never again take for granted all the freedoms and opportunities that I freely own.

[Rebe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the content/love story of this book, but it is poorly organized and choppy. The author was also very redundant- I think there was a paragraph on each page that said how much the couple missed each other. Yes, we know. This book’s main focus was the escape from North Korea, so you got more details than other books about how harrowing it is. My favorite North Korean defector book so far is Nothing to Envy- much better written and organized. Overall, a good read.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't even believe some of the things I read in this book. Elementary age kids watching an execution. Not knowing what it's like to walk on a street without dead bodies. Not being able to have enough food and heat. Not being lied to your whole life. Fear wherever you go. This is an amazing story of strength, perseverance, hope, and love. So grateful I was able to read it, and meet the authors.

[Alena · Rating 4 out of 5]

more accurately i’d give the book a 4.5. i enjoyed reading both doohyun and jiyeon’s points of view on their escape for love—their fortitude was incredibly touching. it’s such a treasure to have it written in text to be shared with the world. i docked it a half point because tucker’s narration wasn’t my favorite. i wish the poignancy of the couple’s story was better encapsulated in her style which seemed to fall short. nonetheless, a wonderful read.

[Max Skidmore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew the general details about life in North Korea but not the specific details. This true story shows the reader what it takes to escape from North Korea. For this couple, it involved about 3000 miles through China, Laos, Thailand and (finally) South Korea. The husband's father was arrested in North Korea. After several years, he was released because the authorities didn't want him to die in prison. When he returned home, he weighed 66 pounds. Incredible true story.

[Eric Bingham · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't help comparing this book to "The Girl with Seven Names" which is about a similar escape from North Korea. That book is, in my opinion, much better written. However, I feel like the story that is told in this book is a better story (especially since it contains a wonderful love story between a husband and wife). The love story in this book is compelling and the escape story is harrowing, but I just felt like the writing wasn't that great.

[Sheridan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this was a really interesting book to read. It was about a couple who escaped from North Korea. It’s not just about life in North Korea, it’s the incredible tale of how they escaped separately. And how their love helps them to reunite.
Amazing and inspiring story.

Rated PG. it would be an incredible movie to watch!!

[Michael Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an absolute page-turner - loved this book! The experiences of growing up under such an atrocious regime and dealing with the terrible famine were poignant and set the stage well. And the determination and courage both Doohyun and Jiyeon demonstrated were absolutely inspiring. I’ll be recommending this book to all my friends.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing story illustrating the power of individuals to change the direction of their lives. The inner strength, determination, love, and eventual faith of this couple is inspiring. It's also important to note that their success was in large part due to the support, courage, and knowledge of others they connected with.

[Sidney Minert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this was such an amazing story. It’s written very simply, making it an easy read. But that does not diminish the beautiful story that is told. I learned a lot about North Korea and the experience this couple had as residents and then as refugees. It’s mind blowing what they have lived through and very inspiring.