Murder on Sex Island: A Luella van Horn Mystery

Luella van Horn Mysteries #1

by Jo Firestone

When a cast member goes missing from the hit reality show Sex Island, producers ask the mysterious detective Luella van Horn to go undercover as a contestant and solve the case. What the producers don't know is that Luella van Horn is actually a woman named Marie Jones, a divorced ex-social worker attempting to lead a double life as a glamorous private eye. Unable to resist the opportunity to be a part of her favorite trashy reality show, Marie-as-Luella takes the case. But the more she learns about Sex Island's dark underbelly, the harder it gets to make it out alive. She encounters shady producers, sleazy directors, and contestants willing to do whatever it takes to win the $100,000 grand prize. Will she find the killer? Will she find herself? Will she find... love? Find out now, in Sex Island's most dramatic season yet.

Genres: Mystery, Fiction, Audiobook, Humor, Mystery Thriller, Thriller, Cozy Mystery

264 pages, Paperback

First published June 24, 2025

Reviews

[emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

things nicolas cage and jo firestone have in common:
- national treasure

this is funny and if you ever have an opportunity to have jo firestone read aloud a reality tv-show based cozy mystery involving murder, jell-o, and fake teeth, i recommend you take it.

even if it doesn't quite stick the landing, more cozy mysteries should be like this.

bottom line: don't threaten me with a good time.

3.5

[Zoë · Rating 4 out of 5]

when I found out that fake British idiot fell into a ditch and that was his 80s romcom/sitcom exit from the book i laughed so hard i choked on my water

[John (LHBC) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Imagine The Bachelor, Only Murders in the Building, and Scooby-Doo went on a bender, woke up on a tropical island, and tried to solve a murder. That’s roughly the energy of Murder on Sex Island—a purposely absurd, occasionally sharp, but sometimes overcooked satire that knows exactly what kind of book it wants to be, whether or not you’re on board.

Jo Firestone leans hard into the ridiculous premise: a washed-up/wannabe PI, posing as a contestant on a sexy reality TV show, trying to redeem herself while surrounded by influencer types and shady producers. The main character, Luella van Horn is a mess. She’s the kind of detective who stumbles into trouble, panics, and somehow still ends up with a dead body in her tub.

There are some genuinely funny lines and great moments of cringe comedy—Firestone’s humor shines brightest in the details: the absurd confessionals, the petty alliances, the cynical showrunners trying to spin a death into better ratings. It’s reality TV meets whodunnit.

But- it tries very hard. And sometimes, it shows. The dialogue doesn’t always land, the character interactions can feel more like improv sketches than actual conversations, and the plot—the mystery part of the mystery novel—is more like background noise. You’re not here for tight pacing or shocking reveals. You’re here for the chaos, the camp, and the commentary on just how far reality TV will go to entertain us.

Would I recommend it? Yes, just be sure you know what you are getting. It’s a great beach read—short, strange, and never taking itself too seriously. But if you’re expecting a twisty thriller or even consistent satire, you may end up more amused than amazed.

[Mystery, She Read]

DNF

Mood/Seasonal Reading: summer

I usually like books that push the limits like this one but this was just not working for me. The concept was too out there and the main character was hard to connect with.

It’s such a short read I would usually push through to give it a proper review but I have too many books signed out right now that need my attention.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absurdly funny

A satire of reality TV, with Jo Firestone's trademark absurd humor. I LOLed. The audio version is great; I bought the book because I was inpatient to find out who done it.

[Jillian B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ordinary Staten Island woman Marie Jones moonlights as glamorous detective Luella von Horn. With the help of a wig, heavy makeup and false teeth, she morphs into her alter ego. And Luella has just booked her biggest case yet. A contestant has gone missing from the set of Sex Island, reality TV’s steamiest competition show. They’re sending Luella in to investigate…as a contestant. Can she solve the mystery while surviving the cutthroat world of reality TV?

This book was one of the funniest I’ve read all year. It’s a silly satire of Love Island that totally worked for me. I’m not usually a cozy mystery person but this one hit the sweet spot for me because while the tension was low, the humour had a satisfying edge. I also love that Luella is depicted as wildly out of place among the super-modelesque contestants. She doesn’t get a crazy glow up, she just gets to be an average looking woman, which is honestly shockingly rare in any sort of media. Her average looks are a source of humour, but it feels relatable rather than cruel. This book was pure joy and I will 100% be checking out its sequel!

[Isak Nash · Rating 3 out of 5]

I LOATHE good reads not allowing .5 to the rankings.l, like 3/5 is too low but 4/5 is too high.

This book was SO fun and entertaining, I was giggling near the entire time. I want more Luella Van Horn mysteries. I knew exactly what to expect after the two page prologue, and was obsessed almost the whole time.

[Chee · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Don’t be pull off by the title and cover. This is fun to read and I couldn’t put it down until I finished it. Highly recommended for mystery book-lovers who need a good laugh.

[Aneeqah Ahmed · Rating 2 out of 5]

silly and mildly entertaining but even being satire it was too corny to stomach

[Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book felt too juvenile in the mystery-solving aspect, while also being not very funny:/

[Manon (mysterymanon) · Rating 4 out of 5]

F***ing hilarious and clever to boot. Somehow I found the conclusion both supremely obvious and quite surprising, so that was quite fun.

Loved her voice, so I’m looking forward to the sequel :0)

[Stephanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

A book club read- In no way did I expect this to be good, but I didn’t expect it to be one of the worst books I’ve ever read. I would bet my life on the author being an ex wattpad fan-fiction writer in 2012.

[Ava-Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably one of the quickest books to read. I just couldn’t put it down! I loved this book and the main character, I actually laughed out loud a few times! I definitely recommend if you like a comedic murder mystery.

[Kait Lawson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Exercising my free will to DNF - this book is supposed to be a saterical take on love island but I’m halfway and just so uninterested. Also the premise for this made zero sense. The show calls the main character to come
Investigate a murder based on the fact that she previously found a missing dog. I know the author is a comedian - but something’s not landing for me with the writing.

Thank you penguin random house for the free copy. All opinions are my own!

[Casey Morrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG I LOVE JO FIRESTONE. This book was amazing and hilarious and suspenseful, and her reading it was the absolute best!!!! Highly recommend. Can’t wait to read my physical copy too!

[Casey · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have Love Island withdrawals and also dig silly murder mysteries, you will enjoy this as much as I did.

[Megan Matheson · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you mix Love Island, The Bachelor, and a murder this is that book. A very easy read and funny.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a fun, modern cozy mystery! Read it in a day.

[Sydney Bonnin · Rating 3 out of 5]

so silly

[emma arnold · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you love Jo Firestone and you love reality tv, this is the book for you! Jo’s voice really came through and had me laughing throughout the pages and the mystery had me on the edge of my seat the entire book! Love love loved it!

[Sam Wescott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your experience of this book is going to hinge solely on how well your sense of humor lines up with Jo Firestone’s and I am pleased to announce that we’re a perfect match. This book was so silly and often made no logical sense and I couldn’t even describe the mystery to you because I struggled to tell the Sex Island contestants apart, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also listened to the audiobook at a MUCH slower speed than normal because it is actually criminal to overly distort Firestone’s voice. Honestly, an absolute treat of a book.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightful and incredibly fun mystery. The audio version is a must as the author adds so much with her unique voice and perfect comedic timing. A great audio book for a road trip or girls weekend away.

[Jess · Rating 1 out of 5]

So silly and stupid. And not in a fun way. In a genuinely bad way.

[Chuck Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a fun, goofy little mystery novel! It reminded me so much of the Finlay Donovan series of books and this one was equally as fun to read. As a fan of trashy reality television, this novel was right up my alley. The characters were all silly and fun to read about & even though the writing style was more on the funny-side, there still was a good mystery at the heart of this novel & I really enjoyed how the author was able to incorporate humor into her writing and how the book read very conversationally. Overall this was a super funny read that I couldn’t put down!

[Jessi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun & quirky cozy mystery set on an island playing host to a sex-themed reality show. It was self/published originally & is expected to be the first in a series, and I plan to read the follow up. The sequel is being released in 2026.

Marie Jones is a former social worker from Staten Island who leads a double life as a private eye, complete with wigs & fake teeth. She mostly finds missing dogs, but she’s recruited to find a missing contestant from her favorite show, Sex Island.

[Abbie Kat · Rating 3 out of 5]

A silly, satirical mystery following an amateur detective investigating a murder on the set of a raunchy reality show. This was an amusing, quick read.

Thanks for Random House and NetGalley for the ARC!

[Maaike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dit was zooo een lekker boekje. Fast paced, enorm grappig, een satire op de reality shows van tegenwoordig. Erg genoten!

[Lauren Speers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just wonderful, silly fun! I mostly listened to the podcast of Jo Firestone reading this herself, and I could not put it down. I already bought the Kindle version, but now I'm also tempted to buy a physical copy so I can loan it to all my friends. (You guys know who you are, and you should read this!)

Shout out to the Mean Book Club podcast for making me aware of Murder on Sex Island!

[Caroline Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is my "i love LA"

[Mason Neil · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this for the Straightiolab book club. Not for me! But happy to participate in a parasocial bestie read along.