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Only the Living Feel Remorse: A Ghost Story
Some mistakes will haunt you to the end.Imagine being haunted by a ghost. In life, he was your best friend. Now he wants you dead.
Who would you turn to for help? How far would you go to escape? How much would you be willing to sacrifice?
This is the gripping story of a flawed man who finds himself in a deep well of misery, haunted by his past, desperate for a way out. Will he be able to save himself? Or will the price prove to be too high?
"Only the Living Feel Remorse" is a suspenseful yet fast-paced horror novella. It tells the story of a friendship gone bad, a vengeful ghost and neo-pagan blood rituals which end up costing you much more than you bargained for.
Who would you turn to for help? How far would you go to escape? How much would you be willing to sacrifice?
This is the gripping story of a flawed man who finds himself in a deep well of misery, haunted by his past, desperate for a way out. Will he be able to save himself? Or will the price prove to be too high?
"Only the Living Feel Remorse" is a suspenseful yet fast-paced horror novella. It tells the story of a friendship gone bad, a vengeful ghost and neo-pagan blood rituals which end up costing you much more than you bargained for.
130 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 4, 2023
About the author
Ash Deza
2 books4 followersAsh Deza is a general-purpose geek living in the Netherlands, who splits his time between writing software and prose.
When he isn't exploring the dark recesses of his own mind by writing fiction, he is out exploring the world by bicycle or locked into his study building scale models of spaceships.
When he isn't exploring the dark recesses of his own mind by writing fiction, he is out exploring the world by bicycle or locked into his study building scale models of spaceships.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
October 5, 2023
Life isn’t fair…and neither is death.
The main character was a violent, dangerous, and deeply flawed man who I nonetheless still found fascinating due to his creativity and resourcefulness. While many people are able to rise above difficult childhoods, he’d never had the time, money, or social support as an adult to seek the professional help he needed to do the same. This is in no way an excuse of his actions, but it did help to explain why he had such a short temper and often assumed the worst of others. It’s definitely not easy to strike a balance between writing an unlikeable character and giving the audience something about that individual that makes us want to get to know them better , so I tip my cap to Mr. Deza for pulling it off so nicely.
It would have been helpful to develop the supernatural elements of the storyline more thoroughly. I’m specifically thinking here of Father Perry’s reaction when the protagonist went to him for an exorcism and what the priest had to say about his church’s modern approach to the subjects of hauntings and demonic possessions. There was a room there for expansion, and I would have gone for a full five-star rating if all of that had been explained more clearly.
This novella had excellent world building that did not show up immediately. Most stories begin working on it from the opening scene, so it was a pleasant surprise to be about halfway through the plot and suddenly realize just how much I had left to learn about this world. I admire authors who take risks like these, especially when they work so well with what has already unfolded in the storyline. Would I have loved to dive even more deeply into how neo-pagan blood rituals work in this universe? Absolutely, but there was more than enough information provided here for me to understand what was going on and why the main character was tasked with such bloody objectives. Leaving a reader yearning for more is a good thing!
Only the Living Feel Remorse is a great choice for horror fans who are looking for something sobering and well written.
The main character was a violent, dangerous, and deeply flawed man who I nonetheless still found fascinating due to his creativity and resourcefulness. While many people are able to rise above difficult childhoods, he’d never had the time, money, or social support as an adult to seek the professional help he needed to do the same. This is in no way an excuse of his actions, but it did help to explain why he had such a short temper and often assumed the worst of others. It’s definitely not easy to strike a balance between writing an unlikeable character and giving the audience something about that individual that makes us want to get to know them better , so I tip my cap to Mr. Deza for pulling it off so nicely.
It would have been helpful to develop the supernatural elements of the storyline more thoroughly. I’m specifically thinking here of Father Perry’s reaction when the protagonist went to him for an exorcism and what the priest had to say about his church’s modern approach to the subjects of hauntings and demonic possessions. There was a room there for expansion, and I would have gone for a full five-star rating if all of that had been explained more clearly.
This novella had excellent world building that did not show up immediately. Most stories begin working on it from the opening scene, so it was a pleasant surprise to be about halfway through the plot and suddenly realize just how much I had left to learn about this world. I admire authors who take risks like these, especially when they work so well with what has already unfolded in the storyline. Would I have loved to dive even more deeply into how neo-pagan blood rituals work in this universe? Absolutely, but there was more than enough information provided here for me to understand what was going on and why the main character was tasked with such bloody objectives. Leaving a reader yearning for more is a good thing!
Only the Living Feel Remorse is a great choice for horror fans who are looking for something sobering and well written.
November 9, 2023
I almost never finish books where I hate the main character this much. The fact that I didn’t just finish but blasted through this one at full speed is saying something about the quality of the writing.
In this horror novella, all the ingredients are there: blood, pain, love, gore, magic (what? Yes!), friendship, regret and anger. But almost none of it is in the way you’d expect. The author takes the feelings you know and twists them until you find yourself feeling sorry for a man you dislike (at least up until the moment he shows you again why you hated him) and regretting plot points you thought you wanted to see happen.
The writing is colourful and vivid enough to make you physically wince at the more disgusting parts (those damn pliers, anyone?) but doesn’t tip over into cliche horror talk, which is no small feat.
It has a bit of trouble with pacing here and there, giving it a slightly inconsistent tempo sometimes. But since that is one of the toughest parts of any lengthy story and this is a first novella, I feel like the author can be excused there.
In short, a strong debut to recommend to your horror loving friends!
In this horror novella, all the ingredients are there: blood, pain, love, gore, magic (what? Yes!), friendship, regret and anger. But almost none of it is in the way you’d expect. The author takes the feelings you know and twists them until you find yourself feeling sorry for a man you dislike (at least up until the moment he shows you again why you hated him) and regretting plot points you thought you wanted to see happen.
The writing is colourful and vivid enough to make you physically wince at the more disgusting parts (those damn pliers, anyone?) but doesn’t tip over into cliche horror talk, which is no small feat.
It has a bit of trouble with pacing here and there, giving it a slightly inconsistent tempo sometimes. But since that is one of the toughest parts of any lengthy story and this is a first novella, I feel like the author can be excused there.
In short, a strong debut to recommend to your horror loving friends!
October 23, 2023
I told the author I would be brutally honest.. So here is my honest review about ‘Only the living feel remorse’.
This is a short horror story and Ash described the background of the story and the characters very well! It was definitely enough to see the whole picture.
The short chapters, the smooth writing style made it fast paced and easy to read.
There's a lot going on in this story that kept it from being boring and you can definitely feel that it's building up to something!
The characters were interesting, but I’m not sure if I liked the* main character Michael.
He’s full of self pity and that made him annoying from time to time*.
You sympathize with him but on the other hand you despise him because he did something terrible.
He just didn't seem completely credible to me because he knows he has done something bad but also shouts* very loud that it is not his fault. (Dude, you killed your best friend!)
Some of his choices didn’t make sense, that could be worked out better in my opinion. (Just to feel it more).
His personality felt a bit like Jekyll and Hyde sometimes. But that also had its charm.
My feelings might have been different if it had been written in* third person.
There were clear differences between classes (the ones who got to college and the ones*? who didn’t*).
The relationships and dynamics between characters were visible and sensible.
The graphics were awesome and I absolutely loved the gory parts! 😍🫶🏻🖤
It was a fun and quick read. A haunting story of making wrong choices, grief and remorse.
I really loved the end of this story and it left me with an uneasy feeling.
This is a short horror story and Ash described the background of the story and the characters very well! It was definitely enough to see the whole picture.
The short chapters, the smooth writing style made it fast paced and easy to read.
There's a lot going on in this story that kept it from being boring and you can definitely feel that it's building up to something!
The characters were interesting, but I’m not sure if I liked the* main character Michael.
He’s full of self pity and that made him annoying from time to time*.
You sympathize with him but on the other hand you despise him because he did something terrible.
He just didn't seem completely credible to me because he knows he has done something bad but also shouts* very loud that it is not his fault. (Dude, you killed your best friend!)
Some of his choices didn’t make sense, that could be worked out better in my opinion. (Just to feel it more).
His personality felt a bit like Jekyll and Hyde sometimes. But that also had its charm.
My feelings might have been different if it had been written in* third person.
There were clear differences between classes (the ones who got to college and the ones*? who didn’t*).
The relationships and dynamics between characters were visible and sensible.
The graphics were awesome and I absolutely loved the gory parts! 😍🫶🏻🖤
It was a fun and quick read. A haunting story of making wrong choices, grief and remorse.
I really loved the end of this story and it left me with an uneasy feeling.
October 19, 2023
Hoooo-ly shit this book. Once I got past *why* the protagonist was haunted I could not put it down and finished it in one sitting.
It's so much more than just a ghost story, it's about guilt, grief, (unhealthy) coping mechanisms and coming face to face with your mistakes.
The atmosphere, the visual writing and the ideas brought on by this book were incredible. I had to read through my fingers to get through two sections of the story and was constantly wondering WHY the heck I was rooting for this awful main character. I physically winced and yelled NO at this book, which I don't think I've done before.
I struggled a bit with getting into the story at the beginning, but it quickly picked up. It is a novella so it's moving pretty quickly, but some of the coincidences that moved the plot forward pulled me a tiny bit out of the book.
I do want to learn more about the supernatural elements of this world. It isn't delved in too deeply, but the parts that we're in there made me thirst for more. I'd love to ask the author more about it.
The subject matter is HEAVY. The content warnings are there for a reason. So if you're not up for it, no worries, come back in a better headspace or give this one a skip. But if you like dark visceral horror, I definitely recommend this book.
4.5*
It's so much more than just a ghost story, it's about guilt, grief, (unhealthy) coping mechanisms and coming face to face with your mistakes.
The atmosphere, the visual writing and the ideas brought on by this book were incredible. I had to read through my fingers to get through two sections of the story and was constantly wondering WHY the heck I was rooting for this awful main character. I physically winced and yelled NO at this book, which I don't think I've done before.
I struggled a bit with getting into the story at the beginning, but it quickly picked up. It is a novella so it's moving pretty quickly, but some of the coincidences that moved the plot forward pulled me a tiny bit out of the book.
I do want to learn more about the supernatural elements of this world. It isn't delved in too deeply, but the parts that we're in there made me thirst for more. I'd love to ask the author more about it.
The subject matter is HEAVY. The content warnings are there for a reason. So if you're not up for it, no worries, come back in a better headspace or give this one a skip. But if you like dark visceral horror, I definitely recommend this book.
4.5*
August 19, 2025
I bought the book directly from Ash,
First of all, I am not a book reader. I have issues reading 10 pages a day. However, I decided I really need to read more, and when the holidays came up, I decided to read Ash's story. I'm usually more into sci-fi, and would be my first pick to read. However, I cannot pass a good horror story.
I usually think the best horror stories are close to reality and tickles the psyche. This one for sure is.
With every thing I like, it can be a bit hard to get into. The reason for this is, to get really into a setting, and trying to understand and create the surroundings and pictures in my head to set the stage. (I'm able to imagine sensory aspects, if that makes sense). The foreword threw me a bit off, but really helped set the stage. Definitely don't skip it.
Without spoilers, I really enjoy the slower start (like the stories of Stephen King). It all starts normal... from a teen story into a more romantic drama that transgress to thrillen and ends up horror. Aside, the start of the story falls a little short on details on the setting, so there is a lot of assuming. When the story continues, details seem to come more and more. So while the story unfolds, so does its environment and become more vivid.
There are a couple of things that throw you off your ideas. I enjoy, that what I had in mind, was not the case.
I can't believe I've read hundred pages a few hours. For me, that sais a lot. Read it!
First of all, I am not a book reader. I have issues reading 10 pages a day. However, I decided I really need to read more, and when the holidays came up, I decided to read Ash's story. I'm usually more into sci-fi, and would be my first pick to read. However, I cannot pass a good horror story.
I usually think the best horror stories are close to reality and tickles the psyche. This one for sure is.
With every thing I like, it can be a bit hard to get into. The reason for this is, to get really into a setting, and trying to understand and create the surroundings and pictures in my head to set the stage. (I'm able to imagine sensory aspects, if that makes sense). The foreword threw me a bit off, but really helped set the stage. Definitely don't skip it.
Without spoilers, I really enjoy the slower start (like the stories of Stephen King). It all starts normal... from a teen story into a more romantic drama that transgress to thrillen and ends up horror. Aside, the start of the story falls a little short on details on the setting, so there is a lot of assuming. When the story continues, details seem to come more and more. So while the story unfolds, so does its environment and become more vivid.
There are a couple of things that throw you off your ideas. I enjoy, that what I had in mind, was not the case.
I can't believe I've read hundred pages a few hours. For me, that sais a lot. Read it!
December 10, 2023
This is a short read that packs a lot and I mean it in terms of action, character progression, writing quality and surprise factors!
There's a lot of ghost stories out there but in my opinion this one is very original with occult elements that I loved.. There are several painful passages and I discovered new muscles in my face I didn't know from how many faces I was pulling reading through them! And I loved it, testament to the writing skills of the author.
As the story unravels we understand that the plot is not simple as it seems, until the very end where we're confronted with the brutal reality and the level of desperation of the main character Michael..
I highly recommend this fast paced novella, full of raw emotions and pain, delving into core human feelings with the convictions of one desperate man resulting in the demise of his friends' lives and ultimately his own..
Thanks to Ash Deza for a copy and this is my honest opinion.
There's a lot of ghost stories out there but in my opinion this one is very original with occult elements that I loved.. There are several painful passages and I discovered new muscles in my face I didn't know from how many faces I was pulling reading through them! And I loved it, testament to the writing skills of the author.
As the story unravels we understand that the plot is not simple as it seems, until the very end where we're confronted with the brutal reality and the level of desperation of the main character Michael..
I highly recommend this fast paced novella, full of raw emotions and pain, delving into core human feelings with the convictions of one desperate man resulting in the demise of his friends' lives and ultimately his own..
Thanks to Ash Deza for a copy and this is my honest opinion.
October 27, 2023
Brutal. Raw. Sickening. Extreme sadness. Hopelessness and tragic. These are a few words that I felt while reading this novella. This is grief horror at its best and a ghost story unlike any other that I've ever read.
Imagine your best friend haunting you. Now imagine them trying to kill you every chance they get. That's what Michael is dealing with. Over the course of some tragic events, Michael's best friend John is dead and now haunts him, trying to kill him every time he goes to sleep. How far will Michael go to be rid of his ghost? Can he really outrun his past?
Imagine your best friend haunting you. Now imagine them trying to kill you every chance they get. That's what Michael is dealing with. Over the course of some tragic events, Michael's best friend John is dead and now haunts him, trying to kill him every time he goes to sleep. How far will Michael go to be rid of his ghost? Can he really outrun his past?
November 15, 2023
I really enjoyed this book. The story was fresh and compelling. I could not put it down. But I also had a strong hate for the main character. This hate might have made the story more fun for me because I wanted bad things to happen to him. Highly recommend for anyone looking for a fast paced ghost story!
October 11, 2023
**Rounded up from 3.5
“Balancing on the edge of [one's] own demise” this short yet poignant novella explores the darkest depths of humanity. Deza, unmatched in his storytelling ability, vividly paints a masterful picture artfully summoning a visceral reaction through his palpable prose.
While I am rarely moved by gore or body horror his ability to conjure realistic imagery had me shifting in my chair; whilst remaining on a graphic level at that, never gratuitous.
Unfortunately at the 60-70% mark, the pacing becomes inconsistent. It slows and becomes verbose and overly detailed, finds even pacing, and then slows again.
I however can admit I’m nit-picky, and believe that many of my fellow bibliophiles here won’t let this be an issue. Aside from one last-minute left-field character, these are my only small gripes.
This was a solid and highly enjoyable debut novella from Author Ash Deza. With a combination of paranormal, gore, psychological, and social sub-genres this is sure to satisfy a rainbow of horror readers’ tastes.
“Balancing on the edge of [one's] own demise” this short yet poignant novella explores the darkest depths of humanity. Deza, unmatched in his storytelling ability, vividly paints a masterful picture artfully summoning a visceral reaction through his palpable prose.
While I am rarely moved by gore or body horror his ability to conjure realistic imagery had me shifting in my chair; whilst remaining on a graphic level at that, never gratuitous.
Unfortunately at the 60-70% mark, the pacing becomes inconsistent. It slows and becomes verbose and overly detailed, finds even pacing, and then slows again.
I however can admit I’m nit-picky, and believe that many of my fellow bibliophiles here won’t let this be an issue. Aside from one last-minute left-field character, these are my only small gripes.
This was a solid and highly enjoyable debut novella from Author Ash Deza. With a combination of paranormal, gore, psychological, and social sub-genres this is sure to satisfy a rainbow of horror readers’ tastes.
October 19, 2023
After finishing this book, I quietly closed the cover, leaned back in my chair, and whispered, "holy hell, what a ride."
Only the Living Feel Remorse is a horror story of how jealousy can ruin friendships—and lives.
In some ways it's a tragedy. A young man dealt a poor hand, searching for peace in a world he feels is unfair. In other ways it's enraging. The entitlement of that young man, and those he aligns himself with, is all too common in our patriarchal society today.
I'm not usually a fan of horror, so I was nervous to read this. But this story is more than that. Its flawed morality makes one think about their own morals, which—in my opinion—is the most haunting thing about it. Yes, there's gore and graphic depictions, but that's not what kept me reading.
Do we let jealousy, envy, and misplaced anger taint our relationships? Hopefully not to this extent...
I told myself I wouldn't read this at night, but I couldn't stop myself. I *needed* to know what happened to that young man, and the lives he destroyed. I wasn't disappointed, and I'm sure you won't be, either.
Only the Living Feel Remorse is a horror story of how jealousy can ruin friendships—and lives.
In some ways it's a tragedy. A young man dealt a poor hand, searching for peace in a world he feels is unfair. In other ways it's enraging. The entitlement of that young man, and those he aligns himself with, is all too common in our patriarchal society today.
I'm not usually a fan of horror, so I was nervous to read this. But this story is more than that. Its flawed morality makes one think about their own morals, which—in my opinion—is the most haunting thing about it. Yes, there's gore and graphic depictions, but that's not what kept me reading.
Do we let jealousy, envy, and misplaced anger taint our relationships? Hopefully not to this extent...
I told myself I wouldn't read this at night, but I couldn't stop myself. I *needed* to know what happened to that young man, and the lives he destroyed. I wasn't disappointed, and I'm sure you won't be, either.
September 15, 2023
This novella is a face paced read that had me hooked from the beginning.
It is definitely horror ghost story and fairly graphic gore in parts but it is not gratuitous but a key part of the plot. It is testament to the writing that there were a few pages in the middle that I had to skim by because I couldn't deal with the level of gore. It was so well written that I could picture what was happening so clearly and if it had been a movie it would have been the part I watched from behind a cushion.
The story is a ghost story but really it's about resentment, jealousy, mental health, guilt and the awful choices that can be the result of those things.
If you like dark horror stories then this is definitely for you. It's a short, fast, intense read and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
It is definitely horror ghost story and fairly graphic gore in parts but it is not gratuitous but a key part of the plot. It is testament to the writing that there were a few pages in the middle that I had to skim by because I couldn't deal with the level of gore. It was so well written that I could picture what was happening so clearly and if it had been a movie it would have been the part I watched from behind a cushion.
The story is a ghost story but really it's about resentment, jealousy, mental health, guilt and the awful choices that can be the result of those things.
If you like dark horror stories then this is definitely for you. It's a short, fast, intense read and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
September 10, 2023
Interesting read about a life going wrong
September 19, 2023
Nice dark horror without it being to scary and a nice depiction of the pitfalls of patriarchy.
Also light enough to read on vacation
Also light enough to read on vacation
November 9, 2023
I found this book to be gritty, gory, and horrific. I liked it :)
The main character is deeply flawed; he's not somebody I'd want in my life, but that's what makes him interesting here. At times I felt sympathy for him, other times I wanted him to get everything he deserved. It takes an interesting, well-drawn character to bring about those sorts of conflicting emotions.
As a pagan IRL, I was concerned up front about the use of "neo-pagan blood rituals" in the description, but by the time that section came up in the story, it didn't bother me as much. The characters involved were drawn as neo-Nazi occultists rather than neo-pagans, and that meant part of the story led to wondering which characters were worse: the Nazis or the protagonist. The ghost, for all of the attempted malevolence, remained sympathetic throughout.
It's a dark story populated with dark actors no matter how you look at it; the "nice" characters didn't get anywhere near as much time on stage as the others. And I think that, in part, is what made it work so well.
The main character is deeply flawed; he's not somebody I'd want in my life, but that's what makes him interesting here. At times I felt sympathy for him, other times I wanted him to get everything he deserved. It takes an interesting, well-drawn character to bring about those sorts of conflicting emotions.
As a pagan IRL, I was concerned up front about the use of "neo-pagan blood rituals" in the description, but by the time that section came up in the story, it didn't bother me as much. The characters involved were drawn as neo-Nazi occultists rather than neo-pagans, and that meant part of the story led to wondering which characters were worse: the Nazis or the protagonist. The ghost, for all of the attempted malevolence, remained sympathetic throughout.
It's a dark story populated with dark actors no matter how you look at it; the "nice" characters didn't get anywhere near as much time on stage as the others. And I think that, in part, is what made it work so well.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews