Lads: A Guide to Respect and Consent - Step Up, Speak Out and Create Positive Change

by Alan Bissett

In a world full of negative influences, LADS is a toolkit for teenage boys on respect and consent, helping them call out bad behaviour and giving them the confidence to be their best selves.

Have you ever been in a situation where there's a loud guy making dodgy comments, cracking jokes that only he thinks are funny or leering at the girls in the room? You can feel the tension, right? That Guy is the worst, but no one is saying anything, because the whole situation is intimidating and awkward.

This toolkit will help you call out bad behaviour and understand the serious issues facing girls today. And it will make you feel confident navigating relationships, so that everyone feels happy, heard and respected, while being the best version of yourself.

From flirting disasters and what staying in the friend zone really means, to the perils of porn, 'locker room talk' and the importance of consent, this is a vital handbook for lads who are fed up of That Guy, and who want to help create positive change.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

208 pages, Paperback

Published August 3, 2023

Reviews

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be given to every year 9 in the country. Male or female

[j0shk_159 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adri was right

[Jenny Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Young men need to read this. As a mother of sons and a teacher of teenagers I needed to read this.

[Jacqueline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this because we just got it in at work and I feel every boy/man should read this! I thought it was excellent and will be recommending it to everyone.

[Bev · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this book 10 stars out of 5 I would do it in an instant, it is a well written, important and much needed handbook of how to be a good guy that should be in every secondary school library in the land. Bissett writes in a conversational style that feels like he’s talking to every boy that reads it, not accusing, very positively giving young men strategies for avoiding poor behaviour towards women themselves and helping them challenge their friends too. I find I don’t have the words to express just how vital I think this book is - it needs to be put into the hands of as many teenage boys as possible.

[Agent_bugs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am very much not the target audience for this book, but as I'd like to recommend it to some people I thought it was important to read it first.

This is an important look at issues of harassment and consent from the perspective of teenage boys who may be feeling unfairly accused. It's a little surface level, but given that it may be the first time any of these teens have been exposed to the ideas it does a good job. My main issue is that some of the "jokes" will be dated pretty soon as they reference popular culture, but for the meantime it should be a good resource for teaching about consent and common decency.

[Rebecca R · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Lads' is a straight-talking, engaging and empowering toolkit for teenage boys on how not to be 'that guy' - whether it is the one who is making comments that make everyone uncomfortable, the one who pushes boundaries and takes things too far, or even the 'nice guy' who is frustrated that their behaviour is not getting the response they had hoped for, and beyond that, how to be a 'good guy' - how to treat everyone with respect.

It covers some vital topics like porn addiction, consent and the Andrew Tate-style toxic masculinity that has become so prevalent, but also gives practical tips on things to say to diffuse an awkward situation when your friends are the ones making inappropriate comments.

This should be required reading for teenagers, and I'd highly recommend it for parents and anyone working with teenagers - a succinct, honest and important read.

[Rissa Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this with my two high school children (son 14 and daughter 12). Some themes were quite mature but it gave us some great conversation starters to have a really open and frank discussion around topics that will become more and more relevant over the next few years. I believe this is helping to establish a good foundation of respecting others that they can continue to build on individually and we also can together as a family.

These are important discussions that all parents should be having with their children.

[I Read, Therefore I Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alan Bissett is a novelist, playwright and performer. This conversational antidote to toxic masculinity for readers aged 13+ combines personal anecdote with empathy and practical advice to tackle topics like internet porn, being ‘friend zoned’ and ‘locker room talk’. It’s well done (including the page design, which gets across the key messages) but the readers who pick this up are probably the ones who don’t need it in the first place.

[Barbara Ridley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bit of weekend reading … it was a brilliant read and although I know my boys won’t read it as they don’t ‘do reading,’ I will be discussing some of the topics with them. I particularly liked the What You Can Do sections at the end of each chapter with practical suggestions on how to ‘call out’ friends on their bad behaviour towards women and how to be the best version of themselves. Some really simple but hopefully effective advice for our boys, well worth a read.

[Jasmine - The Librarian's Bookcase · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant and important read for all lads. It talks of topics that we would want lads to be aware of, addressing the 'lads culture' and how to, essentially, be a nicer human being. This book is a must read for any teenager that either wants to know how to be better, but also to those that need a wake-up call about their own behaviours. This book is a necessity for school libraries!

[Joe Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a young man, used to be a young man or know any young men, you should read this. Just to make sure that they become good men

[Catriona · Rating 5 out of 5]

A triumph

[Adri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing everyone should read this book you can borrow it from the school library please read it if you have some spare time it will be worth it trust me

[Vicky Rodd · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really helpful book

[Kitchen Sink Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are a number of books which have been written to help teenagers face the changes that they will begin to experience but whilst many focus on body changes, tackling school and exams, friendships, few (that I have come across), address the issues of respect and consent. Alan Bissett’s Lads. A Guide to Respect and Consent is now changing that with its toolkit of advice on not just respect and consent but also recognising bad behaviour and having the confidence to be who they are, who they want to be. It is not unusual for teenage boys to not know what is acceptable and what isn’t, rather than rely on the internet they now have a book to turn to.

How does this book work, how does an author give boys a toolkit? It’s very clever. Alan Bissett has set his book in the reader’s own house where there is a party taking place. You want it to be the party everyone talks about for months to come, for all the right reasons, girls and lads will be there and you want to see everyone enjoying themselves ~ chatting, dancing. What you don’t want to see is that guy. The one who makes the tension in the room rachet up, makes inappropriate jokes, is possibly drunk. Now we have the setting the book guides its reader through flirting, porn, locker room chat, nice guys, bad guys, and good guys, all the while giving plenty of useful advice about the best way to behave and act. It’s most definitely a vital book for teen boys, helping to create a culture of positive change.

Merged review:

There are a number of books which have been written to help teenagers face the changes that they will begin to experience but whilst many focus on body changes, tackling school and exams, friendships, few (that I have come across), address the issues of respect and consent. Alan Bissett’s Lads. A Guide to Respect and Consent is now changing that with its toolkit of advice on not just respect and consent but also recognising bad behaviour and having the confidence to be who they are, who they want to be. It is not unusual for teenage boys to not know what is acceptable and what isn’t, rather than rely on the internet they now have a book to turn to.

How does this book work, how does an author give boys a toolkit? It’s very clever. Alan Bissett has set his book in the reader’s own house where there is a party taking place. You want it to be the party everyone talks about for months to come, for all the right reasons, girls and lads will be there and you want to see everyone enjoying themselves ~ chatting, dancing. What you don’t want to see is that guy. The one who makes the tension in the room rachet up, makes inappropriate jokes, is possibly drunk. Now we have the setting the book guides its reader through flirting, porn, locker room chat, nice guys, bad guys, and good guys, all the while giving plenty of useful advice about the best way to behave and act. It’s most definitely a vital book for teen boys, helping to create a culture of positive change.