Forgiveness

by Abraham J. Twerski

Someone steps on your toe and apologizes; you forgive him. But what if someone steps on your ego? On your bank account? On your life? Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski - beloved author, talmid chacham, and psychiatrist - shows us how vitally important it is to

Genres: Judaism

208 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Abraham Joshua Twerski (Hebrew: אֲבְרָהָם יְהוֹשֻׁע טווערסקי‎) was an Israeli-American Hasidic rabbi, a scion of the Chernobyl Hasidic dynasty, and a psychiatrist specializing in substance abuse.

Reviews

[Christine Silk · Rating 5 out of 5]

The late Dr. Twerski was a psychiatrist specializing in addiction and drug abuse, and he was also a rabbi. His unique skill-stack -- combining modern knowledge of psychiatry with a command of Jewish scholarship that spans thousands of years -- makes for a fascinating perspective that I've not seen anywhere else. In our culture, we are taught that forgiveness demonstrates love for the one who wronged you, and this kind of altruism is held up as an ideal. Dr. Twerski takes a radically different approach. He argues that forgiveness not about the person who wronged you, it is about freeing yourself from a destructive mindset that will fester in your subconscious whether you acknowledge it or not. That destructive mindset will negatively impact your life and relationships. He compares people who hang on to resentment to people who compulsively hoard things such as empty bottles and newspapers: they believe they will one day have a use for these things, just as the one who holds resentment has the fantasy that he will one day avenge himself on the offender (p. 191). Twerski asserts that "the only way to detach from the object of resentment is to forgive" (p. 129) and that "to forgive means getting rid of your resentment so that it does not complicate your life" (p. 106). It's not about whether the other person "deserves" forgiveness. That is irrelevant. It's about discarding resentment and rage so that one can live a better life and become a better person.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book some time ago and just got around to reading it this summer. I found much there that was useful to me, and that was thought provoking. His take on forgiveness is a little different, not violently so, than many and I think that helped; it was a fresh view to me. I did not read it straight through, I read a chapter a day as part of my daily studies, took notes, and found it very helpful. Anything I had to read to twice was on me and my lack of understanding, not his writing; I found it very accessible. The Rabbi and I come from different faiths, but truth is truth, and this book will make you think about forgiveness and just maybe make it easier to do.

[andrew y · Rating 5 out of 5]

33/50
In 2023 I am going to dust off and read fifty books from my to-read list.

Dr. Twerski was very strongly recommended to me and ever since I have genuinely enjoyed his trademark mix of genuine spiritual and psychological wisdom. Without overstating, this book is one of the few I’d recommend as a read for absolutely everyone.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an approachable and useful book about the topic of forgiveness and why it's an important concept to realize. Rabbi Twerski discusses the importance of why we should forgive others (hint: it's for our personal best interest), and the psychological undercurrents which keep a person from applying forgiveness in their lives.

This is not a long book, but it's very well (and thoughtfully) written. Personally, I've found it helpful to read a chapter a day and then think about what I just read and how I can apply the concepts.