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Granny
There’s something not quite right about GRANNY.
She may appear sweet and innocent but harbors an unusual secret, a secret that dwells deep within the crawl space beneath her house and churns in the blackened chambers of her heart. No one is safe as she stalks the schools and bingo halls around town.
Fast-paced, mischievous mayhem abounds in this bizarro splatter masterpiece from the twisted minds of McHardy & Hawker.
She may appear sweet and innocent but harbors an unusual secret, a secret that dwells deep within the crawl space beneath her house and churns in the blackened chambers of her heart. No one is safe as she stalks the schools and bingo halls around town.
Fast-paced, mischievous mayhem abounds in this bizarro splatter masterpiece from the twisted minds of McHardy & Hawker.
- GenresHorror
ebook
Published September 27, 2023
About the author
Simon McHardy
43 books299 followersSimon McHardy is the author of the infamous MOTHER MAGGOT. He lives a reclusive life in Tasmania Australia. Due to the extreme nature of his books, most are exclusive to Godless.com.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
September 19, 2023
Always a fabulously hilarious time with these two 🤣
I love “Princess C@nt” 🐈⬛
RTC
*REVIEW*
I absolutely adore these 2 reprobates, and when they approached me, and said I was going to be the main character in their next book, I nearly peed my panties with excitement 🤣
Granny (moi) is a lesbian murderess, who can shapeshift into a fluffy black cat (my furball Coco) called “Princess Cunt” 🤣🤣🤣
They roam the streets killing all who they come across…kids, adults, dogs, cats…nobody is safe!!
After being investigated by the police, for a crime she DID commit, Granny shapeshift’s into Princess C* and outruns the police, and remains at large…
If you’re familiar with the McHardy/Hawker “dream team”, then you will know this is full of obscenities, unPC goodness and bloody great fun…and I freaking LOVE them 🥰 like the brothers I never had ❤️
This was made even more special knowing they had dedicated the book to my beautiful mum, who is no longer with us ❤️ THANK YOU GUYS 🫶🏻
As always, nothing less than…
5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Available: September 27th 2023
I love “Princess C@nt” 🐈⬛
RTC
*REVIEW*
I absolutely adore these 2 reprobates, and when they approached me, and said I was going to be the main character in their next book, I nearly peed my panties with excitement 🤣
Granny (moi) is a lesbian murderess, who can shapeshift into a fluffy black cat (my furball Coco) called “Princess Cunt” 🤣🤣🤣
They roam the streets killing all who they come across…kids, adults, dogs, cats…nobody is safe!!
After being investigated by the police, for a crime she DID commit, Granny shapeshift’s into Princess C* and outruns the police, and remains at large…
If you’re familiar with the McHardy/Hawker “dream team”, then you will know this is full of obscenities, unPC goodness and bloody great fun…and I freaking LOVE them 🥰 like the brothers I never had ❤️
This was made even more special knowing they had dedicated the book to my beautiful mum, who is no longer with us ❤️ THANK YOU GUYS 🫶🏻
As always, nothing less than…
5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Available: September 27th 2023
September 28, 2023
Cheryl Tunt? No, it's Princess C_t. Cat. Elderly senior citizen Granny is a shapeshifter. She is a ruthless killer in either human or feline form. I don't trust cats. And I don't want to become a senior, either, because I like my insurance the way it is. Granny doesn't worry about anything. She has it made, toying with children, bums and other animals just 'cause it's fun. Then she kills them. Does this cat receive capital punishment for her crimes, or will she shape shift back to her human form before her execution? You will have to read this while abusing catnip to find out.
November 14, 2023
PETA Approved Horror Tale...
GRANNY by Simon McHardy, Sean Hawker
No spoilers. 4 stars. Warning to some readers: This review contains some graphic content...
Granny is a sweet little old lady by day, but at night, she becomes a vicious black cat named Princess C*nt...
Granny is a shape-shifter...
And an evil one!
On the first day of school, Granny became Princess C*nt and attacked and maimed a group of children on their way to class...
Later that evening...
Granny returned home and shape-shifted again into a saggy, baggy old woman, then went to her weekly bingo game...
Where she met...
... Mabel, who she'd been covertly watching, like a predator watching its prey...
Granny invited Mabel back to her house for a more private game and a bottle of gin...
After a game of cards...
Both women, each with a prolapsed uterus...
... enjoyed each other's intoxicating ghosts of juices past, squelching and squishing their bodies together like raw meat thrown against a wall...
Enjoying the aroma of geriatric lesbian sex!...
Afterward, Granny told Mabel: I don't like to lose at cards. I don't take it well. That's why my father nicknamed me Princess C*nt...
And that's how...
Mabel ended up dead in the Crawlspace under Granny's house, and Granny's troubles began...
This was a very good extreme (but not overly so) story. The last third of the story seemed like it was written by PETA activists, so one star lost there.
Overall, it's a pretty good story.
GRANNY by Simon McHardy, Sean Hawker
No spoilers. 4 stars. Warning to some readers: This review contains some graphic content...
Granny is a sweet little old lady by day, but at night, she becomes a vicious black cat named Princess C*nt...
Granny is a shape-shifter...
And an evil one!
On the first day of school, Granny became Princess C*nt and attacked and maimed a group of children on their way to class...
Later that evening...
Granny returned home and shape-shifted again into a saggy, baggy old woman, then went to her weekly bingo game...
Where she met...
... Mabel, who she'd been covertly watching, like a predator watching its prey...
Granny invited Mabel back to her house for a more private game and a bottle of gin...
After a game of cards...
Both women, each with a prolapsed uterus...
... enjoyed each other's intoxicating ghosts of juices past, squelching and squishing their bodies together like raw meat thrown against a wall...
Enjoying the aroma of geriatric lesbian sex!...
Afterward, Granny told Mabel: I don't like to lose at cards. I don't take it well. That's why my father nicknamed me Princess C*nt...
And that's how...
Mabel ended up dead in the Crawlspace under Granny's house, and Granny's troubles began...
This was a very good extreme (but not overly so) story. The last third of the story seemed like it was written by PETA activists, so one star lost there.
Overall, it's a pretty good story.
October 14, 2023
Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker’s best story to date!
I loved Granny by Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker!
This story is, in my opinion, their best!
Granny is not a typical senior citizen. She is a shapeshifter who can transform into a cute black cat. It's the perfect disguise for this brutal and ruthless serial killer, who targets the most innocent and vulnerable people.
Granny hates everyone and everything that could bring joy. This feeling disgusts her. She is only happy when she causes her preys to endure agony before killing them with horrible suffering. But to her chagrin, Granny’s reign of terror won’t last forever.
This story is well written, very brutal and disgusting. It made me cringe and feel sick.
The twisted creative minds of Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker always make me nauseous and laugh at the same time.
I highly recommend Granny if you are looking for an original, extremely brutal, disgusting and disturbing story.
I loved Granny by Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker!
This story is, in my opinion, their best!
Granny is not a typical senior citizen. She is a shapeshifter who can transform into a cute black cat. It's the perfect disguise for this brutal and ruthless serial killer, who targets the most innocent and vulnerable people.
Granny hates everyone and everything that could bring joy. This feeling disgusts her. She is only happy when she causes her preys to endure agony before killing them with horrible suffering. But to her chagrin, Granny’s reign of terror won’t last forever.
This story is well written, very brutal and disgusting. It made me cringe and feel sick.
The twisted creative minds of Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker always make me nauseous and laugh at the same time.
I highly recommend Granny if you are looking for an original, extremely brutal, disgusting and disturbing story.
September 4, 2023
Releasing Sept 27, 2023 on godless.com and then Oct 11, 2023 on Amazon.
December 20, 2023
'Shapeshifting to success!'
From cat to Granny then Granny to cat, it's just guaranteed utter, utter carnage all the way.
Depraved, gore-filled brutality, laced with more than a fair share of social unacceptability, makes this brilliant piece of splatterpunk madness one that will long be remembered.
Yep, no bounds and plenty triggers to all this craziness, but still a damn good story which is pure good fun...as long as you know exactly what to expect, that is!
Extreme adult horror, given a fantasy fun twist - stab, scratch, stab, scratch, stab, scratch. Go enjoy!
Rating: 4.5 stars - A kitten for Xmas?...erm, maybe not.
From cat to Granny then Granny to cat, it's just guaranteed utter, utter carnage all the way.
Depraved, gore-filled brutality, laced with more than a fair share of social unacceptability, makes this brilliant piece of splatterpunk madness one that will long be remembered.
Yep, no bounds and plenty triggers to all this craziness, but still a damn good story which is pure good fun...as long as you know exactly what to expect, that is!
Extreme adult horror, given a fantasy fun twist - stab, scratch, stab, scratch, stab, scratch. Go enjoy!
Rating: 4.5 stars - A kitten for Xmas?...erm, maybe not.
September 29, 2023
I know what I'm calling my next cat 😂
I don't think there'll ever be a book by these two that I won't love. Every fucked up violent disgusting thing they write makes me laugh hard and they did it again with Granny.
I don't think there'll ever be a book by these two that I won't love. Every fucked up violent disgusting thing they write makes me laugh hard and they did it again with Granny.
April 26, 2024
I’ve had this book for a while and decided it was time to read it. This is my first time reading anything by McHardy and Hawker, and it won’t be my last. Just a few pages in and the cat's name floored me. Based only on that, I couldn’t wait to see what other nonsense was ahead. I will say that it got worse, way worse. Granny is completely unhinged, and she basks in her evil ways.
I loved how over the top this was. A lot of violence and a little gagging, and you get this disturbing yet hilarious book. Did I wonder what was wrong with me after reading this? Of course. Did I laugh? Yep. It’s hard not to when you see the grossness these two have cooked up.
"She could feel the quietude of the house return, embracing her darkness as its own."
I loved how over the top this was. A lot of violence and a little gagging, and you get this disturbing yet hilarious book. Did I wonder what was wrong with me after reading this? Of course. Did I laugh? Yep. It’s hard not to when you see the grossness these two have cooked up.
"She could feel the quietude of the house return, embracing her darkness as its own."
September 27, 2023
These guys… again. They got me with this one. Old people sex is gross but when you add in prolapsed vaginas (DO NOT for the love of God google that, use me as a cautionary tale. Let’s just leave it at that), you get even more insanity.
Granny or Princess Cunt likes to get her cougar prowl on. Unfortunately, for those she encounters, they come away with more than just a few scratches. When two gritty, not too trusting police officers ask questions, fur will fly… but who’s?
GRANNY is offensive (possibly one of their most to date), gross, kinda hot at times and as always hilariously perfect. If you don’t like animal deaths, I would pass on this one (you whiny babies). Not a shock at all a HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend, 10/5.
Granny or Princess Cunt likes to get her cougar prowl on. Unfortunately, for those she encounters, they come away with more than just a few scratches. When two gritty, not too trusting police officers ask questions, fur will fly… but who’s?
GRANNY is offensive (possibly one of their most to date), gross, kinda hot at times and as always hilariously perfect. If you don’t like animal deaths, I would pass on this one (you whiny babies). Not a shock at all a HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend, 10/5.
September 27, 2023
My, my, my. The dastardly duo do it again. This time, we get some quality time with Granny. Grannies, bingo, cats, and prolapsed vaginas. Once again, the boys push the boundaries and deliver the heartfelt story of the ages. Not since Coccoon has there been a feel-good tale such as this. Check it out on Godless, and enjoy some frozen cookie dough while reading.
5 severed fingers out of 5
May 20, 2024
McHardy and Hawker never fail to deliver!
This was a such a fun and vile ride! There was a certain scene I've never read in another splatter/extreme book and absolutely disgusted me!
4/5
This was a such a fun and vile ride! There was a certain scene I've never read in another splatter/extreme book and absolutely disgusted me!
4/5
October 22, 2023
"𝐇𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲," 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝, "𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞?"
𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟*𝐜𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝.
I love this author as it was his book MOTHER MAGGOT that almost made me think I had finally reached my limit. After setting it aside for a few days, I finished it and was so proud of myself. Simon does not give a single f*ck about trigger warnings and writes the foulest, most despicable content I've ever read. I'm compiling a list of Sean Hawker's works as well!
GRANNY was a short little book that is full of filth. I couldn't even put the full name of the cat in my quote for fear of being banned by Goodreads!
Granny is not your average senior citizen. She hates everyone and everything and uses her shapeshifting ability to turn herself into a cute black cat. This disguise allows her to target the young and the vulnerable.
The dark humor had me chuckling, but be forewarned, there is plenty of offensive content that will have you asking yourself, "Did they really write that?"
GRANNY was a disgusting good time. Available now on KU!
𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟*𝐜𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝.
I love this author as it was his book MOTHER MAGGOT that almost made me think I had finally reached my limit. After setting it aside for a few days, I finished it and was so proud of myself. Simon does not give a single f*ck about trigger warnings and writes the foulest, most despicable content I've ever read. I'm compiling a list of Sean Hawker's works as well!
GRANNY was a short little book that is full of filth. I couldn't even put the full name of the cat in my quote for fear of being banned by Goodreads!
Granny is not your average senior citizen. She hates everyone and everything and uses her shapeshifting ability to turn herself into a cute black cat. This disguise allows her to target the young and the vulnerable.
The dark humor had me chuckling, but be forewarned, there is plenty of offensive content that will have you asking yourself, "Did they really write that?"
GRANNY was a disgusting good time. Available now on KU!
January 1, 2024
Clever. Dark. Disgusting.
A granny can shapeshift into a cat. Both have hatred towards mankind. The real kicker is that she is a serial killer in both forms. As a cat she torments children and send them to their demise in... uniquely sickening ways. (straight up made my tummy hurt) This was short but also just the right length for this story. McHardy and Hawker really just nail this genre and know how to make you ill.
A granny can shapeshift into a cat. Both have hatred towards mankind. The real kicker is that she is a serial killer in both forms. As a cat she torments children and send them to their demise in... uniquely sickening ways. (straight up made my tummy hurt) This was short but also just the right length for this story. McHardy and Hawker really just nail this genre and know how to make you ill.
November 20, 2023
This was off the wall crazy, extreme horror at its finest.
October 20, 2023
This was grim!!!!
As soon as I started I had finished. I was speed reading as this book had me gripped.
One of the silly reads but so damn good.
I will never buy cookie dough again 😷
As soon as I started I had finished. I was speed reading as this book had me gripped.
One of the silly reads but so damn good.
I will never buy cookie dough again 😷
September 29, 2023
Insanely Entertaining!
Another brutal masterpiece from my favorite demented duo. This one might be their most offensive yet. If you enjoy extreme fiction filled with truly disturbing twists, you can't go wrong with anything by these two. Highly recommended!
Another brutal masterpiece from my favorite demented duo. This one might be their most offensive yet. If you enjoy extreme fiction filled with truly disturbing twists, you can't go wrong with anything by these two. Highly recommended!
January 23, 2024
I really loved this book because granny reminded me of my own sweet granny but without the murder and torture and stuff. That I know of. I took away one star because they didn’t explain if a cat can have a prolapsed uterus.
February 6, 2024
What the crap did I just read? That is how I feel about this book. I was so entertained the whole time. I was not prepared for the content of this book. The gore had me laughing and cringing in shock. This book is not for the faint at heart so please enter with caution. I will never see old ladies or cookie dough the same way ever again!!
September 25, 2023
Let's just say if I ever get a pet cat I know what I'm going to call it
November 23, 2023
Brilliant. Hilarious. Love these two. 👵🐈⬛
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews