The moment I sat down in the chair, I knew. I’ve gotten better at recognizing this certainty.
It sits at the right price, above cheap and below luxury, so that it hurts just enough to feel right. It tells me to put my arm over the edge and cross my legs in a way that feels like me. I feel its comfort.
Two of these for the balcony. They are displayed with a pot between them. Yes, the baby blue eucalyptus I admired at the garden centre yesterday could go right there.
Jasmine up the concrete side walls. Gardenias and licorice plants by the privacy screens. Keep the balustrades clear for egress and the view of the figs below.
Online shopping wasn’t cutting it. I had to venture to Enfield and Alexandria to touch and photograph and reality-check.
What are you like to sit on? What do you smell like?
I delete the art BlueThumb wants me to buy on sale. I don’t like the feeling of urgency.
I mentally commit to the torso sculpture and small brushstroke painting I saw in Woolloomooloo. They represent health and summer.
Over coffee, I tell my friend the dining table in Bondi Junction was perfect the moment I saw it. The bed was wrong though, upholstered as if by a child. The rattan one I overlooked online was the obvious choice in person. I lust over the leather sling wood-framed lounge chair I don’t need, with its perfect amount of give and curved arms that demand to be caressed.
My friend tells me art should have stories. Like when my neighbours gave me a guided tour of their collection on New Year’s Eve, recounting each piece. The same neighbours who prompted my decision to move to this new apartment, in the same building, with a balcony on the top floor overlooking the neighbourhood I love. Because I wanted to host them as they hosted me. Because I had planned it for years but never committed. Because I needed the balcony for a dog.
This space will be my gallery for them. My small bar and restaurant. A sanctuary for me to read, play guitar, and dance on the wooden floorboards. I don't really need a rug, do I? The space is so open and clean without it.
I need this space to be free from clutter. I need it to cook and bathe and wash and sleep and loaf.
I do not want it to be so complete though that a woman sees no room for herself; to make adjustments and assert her environmental will.
A bookcase? To delete Goodreads and live completely in the physical world. I read in a book, this one, that books are art objects that tell stories of transformation.
Would my friend who became a photographer when I became an urban planner do a print for me? His work embodies his sardonic humour and calm stillness. I want my walls to make me smile. Perhaps the one of the minimalist childcare centre.
I play with the idea of purchasing an item from every store in Summer Hill. Pillows, throws, glassware, candles, tea towels, a lemon juicer, a whittled wood sparrow from the kids’ toy store, a Batman figurine from the adult toy store. Strewn about for guests to guess.
Even the songs I write have started to take on a new tone. As airy as having the sliding doors completely open.
This is my project now. A process of materializing the self. A space for the people I love and might come to love.