High-Functioning Anxiety: A 5-Step Guide to Calming the Inner Panic and Thriving

by Lalitaa Suglani

Do you always show up for everyone else, get praised for your strength, and look like you have it all together while secretly experiencing intense worry, self-doubt, or fear of failure? Do you work hard to please others while feeling disconnected from the ‘real you’?

People with high-functioning anxiety (HFA) often appear competent and accomplished on the outside, but internally, it’s a very different story. HFA is rooted in fear – the fear of others seeing the ‘real’ us – and can lead to a cycle of overworking, overthinking, and self-criticism.

Award-winning psychologist Dr Lalitaa is here to tell you that you don’t have to live like this anymore. Weaving together scientific research with practical exercises and case studies, Dr Lalitaa offers a five-step plan that will radically shift how you see yourself. You’ll

· the main symptoms of high-functioning anxiety and how they emerge in daily behaviour
· the two sides of high-functioning how you see yourself vs. how you present yourself to the world
· how to release old modes of thinking and habitual thought patterns and replace them with healthy attitudes
· practical methods for creating and sustaining long-term lifestyle changes, so that you can calm the inner panic, find balance, and thrive

This transformational book will show you how to break the toxic cycle of high-functioning anxiety – for good.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Health, Psychology, Personal Development, Audiobook, Mental Health

237 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 28, 2024

Reviews

[Dominique · Rating 5 out of 5]

I sought this book out as a person who has experienced the constant inner turmoil that is anxiety for as long as I could remember, and got exactly what I needed. This book felt like a road map to my mind. The therapy I felt I always needed. This book laid bare the troubling core beliefs I’ve used to define myself for so long and brought my attention to all the ways I’ve allowed them to limit me since their conception. This book rattled me and shook up my foundation. It grabbed my hand and brought me back to where it all started. It made me question who I really am beyond how I present myself, beyond my accomplishments, and beyond the stories I tell myself. But most importantly, this book provided me with a path forward. It provided me with the understanding I need to make peace with my limiting beliefs and begin showing up as my authentic self.

[Erin Cook]

this book has a bad case of huge margins and enormous print and should be a third the size it actually is.

[Alan Hamilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

The initial sections of this book gives an excellent description of the possible impact that childhood experiences can have in adult life. There's nothing particularly groundbreaking, but it's a great consolidated analysis and very well presented. As well as anxiety, it covers other related areas such as perfectionism, people pleasing, introversion etc. To be honest, I think that the author could have used a more accurate title for the book - I can't see the title grabbing people's attention. I only gave it a try because I heard the author being interviewed.

The latter sections give 12 potential tools for dealing with anxiety and perfectionism. Again, there's nothing that you won't have seen before, but it is well presented and contains consolidated and useful, practical advice.

If this is your first foray into this subject matter, then this is an excellent introduction.

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical, grounded and relatable. Really enjoyed this book.

[Aileen · Rating 3 out of 5]

a little strangely structured but still very good for feeling understood and seen, with helpful reflection questions

[Amy McLellan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was very excited to get a proof copy of this one. I've got anxiety and I always love to read and try out new writing and research on the subject and this was a good addition to them.

Dr Lalitaa Suglani takes you through her 5 step guide to managing and dealing with high-functioning anxiety. From personal stories to case studies to exercises to try out, this is a full guide of useful trick and hacks.

This was an awesome book to read. It was a wonderful new perspective on high-functioning anxiety (the only book I've ever actually seen on the subject!)
One thing that made this book stand out, was the author's own personal experience on the subject. Hearing advice from her own life experience added familiarity and just made it that extra but interesting.
The case studies made it easier to understand the theories and how to apply them. Whilst they aren't a direct translation into life, they make it easy to understand the principles at hand
I particularly liked the section exploring Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - it's a theory I've looked at in business studies and such but I loved looking at it from a different perspective.
The different exercises, particularly the ones based around reflection, were very insightful and clever - I enjoyed completing them and exploring more about myself. The author knows the exact questions to ask to get you thinking!

My only real qualm with this book is the number of subsections, particularly in the beginning and end of the book. It was divided into too many subsections that I struggled to relate to one another and was just too much information to divert to in one go - it became quite daunting.

Overall, a wonderful new perspective on anxiety and high-functioning anxiety. It's an area that's never really been explored and this book provides motivation, clever tips and useful methods to help everyday thinking and life.

[Abhilash Ruhela · Rating 4 out of 5]

17th Book of 2024

We have found many articles and stories asking us to concentrate more upon our mental health and give it priority just like we give to our physical health. Unfortunately, not many institutions/public figures walk the talk. I am glad that one of the publication houses I follow, Hay House India, regularly publishes books which are based upon the topics related to our mental health. I read their previous book which was about self-love and this time, I read a book which is about anxiety. “High functioning anxiety” is written by Dr. Lalitaa Suglani in around 225 pages which also comes up with the tagline- “A 5-step guide to calming the inner panic and thriving”.

Lalitaa introduces us to the concept of High functioning anxiety which is not like regular anxiety but a different purview wherein people experience anxiety while still being able to function well in their daily lives. People with high-functioning anxiety may appear successful and well-accomplished, but they may also be struggling with internal feelings of stress, self-doubt, and fear. This made me curious to read further as most of us go through such phase where we process normally but we always feel anxious within.

The initial chapters are a different experience to read as author introduces us with various types of HFAs wherein she explains how some childhood experiences and treatments transform a certain kind of our attitude which starts defining our personality. The chapters help us relate with several types as we can associate them with us. Author also clarifies that we can be completely one of them or a combination of multiple types. In further chapters, she tries to mix up two HFA types and explains how we might be struggling with such personality traits. These writings help us understand the concepts well and evaluate how we have been processing ourselves until now.

In one of the sections, Lalitaa explains Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in such a way that even after knowing about it previously, it felt like knowing it in an easier and better way. Author highlights upon the fact how we are always striving to please people and become favourites by killing our inner desires. She throws upon the light to the fact that we should be concentrating upon our real self and lead the path to self-awareness.

Author has nicely divided the 5 chapters where she concentrates on each of the 5 steps before moving on to the next. Each chapter consists of case studies, author’s personal experiences, self-reflection questions for us, setting the boundary section etc. which helps us understand the topics rather than just reading blindly. There’s one concept of the “Wheel of Life” in the latter part of the book which nicely divides our life in different sections and help us understand how to give weightage and priority to each of them than missing one of these important elements of life.

In the end, author ends the book giving us few reference points to follow in order to overcome the High functioning anxiety. Reading the last step and chapter gives a relief as mostly the book is about the problems thriving within us whereas the last pages give us positivity and hope that we can push ourselves out of this zone.

Talking about the drawbacks, I must say that author has explained each concept a lot which could have been summed up in a better way by reducing the length of each chapter. The case studies and examples used are repetitive which starts becoming a painful experience to read time and again. The chapters have so many sections and their respective sub-sections that I have ended up missing the flow couple of times. Author could have structured the sections within the chapters in a better manner.

Overall, this book is insightful and helps us understand how we can treat the anxiety within us which is gradually taking us towards mental health issues. I would give this book 4 stars out of 5.

Thanks!

WRITING BUDDHA

[Michael Guerrero · Rating 1 out of 5]

I walked in with hopeful expectations about this book. By all accounts, I fully expected this to be a book that I connected with and found something useful from. Instead, what I found was a book full of the writer’s own self-reflection and presumptions on reader’s family dynamics and history based on their own. This made the entire book rather ineffective and near impossible to connect with at times because it seemed like an entire projection of their own experiences. there are definitely some parts that are good takeaways from the book, however, I found a majority of the book to be a waste of my time that does very little to analyze what high functioning anxiety looks and presents like beyond the writer’s clear personal issues. Honestly, the main reason I didn’t drop this book is that I wanted to get through my Goodreads 2025 reading challenge and felt like I owed it to myself to at least see the book through to see if it would change. It definitely didn’t. I’m sure there are far better books out there on high functioning anxiety that serve the purpose this book intended to and would’ve been a better use of my time and I’ll make sure to look for those instead. I don’t mean to be rude, but frankly a book regarding mental health should do a far better job making itself accessible to readers with anxiety of different backgrounds than the author.

[Sue Brookes · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poor, I was excited to read this as I saw another author I admire promoting it but for my this sadly lacked substance and did nothing to help me to heal. Pretty basic stuff and lacking in depth which is a shame as with the hay house name I expected much more. Sadly I think this is just another case of a big social media following selling the book rather than the content itself. There are better, more holistic books on the market that really get to grips with what's beneath your anxiety, that has far more substance and take you through a process to fully heal from the inside out. This does not do that.

[Marios Alexandrou · Rating 3 out of 5]

The subject and general body of this book is amazing. It really sheds light on a subject that troubles everyone. It is not written in a very helpful or academic way in my opinion. The author uses a lot of metaphors you’d say to children in kindergarten which makes it a bit cringe and poorly credible. The case studies instead of being used for relatability and examples, are very literal and repetitive. The hook does not dive deeper to make you feel seen rather than mostly state the obvious

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Taken my time over this one, and in the process, it’s transformed my mindset, how I view myself and more importantly, helped me to understand why I think and feel the way I do.

Didn’t realise that others also had the same crazy thoughts as I do, but I feel understood, heard and no longer quite as lonely in my thought processes. I feel challenged, encouraged and motivated to try some of these strategies…

[Samantha Nowak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m all for reading books like this but none have really impacted me like this book. I highly recommend this book to anyone (I already have to many friends). This isn’t just a book that tells you how someone has this and overcomes its. It gives you self reflections and tools to help you. It’s focused on YOU.

[Richard Tubb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a very practical one, and helps anyone who is a high achiever in life, but who experiences anxiety and self-doubt. The author helps readers understand why they are like they are, but how to handle the resulting challenges.

Lalitta has written a wonderful book, full of examples, empathy and real world advice on understanding and dealing with high-functioning anxiety (HFA).

[Maja · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of the best self help books

This is one of the best self help books I have ever read. Written from the perspective of a sufferer and a healer, it provides very effective approaches to understanding and treating AID.

[Libby · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty disappointed that a book written by a supposed psychologist has 7 references in the whole book. Feels like a book anyone could have thrown together. Not particularly insightful, I was really hoping for something new, this was not it!

[Tanu · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 - Well structured, easy read. As with a lot of psych books, not everything is relevant/applicable but a good explanation of why certain behaviors/patterns can emerge and how to tackle them through practicing thought restructuring.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really insightful read and I could resonate with so much. My phone is so filled with pictures of quotes I liked! It was a great reminder that self-care is so important. Not quite 5 stars as felt some parts were a bit repetitive but I learned some useful tips from this and lots of food for thought.

[Amanda Maxi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the 5 step approach/tool kit as well as the authors personal experiences woven into the text. It dis make me wonder more deeply about hfa and our hustle culture. I feel like the steps clearly define the balance for the reader.

[Jesse Zhou · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book for great tools. Very helpful in discovering the source of my particular anxiety. I suspect it's more helpful if you do all the exercises, which I didn't have time to do but may do in the future. The most important tool I learned was how to properly set boundaries with myself and others.

[Shinni Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this as an audiobook - although the concepts are not new, there are some great insights which helped.
I think a physical version of the book would be better than the audiobook as you can't do the activities that she describes [the attachments on spotify don't include all the tasks].

[Wren Moorhead · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me awhile to get through this book, however it was very helpful in guiding myself through journaling prompts and ways to understand where some of my personal anxiety comes from. I would recommend if you are wanting to do some self discovery by yourself into your anxiety or how HFA works.

[Diana Holdridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really insightful and clear! Wish this book had been out there when I was 18! And in my early 20's! So glad it is out there now!

[Mathilde]

DNF

[Mugren Ohaly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never felt this seen before.

[Nate Tingey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good resource, okay book

[L · Rating 4 out of 5]

Straightforward and helpful. Nothing crazy revolutionary. Insightful journal prompts. Excellent and concise tools in the last chapter.

[Shannon Beebie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5, felt very seen!

[Gwenlyn J · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good insights, but not overly helpful

[Hannah Nieweglowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 audio 🎧

[Daniel Sepúlveda · Rating 1 out of 5]

No sé si tal vez no sea el momento adecuado para leer este libro, pero siento que no agregó ningun valor a mi vida. La autora daba vueltas una y otra vez con la misma idea, y las recomendaciones que daba son las mismas que he leído en otros libros. Tal vez sea un buen libro para quien no haya leído nada sobre salud mental o el autoconocimiento.