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The Vanishing Neighbor: The Transformation of American Community
A sweeping new look at the unheralded transformation that is eroding the foundations of American exceptionalism.
Americans today find themselves mired in an era of uncertainty and frustration. The nation's safety net is pulling apart under its own weight; political compromise is viewed as a form of defeat; and our faith in the enduring concept of American exceptionalism appears increasingly outdated.
But the American Age may not be ending. In The Vanishing Neighbor, Marc J. Dunkelman identifies an epochal shift in the structure of American life—a shift unnoticed by many. Routines that once put doctors and lawyers in touch with grocers and plumbers—interactions that encouraged debate and cultivated compromise—have changed dramatically since the postwar era. Both technology and the new routines of everyday life connect tight-knit circles and expand the breadth of our social landscapes, but they've sapped the commonplace, incidental interactions that for centuries have built local communities and fostered healthy debate.
The disappearance of these once-central relationships—between people who are familiar but not close, or friendly but not intimate—lies at the root of America's economic woes and political gridlock. The institutions that were erected to support what Tocqueville called the "township"—that unique locus of the power of citizens—are failing because they haven't yet been molded to the realities of the new American community.
It's time we moved beyond the debate over whether the changes being made to American life are good or bad and focus instead on understanding the tradeoffs. Our cities are less racially segregated than in decades past, but we’ve become less cognizant of what's happening in the lives of people from different economic backgrounds, education levels, or age groups. Familiar divisions have been replaced by cross-cutting networks—with profound effects for the way we resolve conflicts, spur innovation, and care for those in need.
The good news is that the very transformation at the heart of our current anxiety holds the promise of more hope and prosperity than would have been possible under the old order. The Vanishing Neighbor argues persuasively that to win the future we need to adapt yesterday’s institutions to the realities of the twenty-first-century American community.
Americans today find themselves mired in an era of uncertainty and frustration. The nation's safety net is pulling apart under its own weight; political compromise is viewed as a form of defeat; and our faith in the enduring concept of American exceptionalism appears increasingly outdated.
But the American Age may not be ending. In The Vanishing Neighbor, Marc J. Dunkelman identifies an epochal shift in the structure of American life—a shift unnoticed by many. Routines that once put doctors and lawyers in touch with grocers and plumbers—interactions that encouraged debate and cultivated compromise—have changed dramatically since the postwar era. Both technology and the new routines of everyday life connect tight-knit circles and expand the breadth of our social landscapes, but they've sapped the commonplace, incidental interactions that for centuries have built local communities and fostered healthy debate.
The disappearance of these once-central relationships—between people who are familiar but not close, or friendly but not intimate—lies at the root of America's economic woes and political gridlock. The institutions that were erected to support what Tocqueville called the "township"—that unique locus of the power of citizens—are failing because they haven't yet been molded to the realities of the new American community.
It's time we moved beyond the debate over whether the changes being made to American life are good or bad and focus instead on understanding the tradeoffs. Our cities are less racially segregated than in decades past, but we’ve become less cognizant of what's happening in the lives of people from different economic backgrounds, education levels, or age groups. Familiar divisions have been replaced by cross-cutting networks—with profound effects for the way we resolve conflicts, spur innovation, and care for those in need.
The good news is that the very transformation at the heart of our current anxiety holds the promise of more hope and prosperity than would have been possible under the old order. The Vanishing Neighbor argues persuasively that to win the future we need to adapt yesterday’s institutions to the realities of the twenty-first-century American community.
321 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 28, 2014
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November 4, 2014
The Vanishing Neighbor was difficult to rate. Here on Goodreads, I only gave it 2 stars because I was reading it for leisure. If I were a sociology student, I'd probably give it 4-5 stars. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this to others to read "for fun" but I can't deny the depth and wealth of information within, or the novelty of the thesis presented.
Let me back up just a little and explain why, exactly, I picked up this book in the first place. Two years ago, the hubby and I bought a house in a suburb and moved in and I waited and waited and waited for a neighbor to come over and say hi. Maybe with a plate of cookies. I spent my evenings imagining running into neighbors as we all came home from work and sharing glasses of wine on the front porch. (I bought a few bottles of "good" wine just in case.) I looked forward to dog-sitting for the neighbors two houses down and giving children's book recommendations to the neighbors one house down. We moved onto a cul de sac; I daydreamed of "block parties" on the 4th of July. Because this is what I grew up with. I wasn't delusional, I swear! When I was a kid, all the neighbors hung out and we kids played together and our parents sat on the porches together and there were cul de sac block parties every 4th of July.
I picked up Mr. Dunkelman's book hoping for answers. Why was it that not a single neighbor came over to welcome us to the neighborhood? Why was one of our neighbors actually actively antagonistic? What was wrong with me that no one wanted to form connections?
The good news: there's absolutely nothing wrong with me or the hubby, according to the author. It's just that in the past 20 years, America has seen a great shift, a wave, as he terms it, from geographical community connections to a more selective "networked" society. We Americans own a lot of cars. We have great public transportation systems in big cities. We have many computers and lots of internet access. We no longer rely on the neighbor next door because we can easily selectively choose our social group, even if the others in the group live many miles away. I can't tell you how relieved I was to find that out so early in the book. The Beaver Cleaver community model just doesn't exist anymore. I'm not doing anything wrong, and my neighbors aren't doing anything wrong. We've just become a more efficient society!
I thought the author did a fantastic job presenting both the positives and the negatives of the shift into this new, networked society. Sure, I was reassured about my own situation, but he also brought up some negatives. People very rarely run into people outside of their education level, socioeconomic level, and career anymore. This can actually impede idea-sharing, which could lead to a loss of innovation in America. That's no good.
The author also does a fantastic job with his research. My mind was a little blown at all the texts he referenced, and all the diverse historical sociological theories that he pulled together to support his thesis. If I were his professor, I'd totally give him an A++.
Unfortunately, that's also where this book lost me a bit, and lost stars in my personal rating of the book. You see, I'm not a professor or student of economics. This book was pretty intense for something I was reading prior to going to bed. So, please check out this book if you're a student of sociology, and maybe look for something a little lighter if you're an average Joe like me.
Let me back up just a little and explain why, exactly, I picked up this book in the first place. Two years ago, the hubby and I bought a house in a suburb and moved in and I waited and waited and waited for a neighbor to come over and say hi. Maybe with a plate of cookies. I spent my evenings imagining running into neighbors as we all came home from work and sharing glasses of wine on the front porch. (I bought a few bottles of "good" wine just in case.) I looked forward to dog-sitting for the neighbors two houses down and giving children's book recommendations to the neighbors one house down. We moved onto a cul de sac; I daydreamed of "block parties" on the 4th of July. Because this is what I grew up with. I wasn't delusional, I swear! When I was a kid, all the neighbors hung out and we kids played together and our parents sat on the porches together and there were cul de sac block parties every 4th of July.
I picked up Mr. Dunkelman's book hoping for answers. Why was it that not a single neighbor came over to welcome us to the neighborhood? Why was one of our neighbors actually actively antagonistic? What was wrong with me that no one wanted to form connections?
The good news: there's absolutely nothing wrong with me or the hubby, according to the author. It's just that in the past 20 years, America has seen a great shift, a wave, as he terms it, from geographical community connections to a more selective "networked" society. We Americans own a lot of cars. We have great public transportation systems in big cities. We have many computers and lots of internet access. We no longer rely on the neighbor next door because we can easily selectively choose our social group, even if the others in the group live many miles away. I can't tell you how relieved I was to find that out so early in the book. The Beaver Cleaver community model just doesn't exist anymore. I'm not doing anything wrong, and my neighbors aren't doing anything wrong. We've just become a more efficient society!
I thought the author did a fantastic job presenting both the positives and the negatives of the shift into this new, networked society. Sure, I was reassured about my own situation, but he also brought up some negatives. People very rarely run into people outside of their education level, socioeconomic level, and career anymore. This can actually impede idea-sharing, which could lead to a loss of innovation in America. That's no good.
The author also does a fantastic job with his research. My mind was a little blown at all the texts he referenced, and all the diverse historical sociological theories that he pulled together to support his thesis. If I were his professor, I'd totally give him an A++.
Unfortunately, that's also where this book lost me a bit, and lost stars in my personal rating of the book. You see, I'm not a professor or student of economics. This book was pretty intense for something I was reading prior to going to bed. So, please check out this book if you're a student of sociology, and maybe look for something a little lighter if you're an average Joe like me.
July 6, 2023
The Vanishing Neighbor straddles the line between pop and academic sociology to propose, but not quite prove, a grand theory of what's gone wrong in America since World War 2. Dunkelman's thesis is that the traditional organization of American life is the township, whether an actual rural small town, or an urban microneighborhood of a few blocks, and this 'middle ring' of frequent casual relationships and commitments is something which drives social cohesion and innovation.
What definitely feels true is that something has changed since the 1950s. Dunkelman describes growing up in Cleveland in a dense web of connections, which he hasn't experienced since. Personally, I know between 0 and 3 of my neighbors, and I live in a dense neighborhood. My parents know more, but they're both avid walkers, and even then they wouldn't rely on their neighbors for anything critical. This reduction in neighborliness comes even as American communities become more culturally homogenous as part of the Big Sort, where the vehicles parked on the street and flags on the windows tell you exactly who you'll be living next to, and if you'll fit in. As the middle rings have become the missing rings, in the book's terminology, we've focused more and more time on the inner rings of family and our closest friends, and the outer rings of commercial and mediated transactions.
Where this book falls short is it's assumption of the pre-war status quo, and an over-commitment to a diversity of casual mechanisms. Dunkelman draws heavily and uncritically on Tocqueville's Democracy in America, and forces his township model on to a diversity of lived experiences across regions, population density, and ethnic groups without solid support from the scholarly literature. A reading of an idyllic America glosses over real concerns around immigration driven cultural changes in the early 1900s, gangsterism during Prohibition, the very real crisis of the Great Depression, and of course racism, to begin with concerns in the 50s and 60s that the new generations were either overly conformist or too free-willed, unlike their properly 'gritty' elders.
There's a lot of techno-material reasons why neighborliness has disappeared. Automobile commutes make it impossible to interact with other people in a positive way. Television ate up social time, then exploded from a network monoculture to the dense garden of cable and the ultimate individualization of social media. Blue-collar middle class jobs vanished with out-shoring of industry, replaced by services and information technology. Culture has also changed. Relationships became increasingly segregated by education, with few marriages between people with college degrees and those without. General purpose fraternal groups are out of vogue, with mission driven NGOs acting on specific causes. And politics has become increasing harsh and part of a universal culture war.
About a decade on from when this book was published, I think the situation has only gotten worse. I didn't much care for Tea Party era Republicans, but the GQP is an actual existential threat. And conversely, I've probably gone from an annoying lib peacenik to a Pedo-Marxist Out to Groom America in their mind. There's no easy answer, but also given the Big Sort, we should feel more comfortable making casual connections in our own communities.
What definitely feels true is that something has changed since the 1950s. Dunkelman describes growing up in Cleveland in a dense web of connections, which he hasn't experienced since. Personally, I know between 0 and 3 of my neighbors, and I live in a dense neighborhood. My parents know more, but they're both avid walkers, and even then they wouldn't rely on their neighbors for anything critical. This reduction in neighborliness comes even as American communities become more culturally homogenous as part of the Big Sort, where the vehicles parked on the street and flags on the windows tell you exactly who you'll be living next to, and if you'll fit in. As the middle rings have become the missing rings, in the book's terminology, we've focused more and more time on the inner rings of family and our closest friends, and the outer rings of commercial and mediated transactions.
Where this book falls short is it's assumption of the pre-war status quo, and an over-commitment to a diversity of casual mechanisms. Dunkelman draws heavily and uncritically on Tocqueville's Democracy in America, and forces his township model on to a diversity of lived experiences across regions, population density, and ethnic groups without solid support from the scholarly literature. A reading of an idyllic America glosses over real concerns around immigration driven cultural changes in the early 1900s, gangsterism during Prohibition, the very real crisis of the Great Depression, and of course racism, to begin with concerns in the 50s and 60s that the new generations were either overly conformist or too free-willed, unlike their properly 'gritty' elders.
There's a lot of techno-material reasons why neighborliness has disappeared. Automobile commutes make it impossible to interact with other people in a positive way. Television ate up social time, then exploded from a network monoculture to the dense garden of cable and the ultimate individualization of social media. Blue-collar middle class jobs vanished with out-shoring of industry, replaced by services and information technology. Culture has also changed. Relationships became increasingly segregated by education, with few marriages between people with college degrees and those without. General purpose fraternal groups are out of vogue, with mission driven NGOs acting on specific causes. And politics has become increasing harsh and part of a universal culture war.
About a decade on from when this book was published, I think the situation has only gotten worse. I didn't much care for Tea Party era Republicans, but the GQP is an actual existential threat. And conversely, I've probably gone from an annoying lib peacenik to a Pedo-Marxist Out to Groom America in their mind. There's no easy answer, but also given the Big Sort, we should feel more comfortable making casual connections in our own communities.
July 3, 2018
Let me first start off by saying that if I could give this 3.5 stars, I would. The first thing that you, as the reader, need to be prepared for is the nagging left-leaning narrative throughout. A little research in the front-end, though, would have told me that the author was a former Fellow at the Clinton Foundation, so it should come as no surprise. Having said that, as one who works with the Community and volunteers also, this was a very enlightening read.
If you are looking for a unique perspective on post-war America (1945-present), I would recommend this. If you are working in a community service agency or belong to a membership organization focused on community and civic responsibility, I would also recommend this.
Be ready, though. It is a deep read. Almost every paragraph spews data and information. Because of that, it took me a long time to get through the book - in a good way. One or two chapters at a time, and then allow yourself time to digest the information and apply it to your experience. That worked for me, though.
If you are looking for a unique perspective on post-war America (1945-present), I would recommend this. If you are working in a community service agency or belong to a membership organization focused on community and civic responsibility, I would also recommend this.
Be ready, though. It is a deep read. Almost every paragraph spews data and information. Because of that, it took me a long time to get through the book - in a good way. One or two chapters at a time, and then allow yourself time to digest the information and apply it to your experience. That worked for me, though.
August 9, 2016
Interesting book, but largely a review of the sociological literature about the decline of American communities. Good points are found within, such as it's unfair to blame current partisanship on biased media like MSNBC and FOX News given the highly partisan, avowedly party aligned newspapers most Americand read for much of the nation's history.
The problem lies within America's voluntary stepping back from society and congregating with like-minded people as discussed in recent major works such as Coming Apart by Charles Murray, Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone, and Bill Bishop's The Big Sort .
Unfortunately, the book has essentially no proposed solutions.
The problem lies within America's voluntary stepping back from society and congregating with like-minded people as discussed in recent major works such as Coming Apart by Charles Murray, Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone, and Bill Bishop's The Big Sort .
Unfortunately, the book has essentially no proposed solutions.
May 9, 2015
Small-town USA, aka ‘neighborhoods' or 'communities' used to define the pattern of life that most Americans experienced in their everyday lives. You had your own immediate family, and you also had the neighbors up and down the block who you simply trusted, implicitly. In the age where many gated commuter subdivisions have become mutually-exclusive, in other words, Gerrymeandered, those occasions are limited where individuals from diverse occupations and backgrounds, and with different political viewpoints, work together for a common good at the local level. More people now than in the past prefer to make donations to national organizations, rather than tackle local concerns. Some people, no doubt find it’s even impossible to agree on a common good (like passable roads, or education), because the discussions are so fraught at the outset with questions of politics, and the inevitable question, ‘Who’s paying’?
Dunkelman mourns the passing of what he calls the ‘middle ring’ of connections that Americans used to make, to the exclusion of the ‘inner ring’ of close family and friends, and the ‘outer ring’ of complete strangers, those anonymous masses whom we occasionally meet in transactions on Ebay or Amazon, but who otherwise don’t engage with us. What the market has gained in efficiency, it has cost us in a corresponding level of human contact.
A point where I disagree with him is on the value of trying to hearken back to a more ‘neighborly’ America. He maintains that the era of the ‘middle ring’ neighbor has passed, and that cheap cell phones and internet apps are what keep us close to friends and kin, wherever they are. He overrates technology, IMHO, in keeping us in anything but superficial contact.
He’s better with at least one practical suggestion: as a means of coping with extravagant health care costs, why not combine services for ‘elder care’ to comprise not just Meals on Wheels; but meals, with grocery shopping, pharmacy delivery, and laundry service as well? If services became organized, recipients could enjoy the help that in the past may have been provided by live-in family members. No doubt there are efficiencies to economies of scale that could cut billions from the health care budget, without impacting medical outcomes, or patient satisfaction. The understanding is that most people of all ages are healthier and happier when they live in their own homes.
Dunkelman mourns the passing of what he calls the ‘middle ring’ of connections that Americans used to make, to the exclusion of the ‘inner ring’ of close family and friends, and the ‘outer ring’ of complete strangers, those anonymous masses whom we occasionally meet in transactions on Ebay or Amazon, but who otherwise don’t engage with us. What the market has gained in efficiency, it has cost us in a corresponding level of human contact.
A point where I disagree with him is on the value of trying to hearken back to a more ‘neighborly’ America. He maintains that the era of the ‘middle ring’ neighbor has passed, and that cheap cell phones and internet apps are what keep us close to friends and kin, wherever they are. He overrates technology, IMHO, in keeping us in anything but superficial contact.
He’s better with at least one practical suggestion: as a means of coping with extravagant health care costs, why not combine services for ‘elder care’ to comprise not just Meals on Wheels; but meals, with grocery shopping, pharmacy delivery, and laundry service as well? If services became organized, recipients could enjoy the help that in the past may have been provided by live-in family members. No doubt there are efficiencies to economies of scale that could cut billions from the health care budget, without impacting medical outcomes, or patient satisfaction. The understanding is that most people of all ages are healthier and happier when they live in their own homes.
June 8, 2016
Learned about this book from the Art of Manliness podcast interview with the author. I found it to be a good, if slightly depressing read. The main thesis is that the middle-ring (loose connections between intimate family and distant acquaintances) connections are being lost as we gain more and more efficiency in modern society. As the author states, the good old days weren't all they are cracked up to be today, but there are still quite a few positives there... I worry about this next networked society and what we are losing, despite all the efficiency gained. Still though, the author suggests that it's pointless to fight against it for now. I look forward to a follow up with better defined strategies of how to bring some of the middle ring benefits forward into the networked society.
"Adults today tend to prize different kinds of connections than their grandparents: more of our time and attention today is spent on more intimate contacts and the most casual acquaintances. We've abandoned the relationships in between - what I define in a later chapter as 'middle-ring' ties." p. xvii
"Moreover, while we're less likely to attend religious services, when we do choose to frequent a house of worship, we're much more likely to travel to attend the services we like best. That being the case, we've abandoned the spiritual diversity that once characterized American congregations: churches today are full of people attuned more perfectly to their own devotion." p. 72
"To put it another way: it wasn't just moving rhetoric or inspiring calls to action that propelled the nation out of the Jim Crow era. The civil rights movement was successful because the demand for equality spread through bonds that already existed within the community. King was a leader of the Southern Christian Leadership conference, an organization of clergymen who were each held in high esteem by members of their congregations. But in addition to the moral sway the clergy had within their communities, the bonds forged among members of the SCLC itself-relationships that mark classic examples of middle-ring ties - served as a crucial foundation for the movement, even through hard times. Some version of this story applies to the gamut of movements that pepper American history. ... None emerged out of nowhere: each was incubated by connections forged between friends, neighbors, and familiar acquaintances. That's not how things work anymore. More recently that 'style' of movement has become almost antiquated. Far from harnessing the connections wrought by preexisting middle-ring relationships, the Tea Party and Occupy movements, two of the most prominent echoes of earlier campaigns for change, were fueled by messages sent through the outer rings. ... The miracle of information technology - blogs and social networks, e-mails and Twitter feeds - made it possible for individuals to find, connect, and organize ideological peers without knowing one another very well." p. 109-110
"What limited time and energy American's have today is devoted to our most intimate relationships and a set of much more one-dimensional connections. Along the way, the middle rings have become the missing rings." p. 120
[On the advent of government social safety nets] "that new crutch exacted a cost. As Robert Nisbet argued decades ago, government bureaucracies have, in many ways, supplanted the primary role that communities once played in guaranteeing care from neighbor to neighbor. Beyond augmenting what existed before, the new infrastructure assumed, in many cases, the role played by acquaintances. ... The expectation that your friends from the Rotary Club might help your family out if you lost your job faded when unemployment insurance emerged to provide relief." p. 204
[One suggestion on how to build community] "The movement to establish universal service, for example, aims to bring Americans from different pockets of society together in a common cause. Organizations like City Year, which served as the model for AmeriCorps, have made a down payment on the idea that every American should contribute a portion of his or her life to the common good. Volunteers are encouraged to develop the sorts of bonds that might once have formed organically among classmates, church parishioners, or co-workers from across the tracks." p. 212-213
"In Loose Connections, Robert Wuthnow included a vignette about a middle-aged man who had taken great pride in joining his local volunteer fire company. Frank Purelli works hard to make a living, loves his family, and is, through his service as a first responder, deeply invested in his neighbors' well being. Then he considers quitting. It's not that he wants to hang up his boots; his years of service have been a real source of personal pride and joy. But in the end, he concludes, it's become too difficult to afford the sacrifice. His wife works a full-time job, and he has two small children to help raise. Time with the guys at the firehouse is time he's not lending a hand at home. p. 239 [This is a challenge for me because as much as I like the idea of middle-ring relationships, I also believe strongly in being present at home]
"Adults today tend to prize different kinds of connections than their grandparents: more of our time and attention today is spent on more intimate contacts and the most casual acquaintances. We've abandoned the relationships in between - what I define in a later chapter as 'middle-ring' ties." p. xvii
"Moreover, while we're less likely to attend religious services, when we do choose to frequent a house of worship, we're much more likely to travel to attend the services we like best. That being the case, we've abandoned the spiritual diversity that once characterized American congregations: churches today are full of people attuned more perfectly to their own devotion." p. 72
"To put it another way: it wasn't just moving rhetoric or inspiring calls to action that propelled the nation out of the Jim Crow era. The civil rights movement was successful because the demand for equality spread through bonds that already existed within the community. King was a leader of the Southern Christian Leadership conference, an organization of clergymen who were each held in high esteem by members of their congregations. But in addition to the moral sway the clergy had within their communities, the bonds forged among members of the SCLC itself-relationships that mark classic examples of middle-ring ties - served as a crucial foundation for the movement, even through hard times. Some version of this story applies to the gamut of movements that pepper American history. ... None emerged out of nowhere: each was incubated by connections forged between friends, neighbors, and familiar acquaintances. That's not how things work anymore. More recently that 'style' of movement has become almost antiquated. Far from harnessing the connections wrought by preexisting middle-ring relationships, the Tea Party and Occupy movements, two of the most prominent echoes of earlier campaigns for change, were fueled by messages sent through the outer rings. ... The miracle of information technology - blogs and social networks, e-mails and Twitter feeds - made it possible for individuals to find, connect, and organize ideological peers without knowing one another very well." p. 109-110
"What limited time and energy American's have today is devoted to our most intimate relationships and a set of much more one-dimensional connections. Along the way, the middle rings have become the missing rings." p. 120
[On the advent of government social safety nets] "that new crutch exacted a cost. As Robert Nisbet argued decades ago, government bureaucracies have, in many ways, supplanted the primary role that communities once played in guaranteeing care from neighbor to neighbor. Beyond augmenting what existed before, the new infrastructure assumed, in many cases, the role played by acquaintances. ... The expectation that your friends from the Rotary Club might help your family out if you lost your job faded when unemployment insurance emerged to provide relief." p. 204
[One suggestion on how to build community] "The movement to establish universal service, for example, aims to bring Americans from different pockets of society together in a common cause. Organizations like City Year, which served as the model for AmeriCorps, have made a down payment on the idea that every American should contribute a portion of his or her life to the common good. Volunteers are encouraged to develop the sorts of bonds that might once have formed organically among classmates, church parishioners, or co-workers from across the tracks." p. 212-213
"In Loose Connections, Robert Wuthnow included a vignette about a middle-aged man who had taken great pride in joining his local volunteer fire company. Frank Purelli works hard to make a living, loves his family, and is, through his service as a first responder, deeply invested in his neighbors' well being. Then he considers quitting. It's not that he wants to hang up his boots; his years of service have been a real source of personal pride and joy. But in the end, he concludes, it's become too difficult to afford the sacrifice. His wife works a full-time job, and he has two small children to help raise. Time with the guys at the firehouse is time he's not lending a hand at home. p. 239 [This is a challenge for me because as much as I like the idea of middle-ring relationships, I also believe strongly in being present at home]
March 2, 2025
A little dated, overly optimistic, and pre-Trump, but it paints a pretty good picture of why Americans are less neighborly and the nostalgic childhoods of the 1950s we grew-up hearing about are largely a thing of the past.
July 6, 2016
Everything in the middle seems to be disappearing: the middle class, the "missing middle" in housing (i.e. duplexes and small apartment buildings), and, in "The Vanishing Neighbor", our "middle ring" social connections. As Mr. Dunkelman frames it, our inner ring is our close family and friends, which has gotten stronger in recent years. Our outer ring, which has also gotten stronger lately, is the people on the fringes of our social awareness, an often curated and echo-chamber-y group known primarily through social media and e-commerce. The strengthening of the inner and outer rings of our social circles has come at the expense of the middle ring, which we could roughly translate to the titular "neighbor"--people that we encounter regularly and with whom we're familiar, though not really close.
As Mr. Dunkelman describes it, throughout most of U.S. history, we've existed in "townships", which could translate to small towns, city neighborhoods, etc.; and these townships kept us in steady contact with various social strata and enabled us to see the humanity in those who may come from different walks of life.
But increasingly in the 21st century, we in the U.S. have been losing these middle ring connections. Symptoms of this loss include political gridlock, as we become increasingly polarized and herald a refusal to cooperate as a political virtue; and a crisis in health care, as the neighborhood connections which may have enabled the elderly to live longer in place are less available, placing the burden on a system not designed for chronic, long-term care and driving up costs.
Though the author doesn't really go there, I think it's not too far a stretch to imagine that the same otherization that drives political polarization could contribute to the mass shooting phenomenon. And beyond that, I have the sense that all of the "missing middles" mentioned above are somehow related--though I don't feel like trying to unpack that here.
Mr. Dunkelman makes pains not to pass moral judgment on the growth of the inner and outer rings at the expense of the middle--it *is* cool to have this expansive outer ring which could include people all over the country and all over the world--and instead proposes that we need to redesign our institutions, designed for the earlier, perhaps never-to-return conditions, to accommodate the new reality.
I don't recall there were a lot of specifics at this point, and redesigning institutions doesn't sound particularly easy, but I suppose it's more pragmatic to accept things as they are and try to adapt. Though, who knows, if people like James Howard Kunstler are correct, we could end up back in small scale, "townshipped" communities in the not-too-distant future ...
As Mr. Dunkelman describes it, throughout most of U.S. history, we've existed in "townships", which could translate to small towns, city neighborhoods, etc.; and these townships kept us in steady contact with various social strata and enabled us to see the humanity in those who may come from different walks of life.
But increasingly in the 21st century, we in the U.S. have been losing these middle ring connections. Symptoms of this loss include political gridlock, as we become increasingly polarized and herald a refusal to cooperate as a political virtue; and a crisis in health care, as the neighborhood connections which may have enabled the elderly to live longer in place are less available, placing the burden on a system not designed for chronic, long-term care and driving up costs.
Though the author doesn't really go there, I think it's not too far a stretch to imagine that the same otherization that drives political polarization could contribute to the mass shooting phenomenon. And beyond that, I have the sense that all of the "missing middles" mentioned above are somehow related--though I don't feel like trying to unpack that here.
Mr. Dunkelman makes pains not to pass moral judgment on the growth of the inner and outer rings at the expense of the middle--it *is* cool to have this expansive outer ring which could include people all over the country and all over the world--and instead proposes that we need to redesign our institutions, designed for the earlier, perhaps never-to-return conditions, to accommodate the new reality.
I don't recall there were a lot of specifics at this point, and redesigning institutions doesn't sound particularly easy, but I suppose it's more pragmatic to accept things as they are and try to adapt. Though, who knows, if people like James Howard Kunstler are correct, we could end up back in small scale, "townshipped" communities in the not-too-distant future ...
August 7, 2017
A few interesting musings on the changes American society has undergone as we've transitioned from an agrarian, to an industrial, to a digital society. While Dunkelman has a some useful insights into the subject of community, and how we might go about rebuilding it in today's world, the reader would be better served by looking for the interview he gave to Ben Domenech of The Federalist podcast. It will save considerable time, and be more palatable than the print version. Dunkelman's writing style has a tendency towards the academician's version of tough-guy swagger--time and again he shows that he's here to kiss ass and drop names.
July 1, 2015
History of how neighborhoods and the concepts of neighbors have vanished from American society. Our society/politics needs to adapt to the reality that people have connections across the country while not even knowing the names of the people next door. Air conditioning is one of the culprits.
February 12, 2025
Marc Dunkelman’s The Vanishing Neighbor: The Transformation of American Community explores the shifting social dynamics in America and their impact on civic life. Dunkelman, a fellow at the Brown University Public Policy Institute, presents a compelling analysis of how the breakdown of intermediate social institutions has reshaped American communities. He argues that the erosion of these middle-tier associations—such as neighborhood groups, local clubs, and volunteer organizations—has weakened social capital, civic engagement, and democracy itself.
Lessons from the Book
The Decline of Intermediate Institutions Leads to Social FragmentationDunkelman’s central argument is that the disappearance of institutions that once connected individuals to their communities has resulted in a more isolated society. He explains, “The institutions that once formed the foundation of our communities have crumbled, leaving individuals more disconnected than ever.” This fragmentation weakens social ties and diminishes the effectiveness of local problem-solving efforts.
Technology Has Altered the Nature of Social ConnectionsWhile digital communication allows people to maintain broader networks, Dunkelman contends that these relationships are often more superficial. He writes, “We have replaced deep, meaningful relationships with fleeting, virtual interactions.” This shift has led to communities that are more dispersed and less engaged in collective activities.
Rebuilding Social Capital Requires Intentional EffortsDunkelman does not merely diagnose the problem—he also offers solutions. He suggests that revitalizing social capital requires policies that promote community involvement, such as local volunteerism and civic engagement initiatives. “Reknitting the fabric of our communities is possible,” he asserts, “but it requires a conscious effort to foster environments where people can form real, lasting bonds.”
Positive Observation
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its balanced combination of empirical research, historical analysis, and personal anecdotes. Dunkelman effectively bridges academic theory with real-world examples, making his arguments both compelling and accessible. His discussion of how shifting economic and cultural forces have transformed American neighborhoods is particularly insightful.
Negative Observation
Some readers may find that Dunkelman’s perspective leans too heavily on nostalgia for past community life. While he acknowledges the role of modern innovations in shaping new forms of social engagement, the book could have explored online communities and virtual networks in greater depth. His focus on the loss of traditional institutions sometimes overshadows the potential of emerging social structures.
Conclusion
The Vanishing Neighbor is a timely and thought-provoking examination of the transformation of American communities. Dunkelman presents a persuasive case for the importance of intermediate institutions and the consequences of their decline. His insights are particularly relevant in today’s rapidly changing social landscape, where digital communication often replaces face-to-face interactions. The book serves as a wake-up call for those concerned about the future of civic engagement and social cohesion, making it a valuable read for policymakers, community leaders, and anyone interested in the changing nature of American life.
Lessons from the Book
The Decline of Intermediate Institutions Leads to Social FragmentationDunkelman’s central argument is that the disappearance of institutions that once connected individuals to their communities has resulted in a more isolated society. He explains, “The institutions that once formed the foundation of our communities have crumbled, leaving individuals more disconnected than ever.” This fragmentation weakens social ties and diminishes the effectiveness of local problem-solving efforts.
Technology Has Altered the Nature of Social ConnectionsWhile digital communication allows people to maintain broader networks, Dunkelman contends that these relationships are often more superficial. He writes, “We have replaced deep, meaningful relationships with fleeting, virtual interactions.” This shift has led to communities that are more dispersed and less engaged in collective activities.
Rebuilding Social Capital Requires Intentional EffortsDunkelman does not merely diagnose the problem—he also offers solutions. He suggests that revitalizing social capital requires policies that promote community involvement, such as local volunteerism and civic engagement initiatives. “Reknitting the fabric of our communities is possible,” he asserts, “but it requires a conscious effort to foster environments where people can form real, lasting bonds.”
Positive Observation
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its balanced combination of empirical research, historical analysis, and personal anecdotes. Dunkelman effectively bridges academic theory with real-world examples, making his arguments both compelling and accessible. His discussion of how shifting economic and cultural forces have transformed American neighborhoods is particularly insightful.
Negative Observation
Some readers may find that Dunkelman’s perspective leans too heavily on nostalgia for past community life. While he acknowledges the role of modern innovations in shaping new forms of social engagement, the book could have explored online communities and virtual networks in greater depth. His focus on the loss of traditional institutions sometimes overshadows the potential of emerging social structures.
Conclusion
The Vanishing Neighbor is a timely and thought-provoking examination of the transformation of American communities. Dunkelman presents a persuasive case for the importance of intermediate institutions and the consequences of their decline. His insights are particularly relevant in today’s rapidly changing social landscape, where digital communication often replaces face-to-face interactions. The book serves as a wake-up call for those concerned about the future of civic engagement and social cohesion, making it a valuable read for policymakers, community leaders, and anyone interested in the changing nature of American life.
August 27, 2017
I thought the first half of this book was excellent. Dunkelman shows how a variety of social changes (most notably the Internet) have changed the daily fabric of American life. We spend more time in our closest relationships (usually family) and more time with "outer ring" relationships- that is, people who we share very little with, such as someone we meet online and work with on one problem or cause. "Middle ring" relationships such as relationships with neighbors suffer, as do organizations such as fraternal lodges that address a wide range of problems. The Elks Club and bowling leagues have declined, while single-interest and political organizations continue to flourish.
Dunkelman backs his argument up with data: for example, the percentage of Americans who recently ate at least once with relatives grew from 52 percent to 59 percent between the mid-1990s and 2008, while the percentage who report having socialized with neighbors has declined.
This in turn has led to other side effects. Today, it is much easier than in the past to associate primarily with people who are just like you. For example, if you are a Democrat and you want to discuss politics, you can find webpages and Facebook groups dominated by Democrats, which means you can create an all-Democrat world (or all-Republican) world for yourself. And because you are less likely to belong to a general-interest organization or hang around with neighbors than your grandfather, you are less likely to spend significant amounts of time with persons of opposing views. This in turn leads to political polarization: as voters segregate themselves in echo chambers, they have become more ideologically extreme and more likely to favor politicians who disdain compromise.
And because Americans have fewer face-to-face relationships with nonfamily members, social trust in strangers has declined. For example, hitchhiking (common in the crime-ridden 1970s) seems unthinkable for many today, and parental overprotectiveness has become epidemic.
The last third or so of the book seeks to solve the problems outlined in the first two-thirds, but is not very successful. For example, the author wastes a chapter talking about self-control. Now, self-discipline is a fine thing- but its just as important for inner-ring and outer-ring relationships as for middle-ring relationships, so I don't really see how its relevant to this book. (Furthermore, declining crime rates suggest that Americans have more self-control than they did 40 years ago).
Dunkelman backs his argument up with data: for example, the percentage of Americans who recently ate at least once with relatives grew from 52 percent to 59 percent between the mid-1990s and 2008, while the percentage who report having socialized with neighbors has declined.
This in turn has led to other side effects. Today, it is much easier than in the past to associate primarily with people who are just like you. For example, if you are a Democrat and you want to discuss politics, you can find webpages and Facebook groups dominated by Democrats, which means you can create an all-Democrat world (or all-Republican) world for yourself. And because you are less likely to belong to a general-interest organization or hang around with neighbors than your grandfather, you are less likely to spend significant amounts of time with persons of opposing views. This in turn leads to political polarization: as voters segregate themselves in echo chambers, they have become more ideologically extreme and more likely to favor politicians who disdain compromise.
And because Americans have fewer face-to-face relationships with nonfamily members, social trust in strangers has declined. For example, hitchhiking (common in the crime-ridden 1970s) seems unthinkable for many today, and parental overprotectiveness has become epidemic.
The last third or so of the book seeks to solve the problems outlined in the first two-thirds, but is not very successful. For example, the author wastes a chapter talking about self-control. Now, self-discipline is a fine thing- but its just as important for inner-ring and outer-ring relationships as for middle-ring relationships, so I don't really see how its relevant to this book. (Furthermore, declining crime rates suggest that Americans have more self-control than they did 40 years ago).
April 30, 2020
I started out being somewhat unimpressed with Dunkelman's book, probably because the first part of his argument about the "transformation of American community" was running through arguments and insights that I was already pretty familiar with, and did so in what I thought was unnecessarily "clever" ways (the "Chinatown Bus Effect"!). For the roots of the transformation he pointed to shifts in technology, the increase in wealth and mobility and choice, the rise of authenticity, and the sort of sorting all of those things make possible--again, all of which have been well-documented by other scholars. But in the central, and best, section of the book he frames these transformations in terms of the Dunbar's classic division of the way human being's conceive of their social connections: the tightly-knit band, the broadly familiar village, and the mostly transactional tribe. Describing these three groupings as different rings, he built connections that I thought both persuasive and sometimes genuinely original, demonstrating how all these changes in the rhythm of modern (late modern!) life have made it possible for us to spend even more time and energy on the innermost ring (helicopter parenting!), and similarly expand and intensify our connections with distinct, long-distant, tribal rings (hyper-partisanship! online communities!), allowing the middle rings, the rings of ordinary and routine randomness, the connections of the neighborhood that at one time we couldn't escape, to atrophy. The fact that our political institutions were built around assumptions regarding the democratic lessons in toleration and compromise which the middle rings, the neighborhood--or what Dunkelman prefers to call the "township"--is, again, well supported by a lot of scholarship, but his expression of these truths was often really affecting (his example of the movie "Stand By Me" really works). The final section of the book let me down again, somewhat, as he focuses on what struck me as a lot of overly bureaucratic, Clintonian, "third way"-ish approaches to making our socio-political architecture reflect the new realities of American community; the philosophical stakes of what he was discussing really didn't make any appearance, and that's unfortunate. Still, some good sociological work here, worth thinking about.
August 25, 2025
A nonfiction analysis of why our sense of community today feels so different (worse) than our childhood. His thesis is that we have lost "middle ring" relationships in the post-WWII era.
Imagine you are a planet with expanding rings (picture Saturn) that represent levels of relationships.
Inner Ring = your band, those close relationships of family and intimate friends.
Middle Ring = village, those 150ish relationships that you experience on a regular basis.
Outer Ring = the tribe, people you know and are aware of, but have no relationship beyond that one thing you have in common.
For a variety of reasons, in the 21st c. we have seen a strengthening of relationships in the outer (think social media) and inner (think adult children living with parents) rings, at the expense of a decrease of middle ring community (think community gatherings, town halls, volunteer associations, etc.). Among other things, this has weakened America as a nation and reduced our collective sense of community.
I found this thesis accurate and compelling, but the writing less so, which accounts for the lower ranking. It is especially apt for our group as I see F3 as a key component of middle ring relationships.
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Imagine you are a planet with expanding rings (picture Saturn) that represent levels of relationships.
Inner Ring = your band, those close relationships of family and intimate friends.
Middle Ring = village, those 150ish relationships that you experience on a regular basis.
Outer Ring = the tribe, people you know and are aware of, but have no relationship beyond that one thing you have in common.
For a variety of reasons, in the 21st c. we have seen a strengthening of relationships in the outer (think social media) and inner (think adult children living with parents) rings, at the expense of a decrease of middle ring community (think community gatherings, town halls, volunteer associations, etc.). Among other things, this has weakened America as a nation and reduced our collective sense of community.
I found this thesis accurate and compelling, but the writing less so, which accounts for the lower ranking. It is especially apt for our group as I see F3 as a key component of middle ring relationships.
bb
April 22, 2024
I listened to this on audio, and I recently had a longer car ride which allowed me to wrap this up after a lot of delays.
I've been seeking out a lot of books on community and how space and place affect that. This was a good book for that. While it covered a large spread of information and topics, I felt like I understood the author's thesis pretty well throughout. If anything, there was a little too much explanation of topics I was already familiar with. If you follow my Goodreads, I tried a book along similar lines, Geography of Nowhere, but just could not get past the very detailed explanations that I wasn't sure were necessary to make the author's point.
So this book was definitely an improvement. I thought the author's thoughts on different types of "ring relationships" was a good metaphor for the shifts we've seen in American communities. This was a book kind of centered around economics, which wasn't necessarily my goal, but was an interesting wrinkle in this conversation about suburbs and other impacts on American community.
Overall, this book provided some good details to keep in my mind as I consider other literature on this subject.
I've been seeking out a lot of books on community and how space and place affect that. This was a good book for that. While it covered a large spread of information and topics, I felt like I understood the author's thesis pretty well throughout. If anything, there was a little too much explanation of topics I was already familiar with. If you follow my Goodreads, I tried a book along similar lines, Geography of Nowhere, but just could not get past the very detailed explanations that I wasn't sure were necessary to make the author's point.
So this book was definitely an improvement. I thought the author's thoughts on different types of "ring relationships" was a good metaphor for the shifts we've seen in American communities. This was a book kind of centered around economics, which wasn't necessarily my goal, but was an interesting wrinkle in this conversation about suburbs and other impacts on American community.
Overall, this book provided some good details to keep in my mind as I consider other literature on this subject.
September 18, 2021
Reading this for my "Christianity and the Common Good" class. Dunkelman's belief is that the common good is the American Dream. His solution to America's problems and what's lacking in the common good: grit! This is generalizing, obviously, but this simple statement in the conclusion felt lacking. He doesn't actually address the issues of the "vanishing neighbor" (the disappearance of our "middle ring" in our sphere of influence) in a practical way. He just bemoans it. Even though he states in the beginning that he doesn't think we should go back to the "golden age" of America (what even is that?), his final statements imply otherwise. I don't think it's a realistic view of America, especially now that 2020 changes a lot of this thesis. Though he is critical of the systems (social security, medicare, etc.) put in place in the 30s that have not changed AT ALL in the face of our transformed culture of the 21st century, he ends on a positive note: that we will overcome! We will endure! But I am not as hopeful.
June 21, 2018
I appreciated a couple of ideas presented in this book. The author’s review of the three rings of society—inner, middle and outer—and how we seem to be losing the middle ring. I also was interested in his description of how forward-thinking corporations are trying to bring that middle ring back, because it is the source of creative collaboration and innovation.
There were pretty big chunks of this book, though, that were just whine-y and stale. His description of polarised government, for instance, Tell us something we don’t know. Also, some of his arguments were minor and poorly supported. His focus seems to be on the economic impact of the vanishing neighbor. That’s fine—just not what I was expecting. Overall, the book is uneven in quality of thought. So, three stars.
There were pretty big chunks of this book, though, that were just whine-y and stale. His description of polarised government, for instance, Tell us something we don’t know. Also, some of his arguments were minor and poorly supported. His focus seems to be on the economic impact of the vanishing neighbor. That’s fine—just not what I was expecting. Overall, the book is uneven in quality of thought. So, three stars.
February 4, 2024
3.5 stars. Pretty dense read but a really good exploration of how our “middle rings” of community are disappearing in America & examines the cultural, economic, and sociological reasons why.
The last 1/3 of the book addressed larger systemic problems within our political and economic landscape which was a snooze for me only bc I’m painfully informed of the ways our nation lets us down.
Interesting reading this in a Post COVID world and sighing every few pages about how things have only gotten worse lol. Insightful, great compilation of resources / references but def dense. Would recommend.
The last 1/3 of the book addressed larger systemic problems within our political and economic landscape which was a snooze for me only bc I’m painfully informed of the ways our nation lets us down.
Interesting reading this in a Post COVID world and sighing every few pages about how things have only gotten worse lol. Insightful, great compilation of resources / references but def dense. Would recommend.
May 3, 2025
it was interesting. nothing incredible. didn't always seem to have a point.
meandered off on things that might have had meaning to the point but never got there.
yes I finished it.
even when he started to write about how things that used to exist didn't anymore...he never got to the point. why did they disappear (I have a few theories but nothing was ever there) and it just kept not making much of a point.
meandered off on things that might have had meaning to the point but never got there.
yes I finished it.
even when he started to write about how things that used to exist didn't anymore...he never got to the point. why did they disappear (I have a few theories but nothing was ever there) and it just kept not making much of a point.
August 8, 2018
The book is already a little dated but...
So worth a read. Some of what the author speaks about has already happened and it's worth considering what we need to do now. Not out of some sense of sentimentality about what's been lost but out of the recognition of what we have to do, more intentionally, to make it through.
So worth a read. Some of what the author speaks about has already happened and it's worth considering what we need to do now. Not out of some sense of sentimentality about what's been lost but out of the recognition of what we have to do, more intentionally, to make it through.
May 18, 2020
Very interesting read. And enforces that we cannot go back to the way things were before social media.
March 8, 2017
This book about changes in American community goes further than others which simply describe the changes. It explains why the changes have occurred, bringing together several disparate ideas into a coherent argument. Its weakest part is a chapter about what can be done about the problems caused by the changes in community (especially social polarization); that chapter, promoting self-discipline, seems to belong in a self-help book rather than a sociology book. More relevant is Dunkelman's point about what can *not* be done: go back to the way things were.
March 8, 2015
This book was not what I expected and was actually unlike similar books I have encountered before. It spins the idea of America's supposed "falling apart" from the change in how we interact personally and communally and looks at it in a much more optimistic way. Don't think of it as a loss, but rather an evolution. Yes, things aren't the way they used to be, but does that mean they're worse? How about... different?
May 25, 2015
A very interesting book - socially and culturally we are in the third wave and our middle rings (the relationships and volunteering within neighborhoods and communities) are disappearing - after reviewing what is happening in society, government and politics and business the result is that we have to make changes and adjust to the new social system. Definitely worth reading but not a fast read!
September 27, 2015
Evolution of how American society groups, from the British colony and feuds to communities and cooperatives to technology-driven networks. it also analyzes how the way the society groups affects education, tolerance, diversity, problem solving, association, politics...
October 17, 2014
An interesting, if somewhat repetitive read. Yes, technology and mobility have taken their toll in the old neighborhood, but there is still hope for meaningful connection.
November 18, 2014
My copy looks like a highlighter bled out -- but you may have to be a little wonky about this stuff to love it as much as I did.
April 30, 2015
Pretty good but a lot of reiteration of what we all know.
Read
June 30, 2015Petered out at the end with the discussion of cultivating grit as a means of bolstering "middle-ring" connections, but a very interesting read overall.
Read
October 19, 2015307.0973 D919 2014
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