Sighs loudly.
Well, that was heartbreaking. And not in the fun "oh my feels" way.
I can't even tell you how agonizing it is to wait and wait and wait and wait for a book—a sequel, no less, to a book you absolutely adored—only for it to suck.
And I pray that you will never have to experience that unique pain.
Was I expecting too much from this book? Maybe. My tastes when it comes to villainous love interests are extremely specific.
Namely, they have to have some kind of goddamn appeal.
Of which, War had none.
Now, what made me love Pestilence so much was the fact that Pestilence himself was so unapologetically ruthless. After Sara tried to kill him, he dragged her behind his horse for miles, uncaring of her needs and her wellbeing.
And he had his own sadistic charm. I love that shit! I love sadistic villains!!!!! Sure, that makes me a bit odd to some. So sue me.
And the best part? Sara wasn't struck with insta-love (or lust) for this harbinger of the apocalypse despite how "sexy" he was. The fall was slow, so by the time we reached the end with them together and happy and at peace, it felt earned.
Absolutely nothing in War was earned. Least of all the romance.
God, I don't even know where to begin. I started out enjoying the book, too. I thought Miriam was a very real and relatable character for the first 10% of the book, but pretty much as soon as War showed up, that all went down the drain.
That's not exactly the reaction you want to your main love interest.
Miriam's every thought in relation to War is how attractive he is. I really wish Laura had allowed more time for editing/beta readers, because they might have been able to tell her that you can describe a person's attractiveness without harping on their "sexiness" and "beauty" and whatever other adjective you feel inclined to use every three lines.
A person's bearing and how they carry themselves can be attractive if you describe it properly. Their personality. Their snide remarks. Their utter confidence in their every word and declaration.
But all War had was his looks, unfortunately. And, honestly, he was just a Walmart brand Khal Drogo. I'm not even into Drogo! But at least he and Dany had an actual, real connection that I never once felt between War and Miriam.
My villains need to have a certain charm to them in order for me to fall for them. They need to have a silver tongue, perhaps be adept at deception and sadism. War had literally none of this, and that falls completely on the author.
All of War's dialogue, literally every single line of it, was as bland as a blob of mayonnaise on a white bread sandwich. At one point, Miriam had described him as "silver-tongued" and I literally laughed out loud. Bitch where??? All he did was go on and on about how she needed to surrender to him, and how she was his wife, promised to him by God himself.
Wife, wife, wife. I was having war flashbacks to a certain popular author and her obsession with "mates."
Quite honestly, if you delete 98% of the usage of the word "wife," I think War's dialogue would improve by about 20%. Not much, but God it's something. I love the use of pet names, especially from my villains, and especially if they are disparaging or possessive in any way.
But wife? I never thought I could grow to hate such a commonly used word. If I am ever married, I will drop kick my husband if he calls me that more than once.
And considering War is supposed to be war incarnate... I honestly didn't get that vibe. He was a stereotypical depiction of a warlord that could raise the dead. That's it. I might've had far too specific expectations for this book, but what Laura gave me just... didn't cut it. I felt none of war's violence and fear and panic and desperation and ruin from War himself. He kinda just rode into battle and we were shown what his army did as it raided and sacked cities.
Quite honestly, War did very little actual violence himself. He was just the threat of violence, and even that I didn't feel because Miriam was never in any danger from him, as he swore over and over again that he would never hurt her.
Yawn.
And my biggest most glaring complaint lays in Miriam and the fact that she was constantly flip-flopping between "I care for him despite his ruthlessness" and "I hate him for his ruthlessness!"
Make up your goddamn mind. Maybe I'm a person who is too intent on holding onto her grudges, but based on the atrocities that War committed against countless innocent lives, I would never in a million years be able to look past it just because he has cheese grater abs. No dick is that bomb. And the fact that I was supposed to believe this was possible and a legitimate basis for their "relationship" is insulting to me as a reader.
Anyway, I could complain about War for days, let's move on.
A gigantic gripe I had with the book was Miriam's relationship with characters other than War. Other than it being nonexistent except for a shallow, skin deep friendship with one other woman in camp, nothing at all felt organic or real.
Miriam is fucking War by like... 30% in? I can't remember when the boring as hell oral sex started, but I know it was early. Anyway, the entire camp knew this. Everyone knew that this girl was getting special treatment from the man who had slaughtered everyone they ever knew and loved because she was sucking his dick.
And no one other than War's phobos riders (basically his elite guard/navy seals) were disgusted by this.
I take huge fucking issue with this.
Listen, I am all for female solidarity. I love me some women lifting up other women. We gotta stand by each other in this patriarchal world. But the fact that not one single woman in this camp was even slightly angry at Miriam for shacking up with the man who is soaked in the blood of every dead relative and friend and child and lover they had? Absolutely fucking ludicrous.
Back during World War II, the women who slept with the Nazis were shunned and shamed. Whether they slept with them willingly due do their support for the Nazi's cause, they felt they had to in order to survive, or they were literally forced into their beds didn't matter to the other people in their town/city. They had their heads shaved publicly in the town square and were cursed and spat upon and kicked from their homes.
Was this right? Absolutely not. But it is still very much one of the darker parts of human nature that comes out when war comes to call.
So you're telling me that Zara, the woman who watched her family get slaughtered by War's army, then found her sister and brother-in-law's cold bodies cut down in the middle of the street as her young nephew lay dying of an arrow wound to the chest, is now gonna be buddy-buddy with Miriam and make witty jokes about her fucking War?
What the fuck, Laura?
I won't even get into the fact that Zara didn't know for sure that Miriam wasn't being forced into this arrangement by War, and how insensitive jokes about how much more fun War's company is to hers would be if Miriam was being sexually assaulted by this harbinger of death and violence.
It was a shallow, not well thought out attempt at another relationship for Miriam to have with another character. I mean, if War's relationship with her was bland and dry as sandpaper, you know that no other relationship is gonna be any good.
And holy God have mercy on my soul the sex scenes were so incredibly boring and repetitive. Everything about this book was boring and repetitive, but how do you manage to make the sex with a supposedly adonis-like warlord boring?
There was nothing but missionary levels of sex and oral going on between these two. No amount of pussy eating was gonna make the sex any hotter, Laura, I'm sorry to tell you this. They did not even once try a different position or attempt to spice it up in any way. War kept bringing up how a proper husband "keeps his wife chained to his bed" and yet nothing even remotely kinky or BDSM related occurred.
Not that I really care that much, as I seriously, sincerely felt absolutely nothing for War at all.
God, I'm so angry.
I'm thankful that this series consists of four loosely connected stories, rather than actual sequels. It allows me to be tentatively, warily hopeful for Famine and Death based on the sneak peaks we got of them both in this book.
I so want to be excited, Laura, but God my faith took such a big hit with this. I cannot stress enough how much I must've disassociated and read words that totally did not register in my head from like 45% and on.
God, I'm heartbroken.
And as for how Laura handled the Palestine/Israel conflict? I am nowhere near educated enough on the subject to even attempt to dissect it. But, based on what I've seen others say about how it was handled (who undoubtedly know more about it than me), I'm gonna settle on a "big fuckin' yikes, dude" and leave it at that.
Anyway, here's to hoping Famine will be better. And, if not Famine, please don't fuck up Death.