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Reclaiming Masculinity: Seven Biblical Principles for Being the Man God Wants You to Be
A positive and biblical vision of what it means to be a man
In a world where masculinity is often associated with toxicity, what does it mean to "be a man"?
In a straightforward and empathetic way, Matt Fuller gets beyond cultural confusion and stereotypes as he examines what the Bible says is distinctive about being a man. He outlines a positive vision of biblical masculinity and shows what that might look like in real life today. Men will be encouraged to be sacrificial when leading, to work hard, and to protect and invest in others.
Whatever your personality and interests—whether you would rather skin a rabbit, read a book, or remodel your house—this book will give you confidence and direction to be the man God wants you to be.
In a world where masculinity is often associated with toxicity, what does it mean to "be a man"?
In a straightforward and empathetic way, Matt Fuller gets beyond cultural confusion and stereotypes as he examines what the Bible says is distinctive about being a man. He outlines a positive vision of biblical masculinity and shows what that might look like in real life today. Men will be encouraged to be sacrificial when leading, to work hard, and to protect and invest in others.
Whatever your personality and interests—whether you would rather skin a rabbit, read a book, or remodel your house—this book will give you confidence and direction to be the man God wants you to be.
146 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 4, 2023
27 people are currently reading
109 people want to read
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September 24, 2023
I didn’t read this book to figure out how to be the man God wants me to be… because I’m a woman.
But I was curious how Fuller approached the term ‘masculinity’ in a time when it’s pretty much only used negatively.
I’m a woman, but I’m married to a man and I’m raising two sons. My husband is bombarded with the term ‘toxic masculinity’ and my sons will have to figure out their place in a world where they’re made to feel guilty just for being a male.
While this book is primarily written for males, I think women can benefit from reading this in three major ways: recognizing and encouraging biblical masculinity in our husbands, knowing what to look for in a potential husband if we are single, and knowing what to teach our sons if we are mothers.
Fuller acknowledges throughout the book the ways males have hurt others, often with their strength or dominance. But he offers this:
“I want to argue that there’s a difference between that definition of ‘traditional masculinity’ and what we could call ‘biblical masculinity.’”
The traits of ‘traditional masculinity’ the American Psychological Association have identified as often psychologically harmful are: “stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression.”
Fuller clarifies: “To say that some traits can be harmful if indulged excessively is not the same as saying that they always are.”
For example: “…we honor and give thanks for [soldiers’] stoicism and aggression during armed conflict… Competitiveness can be useful in driving innovation. If I’m in a building that’s on fire, I’d like the firefighter to assert some dominance and order me around.”
Certain traits are not inherently bad, but they can be used for good or for harm. So instead defining ‘traits’ of what a man should look like, Fuller provides principles in how men can be more godly men.
I like that Fuller points out how we’ve approached this topic in a negative way— stop doing this, stop acting like that— instead of offering young men a positive vision of what they should be striving for. Constant negativity demoralizes a person, but even in parenting you recognize the change in attitude and results if you shift from a negative ‘Stop hitting your sister’ to a positive ‘You need to have gentle and kind hands.’ It changes from ‘I’m bad’ to ‘I can be good.’
This book attempts to fill in that gap and provide men a positive and helpful framework for living in the world.
He quotes Jordan Peterson, one of the few who promote positive direction, who boils ‘being man’ into two directives: “taking responsibility and living for a purpose.”
These are good, but Fuller fleshes them out in this book and gives them legs, based on Scripture. We shouldn’t just be asking what kind of man or woman we should be, but asking what kind of man or woman God wants us to be. Because what the culture tells us and what God tells us, especially when it comes to identity, are two very different things.
In fact, the culture kinda just wants to throw out the term ‘male’ altogether. We get a hodge podge of contradicting ideas in which gender becomes a fantasy, men are oppressors, men should be more like women, women are better men than men, etc.
This book doesn’t tackle all of that and doesn’t get into the political weeds which I think was good for the purposes of this book. If you want to read more about some of the other tangents of this conversation, check out the list of related books at the end of this review.
To get right down to it these are his seven principles “that describe a biblical, healthy, confident, helpful masculinity”:
1. Men and women really are different (but don’t exaggerate it)
- He covers some controversial passages here (1 Cor 11; Eph 5) and reiterates that what is appropriate for dress and showing respect can differ according to culture and we can’t be too prescriptive here
- He brings in relevant studies that talk of the real biological differences in men and women, physically and neurologically, etc.
2. Take responsibility
- He looks at Adam’s role and responsibility in Eden showing men’s headship is grounded in creation and defined by Christ’s sacrificial love for the church (Eph 5)
- It’s important here to point out that Fuller rightly says that women are not called to submit to all men as many read out of that infamous passage. The biblical submission asked of women is in the context of her committed marriage to her husband with the expectation that the husband is loving her sacrificially not holding dominance over her.
3. Be ambitious for God
- This is the recognition of men’s bent towards achievement and recognizing what ambitions are selfish or not
- He talks about men’s relationship to work and encouraging men to be productive, not idle, with the emphasis on ‘productive’ not ‘paid’ work. There is always something to do that is productive, whether or not you’re getting paid for it. How you spend your time should signify serving in some capacity and with eternity in mind.
4. Use your strength to protect
- This (and the next one) may be one of the most contested ones in the list because of people’s very real experiences in which men were violent or manipulative.
- “Violence towards the wicked is required in order to provide protection to the innocent. So we shouldn’t be surprised that we see that same model in the Bible. God himself is described as a warrior who fights to protect his people.”
- Before your feathers are ruffled, he clarifies that the physical “protective, measured aggression” that Moses shows in Exodus when he comes down to the golden calf would not be condoned today but is the equivalent of church discipline— fiercely protecting the Word of God, God’s church, and God’s people. There is emphasis here on raising hands in prayer, not in violence, but still with a zeal to guard and protect what is good.
- He covers 1 and 2 Timothy 2 where the role of women in the church is discussed. (He holds a complementarian view if you’re wondering)
5. Display thoughtful chivalry
- He says, “Chivalry is using strength to serve.”
- He acknowledges that when women are antagonistic towards men opening doors or helping them, we shouldn’t be quick to judge because there’s usually an experience or a pain that may be behind that reaction. It doesn’t mean men stop helping women, and they can be gracious and unoffended when their help is rejected.
- There is brief talk of pornography here and how watching porn dehumanizes women.
- There is also a small section on how to treat women while dating and pursuing marriage.
6. Invest in friendships
- “Hardship + friendship = maturity
Hardship + loneliness= destructive sin”
- “when we talk about our triumphs it can create competition; when we talk about our failures it builds community.”
- We always need people around us who are willing to kindly rebuke us when we have strayed and men have a tendency not to keep close friends or talk of their failures, but this is essential for growth and becoming more Christlike.
7. Raise healthy ‘sons’ (sons is in quotes because, like Paul to Timothy, men can be father figures to young men or boys who are not their biological sons)
- “Part of training is discipline. Boys do need boundaries, and it’s kind to provide them. I’ve yet to see a tennis match where the players complain that someone has painted lines on the ground.”
- He reminds us that discipline should not be harsh, bullying, or belittling, but kind and wise.
- “Every Christian dad needs to model to their children that the Christian life is not one merely or primarily of moral conformity— it is a life of repentance and faith. It’s a life in which behavior flows out of knowing that God accepts us, not out of a desire to achieve acceptance.”
- We have to be ready to admit our own wrongdoings to our kids and ask for forgiveness.
“We can boil all of these down to something like this: Being a godly man means taking responsibility to lead, being ambitious for God’s kingdom, using your strength to protect the church and serve others, investing in friends, and raising godly ‘sons.’”
These points are simplified here. I don’t think you can just take this list and run with it without reading his explanations further. I know just the word chivalry probably conjures certain feelings for a lot of people. So this list is the bare bones and can easily be taken out of context and thrown out without giving Fuller a chance to show what he means.
In that regard, I think this would be a good book for a group of men to go through together. It’s short so it’s a pretty quick read and would foster some good conversations and areas where they can provide each other with accountability.
This book is not meant to be exhaustive or prescriptive. These are broad-stroke principles not daily routine schedules. I think there is always going to be a vagueness to ‘what should it look like to be a godly man or woman’ because we encounter so many diverse situations and challenges. It’s not a list of traits we can check off each day, but principles we can act towards based on a heart that is grounded in Christ’s love and sacrifice. There is room for differences here— every man is not going to look the same or like the same things, but ‘manhood’ is more defined by a right posture before God and towards others.
My husband didn’t read this book (at least at the time of writing this review) but I did discuss it with him to see what he thought about it. I asked what he would or would not want to read when he picked up a book with this title. He said he would be turned off if the author talked about masculinity being about ruggedness. (Fuller did not.) He said he would like to read about biblical masculinity being about men as bold leaders in ministry, in their homes, and in the world. About men being protectors and servants. (Fuller delivered.)
Obviously, my view of this book can only go so far. I’m not a man and I don’t fully understand the struggles that men face in being men. I don’t fully understand what they’re up against when they’re at the receiving end of ‘toxic masculinity’ rhetoric.
I do know that it’s a confusing time to be a man just as it is a confusing time to be a woman. It seems whatever we choose is wrong— according to the culture. But we can’t look to the ever-shifting definitions of the culture for this.
And that’s why Fuller’s book is important and helpful. He shows us the timeless truths of the Bible and the principles given on how we relate to one another and work out of God’s design for males and females.
As a woman reading this book, I feel like Fuller did a good job of defending women and validating a lot of the fears and anxieties women may have towards men that men don’t understand or think about. I appreciated the inclusion of the pornography discussion because that is too often overlooked or deemed irrelevant when that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I liked how he reiterated that getting married isn’t a qualifier for being a godly man. Paul and Jesus were both unmarried. But even unmarried, men will still interact with women and children and these principles can be applied in whatever situation we find ourselves in.
I also really appreciated his emphasis at the end of forgiveness and redemption. Some may read the book and think they’ve missed the boat on all of these principles, but it’s never too late and God’s mercy and forgiveness is abundant. None of us will perfectly carry out God’s design for us, but with the Spirit’s help, he will continually refine us until we are at home with Him.
I would definitely recommend this book for both men and women, but especially men, because ‘toxic’ is not the only way to describe masculinity, and God’s design and plan for men is important and essential. Women and children need men who desire to step into the role of sacrificial, servant leader who will protect and stand up for what is right and good with both zeal and compassion. I believe this book will set men on the right trajectory to that end.
Further Reading
The Problem of Porn by Vaughan Roberts (Fuller did not broach the topic of pornography in-depth but acknowledged its significance in the topic of masculinity. Culture’s view towards porn is troubling to say the least. This short book addresses it more directly)
Raising Confident Kids in a Confusing World by Ed Drew (this is a great resource for parents in how to talk to your kids about gender, friendships, sex, and marriage)
The War Against Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers (this is an informative secular book with some overlap in Fuller’s book talking about the differences between girls and boys and how ideas and policies meant to help girls are mostly just hurting boys)
Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality: Empowering Your Kids to Understand and Live Out God’s Design
by Hillary Morgan Ferrer (this is a pretty comprehensive book about all things related to sexuality that is a really practical guide for parents in knowing how to talk to your kids about this stuff)
What God Has to Say about Our Bodies by Sam Allberry (this book talks about bodies and why they matter which is relevant to the gender discussion; there is also further discussion on gender roles in our culture and gender identity; would be especially helpful for men who feel like they don’t ‘fit’ in the box of ‘man’)
Men and Women in the Church by Kevin DeYoung (if you would like a short book that looks further into the controversial Bible passages about men and women’s roles in the church, this book is it. If you want a longer version, read Tim Keller’s Evangelical Feminism)
Eve in Exile and the Restoration of Femininity by Rebekah Merkle (if you would like to see a book on femininity in today’s culture, this may be a good option for you- if you’re looking for something blunt and straightforward.)
Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund (for anyone who just feels like a failure and needs some hope and encouragement)
**Received a copy via The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review**
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
But I was curious how Fuller approached the term ‘masculinity’ in a time when it’s pretty much only used negatively.
I’m a woman, but I’m married to a man and I’m raising two sons. My husband is bombarded with the term ‘toxic masculinity’ and my sons will have to figure out their place in a world where they’re made to feel guilty just for being a male.
While this book is primarily written for males, I think women can benefit from reading this in three major ways: recognizing and encouraging biblical masculinity in our husbands, knowing what to look for in a potential husband if we are single, and knowing what to teach our sons if we are mothers.
Fuller acknowledges throughout the book the ways males have hurt others, often with their strength or dominance. But he offers this:
“I want to argue that there’s a difference between that definition of ‘traditional masculinity’ and what we could call ‘biblical masculinity.’”
The traits of ‘traditional masculinity’ the American Psychological Association have identified as often psychologically harmful are: “stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression.”
Fuller clarifies: “To say that some traits can be harmful if indulged excessively is not the same as saying that they always are.”
For example: “…we honor and give thanks for [soldiers’] stoicism and aggression during armed conflict… Competitiveness can be useful in driving innovation. If I’m in a building that’s on fire, I’d like the firefighter to assert some dominance and order me around.”
Certain traits are not inherently bad, but they can be used for good or for harm. So instead defining ‘traits’ of what a man should look like, Fuller provides principles in how men can be more godly men.
I like that Fuller points out how we’ve approached this topic in a negative way— stop doing this, stop acting like that— instead of offering young men a positive vision of what they should be striving for. Constant negativity demoralizes a person, but even in parenting you recognize the change in attitude and results if you shift from a negative ‘Stop hitting your sister’ to a positive ‘You need to have gentle and kind hands.’ It changes from ‘I’m bad’ to ‘I can be good.’
This book attempts to fill in that gap and provide men a positive and helpful framework for living in the world.
He quotes Jordan Peterson, one of the few who promote positive direction, who boils ‘being man’ into two directives: “taking responsibility and living for a purpose.”
These are good, but Fuller fleshes them out in this book and gives them legs, based on Scripture. We shouldn’t just be asking what kind of man or woman we should be, but asking what kind of man or woman God wants us to be. Because what the culture tells us and what God tells us, especially when it comes to identity, are two very different things.
In fact, the culture kinda just wants to throw out the term ‘male’ altogether. We get a hodge podge of contradicting ideas in which gender becomes a fantasy, men are oppressors, men should be more like women, women are better men than men, etc.
This book doesn’t tackle all of that and doesn’t get into the political weeds which I think was good for the purposes of this book. If you want to read more about some of the other tangents of this conversation, check out the list of related books at the end of this review.
To get right down to it these are his seven principles “that describe a biblical, healthy, confident, helpful masculinity”:
1. Men and women really are different (but don’t exaggerate it)
- He covers some controversial passages here (1 Cor 11; Eph 5) and reiterates that what is appropriate for dress and showing respect can differ according to culture and we can’t be too prescriptive here
- He brings in relevant studies that talk of the real biological differences in men and women, physically and neurologically, etc.
2. Take responsibility
- He looks at Adam’s role and responsibility in Eden showing men’s headship is grounded in creation and defined by Christ’s sacrificial love for the church (Eph 5)
- It’s important here to point out that Fuller rightly says that women are not called to submit to all men as many read out of that infamous passage. The biblical submission asked of women is in the context of her committed marriage to her husband with the expectation that the husband is loving her sacrificially not holding dominance over her.
3. Be ambitious for God
- This is the recognition of men’s bent towards achievement and recognizing what ambitions are selfish or not
- He talks about men’s relationship to work and encouraging men to be productive, not idle, with the emphasis on ‘productive’ not ‘paid’ work. There is always something to do that is productive, whether or not you’re getting paid for it. How you spend your time should signify serving in some capacity and with eternity in mind.
4. Use your strength to protect
- This (and the next one) may be one of the most contested ones in the list because of people’s very real experiences in which men were violent or manipulative.
- “Violence towards the wicked is required in order to provide protection to the innocent. So we shouldn’t be surprised that we see that same model in the Bible. God himself is described as a warrior who fights to protect his people.”
- Before your feathers are ruffled, he clarifies that the physical “protective, measured aggression” that Moses shows in Exodus when he comes down to the golden calf would not be condoned today but is the equivalent of church discipline— fiercely protecting the Word of God, God’s church, and God’s people. There is emphasis here on raising hands in prayer, not in violence, but still with a zeal to guard and protect what is good.
- He covers 1 and 2 Timothy 2 where the role of women in the church is discussed. (He holds a complementarian view if you’re wondering)
5. Display thoughtful chivalry
- He says, “Chivalry is using strength to serve.”
- He acknowledges that when women are antagonistic towards men opening doors or helping them, we shouldn’t be quick to judge because there’s usually an experience or a pain that may be behind that reaction. It doesn’t mean men stop helping women, and they can be gracious and unoffended when their help is rejected.
- There is brief talk of pornography here and how watching porn dehumanizes women.
- There is also a small section on how to treat women while dating and pursuing marriage.
6. Invest in friendships
- “Hardship + friendship = maturity
Hardship + loneliness= destructive sin”
- “when we talk about our triumphs it can create competition; when we talk about our failures it builds community.”
- We always need people around us who are willing to kindly rebuke us when we have strayed and men have a tendency not to keep close friends or talk of their failures, but this is essential for growth and becoming more Christlike.
7. Raise healthy ‘sons’ (sons is in quotes because, like Paul to Timothy, men can be father figures to young men or boys who are not their biological sons)
- “Part of training is discipline. Boys do need boundaries, and it’s kind to provide them. I’ve yet to see a tennis match where the players complain that someone has painted lines on the ground.”
- He reminds us that discipline should not be harsh, bullying, or belittling, but kind and wise.
- “Every Christian dad needs to model to their children that the Christian life is not one merely or primarily of moral conformity— it is a life of repentance and faith. It’s a life in which behavior flows out of knowing that God accepts us, not out of a desire to achieve acceptance.”
- We have to be ready to admit our own wrongdoings to our kids and ask for forgiveness.
“We can boil all of these down to something like this: Being a godly man means taking responsibility to lead, being ambitious for God’s kingdom, using your strength to protect the church and serve others, investing in friends, and raising godly ‘sons.’”
These points are simplified here. I don’t think you can just take this list and run with it without reading his explanations further. I know just the word chivalry probably conjures certain feelings for a lot of people. So this list is the bare bones and can easily be taken out of context and thrown out without giving Fuller a chance to show what he means.
In that regard, I think this would be a good book for a group of men to go through together. It’s short so it’s a pretty quick read and would foster some good conversations and areas where they can provide each other with accountability.
This book is not meant to be exhaustive or prescriptive. These are broad-stroke principles not daily routine schedules. I think there is always going to be a vagueness to ‘what should it look like to be a godly man or woman’ because we encounter so many diverse situations and challenges. It’s not a list of traits we can check off each day, but principles we can act towards based on a heart that is grounded in Christ’s love and sacrifice. There is room for differences here— every man is not going to look the same or like the same things, but ‘manhood’ is more defined by a right posture before God and towards others.
My husband didn’t read this book (at least at the time of writing this review) but I did discuss it with him to see what he thought about it. I asked what he would or would not want to read when he picked up a book with this title. He said he would be turned off if the author talked about masculinity being about ruggedness. (Fuller did not.) He said he would like to read about biblical masculinity being about men as bold leaders in ministry, in their homes, and in the world. About men being protectors and servants. (Fuller delivered.)
Obviously, my view of this book can only go so far. I’m not a man and I don’t fully understand the struggles that men face in being men. I don’t fully understand what they’re up against when they’re at the receiving end of ‘toxic masculinity’ rhetoric.
I do know that it’s a confusing time to be a man just as it is a confusing time to be a woman. It seems whatever we choose is wrong— according to the culture. But we can’t look to the ever-shifting definitions of the culture for this.
And that’s why Fuller’s book is important and helpful. He shows us the timeless truths of the Bible and the principles given on how we relate to one another and work out of God’s design for males and females.
As a woman reading this book, I feel like Fuller did a good job of defending women and validating a lot of the fears and anxieties women may have towards men that men don’t understand or think about. I appreciated the inclusion of the pornography discussion because that is too often overlooked or deemed irrelevant when that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I liked how he reiterated that getting married isn’t a qualifier for being a godly man. Paul and Jesus were both unmarried. But even unmarried, men will still interact with women and children and these principles can be applied in whatever situation we find ourselves in.
I also really appreciated his emphasis at the end of forgiveness and redemption. Some may read the book and think they’ve missed the boat on all of these principles, but it’s never too late and God’s mercy and forgiveness is abundant. None of us will perfectly carry out God’s design for us, but with the Spirit’s help, he will continually refine us until we are at home with Him.
I would definitely recommend this book for both men and women, but especially men, because ‘toxic’ is not the only way to describe masculinity, and God’s design and plan for men is important and essential. Women and children need men who desire to step into the role of sacrificial, servant leader who will protect and stand up for what is right and good with both zeal and compassion. I believe this book will set men on the right trajectory to that end.
Further Reading
The Problem of Porn by Vaughan Roberts (Fuller did not broach the topic of pornography in-depth but acknowledged its significance in the topic of masculinity. Culture’s view towards porn is troubling to say the least. This short book addresses it more directly)
Raising Confident Kids in a Confusing World by Ed Drew (this is a great resource for parents in how to talk to your kids about gender, friendships, sex, and marriage)
The War Against Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers (this is an informative secular book with some overlap in Fuller’s book talking about the differences between girls and boys and how ideas and policies meant to help girls are mostly just hurting boys)
Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality: Empowering Your Kids to Understand and Live Out God’s Design
by Hillary Morgan Ferrer (this is a pretty comprehensive book about all things related to sexuality that is a really practical guide for parents in knowing how to talk to your kids about this stuff)
What God Has to Say about Our Bodies by Sam Allberry (this book talks about bodies and why they matter which is relevant to the gender discussion; there is also further discussion on gender roles in our culture and gender identity; would be especially helpful for men who feel like they don’t ‘fit’ in the box of ‘man’)
Men and Women in the Church by Kevin DeYoung (if you would like a short book that looks further into the controversial Bible passages about men and women’s roles in the church, this book is it. If you want a longer version, read Tim Keller’s Evangelical Feminism)
Eve in Exile and the Restoration of Femininity by Rebekah Merkle (if you would like to see a book on femininity in today’s culture, this may be a good option for you- if you’re looking for something blunt and straightforward.)
Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund (for anyone who just feels like a failure and needs some hope and encouragement)
**Received a copy via The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review**
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
August 24, 2023
Don't think I disagreed with any of it, but there wasn't much depth, detail or biblical derivation. But maybe that wasn't the point of the book. I left confirmed in my views, but not more convinced of them.
October 7, 2023
This has proved to be a great book for a book group - discussion has been flowing even at 7 in the morning. It raises some interesting ideas although I’d say the explorations aren’t too in depth. I’m still not 100% what it means to be a godly man but defo a bit better informed… High rating mainly due to being a good book to stimulate men to talk.
Downgraded as defo not a 4 star book, probs more 2.5.
Downgraded as defo not a 4 star book, probs more 2.5.
October 9, 2023
Basically all the things I already thought, so must be a good book
December 20, 2023
With much being said about masculinity, Fuller provides a clear biblical position for what it looks like to be a man, and the great need for Christian men to look different than the “ideal man” being portrayed by both the left and right sides of masculinity and femininity. Many great pieces of advice for husbands and fathers, and other great anecdotes on the need to help raise up other men in our churches and community as a whole. I found the reference to Jonathan Tsarks article “Does My Son Know You?” to be a compelling argument for the need for men to be men, without any apology.
August 16, 2023
Very good book. Centrally focused on biblical masculinity and how men should live distinct lives, and looking out for the needs of the church and women (among other things). Matt writes in a clear and understandable manner.
If I had one bone to pick, there were points where he made assertions based on his own position in life without exploring or considering those who do things differently. Particularly regarding the points he made around both spouses working, it's true it makes no difference, but, without exploring the nuance it results in a one sided argument. You cannot make any prescriptions in such cases, both options come with trade offs - and like most things there is no silver bullet. It comes down to personal decisions as to what is right at the time for your family.
If I had one bone to pick, there were points where he made assertions based on his own position in life without exploring or considering those who do things differently. Particularly regarding the points he made around both spouses working, it's true it makes no difference, but, without exploring the nuance it results in a one sided argument. You cannot make any prescriptions in such cases, both options come with trade offs - and like most things there is no silver bullet. It comes down to personal decisions as to what is right at the time for your family.
December 19, 2024
I really enjoyed this book, it’s a short read but filled with a lot that I think is really valuable to men of any age. In a time where much of Western society wants us to reject our masculinity, and then another subset thinks that masculinity is the accumulation of wealth, cars, and women - Fuller presents a biblical view on masculinity that is both firm and compassionate, self-sacrificial but also essential to personal flourishing. He aims to help encourage men that we can embrace our traditionally masculine traits in healthy ways that bring the best out of ourselves and those around us
December 5, 2024
Strong principles
August 4, 2025
This book was very good! It really gives you a good advice on how to be a godly man! My only gripe is the author was a little too PC. But it’s understandable knowing what country he lives in.
June 28, 2024
Good book. Don't be a tool. Read book.
April 7, 2025
Excellent book that explores masculinity from a biblical lens, acknowledging the distorted views of what makes a man masculine within a subjective and relativistic postmodern era.
January 3, 2025
An outstanding little book. Well worth the read. I started reading this on a recent flight expecting that I'd read the intro and maybe part of a chapter or so, but the author's writing was so compelling that I found myself reading this book in one sitting, just finishing as plane was landing. I will confess that I picked this up not sure what I was getting into. There are many books on Christian masculinity that seem to be pushing one particular agenda or another and I was a bit doubtful this book would prove to be all that fruitful. Yet? While I'm not sure I particularly learned anything brand new, this book was a good reminder on what are the hallmarks of Christian masculinity, as well as what does not signify such. We are in an age where depending on your culture, religion, or creed (or lack thereof), manhood may look quite different. Some may even cringe to see the word "masculinity", with all the negative connotations that go hand-in-hand (especially tied to the word that most would associate with it these days - toxic) and some would roll their eyes even to think we need to discuss such an archaic and/or outdated word that assigns traits or qualities to a particular gender. I would argue this book is well needed, now more than ever.
The author writes with superb tact and skill, coming from a Christian worldview and going often to the well of the Bible. Yet the author is very self-aware and understanding of the world and culture (specifically Western evangelicalism) in which many Christians find themselves living. He writes with compassion and yet surprising firmness when necessary. He seeks to understand women's perspectives and fears - something that is sometimes sadly lacking in Christian books. I found myself enjoying yet also being convicted by the way the author talks about specific Christian masculinity and what it means to be a man according to the Bible. He is not overly dogmatic or pushing of certain cultural norms. Instead, he acknowledges that masculinity may (and will!) look different in different contexts and that we as Christians need to be very careful to not forbid something the Bible has not forbid, neither mandate something that the Bible has not mandated. This is a book written in times where many would dare say there is no substantive difference between manhood and womanhood, yet the author clearly and boldly proclaims that there is a real and meaningful difference between the two. I appreciate the author's reliance on Scripture, care to understand the current times in which we live, and winsome and frank dialogue. I also appreciated his British humor - it very much helped leaven the work with occasional levity! I think I also appreciated reading an author who is not in the American evangelical sphere (nothing necessarily wrong with that, but good to read other perspectives). Also, with much relief I can report that this book doesn't just talk about the man/woman relationship. The author speaks of the relationships a man will have in his family, in the church and in the world at large, acknowledging that there is much more to being a man than simply being married or having a child. It discusses the importance and necessity of solid friendships and of mentoring relationships.
One more point? Some books are timeless and you can read them in any year and they will be fruitful. This book (published in 2023) talks about recent events and the ethos of the western age and I am grateful for it, as much as I usually prefer reading old books. The topic of masculinity is one such that I feel a recently written book can be exceedingly helpful as it speaks to the age in which we live and acknowledge the realities in which we daily walk. I could go on and on, but at the end of the day, would heartily recommend this book to any man. (my female friends - I dare say you could also read this book and be encouraged! at least I dearly hope so!)
The author writes with superb tact and skill, coming from a Christian worldview and going often to the well of the Bible. Yet the author is very self-aware and understanding of the world and culture (specifically Western evangelicalism) in which many Christians find themselves living. He writes with compassion and yet surprising firmness when necessary. He seeks to understand women's perspectives and fears - something that is sometimes sadly lacking in Christian books. I found myself enjoying yet also being convicted by the way the author talks about specific Christian masculinity and what it means to be a man according to the Bible. He is not overly dogmatic or pushing of certain cultural norms. Instead, he acknowledges that masculinity may (and will!) look different in different contexts and that we as Christians need to be very careful to not forbid something the Bible has not forbid, neither mandate something that the Bible has not mandated. This is a book written in times where many would dare say there is no substantive difference between manhood and womanhood, yet the author clearly and boldly proclaims that there is a real and meaningful difference between the two. I appreciate the author's reliance on Scripture, care to understand the current times in which we live, and winsome and frank dialogue. I also appreciated his British humor - it very much helped leaven the work with occasional levity! I think I also appreciated reading an author who is not in the American evangelical sphere (nothing necessarily wrong with that, but good to read other perspectives). Also, with much relief I can report that this book doesn't just talk about the man/woman relationship. The author speaks of the relationships a man will have in his family, in the church and in the world at large, acknowledging that there is much more to being a man than simply being married or having a child. It discusses the importance and necessity of solid friendships and of mentoring relationships.
One more point? Some books are timeless and you can read them in any year and they will be fruitful. This book (published in 2023) talks about recent events and the ethos of the western age and I am grateful for it, as much as I usually prefer reading old books. The topic of masculinity is one such that I feel a recently written book can be exceedingly helpful as it speaks to the age in which we live and acknowledge the realities in which we daily walk. I could go on and on, but at the end of the day, would heartily recommend this book to any man. (my female friends - I dare say you could also read this book and be encouraged! at least I dearly hope so!)
June 5, 2025
This is a helpful and edifying little book, and is ideal for a small group study.
Fuller structures the book around seven biblical principles that touch on different aspects of masculinity. These are that a godly man:
- Recognises that men and women are different but doesn't exaggerate this.
- Takes responsibility to provide sacrificial leadership in a fashion appropriate to the roles and relationships that he is in.
- Is ambitious for the kingdom of God.
- Uses his strength to fight to protect God's church.
- Shows thoughtful chivalry by offering his strength to serve others.
- Invests in his friendships.
- Seeks to raise spiritually healthy "sons".
He boils these down to a single sentence that is as good a definition of what it means to be a Godly man as anything I’ve read:
“Being a godly man means taking responsibility to lead, being ambitious for God's kingdom, using your strength to protect the church and serve others, investing in friends, and raising ‘sons’".
Fuller structures the book around seven biblical principles that touch on different aspects of masculinity. These are that a godly man:
- Recognises that men and women are different but doesn't exaggerate this.
- Takes responsibility to provide sacrificial leadership in a fashion appropriate to the roles and relationships that he is in.
- Is ambitious for the kingdom of God.
- Uses his strength to fight to protect God's church.
- Shows thoughtful chivalry by offering his strength to serve others.
- Invests in his friendships.
- Seeks to raise spiritually healthy "sons".
He boils these down to a single sentence that is as good a definition of what it means to be a Godly man as anything I’ve read:
“Being a godly man means taking responsibility to lead, being ambitious for God's kingdom, using your strength to protect the church and serve others, investing in friends, and raising ‘sons’".
August 8, 2024
Reclaiming Masculinity is a short book about a few things: men and women are made different by God and these differences are good, masculinity is a good thing when exercised correctly and is not “toxic”, husbands and wives play different roles such as men leading in marriage, and advice for christian men including friendships, raising children and seeking God. I think it succeeded in most of these areas and not in others.
The 7 principles:
1. Men and women really are different (but don’t exaggerate)
Fuller demonstrates this well, physically and psychologically. He also gives examples of people how ignore this or take it the wrong way.
2. Take Responsibility
Some young men feel directionless and lack this, taking responsibility over your life is important. (Obviously not just for men).
3. Be Ambitious for God
He encourages men to be productive and not idle, and we should spend our time serving people, and with eternity in mind. Ambition is good but be thoughtful about what ambitions you have.
4. Use your Strength to Protect
Men using their strength in violent ways is twisting the good thing, which is strength. Men should instead use their strength to serve and protect women. (Again, entirely true for women)
5. Display thoughtful Chivalry
Bit of advice for dating, pursuing marriage, pornography being bad. Chivalry is “using strength to serve”.
6. Invest in Friendships
“hardship + friendship = maturity, hardship + loneliness + destructive sin”. Good advice for male friendship, especially as often the advice we hear is tailored towards women.
7. Raise Healthy Sons
My problems:
1. Description VS Prescription
The problem I found was Fuller blurred the line between description (i.e men are typically less emotionally expressive than women), and prescription (i.e men **should** display their emotions less than women). There is a huge difference between: “women are typically more emotionally expressive than men, and this isn’t necessarily bad as stoicism can be a useful characteristic at times”, and “men ought to hide their emotions as stoicism is a useful characteristic”. As Hume put it, “you cannot derive an ought from an is”. I’m all for the first statement, but not the second. One can still hold that God made men and women different, for example less or more emotionally expressive as men and women’s features compliment each other etc., while not reaching the conclusion that men **should** withhold emotion or women **should** be emotional. Fuller doesn’t outright say this, but hints at it. He isn’t always very clear either: “*Is there anything distinctive about being a son rather than a daughter? A brother rather than a sister? A man rather than a woman? Paul thinks that there is.*”. Paul doesn’t say that brothers ought to act one way and sisters ought to act another. He says “treat younger men as brothers, younger women as sisters”. This is just “treat people with the respect of a sibling” but split into genders. And if brothers and sisters ought to act differently, Fuller never explains how. Again, it’s reasonable to say the relationship “brother” and the relationship “sister” may typically take different forms but there’s no moral judgement here, only observation.
Statements like “godly men should take responsibility, protect women, ensure their family are part of a church, be ambitious for God” are all great. While this is maybe more true for men, godly women should also do all these things. Perhaps I’m just being pedantic.
1. Adhering to stereotypes
Fuller also seems to imply that as Christians we should adhere to the cultural gender stereotypes, but he never really explains why. A worldview that includes “it is immoral for men to wear dresses in 2024AD Britain but a moral obligation in 100AD Egypt” is a pretty weird one which needs a lot of explanation. He does add that “we can’t be too prescriptive”, but being prescriptive in what people should wear seems odd at all.
1. Lack of explanation - marriage.
Fuller writes about passages in Ephesians and Corinthians about marriage, but I honestly couldn’t get his point. He said that husbands should lead in marriage, and wives should submit to their husbands leadership. He made it clear this doesn’t mean men are more important, or that a husband’s role is more important than a wife’s role, or that men have the final say, or being married makes you better than not being married, or men should earn more, or that men’s vocations are more important. So what does it actually mean? What advice is true for men and not true for women? Fuller writes “it is manly to know your Bible well”, “it is manly to ensure you family is nourished by being committed to a church”, “it is manly to take responsibility”. All of these are true, but all apply to women. It seemed all his advice for being a good husband was just being a good spouse. And again, he gave some examples are men being more outward-facing and women more nurturing-focus. Great, but that’s still just an observation not a prescription of how to act.
Overall a pretty good book but with some parts that were frustrating. Give it a read.
The 7 principles:
1. Men and women really are different (but don’t exaggerate)
Fuller demonstrates this well, physically and psychologically. He also gives examples of people how ignore this or take it the wrong way.
2. Take Responsibility
Some young men feel directionless and lack this, taking responsibility over your life is important. (Obviously not just for men).
3. Be Ambitious for God
He encourages men to be productive and not idle, and we should spend our time serving people, and with eternity in mind. Ambition is good but be thoughtful about what ambitions you have.
4. Use your Strength to Protect
Men using their strength in violent ways is twisting the good thing, which is strength. Men should instead use their strength to serve and protect women. (Again, entirely true for women)
5. Display thoughtful Chivalry
Bit of advice for dating, pursuing marriage, pornography being bad. Chivalry is “using strength to serve”.
6. Invest in Friendships
“hardship + friendship = maturity, hardship + loneliness + destructive sin”. Good advice for male friendship, especially as often the advice we hear is tailored towards women.
7. Raise Healthy Sons
My problems:
1. Description VS Prescription
The problem I found was Fuller blurred the line between description (i.e men are typically less emotionally expressive than women), and prescription (i.e men **should** display their emotions less than women). There is a huge difference between: “women are typically more emotionally expressive than men, and this isn’t necessarily bad as stoicism can be a useful characteristic at times”, and “men ought to hide their emotions as stoicism is a useful characteristic”. As Hume put it, “you cannot derive an ought from an is”. I’m all for the first statement, but not the second. One can still hold that God made men and women different, for example less or more emotionally expressive as men and women’s features compliment each other etc., while not reaching the conclusion that men **should** withhold emotion or women **should** be emotional. Fuller doesn’t outright say this, but hints at it. He isn’t always very clear either: “*Is there anything distinctive about being a son rather than a daughter? A brother rather than a sister? A man rather than a woman? Paul thinks that there is.*”. Paul doesn’t say that brothers ought to act one way and sisters ought to act another. He says “treat younger men as brothers, younger women as sisters”. This is just “treat people with the respect of a sibling” but split into genders. And if brothers and sisters ought to act differently, Fuller never explains how. Again, it’s reasonable to say the relationship “brother” and the relationship “sister” may typically take different forms but there’s no moral judgement here, only observation.
Statements like “godly men should take responsibility, protect women, ensure their family are part of a church, be ambitious for God” are all great. While this is maybe more true for men, godly women should also do all these things. Perhaps I’m just being pedantic.
1. Adhering to stereotypes
Fuller also seems to imply that as Christians we should adhere to the cultural gender stereotypes, but he never really explains why. A worldview that includes “it is immoral for men to wear dresses in 2024AD Britain but a moral obligation in 100AD Egypt” is a pretty weird one which needs a lot of explanation. He does add that “we can’t be too prescriptive”, but being prescriptive in what people should wear seems odd at all.
1. Lack of explanation - marriage.
Fuller writes about passages in Ephesians and Corinthians about marriage, but I honestly couldn’t get his point. He said that husbands should lead in marriage, and wives should submit to their husbands leadership. He made it clear this doesn’t mean men are more important, or that a husband’s role is more important than a wife’s role, or that men have the final say, or being married makes you better than not being married, or men should earn more, or that men’s vocations are more important. So what does it actually mean? What advice is true for men and not true for women? Fuller writes “it is manly to know your Bible well”, “it is manly to ensure you family is nourished by being committed to a church”, “it is manly to take responsibility”. All of these are true, but all apply to women. It seemed all his advice for being a good husband was just being a good spouse. And again, he gave some examples are men being more outward-facing and women more nurturing-focus. Great, but that’s still just an observation not a prescription of how to act.
Overall a pretty good book but with some parts that were frustrating. Give it a read.
September 6, 2023
This thoughtful, nuanced guide to a contentious topic will appeal to Christian men and some women who want to rethink masculinity in light of cultural controversy. This book is pretty basic, but it covers a lot of important topics about what it means to be a godly man, and Matt Fuller shares helpful insights without being overly prescriptive or getting into the weeds of highly specific debates. Fuller explores some passages and general themes from Scripture alongside current social discourse, highlighting timeless principles about what it means to be a man while also delving into contemporary issues.
I particularly appreciated his nuanced take on the fear and anxiety some women feel about men. Fuller acknowledges that it's very difficult when someone thinks less of you because you're a man, treating you as if you're guilty until proven innocent, but he also validates why many women are so suspicious of men, encouraging his readers to have compassion for the kinds of bad experiences shaping such negative views. This is just one of many examples of how he handles contentious topics with care, validating women's trauma without shutting down and belittling men in the way I've seen it done again and again.
Fuller writes about some of the challenges that men face when trying to define and understand masculinity, and throughout this book, he focuses on core principles from the Bible that apply regardless of a man's time period, cultural background, or life stage. He gives examples of generational differences that can create conflict between older and younger men, and he emphasizes how important it is to focus on godly character traits above and beyond specific cultural practices. Fuller writes with nuance, vulnerability, and understanding, and the book feels like an honest exploration of things he's walked through himself. I also appreciated his British humor, and his care to keep saying "in general" instead of making sweeping statements.
This book will mainly appeal to social and theological conservatives, but it's less preachy and less restrictive than some similar books I've encountered, providing lots of room for different practical expressions of core beliefs. I particularly appreciated Fuller's attention to single guys, and when he writes about marriage and fatherhood, it is never with the assumption that these relationships are integral to being a true man. He includes practical applications for men in different stages of life, and although some chapters apply to both men and women, others are specific to being a man in the world. I frequently read books written for men and relate to them deeply, and it was honestly kind of refreshing that so much of this didn't apply to me, since that meant the author was going beyond personality traits and life experiences.
Reclaiming Masculinity will be an encouraging read for many Christian men who want to better understand and articulate a vision of what it means to be a man, without relying on outdated stereotypes or tearing down masculinity. Because of Fuller's attention to generational differences between men, this could be a particularly useful book for dads and sons to read together, and for men in different life stages to read as a group. Even though this book is fairly basic, the author's nuance and varied practical examples will make this a great discussion-starter that lots of men can relate to, regardless of their life stage or different points of disagreement.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I particularly appreciated his nuanced take on the fear and anxiety some women feel about men. Fuller acknowledges that it's very difficult when someone thinks less of you because you're a man, treating you as if you're guilty until proven innocent, but he also validates why many women are so suspicious of men, encouraging his readers to have compassion for the kinds of bad experiences shaping such negative views. This is just one of many examples of how he handles contentious topics with care, validating women's trauma without shutting down and belittling men in the way I've seen it done again and again.
Fuller writes about some of the challenges that men face when trying to define and understand masculinity, and throughout this book, he focuses on core principles from the Bible that apply regardless of a man's time period, cultural background, or life stage. He gives examples of generational differences that can create conflict between older and younger men, and he emphasizes how important it is to focus on godly character traits above and beyond specific cultural practices. Fuller writes with nuance, vulnerability, and understanding, and the book feels like an honest exploration of things he's walked through himself. I also appreciated his British humor, and his care to keep saying "in general" instead of making sweeping statements.
This book will mainly appeal to social and theological conservatives, but it's less preachy and less restrictive than some similar books I've encountered, providing lots of room for different practical expressions of core beliefs. I particularly appreciated Fuller's attention to single guys, and when he writes about marriage and fatherhood, it is never with the assumption that these relationships are integral to being a true man. He includes practical applications for men in different stages of life, and although some chapters apply to both men and women, others are specific to being a man in the world. I frequently read books written for men and relate to them deeply, and it was honestly kind of refreshing that so much of this didn't apply to me, since that meant the author was going beyond personality traits and life experiences.
Reclaiming Masculinity will be an encouraging read for many Christian men who want to better understand and articulate a vision of what it means to be a man, without relying on outdated stereotypes or tearing down masculinity. Because of Fuller's attention to generational differences between men, this could be a particularly useful book for dads and sons to read together, and for men in different life stages to read as a group. Even though this book is fairly basic, the author's nuance and varied practical examples will make this a great discussion-starter that lots of men can relate to, regardless of their life stage or different points of disagreement.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
August 12, 2025
I really wanted to like this book (which I didn't), and I also really wanted to give this book a 1 star rating (which I reserve for terrible books). But I can't do either of those.
TL;DR Version:
Maybe this would be a good first book if you are just emerging from the political Left and have been lied to about gender your entire life. Otherwise, this book is a waste of time.
The Long Version:
I think the saddest thing about this book is that, if I didn't know the Bible that well, I would be convinced that the Bible says very little about masculinity. The author was really scraping the bottom of the barrel for traits of masculinity ("Friendship"? Really? That quality makes the short list of 7 traits of masculinity?). I can't complain too much though; it's hard since most of the Bible teaches moral living, not the difference between masculinity and femininity.
To be fair, Matt Fuller does, on rare occasion, make some good points. There is a lot in this book about how men should act. I hesitate to say that these traits have anything to do with masculinity. But the concepts (like "Ambition") have a good (though, perhaps not succinct) point and will generate positive reflection.
Unfortunately, Matt does not use the best passages to illustrate his position or good exegesis to support his conclusions (for example, in his first chapter on men and women being different, he completely ignored the obvious verse Genesis 1:27 and looked at a bunch of random verses instead). Maybe that shows the bigger issue with the text; it relies on the Bible for traits about masculinity, and there really isn't a whole lot the Bible says explicitly about masculinity.
If I had written this book, I probably would have taken one of two approaches:
1) Compile a list of all biblical instructions to men verses the instructions given to women. The same instructions would not be considered since they are for generic Christian living. The unique commands to each are masculine and feminine traits.
2) Take a poll of individuals on their definition of masculinity (powerful, humble, meek, honorable, etc.) and do a Bible study on the validity and meaning of each of them.
Either of these ways would have been a better approach to Matt's selecting 7 "traits" at random.
TL;DR Version:
Maybe this would be a good first book if you are just emerging from the political Left and have been lied to about gender your entire life. Otherwise, this book is a waste of time.
The Long Version:
I think the saddest thing about this book is that, if I didn't know the Bible that well, I would be convinced that the Bible says very little about masculinity. The author was really scraping the bottom of the barrel for traits of masculinity ("Friendship"? Really? That quality makes the short list of 7 traits of masculinity?). I can't complain too much though; it's hard since most of the Bible teaches moral living, not the difference between masculinity and femininity.
To be fair, Matt Fuller does, on rare occasion, make some good points. There is a lot in this book about how men should act. I hesitate to say that these traits have anything to do with masculinity. But the concepts (like "Ambition") have a good (though, perhaps not succinct) point and will generate positive reflection.
Unfortunately, Matt does not use the best passages to illustrate his position or good exegesis to support his conclusions (for example, in his first chapter on men and women being different, he completely ignored the obvious verse Genesis 1:27 and looked at a bunch of random verses instead). Maybe that shows the bigger issue with the text; it relies on the Bible for traits about masculinity, and there really isn't a whole lot the Bible says explicitly about masculinity.
If I had written this book, I probably would have taken one of two approaches:
1) Compile a list of all biblical instructions to men verses the instructions given to women. The same instructions would not be considered since they are for generic Christian living. The unique commands to each are masculine and feminine traits.
2) Take a poll of individuals on their definition of masculinity (powerful, humble, meek, honorable, etc.) and do a Bible study on the validity and meaning of each of them.
Either of these ways would have been a better approach to Matt's selecting 7 "traits" at random.
September 15, 2023
This is a book where reading the introduction is key. Fuller prefaces all his principles with a very clear delineation of what he is (and is not) saying. He recognizes and laments the ways that masculinity has been often abused and damaging in the past, and empathizes with the current cultural moment’s response to those problems, and also recognizes that identity expressions can change in different eras - referencing how the Romans felt pants were too feminine, and preferred tunics.
Still, while being fair to these modern perspectives, Fuller points out that many of our current goals are defined by negatives - what NOT to do as a man. With a simple analysis of a few key passages, Fuller effectively attacks the three main (incorrect) approaches that are currently prominent. The book sets out to provide positive definitions to strive for.
Something I appreciated - and, from conversations I had while reading it, I suspect many female and male readers alike will appreciate in my stage of life - is that the book is not predicated purely on Biblical passages about the husband-wife relationship. Instead, the principles are drawn mostly from passages speaking to how we relate to mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters and brothers.
TLDR. I recommend to anyone even if only for a fresh perspective, but especially to young men who have grown up confused by mixed messaging about manhood. Offers clear biblical principles without being overly prescriptive for our individual expressions.
Still, while being fair to these modern perspectives, Fuller points out that many of our current goals are defined by negatives - what NOT to do as a man. With a simple analysis of a few key passages, Fuller effectively attacks the three main (incorrect) approaches that are currently prominent. The book sets out to provide positive definitions to strive for.
Something I appreciated - and, from conversations I had while reading it, I suspect many female and male readers alike will appreciate in my stage of life - is that the book is not predicated purely on Biblical passages about the husband-wife relationship. Instead, the principles are drawn mostly from passages speaking to how we relate to mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters and brothers.
TLDR. I recommend to anyone even if only for a fresh perspective, but especially to young men who have grown up confused by mixed messaging about manhood. Offers clear biblical principles without being overly prescriptive for our individual expressions.
July 21, 2023
First, to clear up some confusion: despite Goodread's title, this book has seven principles, not eight. Readers are still waiting for Goodreads to supply that bonus eighth principle (though this reader doesn't have high hopes...)
But the seven principles in the book, and the overall project, were quite good! Fuller structures his book around seven ways to finish the sentence, "A godly man is..." Each of the seven principles makes a distinct contribution to the book's picture of masculinity, and #3 and #4 ("uses strength to protect God's church" and "practices thoughtful chivalry") were especially well done.
The weakness of a "X number of principles..." approach is that it lack comprehensiveness. Goodreads jokes aside, what makes seven the right number instead of six or eight? (I know: seven is the number of perfection. But really...) That said, I didn't think there were any major items left out of Fuller's treatment. But there's more work to be done on #1 ("recognize there are differences between men and woman, without exaggerating them") since that's so hotly contested. If a reader accepts that principle as true (which I do), then the rest of the book will likely be helpful. If not, the reader probably won't make it to #7, or even #8...
But the seven principles in the book, and the overall project, were quite good! Fuller structures his book around seven ways to finish the sentence, "A godly man is..." Each of the seven principles makes a distinct contribution to the book's picture of masculinity, and #3 and #4 ("uses strength to protect God's church" and "practices thoughtful chivalry") were especially well done.
The weakness of a "X number of principles..." approach is that it lack comprehensiveness. Goodreads jokes aside, what makes seven the right number instead of six or eight? (I know: seven is the number of perfection. But really...) That said, I didn't think there were any major items left out of Fuller's treatment. But there's more work to be done on #1 ("recognize there are differences between men and woman, without exaggerating them") since that's so hotly contested. If a reader accepts that principle as true (which I do), then the rest of the book will likely be helpful. If not, the reader probably won't make it to #7, or even #8...
May 23, 2024
I read this because I was curious what positive masculinity could look like in the world today, according to the Bible. I commend Matt for tackling this tricky subject and wanting to provide a positive roadmap for men in a time when we have seen the harmful effects of "toxic" masculinity on women, and when much of the discourse around this subject seems to be either anti-men or anti-women. I knew I wouldn't agree theologically with everything in this book - and I didn't - but I thought he did a very good job. I particularly appreciated the chapters on friendship and the protection of women, which was handled extremely well.
November 6, 2023
In a culture where we rightly encourage and empower women, it feels that to be a man is either toxic, abusive, or pathetic. Or all three.
Yet the Bible has lots to say about what healthy masculinity is for the good of society, and the good of those around us. This book doesn’t prescribe what manliness is but gives biblical principles for masculinity to help men be clear and confident about what God calls them to as men. Love it.
I can see it being a big help in churches all over as men draw alongside men as iron sharpens iron.
Yet the Bible has lots to say about what healthy masculinity is for the good of society, and the good of those around us. This book doesn’t prescribe what manliness is but gives biblical principles for masculinity to help men be clear and confident about what God calls them to as men. Love it.
I can see it being a big help in churches all over as men draw alongside men as iron sharpens iron.
October 10, 2024
Great book that brought me back down to the foundations of what a Godly man is all about. Going through different aspects of a man’s life and how to deal with it as a Christian has helped me to reflect on how I’ve been living as a Godly man, how I can do better at that and how I can be a better Godly man in the future. Will most likely come back to this book in the future as there are areas talked about that I haven’t reached in life like marriage and fatherhood, but was still good to read how to navigate through those areas.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 28, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. What I was caught off guard was the way he kept things detailed but also did not exaggerate scripture and simply put scripture out and allowed the reader to make the determination. It was very well done and brought out some great points to challenge us with as well as approaching things from a very biblical way. I was both challenged myself as a pastor as well as encouraged to be a godly man even in the face of the craziness in our culture.
February 29, 2024
My favorite book on Christian masculinity. Didn’t have high expectations because most books on biblical masculinity are usually unbalanced: either too theoretical or prescriptive, and then given to machismo or flattens the distinction between me and women. I don’t agree with very jot, but this gets the closest on the topic to me.
February 9, 2024
The seven biblical principles are outlined well in this book. Matt Fuller avoids being too prescriptive but provides enough examples that it is a helpful starting point for thought and even better for discussion with others.
March 16, 2024
A very good read to help someone that is either coming of age or just needs a refresher! I really enjoyed this book and I think the author hit several key points in explaining why we need masculinity in this world!
September 14, 2023
Legend. Thanks mate!
November 24, 2023
This is a good book for men, but not the best on the market - have read better, but it was a good reminder of some masculine principles.
November 11, 2025
Understanding it's lane is crucial to benefitting from this - it's 160 pages so it's not too deep but sets very very helpful foundations. Ideal for the average Joe and has been super helpful for me.
February 2, 2024
It is a very solid book outlining very relevant Biblical principles.
It is not particularly comprehensive but provides a strong baseline for thought and discussion. There are clear points, well-structured arguments and most importantly it is rooted in Biblical verses. I like the illustrations Fuller uses and it does have a very personal tone. Overall a good and important read.
It is not particularly comprehensive but provides a strong baseline for thought and discussion. There are clear points, well-structured arguments and most importantly it is rooted in Biblical verses. I like the illustrations Fuller uses and it does have a very personal tone. Overall a good and important read.
May 26, 2025
Excellent, accessible, and refreshing. Men’s books are sometimes high on bravado at the expense of Bible. This book’s focus on virtue leads to biblically-faithful conclusions without the chest-thumping.
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