How to Accidentally Settle Down [With Your High School Boyfriend]

by Katherine Ryan

From acclaimed stand-up comic Katherine Ryan comes a short, funny, and unpredictable true story about love, perseverance, and that one boy she was sure she’d left behind.

Katherine Ryan’s on-again, off-again high school romance with a genuinely decent boy named Bobby ended in lots of adolescent melodrama and angsty wallowing, fueled by Cool Ranch Doritos. Years later, Katherine is a successful comic in the UK, embracing single motherhood with her precocious daughter, Violet, and is happily resigned to a future without romance. She tells her audience as much. Until her job sends Katherine on a quick trip to her Canadian hometown. After a surprising reconnection with Bobby, Katherine realizes that everything she thought she’d moved on from might not be that far gone at all.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Audiobook, Short Stories, Comedy, Biography Memoir

41 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 26, 2023

Reviews

[Phrynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this as an Amazon Original Story and was not aware until I started to read it that it was a part memoir of the author's life. Now I am not particularly keen on Memoirs but this one turned out well.

The author is a well known comedian so I expected some funny passages, and they were indeed there but maybe not as many as I had hoped for. The topic was how she met her high school boyfriend later in life and ended up married, so there were serious issues to be discussed as well. Ryan managed this the way comedians do onstage - with exaggerated truths and no allowances for embarrassment on the part of the person being discussed!

Altogether the story ended up being entertaining and a pleasant way to spend an hour.

My thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[Krista · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m absolutely certain that I’m now the most boring and ordinary that I’ve ever been. I’m very relaxed and surprisingly well mannered. I go to bed early, I avoid red meat and gluten, I get excited about trips to Costco. My slide to all this mundanity started in January 2019, when I tried to have a one-night stand with my high school boyfriend and accidentally married him instead.

I’ve been aware of Katherine Ryan for several years now (particularly from her appearances on British talk and game shows), and having always enjoyed her storytelling, I thought that How to Accidentally Settle Down would be a short and sweet palate cleanser between more serious fare. And it is that: not quite 50 pages, Ryan briefly summarises her romantic life — from first love, Bobby, to more adult relationships (including a long stretch with a man she calls “Then Boyfriend” [TB]; the father of her first child, Violet), and finally a reconnection with Bobby twenty years later — and while Ryan describes everything with a sardonic, comedic touch, the stories tend to somehow have both too much and not enough detail. Ultimately: I don’t know if this needed to be written, but it was an entertaining enough reading experience; still interested in reading Ryan’s longer work. (Note: I read an ARC through NetGalley and passages quoted may not be in their final forms.)

After my daughter, Violet, was born and her arrival didn’t miraculously transform a grown man, I joked that we’d wanted a “save the relationship” baby, but we’d ended up with a regular one instead. No one in my family or friendship group had ever been a massive fan of TB, but I stand by his good qualities now like I did then. He’s not a terrible person, just a bit of a dreamer, and we were wrong for each other. My daughter, I believe, just really wanted to be born. Souls can do that, you know. They — from, I dunno, space or wherever — can match you up with a random person, drag you from Canada to the UK, strike you down with lupus, and keep you in an unsuitable relationship just so that they can exist on Earth. It’s all part of their journey, and I would never resent Violet for what she had to do to get here. If anything, I respect the hustle.

After describing her experiences with a few men that didn’t work out (nicknamed the Overlap, the Sketch Actor, the Comedy Producer [I basically have the same criteria as a giant panda for new relationships, in that if you put me in close enough proximity of a potential mate with adequate resources for long enough, we’ll eventually give breeding a go]), Ryan decided to concentrate on her career and single motherhood. I watched a video clip after reading this of Ryan being interviewed around the time the she had reconnected with Bobby and she describes how hard it was to introduce a man into the feminine, girl power space she and her daughter had forged for themselves, and I get that that must have been hard: you embrace this alternative model of, “We don’t need a man in the house to be a family,” and then you go and introduce a man into the house. Ryan doesn’t really go into this in the book (other than describing how ten-year-old Violet objected when the Danish commitment ceremony they participated in looked too much like a wedding), but as Katherine and Bobby have two more kids together now, it looks like a happy ending; and everyone deserves that.

The days are long, but the years are short, and it’s on our minds that every minute we spend caring for our family is an investment in the beautiful future we are hopeful for, when all the kids are old enough to be our friends. Having a family with my high school boyfriend, just as my hormonal teenage brain predicted, is the type of basic shit that I’ve come to live for.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and Amazon Original Stories for access to this title

I truly enjoyed Katherine Ryan's Netflix series " The Duchess" and so when I saw this title, it was an immediate grab. I thought that it was a good memoir type novella of Ryan's guide through romance and motherhood and finally finding happiness with a high school boyfriend. I am not sure if I was supposed to find any of her anecdotes funny. But I did find her voice compelling and her story engaging. If you're looking for a short story to top off that TBR, check this one out.


Expected Publication Date 26/12/23
Goodreads Review 12/12/23


#HowtoAccidentallySettleDown #NetGalley.

[Kaye · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you know who Katherine Ryan is from her tv appearances or stand up comedy routines this short autobiography will be of interest. This is not a comedy routine but instead a thoughtful and humorous telling of her personal life starting in high school. It goes through her relationships, moving to England, giving birth to her daughter, before she finally reconnects with a high school boyfriend Bobby whom she marries. At 40 pages this is a quick read and while there are several mentions of her career that isn’t the focus of this memoir. Thank you to Amazon Original Stories for the copy of this story via NetGalley.

[Andrea Pole · Rating 3 out of 5]

How to Accidentally Settle Down by Katherine Ryan is a novella that details the romantic history of the stand-up comic. While I am not familiar with Ms Ryan's work, I did find this brief telling of her reconnection with her high school boyfriend to be fresh and unfiltered, though I was expecting a few laugh out loud moments, and was sadly left wanting. Overall, though, this is a quick and witty read if you are looking for something a little different from your usual fare. 3.5 stars

Many thanks to NetGalley and Amazon Original Stories for an ARC.

[Rachel Sullivan]

No rating because memoir, but this had me laughing out loud. Shoutout to my high school boyfriend I'm still dating hehe

[Grace Oliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty and fun! Listening to Ryan’s life and her comedic spin on it was lighthearted and a good reminder that everything will work out the way it needs to.

[Justin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was charming! I started it thinking it would be a sure 3-star story, but it actually got better as it went on (that almost never happens with short stories). It was silly, introspective yet light, and fun. I enjoyed it.

[Victoria Lewis · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars // I think Katherine Ryan is super funny and this did still have some of her voice but I think I expected it to have a bit more comedic stories. However it really just felt like an expanded Wikipedia article with some personal anecdotes. Just a long winded story of how she ended up with her high school boyfriend by dating jerks. It was okay - and it was super short, so that’s good - but I think you can skip if you’re wanting something specifically funny. Read if you want to know more about Katherine Ryan’s love life.

Thanks to NetGalley for an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review

[Ashley Polo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny Read

This was a funny, quick read. Katherine Ryan is really funny and this book displayed that really well. It felt a little weird that her life with Bobby (the high school boyfriend) was only 10 pages but I guess that’s what you get with a 40 page book.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you #Netgalley for the advanced copy!

These short stories are a funny quick read leading up to where Katherine is right now, romantically that is. The series of essays begin with her high school journey dating experiences both good and bad. We then follow Katherine as she ends up moving oversees with a guy who she knew she had no future with, but ended up going and staying there. Eventually she has a baby that of course does not save the relationship but instead creates an amazing bond between her and her daughter. But when she goes back home to Canada for a quick trip she meets up with her high school boyfriend....and you can guess what happens next ;)

[Chera · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm a bit disappointed by this novella and I'm not sure if I'm to blame or it is. The book is tagged as a biography/memoir, and it's certainly a recap of Ryan's relationships from high school on. If you are familiar with her specials, you'll recognize at least some of that here.

Like Ryan's work, there's also a good message about the struggles of being a woman and a woman in comedy, as well as the constant struggle to figure out if doing it all on your own is the best option.

At the end of the day, however, there's not a whole lot of humor here. Maybe it isn't intended to be humorous, but a short story by a skilled comedienne without any feels strange.

[Louise Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very brief account of the author’s love life from high school to today, this book is peppered with funny references (eg: things she learned from the documentary, Forrest Gump) but is pretty unremarkable. It’s too brief to really make you feel invested and the narrow focus on her romantic entanglements is limiting.

[Thérèse Castillo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was in desperate need of a short read, and I'm really glad I found this one! If you hate Lorelai Gilmore, you'll probably be frustrated with how many horrible love interests there are. But if you love Lorelai Gilmore, you'll love her endearing relationship with her daughter and stubborn attitude that makes her a fierce lover. I wish it was longer!

[Ally Greene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for this ARC!

3 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is a short but sweet read about how Katherine and Bobby rekindled a high school fling many years later. I would have loved for this book to be longer to go into more detail. I loved hearing her story about possibly IUI to have a second baby without a partner. This book is a quick read with some ups and downs of love and breakup.

[Morgan Rohbock · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐

Having learned some of Katherine's life through her comedy specials and finding it interesting, I loved having her history written in one chronological story but found it to be more a quick summary of her life and lacking many comedic witty antidotes I expect from such a brilliant comedian.

[Dani Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

I tottaallllyyy didn’t realize this was a memoir/autobio/short story but now that it’s over, I want more! Katherine Ryan’s writing style is fun, and light hearted with a bit of crudeness but not overwhelmingly so.
I’d love to read more by her!

[Isa aka the "anintrovertrambles" · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a short but hilarious story from one of my all time favourites and this was truly a good time. Really enjoyed the book and how she narrated her maniacal relationships eloquently. Thank you netgalley for this ARC and thanks Kath for the story

[Alexsandra Smith]

“Having a family with my high school boyfriend, just as my hormonal teenage brain predicted, is the type of basic shit that I’ve come to live for.”

Period !

[Jordan Dailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’d follow Katherine Ryan anywhere

[Kelly Pramberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first time I am reading Ryan and I like her style a bunch. It's fast-paced and authentic. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. I will have to check into her other book. Five stars!

[abireadsalot · Rating 4 out of 5]

The way this was actually entertaining as I was getting ready this morning

[Tina Tormey (BucksCountyBookNerd)]

Funny and fast-paced reporting of one woman's experience navigating relationships as a comic and mom to a young child. I found myself smiling and chuckling out loud, but really missed the aspect of a story arc and seeing the internal character development as she navigated relationships with some crappy dudes and discovering herself.

[Felicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️

💭Should I reach out to my high school ex boyfriend?

I found myself wanting to dig deeper into the various stories she told, and was left a bit disappointed when one story would end and another would begin. Overall, worth a read if you’re looking for something quick and easy to dive into.

[Jeanette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks kindly to NetGalley and Amazon Original Stories for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A surprisingly short but incredibly enjoyable read from Katherine Ryan, featuring her unique blend of raw honesty and wit. This is more short story length than anything else, and I thought it was an extract before I quickly checked that I indeed had a full copy. This had been tagged under Biographies & Memoirs in addition to Novellas & Short Stories.

I’m very familiar with her work in comedy, and read this story in her voice. Those not as well acquainted may expect more outright jokes, but her brand of sarcasm shines through and is plenty humorous for me.

I love how tightly written this was, and how many rich, throwaway lines there were that showcased how full a life she has lived, and how much more she has to share. She also seems to take genuine accountability for mistakes or decisions that could’ve been better made, and meaningfully contextualises them in that time of her life.

A thoroughly enjoyable read that leaves me hoping for a much longer and fulsome memoir from Ryan soon.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an ARC

Katherine's wittiness, sense of humour and love for her family all shine through as she recounts a brief history of her love life and how she finally managed to settle down with her high school boyfriend

While this was a very enjoyable quick read (It probably took me just over an hour to finishing reading - and I'm a slow reader!) It feels like this book is just a brief sketch of the author's life, rather than her opening up to the reader. Nevertheless, it's interesting to see her emotional journey change from "I don’t want to be alone -> I don't need a man to in my life -> I've found the right guy

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
As someone whose husband was meant to be a one night stand and who had Taco Bell for dinner last night, I feel perfectly equipped to review this book. While the early stories made me laugh and the culmination of her memoir was quite obvious (I mean, it’s in the title of course), and he end of it all felt rushed. I’d have enjoyed more after she met Bobby again.

[Amy Grossman · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick 3 1/2 stars read. It felt repetitive and it just didn’t do it for me.

[A Hopeless Romantic's Booklandia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did not think I would be reading a Katherine Ryan book today, though ironically I was just thinking about her recently because I’m a fan of her comedy and I was wondering if she had another special out that I haven’t seen yet or if she was going to have one coming out in 2024. Anyway, I opened up Instagram today and I was scrolling through it when I was recommended a post from Amazon about Katherine Ryan’s new book, How to Accidentally Settle Down: (With Your High School Boyfriend)! I was immediately excited, I wondered if it was fictional or her story, saw that it was the latter, and I just wanted to read it right away! I looked it up, saw that it was a “Read and Listen for Free” on KU and I downloaded it then and there.

Now, I’m not someone who usually listens to audiobooks, not because I’m one of those weirdos who thinks that it’s not a valid form of reading, I just don’t think I’d be able to actually concentrate on the story and really take it in. That thought mostly comes from the fact that I listened to two or three audiobooks when I was a teen and one of them, I remember some of and the other I literally just remember like a house and maybe some trees and snow which is literally the cover, so I basically remember nothing about it. I know I shouldn’t judge audiobooks based on that and I have started an audiobook or two since then, but I just don’t get that far in before I call it quits. I feel like I do also worry a little bit that I won’t connect to the story the way I would if I was reading either a physical copy or an ebook, though it is mostly due to a lack of focus.

Okay, I rambled on about all that because I wanted to try listening to this book instead of doing it the way I always do since I figured/saw that Katherine Ryan would be reading it herself. It took me awhile before I could actually start listening to the audiobook because I never add on the audiobooks whether they’re available in KU or just buying them outright and it was a whole ordeal, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about. So I started listening and it took a little bit time get the hang of, but pretty soon I really started loving hearing Katherine reading her book and following along with the ebook!

I think Katherine Ryan did a positively wonderful job narrating her book! She did a fantastic job with the accents and the voices, she was engaging and great with speaking matter of factly when it was for the best and adding emotion when it called for it. She made me laugh not only with the words she wrote, but the way she read them. You know, I once saw someone say that they didn’t listen to audiobooks because they felt that you weren’t getting your own interpretation of the book, but listening to the way someone else has interpreted it instead and I don’t know if I completely agree/disagree with that, but all I have to say is that if that is actually a true statement, then I am one hundred percent glad that I listened to this audiobook and got Katherine Ryan’s interpretation of her book, because it was hands down better than any interpretation I could have ever come up with! I just absolutely loved How to Accidentally Settle Down: (With Your High School Boyfriend) so much and while I don’t think I’ll necessarily be all about audiobooks now, I won’t be so hesitant to pick more up because of this amazing, awesome book and reading from Katherine Ryan!

~ Sonja, 5 Stars

[Amanda Gallagher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Amazon Original Stories for the ARC of this book.

I've seen a few Katherine Ryan comedy specials and I've found her to be extremely likeable and entertaining. She's honest and raw and speaks to women like myself who are forging their own paths in life. This short autobiography is very true to her voice and will be familiar and comforting to those who like her comedy specials.

With that being said, I fail to see the reason why this book/story had to be written. There were moments that strayed away from the main question of the book, and it felt as though she had to hit a certain word count for the publishers. For a short book/story, it occasionally felt like a slog to get through.

I also question Katherine's why for sharing this story in this way. While I do think it's important that her story be told because women should see other examples of how to have and be a family, I also feel like this book was written to convince her audience that her now husband is "one of the good ones."

I can understand and empathize with the difficulties of going public with a romantic relationship when a lot of your success came from being so open about being single can be difficult; your audience is protective of you through their parasocial relationship and they're wary of anyone "new" coming into the picture. But I also feel like if someone were secure in their relationship, they wouldn't feel the need to write about how good their new partner is? Or they would give us more about him as a person in the book/story and share a bit more of their side?

I don't want to speculate too much beyond this point because, frankly, it's none of my business. I just ultimately hope that Katherine and her family are happy and healthy and that she continues to advocate for women in entertainment, comedy, and the world as a whole. Her voice is definitely important and while I didn't love this book/story, I do feel like there is an audience for it and it's worthy of being shared and read.