Stories from an Undisciplined Heart

by Bryan Zantua

A country ravaged by loneliness. A glimpse of a plane crash. Bizarre visions. A death-defying quest for vengeance. Questions about what it means to truly live. A missing cat.

Melancholic, existential, dreadful but with a dash of hope, the twelve stories contained in Bryan Zantua's debut collection explore the anxieties that come with living in a constantly evolving world through a Filipino lens. Set in places that teeter between the real and the imagined, prepare to go on an emotional journey that crosses the lines of love, loss, emptiness, nostalgia, yearning, and everything else that constitutes the undisciplined heart.

200 pages, Paperback

Published October 26, 2023

About the author

Born and raised in Naga City, Bryan Zantua graduated from the University of Santo Tomas in 2017 with a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and is currently taking up his MA in Creative Writing at the University of the Philippines – Diliman. He won as Champion in the 6th Round of UP Likhaan's Life UPdates and went on to win the 1st Runner up in the Grand Finals. His main goal in life is to own a boardgame café that doubles as an independent press financed by a Shakey's franchise. Stories from an Undisciplined Heart is his first book.

Reviews

[Spens (Sphynx Reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

If there is one thing I can say about this anthology, it would be that it has range. Zantua demonstrates his capability of writing short stories that make you pause and think in a similar fashion as Black Mirror, albeit more introspective in its tone. There is something for everyone here: from the reflective to the absurdist, the speculative bordering on dystopian, the literary with a dash of fabulism, and the downright dramatic. A fresh debut perfect for fans of Song of the Mango and Other New Myths by Vida Cruz-Borja.

[Beatrice · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC kindly provided in exchange for an honest review.

Stories from an Undisciplined Heart seems like speculative fiction with a dystopia vibe. Quite eccentric and I believe each story highlights different issues happened in the community. What truly captivated me is about the stigma on mental health. Up to this day, people's lack of understanding on mental health issues has a huge impact on an individual.

The descriptions are picturesque and it took me time to absorb everything since this is not the the usual book I read. It's good and refreshing.

Final rating: 3.5 / 5 stars

[Emmzxiee · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I haven’t said that to you in a long while, but it’s as true as the first time I said it. You’re the most important person in my life. If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve been just as purposeless and lost as I were back then. I would’ve been nothing.”

-An Excerpt from Excess Baggage / SFAUH

SYNOPSIS:

A country ravaged by loneliness. A glimpse of a plane crash. Bizarre visions. A death-defying quest for vengeance. Questions about what it means to truly live. A missing cat.

Melancholic, existential, dreadful but with a dash of hope, the twelve stories contained in Bryan Zantua’s debut collection explore the anxieties that come with living in a constantly evolving world through a Filipino lens. Set in places that teeter between the real and the imagined, prepare to go on an emotional journey that crosses the lines of love, loss, emptiness, nostalgia, yearning, and everything else that constitutes the undisciplined heart.

BOOK REVIEW:

It's been a while since I posted here on my blog about a book. Glad that this event sparked the fire in me to reactivate this long-lost passion that I had and I am so happy that our book club (Talk Bookish To Me PH) was able to host this blog tour.

Stories from an Undisciplined Heart created by Bryan Zantua carried me to a world of surprises. Honestly, I had my hesitations about living and savoring books from local self-published books because of my past experiences with them. However, Zantua proves and erases all of these intuitions that I had in my mind. For me, he smashes that benchmark and raises a flag for those local self-published authors that writing a book can be crafted beautifully.

He created doors and portals where you can enter and engage with it. He explores a diverse writing style. You can see the kaleidoscopic riffs and runs in every story that he assembled. I may say that it is risky but it worked for me. The way of writing turned into his own masterpiece. An art, I can tell.

I am the kind of reader who focuses on how I can relate or connect with the characters. This is one of the things that I am looking for when I am reading certain stories or novels.

As I read each story, I was able to get to the crises of the characters. Though sometimes, I find myself not relating to them causing me to disconnect with the world that he is trying to engage in, Zantua's writing grapples me back and lets me reengage.

Zantua brings most of my favored genres to his tales, specifically Dystopian. This is the one that seized my attention as his first story ventures into a world with an element that I adored. I was hooked!

I also love that he tackles one of my favorite and important topics that is so close in my heart which is Mental Health Awareness. Zantua slays it and becomes an echo chamber for those who are experiencing mental illness. He uses his ingenuity in writing to serve as an avenue to dissect and enlighten his readers about things that we should prioritize these and should not disregard. I really appreciate him by including a story about it.

Besides the stories that I mentioned above, one that impacted me the most is the "Empty Baggage". For some reason, the characters, the situation, and how they talk in this story are something real and realistic to me. I was able to feel the pain that it tries to radiate to its reader. I feel like I am on that scene with the characters, watching them throwing their lines and doing the actions without being noticed which is for me a commendable act to a writer since they let the audience be engaged with the world that they have created.

What to Expect in Stories from an Undisciplined Heart (SFAUH)?

As mentioned above, his stories cover a lot of events, issues, and topics that you can classify yourself and you can relate to. Expect stories that are written in different formats, different voices, and different attacks. Zantua endeavors to fill those fantasies that we had in mind and shows versatility and flexibility through his own way of writing.

Overall, I really like how the stories place something in me that I can have. Those takeaways made me think and reflect on something about life – how complex it can be and how a certain decision, behavior, and emotions create an undisciplined heart. Moreover, I wish that these short stories were a bit longer as I am so invested in the events that are happening in them.

For me this one deserves a solid 4 stars!

[Isla Noriega · Rating 4 out of 5]

What image comes to mind when you hear about an undisciplined heart? If you ask me, an undisciplined heart is a passionate and restless vessel waiting to burst. The same can be said about this short story collection.

Unbeknownst to me, ordering this book and cracking it open were two of the easier things I’ve done with it. Getting through Bryan’s twelve stories personally proved to be a challenge as they showcased multifaceted worlds and distinct emotions that he skillfully fleshed out in each piece.

I also can’t help but applaud his decision to arrange his debut collection’s reading order from heavy to light. It’s a seamless gradient that would make anyone let out a breath they wouldn’t know they were holding until they reached the final page. At the same time, I am getting “if you can't handle me at my worst (feelings-wise), then you don't deserve me at my best” vibes from this book which made my reading finish even sweeter.

[Jillian Sevilla-Sales · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got excited when a reader friend messaged me for this tour.

First thing that caught my eye was the title, Stories from an Undisciplined Heart.
And don't let the cover fool you!
This book is a collection of short stories of the author from the first time he tried to write up to the present.

‼️WARNING‼️
This may be a bit different from all the reviews this book already received.
I hope my words will come out as constructive criticism. 😅
I do believe we all have different taste when it comes to books.

This post contains two parts.
First one would be for the negative review (things I am not in favor of).
Again, these are my preferences.
You can skip this part and scroll up for the second one, my positive review
⬇️

⬇️

⬇️

⬇️
𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔
0/5⭐
I strongly believe (comparing to other books I have read), that you can express a character's emotion without the F word or any other swear words.
You can use his/her body language, facial expression, or his reaction to a certain event.
With this book, I lost count. 😅

𝑬𝒙𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒕 𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔
0/5⭐
Same with my explanation above, there are some scenes that you can write without saying what actually happened. Tension between two characters can be written beautifully and heartbreaking without the open door romance. :)

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔
3/5⭐
I understand that some of the stories here are from the author's early written works.
I tend to use heavy words with my early stories too.
But there are words that are too deep for a new reader here (and if he is targeting a young audience for this book).
The rest are easy to understand.

There. I think I am done with the negative reviews. 😅
Still there? Good.
Let's move on to the things that I liked.


𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔
4/5⭐
Some stories here have great potential to be a novel (I think most of the readers that are part of this tour will agree with me).
One that I really enjoyed reading (and hoping for more) was the SAYA 2034.
A robot/humanoid running to be a president of the Philippines! 🤖
I nooded my head while reading when it said that it is a fantasy come true or a pending dystopian nightmare. 😅😂
The author has written interesting short stories while weaving the filipino culture in it.
Not forced and not cheesy.
Just the right flavor.
𝑻𝒐𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒔
4/5⭐
One of the things that I loved to read is when an author handles hard topics.
Like for example in this book, there is a mental health pandemic where you have to wear a bracelet to know the status of your mind.
As someone who has gone through postpartum depression, I think the author handled the topic carefully and also represented well those people experiencing it.
𝑷𝒂𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈
5/5⭐
A page turner.
No boring scenes.
No dragging chapters.

This book is like a roller coaster ride of emotions.
It will take you to different places, different kinds of people, and different thoughts.
It kept me wanting for something...closure, redemption of some sort, but alas, I have to remind myself that these short stories are meant to be that way.
A side note from me:
After reading those short stories, it reminded me of this verse,
"𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆".
One of the most important things that God always reminds us was to keep our hearts in check.
According to what I have read in an article, The heart is a powerful force that drives our actions and influences our thinking and behavior. It can either lead us down a path of righteousness or a path of destruction. Our hearts are susceptible to sinful thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs. Hence, we must be mindful of what we allow into our hearts; everything we do flows from it.
(Gotquestions)
I felt mostly sadness and the characters pain in each story. And how broken they are.
How broken WE ALL ARE.
This may be fiction, but these are real problems and real struggles.
And if you are currently experiencing these things, hugs my friend!
Cry if you have too. Feel the pain.
May you feel God's love, peace, and experience His mercy.

[Trisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got a free copy of Stories from an Undisciplined Heart in exchange for a review. Here's my thoughts:

Stories from an Undisciplined Heart is an anthology of eclectic stories spanning from the banal to the bizarre. Although the subject matter and the presentation of the stories differ from one another, there's an underlying, consistent impact throughout, where in every story makes you ponder on the possibilities of life.

Personally, I am not a fan of anthologies as I believe the common weak point is the author's inability to provide adequate exposition to fully grasp the reader's attention. Short stories do not provide much avenue to fully unfold an idea, and so that limited space often leads to unsatisfactory stories.

However, I don't think that weak point is very apparent with Undisciplined Heart. All of the stories vary in length, but all of them are written with rich, detailed narration that no matter the length of the story, you'd be able to fully immerse yourself in the setting of the story. The writing of the book comes off as very natural; even with the broad-ranging topics presented in the anthology through different writing styles, no story ever felt like it was contrived.

I also want to shed light on the subject matter(s) of the anthology, more particularly, the creativity that the author has in the development of the stories. Majority of the stories are timely and thought-provoking, and honestly, somewhat eerie. I find the stories somewhat bizarre as the topics presented are relevant, contemporary issues that surround modern society today, so to see these issues twisted creatively, forced me to step out of my comfort zone and think outside of the box.

I'd like to highlight my favorite works:

1. Time Capsule: A Glimpse of the Sama-sama Era - I believe this story is the most impactful of all, which really helped set the bar for the rest of the series. Presenting the story in various mediums (such as a narrative story, an article, personal messaging excerpts, etc), really helped me immerse into the subject matter of the story and prompted me to start thinking about the future of mental health awareness.

2. Lights Off - This story was one of the shorter ones but is definitely an impactful one. Even with its length, the narration of Lights Off was written so well that a lingering feeling of dread and, at the same time, wonder, still remained even long after I finished the story.

3. Reincarnation for Dummies (Vengeful Wives Ed.) - This story was extremely entertaining for me; the story is a modern-day tragedy with a supernatural twist. What makes the story one of my favorites is the author's ability to write the perspective of the two main characters, as it truly made me completely engaged with what unfolded throughout.

Overall, I had a blast reading Stories from an Undisciplined Heart and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for variety within short stories that encapsulate prevalent and underlying issues of modern society.

[PJ Nadela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd like to extend my gratitude to Talk Bookish To Me for providing me with an ARC of "Stories From An Undisciplined Heart" on behalf of Bryan Zantua. It's a privilege to share my firsthand experience of reading this book and to show my support to local authors, especially to those who are just starting out. Before diving into this novel, I had no prior knowledge of the author or his work, but he certainly left a lasting impression.

At first glance, the book's title and cover may lead you to expect a certain type of narrative, but it quickly becomes evident that it delves into a much darker and thought-provoking series of stories that evoke a multitude of emotions. The book starts with a strong opening, akin to the anticipation felt on a roller coaster's ascent, and then, as you reach the summit, the message becomes crystal clear, swiftly plunging you into a compelling series of narratives.

The literary pieces within the novel explore a wide spectrum of emotions, often set in dire and occasionally bizarre scenarios. Some delve into socio-political issues, revealing the raw humanity stripped of its facades in each story. The writing style and format of each piece are crafted creatively, offering distinct flavors unique to each story.

The anthology's themes are timely, spanning topics such as urban loneliness, the pervasive influence of AI technology on a national scale, social privileges, infidelity, guilt, dementia, and more. What sets the author apart is his ability to tackle these issues effectively, using the lens of absurdity, contrast, and dark imagery. This distinctive technique is consistently woven throughout the collection, creating a cohesive narrative that runs through the entire book.

"Stories From An Undisciplined Heart" is a compelling work of literature that vividly paints local imagery in a rich palette of colors. I wholeheartedly recommend that everyone pick up a copy, as it stands as a testament to the continued legacy of literary excellence in our generation of local writers.

[Vinsci Fernandez · Rating 4 out of 5]

“There’s pain in emptiness, I can’t say the same for nothingness.”

I’m the type of reader who will pick a book based on an interesting or intriguing cover. I don’t read the synopsis & dive right in. My initial thoughts about the cover was how timely it was for Halloween. The cover gave me the creep factor but also made me think about what it represents. I had some confusion as I was reading the book. I couldn't get the connection with the stories that I had to tap @emmzxiee_07 to get some answers, which ended with a good book discussion. Not only did I have an Aha moment, but I related to what it meant more.

The book is a compilation of short stories. A lot of them dealt with mental health. I wished a book like this existed as I navigated adulthood in my 20s. Growing up, anxiety and depression felt taboo because that’s how I was raised. You don’t give room to such things; you wing through life & fight those evil emotions. I could feel the knowledge & understanding of the author about the topics. The ideas behind each story made me want to sit down with the author & chat with him. My only critique is the ending of some of the stories. It left me with questions and curiosity. A few of the stories I liked were about the Sama Sama Protocol, where individuals were tagged yellow, green, & red depending on their mental state. They then get paired with another person. A red - considered critical, individuals who attempted suicide can be paired with yellow or green individuals. They can be people with issues but considered more stable. I could feel the tension & pressure with each match. The Twelve Eleven story was relatable for me. The fear of failing, lack of purpose, or dream was something I felt getting out of college. The plot twist on the Reincarnation of the Dummies was fascinating, & the game Trip to Jerusalem to solve a conflict in the story And There Were Four was hilarious. Overall, the author did an excellent job with his debut book. I think he will fare well if he writes an entire story about his topics or even with his characters in the story.

[Mark Fermill · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's like I was watching a new season of Love Death + Robots... but in a form of a book!

It's different from the kind of short stories I read before. It's refreshing. You can really tell that each story were written carefully and had undergone thorough research. Most have a purpose. And some even made me pause and think about life in general.

However, there are some few issues I encountered with the book:
- It would be better if it started with SAYA 2034 instead of Time Capsule. Time Capsule was like a short story of many short stories, and I find it hard connecting with a character when on the next page, it's about another character again. I remember I asked myself, So what happened to Matti? Who is this character now? How many characters are in this?
- Some stories in this book lacked good ending. There were at least three stories here that made me think, That's it? Like in And Then There Were Four, it could have shown more of what happened to the evicted family.

Most favorite story: SAYA 2034
- Intriguing. I find myself agreeing with every point of the conversation. It's the fastest one I read because I couldn't put the book down. It's also the story in the book that I really wanted to be longer.

Other stories I liked: Reincarnation for Dummies and Time Capsule (I know I pointed out an issue here, but I really liked the story too).

Least favorite story: Twelve Eleven
- It felt like nothing happened. Like I just read a single scene and that's it. Could have made a lasting impact with me if more of what happened next were shown. I couldn't even understand (until now) why the title is like that.

Other stories I didn't like: Have you seen my cat? and Sweet Caroline

Overall, I really appreciate the beauty of this book. It's new, it's an eye-opener, and it's indeed an interesting read. I believe it should and it deserves to be read by many.

[John Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

#bookreview

Book: Stories from an Undisciplined Heart
Type: Anthology
Genre: Mixed
Themes: A Tapestry of Nostalgia and Cultural Pride
Author: Bryan Zantua
Date Released: 2023
My Rating: 4.5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐✨

"Stories from an Undisciplined Heart" by Bryan Zantua initially appears to be a mosaic of psychological insights and social media musings turned into a book. However, as one delves deeper into its pages, it becomes evident that there is a profound depth to this anthology. Each story evokes a sense of nostalgia, resonating particularly with Filipino readers who have lived through the experiences portrayed. The cultural essence embedded within these narratives lingers long after the final page is turned.

What sets this anthology apart is Zantua's masterful fusion of archetypal and modern writing structures. This blending breathes life into the stories, giving them a unique and captivating quality. "Before the Crash," a short story within the collection, mirrors the poignant impact of Jason Reynolds' "Long Way Down." Its raw emotion and thought-provoking narrative leave a lasting impression, much like Reynolds' work did upon first reading.

"Stories from an Undisciplined Heart" caters to a diverse audience. It is a poignant reverie for those yearning for the innocent days of childhood, a celebration of cultural heritage, and a comforting balm for those grappling with mental health concerns. Zantua's writing transcends boundaries, offering solace and connection to readers from all walks of life.

In the end, "Stories from an Undisciplined Heart" is more than just a collection of anecdotes; it is a tapestry of memories, emotions, and cultural nuances expertly woven together by Bryan Zantua. This anthology is a testament to the power of storytelling and its ability to touch the hearts of readers across the globe.

NB: Thanks to my book brother, Emmanuel for inviting me to join this event. 😊🎉

[readsandramble · Rating 5 out of 5]

Twelve stand-alone short stories are collated in this printed work of art, filled with distinct adventures that talk about our varying connections and familiarity with love, friendship, mishaps, and longing.

Stories from an Undisciplined Heart is such a breath of fresh air for someone like me who relishes the comfort of romance, complexity of poetries, and perplexity of whodunnits. All twelve stories are narrated differently and intended to tap into the current points at issue that not just our country but this whole world is coming up against. A couple of stories hold some semblance to the dystopian impression of Black Mirror, while the other tickles that sense of nostalgia in every individual who devours this book.

“Lights Off” is the chapter that captured not just my heart but my whole being—it blissfully encapsulated the jarring truth about desolation and emptiness, basically the entire scope of mental health awareness that all of us should weigh up, but most of us are deliberately ignoring. It is the major cherry on top of all cherries on top of each story that this book rendered.

"You see, there's a leak inside me and I don't have the tools to fix it. It took some time, but I've already accepted it as something that I can't change. But I figured there should be more to me than this. More in existence than what I feel. Happiness, comfort, security, they'll die with me. So will my misery. Maybe they're not so different after all…In the universe of grander things, what I feel is irrelevant. What matters is what I can leave behind and hope it will stand the test of time."
—Zantua, B. (2023). Lights Off. In Stories from an Undisciplined Heart (pp. 55). Bryan Zantua

Do NOT take my words with a grain of salt when I say you shouldn’t be sleeping on this work of art by an up-and-coming Filipino author. It is about time that these kinds of treasures be recognized not just locally but across the globe.

[Mikee · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s very rare to find a good collection of micro-fiction written by local authors, so reading this was an absolute treat. Huge thanks to the author himself for sending me an ARC—I was extremely stoked when it hit my inbox.

As with most short stories, it’s difficult to come up with a general rating because there are entries that are just significantly better than the others. But I’ve to say though: it was very refreshing to see a Filipino author take an unusual step in creating stories that heavily revolved around present-day societal issues, family dynamics, Filipino culture, and mental health crises. Important topics like these have a widespread hold on so many authors and publications, therefore, it’s quite uncommon to find a related work that doesn’t sound unvaried and repetitive.

With these stories, I thoroughly enjoyed seeing an ordinary plot turn into the most intriguing and thought-provoking piece of work with the author’s brilliant use of bizarre and atypical characterizations. Offbeat fiction is a very difficult genre to get into, and it takes a good set of writing skills to keep the readers engaging with the little oddities and absurdities that it usually comes with.

Admittedly, a few chapters could have used a bit more of world-building and character development; I also found some dialogues a bit unrealistic and silly. But then again, I guess that’s just how the genre works—it aims to weird you out and move you. And the author did that ever so excellently.

For a debut work, this was absolutely outstanding. The quips, the subtle shades, and the insightful undertones of it all—simply remarkable. I genuinely hope everyone gets to read this.

[Diane RB (booksandthensome) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been into anthologies as of late and when this book got into my radar, I knew I wanted to try a collection from a somewhat dystopian genre - at least that was what I thought. And look at that cover! A headless human in a forest illustrated in a way feels both scary and amusing? Count me in!

True to the cover, this collection made me feel scared and amused - and disturbed and aware. Reading the first set felt so much like watching Black Mirror episodes- dark and foreboding, and underlying the social and political themes is a call to action. They were cinematic and lingering.

Then there are stories about everyday life, an exploration of the intense feelings and predicaments regular people find themselves in. Despite the length, I thought the characters and situations made such a strong mark and the author definitely knows how to show rather than tell.

I love how each story is distinct but that overall I understood the coherence in all 12 stories. The stories make you think and contemplate on your choices and gets you to decide what are you going to do moving forward. I choose Time Capsule, Saya 2034 and Reincarnation for Dummies as my top 3.

Rating this 🌟🌟🌟🌟!

There are dark themes and potential triggers from the book which you may want to check before diving in. When in the right headspace, do read this great debut! I am definitely sticking around to read more from this author. Congratulations @bryan.udh 🎉

[Moonshine_2021 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Short stories that have no link to one another are not my preference. I also dislike stories that have ambiguous conclusions. However, this book did a wonderful job of compelling me to read it all. The endings didn't leave me feeling unfulfilled; instead, it gave me the impression of being a bystander who merely stopped by for a moment's observation. The veracity of the stories and the author's ability to write in a variety of themes—including a robot running for president, a romance between a Christian and an Atheist, a vengeful wife's reincarnation, and a family dispute resolved with musical chairs and Pinoy henyo, among many other themes—are what most amaze me about this book. It's well told, and it kept me engaged. I enjoyed it very much!

[Gae · Rating 4 out of 5]

My rating: 3.5 stars

To me, the conclusion of each story seemed to be the highlight of my reading experience of this short story collection. They sometimes looked disconnected - or apathetic even - but they left me looking at the horizon blankly, processing my thoughts and feelings about the stories. I was either reflective or lost. Sometimes, the stories just left me empty. I guess the state of being contemplative or dazed while and after reading the stories is what makes this book more charming. My favorite stories from this book are Have You Seen My Cat?, And Then There Were Four, and Sweet Caroline.

[Nicesuu · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well-written collection of short stories. My personal favorites are the ones with slice of life theme, Bryan Zantua perfectly captures the beauty in everyday life.

I’m lucky to get a free copy from the author for an honest review 😊

[Luna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book made me realize a whole new perspective in life and love. Kudos to you Author! Thank you for blessing us with this book.

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lights Off broke my heart 😭😭💔💔