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Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us
This Short, Funny, and Quirky Book
Is a Must-Read for Cat Owners
Julie and Darryl are a married couple who discover a way to read the minds of their cats, Oliver and Wendell. By doing so, they find out some amazing stuff about their feline companions.
Oliver and Wendell are exceptionally smart. They philosophize about life, understand Spanish, and know history and pop culture. The cats also have hilarious “conversations” about every cat behavior from chasing mice to grooming to using the litter box.
What’s more, the cat thoughts reveal that Julie and Darryl each have secret relationships they’re hiding from each other. And most shockingly, Julie and Darryl discover a sinister side to their cats. It appears Oliver and Wendell are secretly scheming to murder their owners.
Now the couple faces a crisis. Can they make these would-be killers change their minds? Can they uncover the murder plot before it happens? Or should they get rid of the cats before it’s too late?
If you’re a cat owner, you’ll love this short, funny and wacky book. If you don’t own cats, it’s a great gift for your cat-owning friends.
Is a Must-Read for Cat Owners
Julie and Darryl are a married couple who discover a way to read the minds of their cats, Oliver and Wendell. By doing so, they find out some amazing stuff about their feline companions.
Oliver and Wendell are exceptionally smart. They philosophize about life, understand Spanish, and know history and pop culture. The cats also have hilarious “conversations” about every cat behavior from chasing mice to grooming to using the litter box.
What’s more, the cat thoughts reveal that Julie and Darryl each have secret relationships they’re hiding from each other. And most shockingly, Julie and Darryl discover a sinister side to their cats. It appears Oliver and Wendell are secretly scheming to murder their owners.
Now the couple faces a crisis. Can they make these would-be killers change their minds? Can they uncover the murder plot before it happens? Or should they get rid of the cats before it’s too late?
If you’re a cat owner, you’ll love this short, funny and wacky book. If you don’t own cats, it’s a great gift for your cat-owning friends.
134 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 10, 2023
233 people are currently reading
135 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
October 7, 2023
Let’s face it. We all know the truth about cats. It’s just that some of us won’t admit it: it’s a cat’s world, and we just live in it. Author Jim Tilberry, known for such motivational and highly inspirational reads as “Coffee Dates from Hell” and “Revenge of the Vegetarian” has finally provided his fans with the penultimate expose of cats, “Our Cats are Plotting to Kill Us.”
If you’ve been around many cats in your life, you’ve seen the look before. That decidedly feline stare that sends chills down your spine as you wonder to yourself, “Is he receiving new orders from Lucifer? Or is he in touch with his home planet right now?” Cats have cultivated that air of mystery since man huddled around a campfire. But thanks to good ol’ Yankee ingenuity, and the author, we can now know the truth.
In Jim Tilberry’s “Our Cats are Plotting to Kill Us,” husband and wife Darryl and Julie are concerned about the looks they’re receiving from their feline friends, Oliver and Wendell. Julie discovers a new device conceived by Elon Musk that is capable of revealing what cats are thinking and discussing. Yep, from electric cars, to space, the internet, and… cat conversation. So, Julie orders “Cat Chat,” a device that secretly records the brain waves of house cats and sends the owner an email printout. Genius.
What follows is a master class in why cats are smarter than us. Julie and Darryl learn many things about their tiny terrors. The cats are considerably smarter than expected. They’re great with pop culture references and even know Spanish. Who would have guessed? But the most intriguing part is that the cats do indeed talk about their owners, and not in flattering ways. As if this weren’t enough, it appears they truly are plotting something against their ugly, stupid humans (their words, not mine).
This story (and I use that term loosely), reminds me of those more literary tales where a person is granted their wish of being able to read the minds of others. That never works out well for them. They’re either hurt by what they discover others think of them, or they go crazy listening to all the useless and inane thoughts. They also find out secrets they didn’t want to know. In this case, it seems Oliver and Wendell know everything that goes on around the house, including the secret relationships they’ve seen their owners engage in. Learning about Darryl’s “Chiquita” and Julie’s “Ivan the Terrible” as the cats call them, has created a rift in the couple’s matrimonial bliss.
This short book is pure satirical fun. The tongue-in-cheek conversations are designed to lighten the mood, not enlighten the reader. Every cat owner will recognize aspects of their dictator, I mean cat, in the mannerisms and haughty behavior of Oliver and Wendell. Readers will not only enjoy this delightfully humorous little read, but they may also gain some true insight into their tabbies. The author divulges the reasons cats climb onto your laptop keyboard while you’re working, or what kind of cat logic is involved when they poop in the litter box you just cleaned. Sarcasm and cats: it’s like PB&J. They’re just natural together.
If you enjoy short escapist reading that doesn’t threaten you with profound insight or high-level vocabulary,
If you want a book (or author) that doesn’t take the subject too seriously,
If you’re looking for insight into the furry little nuggets that let you love them when it’s convenient for them,
Then you don’t want to miss this masterpiece of wit and whim, “Our Cats are Plotting to Kill Us” by Jim Tilberry.
If you’ve been around many cats in your life, you’ve seen the look before. That decidedly feline stare that sends chills down your spine as you wonder to yourself, “Is he receiving new orders from Lucifer? Or is he in touch with his home planet right now?” Cats have cultivated that air of mystery since man huddled around a campfire. But thanks to good ol’ Yankee ingenuity, and the author, we can now know the truth.
In Jim Tilberry’s “Our Cats are Plotting to Kill Us,” husband and wife Darryl and Julie are concerned about the looks they’re receiving from their feline friends, Oliver and Wendell. Julie discovers a new device conceived by Elon Musk that is capable of revealing what cats are thinking and discussing. Yep, from electric cars, to space, the internet, and… cat conversation. So, Julie orders “Cat Chat,” a device that secretly records the brain waves of house cats and sends the owner an email printout. Genius.
What follows is a master class in why cats are smarter than us. Julie and Darryl learn many things about their tiny terrors. The cats are considerably smarter than expected. They’re great with pop culture references and even know Spanish. Who would have guessed? But the most intriguing part is that the cats do indeed talk about their owners, and not in flattering ways. As if this weren’t enough, it appears they truly are plotting something against their ugly, stupid humans (their words, not mine).
This story (and I use that term loosely), reminds me of those more literary tales where a person is granted their wish of being able to read the minds of others. That never works out well for them. They’re either hurt by what they discover others think of them, or they go crazy listening to all the useless and inane thoughts. They also find out secrets they didn’t want to know. In this case, it seems Oliver and Wendell know everything that goes on around the house, including the secret relationships they’ve seen their owners engage in. Learning about Darryl’s “Chiquita” and Julie’s “Ivan the Terrible” as the cats call them, has created a rift in the couple’s matrimonial bliss.
This short book is pure satirical fun. The tongue-in-cheek conversations are designed to lighten the mood, not enlighten the reader. Every cat owner will recognize aspects of their dictator, I mean cat, in the mannerisms and haughty behavior of Oliver and Wendell. Readers will not only enjoy this delightfully humorous little read, but they may also gain some true insight into their tabbies. The author divulges the reasons cats climb onto your laptop keyboard while you’re working, or what kind of cat logic is involved when they poop in the litter box you just cleaned. Sarcasm and cats: it’s like PB&J. They’re just natural together.
If you enjoy short escapist reading that doesn’t threaten you with profound insight or high-level vocabulary,
If you want a book (or author) that doesn’t take the subject too seriously,
If you’re looking for insight into the furry little nuggets that let you love them when it’s convenient for them,
Then you don’t want to miss this masterpiece of wit and whim, “Our Cats are Plotting to Kill Us” by Jim Tilberry.
April 1, 2024
Maybe 1.5 stars. I don’t even know why I wasted my time reading this but felt invested once I started. The characters are both dumb and annoying. I liked the cats more.
June 1, 2024
Horrible writing, terrible characters and just not funny. Don’t waste your time.
October 12, 2023
I absolutely loved this wonderful book by author Jim Tilberry! It is witty and packed with lots of fun humor that actually kept me enthralled so that I could not put the book down. It really made me ponder on what my cat thinks each and every day....I think I know but do I really?! LOL.... it was so much fun and it is a fast read too and packed with humor that will have you giggling throughout. I loved it so much I want to check out Author Tilberry's other books next!
January 13, 2024
Mind Numbingly Dumb
I got this book because reviews mentioned how funny and off beat it was. It just wasn't. It reminded me, in tone, of short stories my peers were writing in high school. The couple was toxic and dumb every step of the way. The cats were humorless and predictable. I didn't want to finish this book 1 chapter in, but I pushed myself so I would be closer to my year end reading goal. The dialogue was hard to follow, as it rarely told you who was speaking, other than the cats. I dont think knowing would have added anything. It was predictable and lifeless. Save yourself 2 hours.
I got this book because reviews mentioned how funny and off beat it was. It just wasn't. It reminded me, in tone, of short stories my peers were writing in high school. The couple was toxic and dumb every step of the way. The cats were humorless and predictable. I didn't want to finish this book 1 chapter in, but I pushed myself so I would be closer to my year end reading goal. The dialogue was hard to follow, as it rarely told you who was speaking, other than the cats. I dont think knowing would have added anything. It was predictable and lifeless. Save yourself 2 hours.
April 24, 2024
I lost about two hours of my life
I'll never get it back. I don't know why I kept reading this. I got it free on Amazon Kindle. I didn't laugh, grin or even smirk. I did berate myself multiple times for continuing to read it. I had my doubts on page one. It's all on me that I didn't quit then.
I'll never get it back. I don't know why I kept reading this. I got it free on Amazon Kindle. I didn't laugh, grin or even smirk. I did berate myself multiple times for continuing to read it. I had my doubts on page one. It's all on me that I didn't quit then.
November 6, 2023
If the main characters were as unlikeable as these two, I’d want to kill them off too. One of the dumbest books I’ve ever read.
October 9, 2023
Every cat owner makes a joke at some point in their lives that their cats are plotting to kill them. The thoughtful, deliberate nature of these animals seems to warrant it. However, in the case of author Jim Tilberry this “joke” becomes a reality through the pages of “Our Cats Are Plotting to Kill Us.”
Full of humor and satire, Jim Tilberry will surely make readers chuckle throughout “Our Cats Are Plotting to Kill Us.” The stars of this read are two rescue cats, Oliver and Wendell. Oliver and Wendell seem to be up to something, and Julie is determined to get to the bottom of it. Seeking the guidance of an animal psychic her beliefs are confirmed. So, Julie decides to download her free trial of Elon Musk’s app ‘Cat Chat’ that allows humans to translate cats’ thoughts. Originally developed by Musk to see if his own cats wanted to fly to Mars, Musk has conveniently launched this app to the masses so they can get to know their own cats’ thoughts.
What ensues is a chaotic and hilarious daily transcript of these two plotting cats as Julie and her lottery-winning husband, Darryl, begin to fear the end of their lives. Throughout the free trial of this app, Julie forces Darryl to listen to the cats’ conversations, becoming ever more nefarious and secretive as nicknames are given to the humans and Oliver and Wendell count down to the day they take out ‘Baldy and Shorty.’
I challenge readers NOT to laugh as they read this ever more hilarious and absurd chain of events and dialogue. The author does a phenomenal job with witty banter, laugh-out-loud dialogue, and hysterical inner thoughts. From the relationship between Darryl and Julie to Oliver and Wendell’s portrayal of their world, and the secrets kept in between it all. “Our Cats Are Plotting to Kill Us” by Jim Tilberry is the perfect uproarious read. Peppered with illustrations at each chapter header, these characters and their amusing hand-drawn portrayals will have you rolling. Oliver and Wendell play their parts spectacularly as the ‘Cat Chat’ app begins to crumble Julie and Darryl’s world.
Thank you, Jim Tilberry, for the much-needed laugh and amusement!
Full of humor and satire, Jim Tilberry will surely make readers chuckle throughout “Our Cats Are Plotting to Kill Us.” The stars of this read are two rescue cats, Oliver and Wendell. Oliver and Wendell seem to be up to something, and Julie is determined to get to the bottom of it. Seeking the guidance of an animal psychic her beliefs are confirmed. So, Julie decides to download her free trial of Elon Musk’s app ‘Cat Chat’ that allows humans to translate cats’ thoughts. Originally developed by Musk to see if his own cats wanted to fly to Mars, Musk has conveniently launched this app to the masses so they can get to know their own cats’ thoughts.
What ensues is a chaotic and hilarious daily transcript of these two plotting cats as Julie and her lottery-winning husband, Darryl, begin to fear the end of their lives. Throughout the free trial of this app, Julie forces Darryl to listen to the cats’ conversations, becoming ever more nefarious and secretive as nicknames are given to the humans and Oliver and Wendell count down to the day they take out ‘Baldy and Shorty.’
I challenge readers NOT to laugh as they read this ever more hilarious and absurd chain of events and dialogue. The author does a phenomenal job with witty banter, laugh-out-loud dialogue, and hysterical inner thoughts. From the relationship between Darryl and Julie to Oliver and Wendell’s portrayal of their world, and the secrets kept in between it all. “Our Cats Are Plotting to Kill Us” by Jim Tilberry is the perfect uproarious read. Peppered with illustrations at each chapter header, these characters and their amusing hand-drawn portrayals will have you rolling. Oliver and Wendell play their parts spectacularly as the ‘Cat Chat’ app begins to crumble Julie and Darryl’s world.
Thank you, Jim Tilberry, for the much-needed laugh and amusement!
January 14, 2024
Very light hearted and funny book. Especially if you have cat(s)
November 29, 2023
Lousy Writing!!
Just awful! Don’t bother reading this tripe! Geared toward an audience of morons! Very glad it was free. Nuf said!
Just awful! Don’t bother reading this tripe! Geared toward an audience of morons! Very glad it was free. Nuf said!
November 28, 2023
This book was just fun. It's short and easy to read, but if you ever had cats - or d0gs - you know how curious they make you. What if there was a way you could hear what they were saying? What if you didn't like what you hear?
In this case, the owners (Julie & Darryl, also known as Blondie and Dagwood) decided to get Elon Musk's cat translator and listen in on the cats' (currently named Oliver and Wendell - names they dislike) conversations. In these conversations, they learn that the cats plan to kill someone. They are afraid that means them. It doesn't but they don't know that.
The result of listening to the conversations is that the couple split up, after they learn (1) that Darryl is still married to Nicole, (2) and that he has a 10 year old daughter he forgot to mention to Julie, then (3) that Julie's brother Rick - who hates Darryl - has been visiting her when Darryl is off at his gambling club where (4) Darryl has gambled away all of the $1,000,000. he won in the lottery. Worst of all, (5) the cats HATE The Simpsons, which Darryl insists on leaving on - to entertain the cats - all the time. The cats have to find a solution.
Turns out [spoiler, so stop reading now], who the cats hate are the Simpsons. They "kill" them by smashing the TV while the show is on.
In this case, the owners (Julie & Darryl, also known as Blondie and Dagwood) decided to get Elon Musk's cat translator and listen in on the cats' (currently named Oliver and Wendell - names they dislike) conversations. In these conversations, they learn that the cats plan to kill someone. They are afraid that means them. It doesn't but they don't know that.
The result of listening to the conversations is that the couple split up, after they learn (1) that Darryl is still married to Nicole, (2) and that he has a 10 year old daughter he forgot to mention to Julie, then (3) that Julie's brother Rick - who hates Darryl - has been visiting her when Darryl is off at his gambling club where (4) Darryl has gambled away all of the $1,000,000. he won in the lottery. Worst of all, (5) the cats HATE The Simpsons, which Darryl insists on leaving on - to entertain the cats - all the time. The cats have to find a solution.
Turns out [spoiler, so stop reading now], who the cats hate are the Simpsons. They "kill" them by smashing the TV while the show is on.
October 30, 2023
Wonderful story. If you own cats this is a must read, if you don't own cats, you should read it.
A husband-and-wife rescue 2 cats from a shelter and think the cats hate them. The wife hires a cat physic, and she tells them the cats don't like them. The wife finds an app that records the cats' conversations/thoughts and downloads it, it keeps track of what her cats are saying. The daily transcripts lead the husband and wife into believing the cats hate them and want to kill them.
May of the situations had me laughing out loud.
A husband-and-wife rescue 2 cats from a shelter and think the cats hate them. The wife hires a cat physic, and she tells them the cats don't like them. The wife finds an app that records the cats' conversations/thoughts and downloads it, it keeps track of what her cats are saying. The daily transcripts lead the husband and wife into believing the cats hate them and want to kill them.
May of the situations had me laughing out loud.
August 9, 2024
A funny, quick read. This short story is about a woman that is afraid that her shelter-saved cats are communicating with each other. She tells her friend that refers her to a cat psychic, who gives her a cryptic message. She then becomes more terrified of them, but her husband treats it all as a bunch of hooey. This leads her to invest in a trial use of an invention by Elon Musk that reads cats minds, then sends the daily report to her computer, sending both the woman and her husband into craziness.
October 14, 2024
Hilarious!
All the things you think your pets think mayyyyy be true.
Though they are far more hilarious in this short novella about a young couple with 2 cats and some crazy antics from both pair and a hoot and a half for sure. Throw in a cat psychic and cat chat from Elon Musk (yes I was howling w laughter, can’t make that up bit I ammmm easily entertained).
A fun and quite funny short story and an absolutely worthwhile read
All the things you think your pets think mayyyyy be true.
Though they are far more hilarious in this short novella about a young couple with 2 cats and some crazy antics from both pair and a hoot and a half for sure. Throw in a cat psychic and cat chat from Elon Musk (yes I was howling w laughter, can’t make that up bit I ammmm easily entertained).
A fun and quite funny short story and an absolutely worthwhile read
August 3, 2025
A cute short story about a couple and their two cats. Julie and Darryl feel like their new cats don't like them, and they try to find out why. They hire an animal physic who confirms their fears. They then discover an app that can read the cats brainwaves and can translate their thoughts. In this manner they find the cats are planning to murder some people they call Baldy and Shorty. Sure that they are talking about them, the couple fears for their lives. Who are Baldy and Shorty really?
December 10, 2023
Not a bad read
It was definitely different from what I thought it was going to be. Using an app to know what your cats are saying is a little crazy but it made it funny as well. Too bad they misunderstood the transcripts as it would have cleared up a lot of confusion. Interesting read.
It was definitely different from what I thought it was going to be. Using an app to know what your cats are saying is a little crazy but it made it funny as well. Too bad they misunderstood the transcripts as it would have cleared up a lot of confusion. Interesting read.
December 10, 2023
This was brilliant! A really amusing, some times laugh out loud story! A great idea, well written by someone that has & loves cats! A really funny story line, I loved it! Had me chuckling from the first page pretty much to the very end! I finished reading in no time at all! I do recommend for all the love cats!
February 6, 2024
Silly, funny & entertaining!
I really didn’t think I would enjoy this book but, I loved it! I couldn’t wait to pick it up again to read what the cats were going to say & do next! It was a fun, crazy, silly story. It put me in a good mood & led me to a happy place with no stress or worries. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to read before going to sleep! Goodnight!
I really didn’t think I would enjoy this book but, I loved it! I couldn’t wait to pick it up again to read what the cats were going to say & do next! It was a fun, crazy, silly story. It put me in a good mood & led me to a happy place with no stress or worries. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to read before going to sleep! Goodnight!
January 16, 2025
Entertaining
I loved this book. It was simple, dumb(you'll get it when you read it) and funny! I loved the cat viewpoints and just the whole silliness of the book. I usually read crime/ mystery/ thrillers, so this was a really nice change and palate cleanser. Definitely gonna check out more of the author's books.
I loved this book. It was simple, dumb(you'll get it when you read it) and funny! I loved the cat viewpoints and just the whole silliness of the book. I usually read crime/ mystery/ thrillers, so this was a really nice change and palate cleanser. Definitely gonna check out more of the author's books.
October 23, 2023
This book is hilarious
This was honestly a book I wouldn't have picked up. But I am on my journey of new things and this was such a good read. It had me laughing and recommending it before I even finished it.
This was honestly a book I wouldn't have picked up. But I am on my journey of new things and this was such a good read. It had me laughing and recommending it before I even finished it.
November 29, 2023
Short, silly, pretty basic. But if you're looking for a serious read and turn in the direction of this book, the problem is you. This is pretty much exactly as advertised, and it's decent for what it's meant to be.
November 30, 2023
weird but amusing
A novel concept (that cats can communicate and have thoughts understandable by humans) written in a pseudo diary format. Easily read within an hour and a few mild titters.
This is not going to stretch your brain but is kookie enough to please.
A novel concept (that cats can communicate and have thoughts understandable by humans) written in a pseudo diary format. Easily read within an hour and a few mild titters.
This is not going to stretch your brain but is kookie enough to please.
December 11, 2023
Funny
It's a funny little story about cats in an app that reads the cat's Minds which would be great if it was real just think of all the things that be thinking about look forward to at least a sequel
It's a funny little story about cats in an app that reads the cat's Minds which would be great if it was real just think of all the things that be thinking about look forward to at least a sequel
December 13, 2023
Entertaining and fun!
This is a funny book with no redeeming social value. In fact I'm not sure it has any value at all other than the fact that it is entertaining and fun! I highly recommend it.
This is a funny book with no redeeming social value. In fact I'm not sure it has any value at all other than the fact that it is entertaining and fun! I highly recommend it.
January 11, 2024
Weird, funny little book
I didn't know what to expect really from this book. I was pleasantly surprised by the writing and found myself smiling and shaking my head often. Towards the end I caught myself laughing out loud !
For a quick fun read get this book!
I didn't know what to expect really from this book. I was pleasantly surprised by the writing and found myself smiling and shaking my head often. Towards the end I caught myself laughing out loud !
For a quick fun read get this book!
April 8, 2024
With all the turmoil this world is in, “Our Cats Are Plotting to Kill Us” is just the thing to take you away. Truly laugh out loud reading. I read in bed at night. I surpassed my cutoff time with no regrets. Will be reading more from Mr. Tilberry’s collection.
October 28, 2024
So Halerious
I have 2 cats and really enjoyed this book. I figured out that the cats were not plotting to kill their owners only I didn’t know who I often wonder what my cats are thinking.
I have 2 cats and really enjoyed this book. I figured out that the cats were not plotting to kill their owners only I didn’t know who I often wonder what my cats are thinking.
February 5, 2025
If I hadn’t started this inane book, I wouldn’t have wasted my time reading it. I should have read the reviews before starting it. That’s some time I’ll never get back when I could have been reading something else.
April 9, 2025
Strange but enthralling
One of the most unusual books I have read, I found myself totally engrossed, even after I realized who the cats were plotting to murder. If you like quirky reads, you need to give this one a try.
One of the most unusual books I have read, I found myself totally engrossed, even after I realized who the cats were plotting to murder. If you like quirky reads, you need to give this one a try.
June 17, 2025
Ridiculous but hilarious quick read
This book was so ridiculous that it was funny. Great for anyone who thinks their cats are out to get them. It is a quick read for anyone that wants a good laugh.
This book was so ridiculous that it was funny. Great for anyone who thinks their cats are out to get them. It is a quick read for anyone that wants a good laugh.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews