这主角我当不了 I Can't Be This Protagonist

by 冻感超人

Yan Shuang is an old veteran of the Transmigration Bureau. Once he finishes one last book, he’ll be able to make a lump-sum withdrawal of the pension he’s accumulated across various books and live a happily retired life.

There’s good news once he enters the book — He’s the protagonist.

Bad news? — He’s the protagonist of an angsty, dog blood novel.

Before him lay five highly toxic relationship plotlines with the same shou but different gongs.

Scum Gong 1: Master-servant contract with physical and mental abuse aplenty
Scum Gong 2: Carving out one of your kidneys for the white moonlight
Scum Gong 3: Brainwashing/reconditioning shame play
Scum Gong 4: You’re nice but unfortunately not clean enough
Scum Gong 5: Save him and I can marry you

Yan Shuang: He’s eager to retire already, hurry up ba

晏双是穿书局的老员工，即将要完成他的最后一本书，之后他就可以一次性提取他在各本书里积攒的退休金，过快乐的养老生活。

进入书后，好消息——他是主角，坏消息——他是狗血虐文里的主角，摆在他面前的是一受多攻毫不重叠的整整五条剧毒感情线。

渣攻1号：主仆契约虐身虐心
渣攻2号：挖肾救白月光
渣攻3号：洗脑改造羞耻play
渣攻4号：你很好但可惜太脏了
渣攻5号：救他，我可以娶你

晏双：他急着退休，赶紧滴吧

#笑死，根本不虐#

Genres: Romance

Web Novel

Reviews

[Inn Auni · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most MC in QT genre wanted the chance to reincarnate or return to their life prior to death. However, our MC's only wish was to retire on a planet he owned and planted fruit trees because according to him, fruits are a luxury item. This story was his last world before his retirement.

The story was angst with a touch of humor. Because our MC was looking forward to his retirement, he took a shortcut without going OOC. According to him, if you can boil one egg or five eggs with the same amount of time, why bother boiling only one.

And so, we got as follow:-
Egg 1: Master-servant contract with physical and mental abuse aplenty
Egg 2: Carving out one of your kidneys for the white moonlight
Egg 3: Brainwashing/reconditioning shame play
Egg 4: You’re nice but unfortunately not clean enough
Egg 5: Save him and I can marry you

The writer was good at making us readers hated the Eggs and later sympathize with them after the 'abuse' they got from our MC.

Do note that our MC have only one goal in mind; to retire on an island he owned and planted fruit trees. Every time you guys sympathize with the Eggs, remember that goal.

The trees was an ongoing humor because every time our MC saw a tree he liked, he would keep in mind to plant that tree on his planet.

Another feature for this QT was that any money our MC earned, will be channel to his retirement account. There were various way to channel it and in this story, our MC chose to donate the money to an orphanage where the original host used to live. It's a win-win situation because both the orphanage and our MC gained something from it. And so, our MC strive to earn more money. Anything that can generate money, he will and can do it.

The writer received a lot of negative comments from readers because of the ending. And here's the thing, those readers forgot our MC's goal. I even repeated that goal twice in bold.

I tag is as wife-chasing because there was such plot. However, keep in mind our MC's goal.

[Celia Añó · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great revenge time.