Roommate

Extreme Horror and Splatterpunk Tales from the Crowleyverse

by Crowley Barns

“Normal roommate wanted. No strange people. No females. No crazies.”​
That’s what my ad said. It’s all I wanted. Someone normal. Someone who won’t cause trouble.
But what did I get?
Wade.
He’s loud. He drinks. He swears. He brings back females.
And he even tries to tell me what to do.
But worse than that: He has a secret that he really, really doesn’t want me to know.

But he's not the only one with a secret.

Roommate is a twisty-turny story that drags you places you didn't know you didn't want to go with killer swerves and off-kilter killers.

A story for people who like saying, "What the HELL did I just read?" while rubbing their neck at the story whiplash.
And getting stuck with a smile that just... won't... leave...

Genres: Horror, Splatterpunk

126 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 12, 2023

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I am a huge Barnes Brothers mark. Fun, nasty, horror-filled content in each of their books. So when I saw some new releases from them, I was on it like stink on a monkey. And this started out like a basic killer roommate story, but progressively got wierder. There were times that I was completely disoriented and that just added to the experience. My best recommendation would be to just take your time with the book and hang in there, as it all comes together by the end. The journey can be a bit much at times, and I think that if this was all fleshed out a bit more, it would have decreased the overwhelming sensory overload. Wade begins as a very annoying character that you can’t figure out, but know something is up. And he does not disappoint, eventually becoming the star of this gigantic, horrendous show. Like you will never, ever guess how it all plays out. Not my favorite Barnes’ story, but it had a lot to enjoy.

[Uptown Horror Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is probably the best book I've read all year and one of the few extreme horror novels that have actually scared me.

If you're tired of reading the same ole repetitive splatterpunk stories then I implore you to read this book, but before you do so please mentally prepare yourself for the mind-fuck that you're about to read. It has so many twists and turns that it would put M. Night Shyamalan to shame.

Can't wait to read more from this author.

[Yvonne (the putrid Shelf) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Went from loving this to hating it. The ending threw me off if I'm completely honest. Wade- Australian, confident and full of himself forces his way into his new roommate flat after seeing his wanted ad. He's moving in, no matter what he says.

The way the colds were described made me feel icky, quite a few comparisons to autistic people -cold, taking things literal, not liking social situations , how they behave at work and the routine and not doing anything outside the expected. It just felt wrong to me.

[Matt (TeamRedmon) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow.

Edit: It's been about 18 hours since I finished this book and I'm still thinking about it. This book was surprising, funny, sad, shocking, and scary all in less than 150 pages. I've ordered a physical copy just to have. I can't see a world where this isn't in my top reads of the year.

[The_5ft_reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Literally found this book in the "recommended for you" bit on amazon and it caught my eye, it's a crazy weird story, a bit creepy in parts and the end is totally crazy messed up and grossly good! Will be looking to read more from this author

[your morbid obsession Minerva🖤 · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story is pretty interesting and funny, but some parts were just straight up annoying

[Ro · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise is good, interesting.

The writing unravelled after about 70%, many typos, inconsistent naming, and a rushed wrap up.

I would enjoy a full length novel written with a bit more patience and a good editor.

[Horror Bookworm Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Horror Bookworm Recommendation
Roommate by Crowley Barns / The Barns Brothers
https://horrorbookwormreviews.com/

Wade replies to an ad, “Normal Roommate Wanted.” Upon further inquiry, he meets the advertiser himself, and realizes his quirky house rules and unnatural social behavior are questionable. Wade is struck with the assumption that the guy’s brain doesn’t seem to be wired correctly. Not to mention the nagging question of, “what really happened to those previous roommates and why is there a hidden basement?”

Roommate is a tale of extreme horror told by none other than Crowley Barns of The Barns Brothers. It’s a first hand account of unsettling roomies and unstable relationships, all contributing to a creepy “edge of your seat” experience. I have to say right off the bat, if you think you know where this story is going…you don’t. Sure it has secret infrared cameras used for voyeurism, and yes it has morbid scrapbooks that hold gruesome evidence of bizarre behavior. But technology and delusional lifestyles are the true secret ingredients to this creepy cocktail of carnage.

I was in seventh horror heaven to see a new Barns Brothers release and oh boy did Mr. Crowley Barns not disappoint. Told from several contorted perspectives, Crowley broke out the freak show of flesh and bone in a most twisted way. Roommate is one of those reads that you’ll feel the need to shower afterwards or at the very least fill out an incident report. Repulsive shocks, a perfect amount of dark humor and a plot that takes the reader down a warped rabbit hole all lead to a disturbing cadence in this novella that is ideal for the extreme horror fan.

Roommate by Crowley Barns gets the five star ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Horror Bookworm Recommendation. It has many moments that were made for cauterizing and storyline twists that were made for the unraveling of the flesh. Lessons to avoid from being in a pickle…never trust someone that has customized their refrigerator with wheels and avoid people who smile a little too much.

[Ashley Hana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the start and the POV from it, but once it changed to "Wade's" POV it went a bit downhill for me. The plot didn't make a whole lot of sense to me and I just didn't really enjoy it.

[hannibal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve still had worse roommates than this.

Short, fun read. Enjoyed the writing style and overall story. Also enjoyed the jokes on behalf of the Aussies (lovingly).

[Mandy Christman · Rating 1 out of 5]

I liked the first chapter, and that was it. The concept would have been really cool if not for Wade making everything about his dick and how much he wanted to get laid despite all the women in the story thinking he was a huge perv (because he was). I fucking hated Wade. His character read like a frat boy, and the entire story was based around sex and misogyny, even when it didn't make sense.

I wish the story had continued to be told from the perspective of the roommate. I think that was a much creepier, more horrifying take than switching to a playboy monster hunter who was a "maverick that don't play by the rules" 🙄 The roommate's lack of humanity in the first chapter was chilling, and I think the reveal of him being some kind of weird alien being would have been better earned through his inner thoughts and inhuman actions as the story progressed.

Wish Goodreads let you give half stars just so I could rate this less than 1. I've read creepypasta and posts on r/nosleep that were better written than this.

[Joey Frick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stop smiling bro! Crazy little ride this was. I really enjoyed the unsettling feeling you got from the roommate and his creepy ass smile it honestly kept making me cringe thinking about it! This was fun to read definitely worth it if you want a nice little creep out session!

[Overlook Hotel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so good. Throughly enjoyed.

The twist I was NOT prepared for. The characters were funny and I had my favourites quickly.

5 stars.

[Rory Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

An unusual entry in the extreme horror canon with some very inventive gore. The aneurotypical viewpoints were particularly convincing, and splatterpunk antics aside, there are moments of disturbing depth.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had such massive potential. There were areas that really needed fleshing out and digging deeper into.
Left me full of questions!

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you had asked me my rating prior to being 75% through this book, I probably would have said 3 stars. However, the ending had me bumping that up.

We follow the dual POVs of a man looking for a roommate and then the man who answers the ad, Wade. At first, I just thought something was a little off about the man looking for a roommate. As the story progressed, I kept going, oh, oh, OH. It kept catching me off guard with the twists it took.

The whole story behind the roommate's weirdness was an interesting and unique concept to me. I kind of thought this was going to be another "oh the roommate is a serial killer" type of story, but I was mistaken. It was weird, dark, and disgusting. Just as you would expect from an extreme horror book.

The only criticism I guess I have is that Wade swore entirely too much for no reason. He was also an arrogant asshole that I hated. However, I kind of think that's what the author was trying to do.

It was a fast and interesting read that I would recommend adding to your TBR.

[Tamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love/Disgust/What Is Wrong With Me

I’ve worked my way through almost all the Barns bros books (both the individual writings and the collabs) and holy ****. Whatever imagination and tolerance you think you’ve built up with authors like Matt Shaw or Sam West or even Jack Ketchum (one of my all time favorites), you need to buck that up and get ready for the grossest, weirdest, most random stories ever written. Can you think of something gross? Got it? The BarnsBros have already taken it, mutilated it, and spewed it back out in the form of a well written and imaginatively horrific, gag inducing, vivid, bloody good time. PSA there is animal cruelty and harm to minors in almost every book. It’s almost always gratuitous. But if the Bros worried about offending their audience, they’d never produce anything, and I wouldn’t have been so disgustingly entertained this past month or so. Keep it up fellas, love you!

[Paige Ray · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story gave me whiplash!

Roommate follows Duncan as he's searching for a new roommate and in walks Wade an aussie with no boundaries. He pretty much takes claim over the room without Duncan's approval. Wade is quite the party animal and a very loud individual overall. Whenever Wade takes Duncan out to a bar and brings back two women to have fun with things take a turn. One of the girls is missing and only Duncan knows where she is. From here on the story gets even more weird.

This was a very interesting read. It's short and can be read fairly quickly and it's also on KU!

[Gunther Gundlach · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in one sitting and thought it was great. I liked how creepy this was, it had a very eerie feeling throughout. It has a little bit of comic relief which makes it easier to get through despite being extreme in some parts. I really enjoy the character building. I will be reading more of his works in the future.

I’m giving this 4/5 instead of 5/5 stars only because some of the world building didn’t quite make sense to me.

[Kevin He · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve finished this and Vacationers and honestly neither are very good. I find extreme horror literature to rely on either macabre and unique descriptions of pain (see Yellow), or an underlying sense of mystery and horror that keeps the reader engaged (see The Black Farm. Nothing Crowley has written so far has managed to do either of those things. But if you have a recommendation of his I’m happy to give it another go.

[Helin · Rating 1 out of 5]

ya herkes niye bu kitap cok iyiymis gibi davraniyo aklimi yitiricem. hayatimda bu kadar bos bu kadar anlamsiz bu kadar kotu yazilmis bu kadar afedersiniz siktiri bktan bi kitap okumadim. neydi yani rahatsiz edici desen degil bi konu hikaye var desen, yersen var. neresinden tutsam elimde kaliyo kum gibi bi kitap. Barns kardeslerin diger kitaplarini da okuyacaktim baya meshurlar diye ama luzumu yok gozlerime yazik. her seyi de basmayin artik bi anlami olsun be kitaplarin

[Aesha yepez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beginning was good at first typical psychological thriller but then as it progressed they kinda lost me when they called them “colds” I feel like they should’ve went into more detail on what they were because as I got towards the end and they began shapeshifting I was confused and utterly disappointed it was great until it wasn’t I guess I thought this was horror as well but it seemed mediocre at best in my opinion I love horror and Splatterpunk but this didn’t seem like one to me

[Books_inthe_Batcave · Rating 4 out of 5]

So happy for another Barns Brother release.
I hated the character of Wade so much. Many times was thinking ‘do you want to just ease it back a bit’. I loved the roommate character & wish we had more duel perspectives throughout the whole story to get more from his side of how he saw things happening. Loved the twisted wick ending.

[Sharon Leung · Rating 4 out of 5]

Different

I'm not 100% about this read. It was different, and had good characters, the plot was was enticing. I just found it a little slow and for an extreme horror, I struggled to find the extreme. All said and done it wasn't terrible, it was just ok an not extreme. So I'd recommend to any horror reader.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun Read

Loved the alien characters not the usual " little green men" their character development was great. Also was happy with the disrespect given to " christian ideology" my sentiments exactly. The unraveling idea was superb. The book was a fun , light-hearted poke at the visitors from outer space genre and I loved it.

[Divine irury · Rating 4 out of 5]

The obliviousness and naivety of the cold in the beginning was disturbing,going on reading the book it creeped me out that this thing was acting and speaking like a robot,to the point where i was like “is this thing human?”,fast forward,it’s not a human it’s a “COLD”.

Let me not forget the book had funny moments too,like i was genuinely laughing,and he was right about you’ll say “wtf did i just read.”

I liked the slutty side of wade and equally hated it,i started to enjoy the book more during the party,also the concept of the “COLD” and the aftermath that follows anyone being around it is interesting,the unraveling threw me off in a good way,the ending threw me off in a bad way,because why Monica?,and I wasn’t expecting it,overall enjoyed the book.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

A really good short horror story, it was gory in places and humorous in others, it left me guessing as to what direction the story was going to take, definitely worth a read.

[R Nedrick · Rating 2 out of 5]

well, it’s a book

It got dumber at the end no other way to put it. It was like you forgot to put the vulgarity in the rest of the book and did a couple paragraphs at the end. It just didn’t flow. and are they aliens? I think they’re aliens I don’t know whatever.

[Rachal Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had so much fun reading this book, very well written and refreshing. Kept my interest and curiosity. Definitely checking out more work from this author.

[Jaime Arkhangelsky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely hillarious, cannot remember the time when i laughed so much. Top-notch!