I do not understand myself sometimes, because I always love these kinds of books — 4.5 ⭐️!!
The storyline
was focusing on the development between two MCs but the focus part is on Robbie. The storyline was also beautifully written in the context “I’m gonna devour this book or rather the opposite” and yup, it was completely the opposite. Even though it was focusing on the development of finding the true self of Robie, the plot is quite mesmerizing with little historical heritage in it. The writing was also understandable and relaxing enough to read. However, because this one was claimed as Historical, it was expected that few choices of words were unfamiliar to my own terms. Also, inside the storyline, several political terms and issues were written well when it comes to Anton as well as a piece of new knowledge for myself. The story of how Robbie decided on what he had purposed in his life was quite a breakthrough to my heart because he was trying to find his true self with his own terms. Then, it is also proof to every reader that not many things in life have butterflies and rainbows, the path is not always easy and whatever happens, the choice in this life is yours because this is your life. It was beautiful and the choice he took for the sake of their love, hold me —
wait, is this the ending????? I want more!!
The Characters.
Every character in this book has their own traits and the beautiful things about these characters in this book were how they dealt with their own past and moved on. Some of them probably have some grudge but they come eventually to terms with moving on. Also, from the moment the emotion gathered between Robbie and Anton, how they express their own characteristic, how society sees them, what struggles they have to bear the love they have, and how they reconciled and finally choose the path they think it would be best for them both are unique. I think I fell in love again.
The Issue and History
in this book is too damn much to bear, especially in that certain era. It took long enough to figure out one by one what this book can express at that specific time with the longing for love and home our two MCs has. I was definitely surprised that this book has these kinds of traits that you want to keep continue reading because of the unique traits between one artist and one unknown speaker in England. The historical traits mostly focus on England but yeah, it was mentioned several time in the storyline. Explicitly.
➊ The Stereotype, many stereotypes things were pointed out in this book, those are:
¹ Drawing is for girls, who made that kind of stereotype anyway, I wonder? I mean artist was born as artists in their own blood regardless of what gender they are. This one was truly heartbreaking for Robbie because he was a good artist on his own term and when I know the background story he had while he was living with his own uncle, I want to smash someone’s head.
² Priest must please everyone in his parish, I get that this term still has some stereotype in it because a priest is known or shown as the bridge between humans and God. However, are those humans also forget that “this priest” is also a human being?
³ Loving the same gender. In that certain era, it was a disgrace and a shame to the core, because homo-phobic is still spread everywhere and it is also categorized as a sin, even. They also mentioned that in that specific era, the Gays will be locked up in prison and the judges and people surrounding them will beat them or rather they’ll be killed. It was horrible and cruel even though we know that certain era was not as good as nowadays. However, we cannot say that nowadays is also a hell lot better for LGBTQ+ people.
➋ The Child is never a burden. These families between Robbie and Anton, why do they always feel like the children are always a burden to them? Not saying about Robbie’s parents but his other relatives, they blame him because he was like ruining his mother's life by his birth. Then this is about Anton as well, they both were broken people with the same but different backgrounds. Even in that certain era, people still have these thoughts, how about people nowadays? — its getting worse
➌ The fatherly love, this one was touched my heart because Robbie found this love he never had from the unexpected person, the priest. They do not develop some romantic relationship, but rather the relationship that touched my heart the most. I am just in love with these two relationships because it is pretty heartwarming
➍ Coping mechanism. People have their own on applying this kind of mechanism in their life. In this case, Robbie is by needing a kinship from the other party. It was pretty heartbroken seeing how Robbie coping with this one while he still guessing his own self.
➎ The Feeling of Home. This book showed that a home is a person indeed.
➏ The different longing being The Woman. I mean this was focusing on Robbie because the longing he was feeling is about being the woman in the relationship. Based on how his past was written and what happened with his love throughout the story, no wonder he has this specific thought.
➐ Don’t Trust too much. Society at that specific time has some issues with putting too much trust in people and as a result, it caused a thorn between them. Also, it might as well be the cause of why people nowadays always take precautions towards each other. It must have some connection somehow lol
I always thought that this book is kind of a book written by Anton showing his love and how Robbie was in their life. Also, when Mr. Donovan mentioned that “the young man questions” Robbie, I was never had thought of that before but he was open up my eyes and wondering maybe Anton did that because of this.
Robbies characteristic in this book was written too damn well. I shed my tears several time when it comes to him. He was just a broken child ffs. Oh, I forgot to mention, Robbie as an artist is supposed to be known, he was the one who has open up my eyes that this portrait painter has a way with words and the world needs to learn from him when it comes to the time he painted.
Overall,
this book has its own way to my heart and the ending was something else. I do need more. I wasn’t expecting much from this book and to be honest, got bored in the middle of it. But when you keep reading it, they have some special bond for the heart of longing for home and love. The supporting characters even have their own special traits in my heart. This book was a dam well written and every letter inside this book has a special meaning. Also, the writing is a chef kiss indeed. I intend to look forward to her work in the future!
Thank you for Netgalley giving me the privilege to read the book before publication day