Tamarind Mem

by Anita Rau Badami

Having moved to Canada from India, Kamini tries to make sense of the eccentric family she has left behind. Recounting the story of her mother's life, Kamini reveals the desires, secrets and fears that link different generations, exploring the bond between mothers and daughters.

Genres: Fiction, India, Canada, Historical Fiction, Literary Fiction, Asia, Adult Fiction

Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Living in Canada since 1991.

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up this book because I wanted a rich way of exploring parent-child relationships in a South Asian context. It’s well-written, I guess, and not without some worthwhile reflections. But you have to dig very, very deep, past a lot of ugliness in traditional Indian culture, to find them. And I couldn’t be arsed to do so.

So to me, the book is needlessly depressing and contains no positive messages. It’s more along the lines of: “Hey, life may suck and be loveless and suffocating for women, but at least you can write beautifully about the sadness that comes with it, intermingled with the smell of jasmines.” Nope. Not my thing.

A book in the same genre that fared much better for me was A Cycle of the Moon. It’s more about familial relationships than parent-child ones, and it conveys very worthwhile messages in an understated way without taking itself too seriously. What I loved about that book (especially now that I’m comparing it to Tamarind Mem) is that it is so unapologetic and doesn’t stumble over itself trying to explain the norms to a non-Indian. It’s a refreshing change from the popular “Innocent Indian women as helpless victims” narrative.

[Tricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

There doesn't always need a lot to be happening in a book to enjoy it. This was the case with Tamarind Woman. The language spoke for itself and I could smell the spices as I read.
A book of two halves from different points of view.
I would have loved an Indian dictionary by the side of me to translate words. Could have looked at internet on my phone but I don't like technology as I'm immersed in a book. What a strange one I am! 😜

[Bonnie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book as I am very fond of Indian literature. It was very well written. Although, I didn't like a few things. I didn't like that there were no chapters. There were only 2 sections and I was thrilled when I got to the second part! The book dragged on for me and it took me quite awhile to finish it. It wasn't one that pulled me in.

[Nalini · Rating 3 out of 5]

A 3.5 really. The first half of the book was a tedious read because it was from a child's perspective and as such was daunting. However, it picked up its pace when the Memsahib started her tale.

I related better to her experiences, her emotions because I have always wondered about arranged marriages and the underlying effects, which for me in this book, some light was shed.

Not a bad read.

[Anushree · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one's a cacophony of sharp, bright, brittle and poignant recollection from a daughter (Kamini) and mother (Saroja) of their family life in India's railway colonies. At once intense, intimate, vulnerable and vibrant, Kamini's version and Saroja version of the same 'railway' life add flavour and depth to the story. The strength of this book is rich, lush scene-setting; you can taste the sourness in the air and feel the dread of relocating at transfer order. The characters have been fleshed out well too, their mannerism and eccentricities make them unforgettable be it quirky Lindah ayah or reticent, self-contained Dadda, Kamini's father or the minor characters who share the compartment with Saroja on her solo trip. What the book glaringly lacks is a plot! It stretches on like an elastic dough, with no bone to let it hold shape. Some stretches felt unbearably tedious but the scene-setting was so enthralling, I could go on and on until the last page. A delightful read if a strained mother-daughter relationship intrigues you. You may see parallels with Amy Tan's work. Overall, a one-time enjoyable read, not breezy though!

[Ian Gillies · Rating 3 out of 5]

Is this a novel or is it autobiography? If the former, Anita Rau Badami is a writer who can create a sharp sense of personal perspective with no detectable mis-steps in time, place or emotional shading. The mother-daughter relationship rang true for me even though I am not in a position to truly understand it in all its nuance. The mother is difficult, unfulfilled, resentful and sharply defined by the roles imposed on her. The daughter is perceptive, caring and strong enough to break free, with some personal struggle, from the expectations of family and community. There were some parallels between the life experience of the mother and my own mother in the sense they were women who pushed back and flared up emotionally, married to men who did not fulfill their needs and lived with a great deal of resentment. I liked the structure of the book, the first part from the viewpoint of the daughter, the second part from the viewpoint of the mother. The first part raised questions that were answered in the second part - a clever way to set up plot tension and reader interest.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the story about family life on the Indian railway, but I had a few issues with the story. It took me a while to realize that the novel was chronological with breaks for the narrator's present interactions with other characters. I also missed the chapters, but that was for my own personal convenience to know when to take a break. Badami offers two sections - one narrated from Kamani's perspective and another from Saroja. I wish she also offered one from Roopa. I would have liked to learn what her experiences were when observing their mother. Finally, other readers pointed out the struggle with the Indian terms. As an Indian-American, I didn't have great difficulty with the Hindi words and phrases, but there were some other words that were completely new, and I was at a loss at what the writer was trying to relate. A glossary would be helpful for all non-English terms.

[Darla · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just couldn't get through it... Badami didn't do a good job at explaining terms specific to Hindi, and left the reader to figure out things that were not always easily discernible via context.

[Saleh MoonWalker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Onvan : Tamarind Woman - Nevisande : Anita Rau Badami - ISBN : 747560218 - ISBN13 : 9780747560210 - Dar 272 Safhe - Saal e Chap : 1997

[Lakshmi Mohan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am obsessed with Indian authors. The book was interesting, maybe not an unputdownable one(I couldn't find any other word that conveys the feeling), but worth giving a shot. It is a cliched plot but that shouldn't stop you from picking it up and reading till the end. There wasn't an element of surprise or novelty, only familiarity. That made it easier to read. Like comfort food, or clothing.
Indian women always have an air of mystery around them. I do not know if the perception of Westerners is different, but I would say most Indian women carry some secrets with them to their grave #randomthoughts.

[fabiha ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3/5 stars for the first half, 4 stars towards the end :)

[Jamila]

Exactly my kind of book! Love reading about women from cultures so different from my own and the intricacies of their familial relationships to each other. I really loved that we saw Kamini's view of her mother for the first half of the book, and then spend the second half of the book with her mother rewriting/reviewing the same history through different eyes. Sooo so so good.

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

i liked it a lot, but i am very partial to indian authors, so i wouldn't recommend it to many people.

[Mehreen Shaikh · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/4 actually,
I enjoyed this more than I anticipated. I was expecting a cliched Indian family story but there so much more depth here.
Was there a real story though? No. and I'm fine with that.
I much prefer reading realistic mother-daughter relationships that the usual, syrupy hallmark greeting 'happy mother's day' stuff.

[Carolyn Gerk · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book in a used book store and grabbed it having previously read and enjoyed Anita Rau Badmi's Can You Hear the Nightbird Call? Sadly this story didn't not live up to my expectations. Following an Indian mother and daughter and telling each woman's story, Tamarind Mem fell really short. I felt little to no connection with any of the characters and, truthfully, found them all to grow a bit wearing after time. There wasn't one character with whom I felt any connection nor did I feel any desire to pick to novel up each time, but I gave myself a little pep talk and plodded through. The novel didn't really redeem itself, and I imagine that it won't take me long to have forgotten everything I've just read. Unfortunately lacklustre, Tamarind Mem is a swing and a miss from an author I know to be talented. The only reason this forgettable novel gets two stars instead of one, is that every now and then, a hint of the author's poetic skill with words would poke through with a glittering phrase or delicate description. These would all too suddenly be swept away by a clunky tale full of bland or distasteful players and a disjointed series of events.

[Patty · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to admit that one of the reasons I started reading this book was because it has the word tamarind on its title. I love tamarind, tamarind juice, tamarind candy or that tamarind syrup that they put on top of shaved ice. But besides that, I also wanted to read this book because it talks about India, and I love books about India. Also because it talks about mothers and daughters and that's a topic I care about.

I ended up with mixed feelings about this book. While I did learn things about India by reading it and also got to explore a mother-daughter relationship, at the end this wasn't enough to make the book captivating. I got so bored while reading the first part and felt like the story was going nowhere. The second part, the one that was narrated by the mother, I did like that part but there was too much boredom before it to make it worthwhile.

[Divya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked what Tamarind Woman had to say. Hers wasn't an exceptional life as most lives tend to be. The first half is narrated by her daughter and the second half by the Tamarind Woman herself. There aren't any facts in this world. Just emotions built on perceptions. The book ends with the tamarind woman, now old, taking a tour on Indian trains, alone. The daughters abroad are worried that their mother may hurt herself or die. They are convinced that she has gone senile. But the Tamarind Woman is now just living for herself. She knows that her children think she is turning crazy. But she wants to explore cities. She is living how she wants to, without explanations or expectations.

[Rose Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Tamarind Woman" is the story of two generations of Indian women, a mother and daughter, as they work through their memories and their family history.

Filled with wonderful descriptions of growing up in India, Badami paints a careful picture of the differences in how both women saw the man of the house throughout the years. I loved how the twists and turns within the narrative aren't solely in the facts of the story, but also in how each character perceives the others.

Illuminating and well-written, "Tamarind Woman" is a lovely read that will leave you wanting to call your mother, but that may not stay with you for long after you've hung up the phone.

[Doriana Bisegna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I know that Anita Rau Badami is a great writer! This book however didn't grab me and didn't hold my attention! Even though the premise of the story was wonderful (an Indian daughter's story and then her Mother's story) the characters weren't rich enough for my liking. They started to grate on my nerves and that is not a good thing! I must admit I thought of abandoning this book halfway through but trudged on like the faithful bibliophile that I am. I still look forward to reading The Hero's Walk and Tell It To The Trees. Now those I have heard are very good!

[Rosemary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I see the South Asian community in Canada and know so little about the people. This is a poetically-written book about Indian women--mother and daughter and women of the household. An insight into an arranged marriage and the limitations on women in other parts of the world.
The daughter decides to go to a university as far away from Madras as possible."Calgary!" exclaims the mother. "Canada, Canada and where is that place? In the North Pole, that's where," and Canadians will read this and laugh. Better for all Canadian women to know from whence other women came.

[Janaia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and read it twice! Very good story telling. Opened my eyes to some of the culture of India. After I read it the first time I went straight to an Indian resturant to immerse myself into the spices of India and searched for more books like it. The book is divided into two parts. The daughter's story and then the Mother's. Loved it, loved it, loved it!

[Tia Raina · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good one time read - it was 75% there. Coil have done with a little bit more.

[Elaine B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beautifully crafted sentences that make characters come alive. Sweet and often lightly humorous details run threads through the novel that shines a light on the experience of a family in the railway lifestyle. I loved the writing and character development but this book lacked drama or a story. The book is divided in half, the first the daughter's story and the second half, the mother's. The mother's version was more eventful and compelling, which the author reveals in the post-novel notes was the real story she wanted to write about an "angry woman" and that the daughter's story was an afterthpught. It reads that way. I didn't seem to care enough about the characters and didn't perceive them to be particularly changed by the end of the story. The mother, the tamarind woman, didn't show enough vulnerability or tenderness to feel much empathy for her. During her late in life travel with friends she seemed more tired and apathetic than at peace. Admittedly I skimmed through parts of it as the pages seem to drag on. In summary I found it easy to pick up and enjoy the quotidien dialogue of the characters but also easy to put down, leaving me wanting more of a juicy plotline.

[Kathie Kuehl · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book (both the story and the writing style). It is set in India and is the story of daughter Kamini and her mother Sarojo. Both characters tell their individual life story. The book has 2 sections; one from the daughter’s perspective and the other from the mother’s. Interspersed is the narrator’s present day reflections. The title of the book refers to the mother, Sarojo who is often described as being like a tamarind-bitter. A good insight into life in India, especially what being in an arranged marriage can be like for the woman. (For Sarojo it was a very lonely and unfulfilling relationship.) I did feel happiness for Sarojo at the end of the book as she ventured out on her own; taking a train alone through India, finally feeling free of a life of doing her duty and meeting the expectations/demands of her husband and dsughters. (Good for her!!) Note: the book did not have chapters; only the 2 sections; I would definitely have preferred chapters for convenience.

[Trish Yap · Rating 5 out of 5]

This went straight to my "favorites" shelf! What I liked about this story is how it explored parent-child relationship throughout generations. Reading from Saroja's perspective allowed me to see a mother as an individual being who has her own dreams, feelings and beliefs apart from those for her children. It's an eye opener for the numerous sacrifices that women make for her family. I also loved reading this book because I was able to take a glimpse of the life and culture of Indian women and their struggles as women in such a patriarchal society. It made me think of how women all over the world experience the same things, although in varying degrees, no matter where they're from.

Over all, I would definitely read this again and recommend it to many of my friends. We could all learn something from this book.

[Diana Sandberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Badami is a gifted writer. I am fascinated at the way she manages to portray life in a distant culture that is simultaneously utterly exotic and somehow quite recognizable. None of these people behaves like anyone in my life, and certainly the domestic settings are nothing like my world. And yet, I was instantly drawn into this story, and the characters' familiarity with their surroundings let me slip easily into their skins and feel their reality. And, whaddya know, the deepest parts of their reality, the fears, joys, and disappointments, are entirely relatable. This, in my opinion, is what art is for, letting us out of our personal solipsism to touch each other.

And, in case that sounds like art as castor oil, rest assured that the story accomplishes this by being highly entertaining.

[LibraryCin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This follows Kamini (first half) and her mother Saroja (second half) through their lives (primarily) in India. At the start of the book, we know that Kaamini is now in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. As she grew up, she wanted to get away from her mother, but she still tries to keep in touch with her, though her mother still often tends to snap at her now-adult daughter.

This is pretty slow. There are a lot of characters and it took a while to figure out who was who (in the first half), then we had to start over with many of them, as we backed up to Saroja’s life to learn the new characters in her life from when she was younger, as well. I’m rating it ok, but I liked this author’s other books (that I’ve read) better.

[John Benson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a story told in two parts. The first part is told from the perspective of the daughter, Kamini, who has fled her Indian home with her mother to Canada where she lives alone, but is in frequent contact with her mother, Saroja. Saroja, tells her story in the second half. Saroja has always had a sharp tongue and this is what led Kamini to flee, but in the second half, Saroja shares her side of the story. Kamini's part of the book in the first half is quite confusing, but Saroja's story is much easier to follow. Some of the parts overlap but from very different perspectives. It is a fairly sad story as neither character finds much fulfillment in their lives as a mother in a loveless marriage, and a daughter who hides away a long way from her family.

[Aisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

such a fantastic read. really got me thinking about my relationship with my mother and my childhood and everything that happened from a more scrutinous lens. the indianness of the book leaps out of the pages for me and i can really imagine everything taking place. the writing style was a breeze and everything read so easily, but the way that the author fixated on certain sections was just the best. we could see how much thought was really in the book. i think it was unputdownable, shoved me into a whole other era with its own cast of characters. this book has no chapters just 2 parts - 1 from the daughter kamini's pov and one from the mother saroja's pov. brilliant read.