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Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home
In a series of genre-blending essays, Entwined tells the story of Alex Alberto’s decade-long polyamorous journey towards a new kind of family.
In these essays, Alex attempts to build two committed relationships at once when no one involved has done this before; develops a powerful bond with the woman their partner loves; sits through a tense Thanksgiving Dinner with religious in-laws; questions the need for rules and hierarchy in their relationships; experiences the intensity of a triad; wrestles with the fragility baked into the nuclear family after their father’s stroke; and explores their queerness and gender identity in English, in New York, and struggles to reconcile their newfound self in their native French-Canadian language and culture.
Entwined explores the fuzzy lines between friendship, romance, and family with various essay forms, including a play, an advice column, and a love letter. Yes, there are challenges, but rather than wallowing in the throes of jealousy, this collection celebrates the hard work of creating a love life that resists conventional narratives.
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WHAT EARLY READERS SAY ABOUT ENTWINED:
"Entwined is a goddamn bible for poly-curious people."
—Chloe Caldwell (she/her), 37, questioning
"For Alex, polyamory is about creating a family. By getting to know them and their reality you gain entry to a world that might otherwise seem intimidating."
—Sofia M. (she/her), 64, mother of a polyamorous person
"Entwined is about the desire to create a life outside of capitalism, heteronormativity, and the patriarchy."
—Samantha Paige Rosen (she/her), 33, queer and monogamous
"Entwined had me captivated from start to finish. It will no doubt influence my approach to romance and family."
—Rio C. (she/her), 21, queer, trans, and curious about polyamory
"The variety in content and structure makes it a quick read. Entwined deepened my understanding of polyamory’s possibilities; it’s not all swinging and sex parties."
—Melissa Gopp-Warner (she/her), 43, queer/questioning and monogamous
"I laughed, cried, and felt my heart fill the fuck up."
— Dan D. (they), 36, queer and newly navigating non-monogamy within a lifelong partnership.
In these essays, Alex attempts to build two committed relationships at once when no one involved has done this before; develops a powerful bond with the woman their partner loves; sits through a tense Thanksgiving Dinner with religious in-laws; questions the need for rules and hierarchy in their relationships; experiences the intensity of a triad; wrestles with the fragility baked into the nuclear family after their father’s stroke; and explores their queerness and gender identity in English, in New York, and struggles to reconcile their newfound self in their native French-Canadian language and culture.
Entwined explores the fuzzy lines between friendship, romance, and family with various essay forms, including a play, an advice column, and a love letter. Yes, there are challenges, but rather than wallowing in the throes of jealousy, this collection celebrates the hard work of creating a love life that resists conventional narratives.
--------
WHAT EARLY READERS SAY ABOUT ENTWINED:
"Entwined is a goddamn bible for poly-curious people."
—Chloe Caldwell (she/her), 37, questioning
"For Alex, polyamory is about creating a family. By getting to know them and their reality you gain entry to a world that might otherwise seem intimidating."
—Sofia M. (she/her), 64, mother of a polyamorous person
"Entwined is about the desire to create a life outside of capitalism, heteronormativity, and the patriarchy."
—Samantha Paige Rosen (she/her), 33, queer and monogamous
"Entwined had me captivated from start to finish. It will no doubt influence my approach to romance and family."
—Rio C. (she/her), 21, queer, trans, and curious about polyamory
"The variety in content and structure makes it a quick read. Entwined deepened my understanding of polyamory’s possibilities; it’s not all swinging and sex parties."
—Melissa Gopp-Warner (she/her), 43, queer/questioning and monogamous
"I laughed, cried, and felt my heart fill the fuck up."
— Dan D. (they), 36, queer and newly navigating non-monogamy within a lifelong partnership.
280 pages, Paperback
First published February 19, 2024
46 people are currently reading
1275 people want to read
About the author
Alex Alberto
2 books28 followersAlex is a queer and polyamorous storyteller and educator. They grew up in Montreal and currently live in upstate New York, where they’re building a farm and retreat program. Their essays have been published in Huffington Post, Write or Die Magazine, and elsewhere, and their plays have been featured at Dixon Place and Theatre Row in New York City.
Alex’s genre-blending memoir, titled Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home, will be published by Quilted Press in February 2024.
You can connect with Alex on Instagram and TikTok @thatalexalberto, and learn more about their work at alexalberto.com.
Alex’s genre-blending memoir, titled Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home, will be published by Quilted Press in February 2024.
You can connect with Alex on Instagram and TikTok @thatalexalberto, and learn more about their work at alexalberto.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 100 reviews
January 30, 2024
Delightful. Creative, introspective, and had a slow warmness that kept revealing little special bits of personality and tenderness
October 10, 2024
I don’t want to make my review longer than Alex Alberto’s book itself, especially when most of my thoughts have been more skillfully described in The Polycrisis by Brandy Jensen. Jensen opens her Yale Review article by noting that “Too often these days I find myself in the position of defending someone I think is annoying from someone I know is dangerous.” Read that, and you’ll fully understand how grating these smug polymemoirs can be.
There’s nothing particularly awful about this book, it’s just not remarkable. Entwined is prone to rambling, devoid of many true insights, and chock full of deeply uninteresting sex scenes. I literally started listening to the audiobook on 3x speed just so I could get through it. To be fair, I did learn some things during my breeze-through listen. Alberto has useful thoughts on gendered linguistic differences, and how French is being adapted to be more gender-neutral. I also appreciated their documentation of how challenging it can be to build strong relationships as an asexual or otherwise low-sex person. Everything else, unfortunately?!? They could’ve kept it.
Celebrating red flags, we hate to see it!
Entwined is the exact sort of polyamory fad memoir ENM readers have been waiting for. Many of these polyreaders were very disappointed with Open by Rachel Krantz, which seems to have committed the grave sin of being honest about how terrible many polyamorous relationships are. Krantz’s hate reviewers claim her relationship problems are not actually *about* polyamory, but about abuse—implying that sEaSoNeD polyamorists in rEaL ENM relationships don’t have those sorts of problems. Alberto’s memoir reveals this fallacy: it celebrates a decade-long polyamorous relationship that shouldn’t have made it past a month.
Alberto doesn’t seem to realize that their becoming a "seasoned" polyamorist is simply an example of how human beings can become comfortable with VERY BAD CHOICES. It actually isn’t a sign of progress that they have “made it work” in an age-gap relationship with a man who is shown to be controlling, hypocritical, and inconsiderate. At one point, this man and Alex had a threesome with ALEX’S CHILDHOOD FRIEND, and when Alex was upset about the dynamic, neither the friend nor the husband were courteous enough to check on them. That’s a terrible circle of people you have around you, and that shouldn’t be celebrated just because it’s an entwined, long-lasting, polyamorous circle.
This all goes back to how much people try to downplay abusive dynamics in polyamory. In an era of increasing privation and scarcity, it is becoming more likely that people will “put up with” less-than-ideal relationship dynamics to remain housed, fed, or otherwise stable. I can’t say how many times I’ve heard people joke about how monogamy is no longer an option in this economy, without realizing that that’s actually terrifying and literally what happened with that one household in Parable of the Sower, everyone’s alleged favorite book about the signs of the times! This context is why I struggle with how Alberto praises uneven power dynamics in ENM relationships as “growing pains” towards enlightenment.
I stumbled across a July 2024 post on Alex’s Instagram that features a new metamour of theirs, who (like the metas from the book) seems to be at least 15 years younger than their husband. Even more concerning, this metamour is MOVING INTO ALEX AND DON’S FARMHOUSE IN THE CATSKILLS WITH HER TWO KIDS. According to the post, Don and the young lady have been dating for a single year, and according to the book, Alex and Don are the only people who own this house that the new partner will now be living in as long as it suits the married couple.
Like y’all, it’s getting bleak out here!! There’s a heartbreaking amount of financial abuse, desperation, and power imbalances undergirding today’s polyamorous relationships, and very few of these fad memoirs are talking about it. People are polyamorous because they’re housing insecure, underpaid, and increasingly disabled. We’re still relying on romance to meet all/most of our needs, we’re just doing it with more people.
"What we mean by community is our yearning for communism"
This is a quote from M.E. O'Brien, the co-author of one of my favorite reads of 2024, Everything for Everyone: An Oral History of the New York Commune, 2052–2072. It gets to the heart of the missing piece of Entwined, and what Alberto misunderstands or misinterprets about the topics they are discussing: they cannot be separated from our economic conditions. If you read this book, you’d find no mention of New York City’s housing crisis, or the health and elder care crises, all of which are manifestations of late-stage capitalism. Of course, these issues are lurking all around Alberto’s life situations—in their metamours’ apartment hunts, in their father’s end-of-life care, and in their constant search for “community” through polyamory.
Throughout Entwined, Alex is constantly falling in love with their metamours or friends, and dreaming of their shared lives together, only to realize these people aren’t interested in the same sort of close-knit platonic connections. This is a heartbreaking part of life that is beautifully captured in piece Sherronda J. Brown’s 2022 piece, Grieving platonic love in a romance-driven world.) Both Brown’s work and O’Brien’s quote show that it’s not a coincidence that so many of us are deeply lonely in this world, even we are constantly “entwined” with others. The loneliness persists because the solution for these life troubles is not contorting one’s self into “compersion” or becoming complacent in manipulative age-gap relationships with awful white men. Someone PLEASE tell Alex and other smug polyamorists this, so I can stop reading these memoirs every 6 months!
Final Thoughts and/or Reflections
Like me, you’ll probably still read this book!! As a polyreader and devoted hate reviewer, I cannot seem to look away from these train-wreck situations. I imagine they’ll continue to be written, so I hope that they at least become a bit less delusional. To end my review, I will return to Brandy Jensen’s review of another polymemoir, as it actually fits with my criticisms of Entwined: “ [Alberto] offers a kind of unearned self-aggrandizement—learn from my journey, [they] seem to say, despite the fact that I’ve failed to learn anything important...” Let’s hope, for all us devoted polyreaders, that some of these memoirists start gleaning something important from their experiences. Until then, I’ll stay tuned for the next hateread!
There’s nothing particularly awful about this book, it’s just not remarkable. Entwined is prone to rambling, devoid of many true insights, and chock full of deeply uninteresting sex scenes. I literally started listening to the audiobook on 3x speed just so I could get through it. To be fair, I did learn some things during my breeze-through listen. Alberto has useful thoughts on gendered linguistic differences, and how French is being adapted to be more gender-neutral. I also appreciated their documentation of how challenging it can be to build strong relationships as an asexual or otherwise low-sex person. Everything else, unfortunately?!? They could’ve kept it.
Celebrating red flags, we hate to see it!
Entwined is the exact sort of polyamory fad memoir ENM readers have been waiting for. Many of these polyreaders were very disappointed with Open by Rachel Krantz, which seems to have committed the grave sin of being honest about how terrible many polyamorous relationships are. Krantz’s hate reviewers claim her relationship problems are not actually *about* polyamory, but about abuse—implying that sEaSoNeD polyamorists in rEaL ENM relationships don’t have those sorts of problems. Alberto’s memoir reveals this fallacy: it celebrates a decade-long polyamorous relationship that shouldn’t have made it past a month.
Alberto doesn’t seem to realize that their becoming a "seasoned" polyamorist is simply an example of how human beings can become comfortable with VERY BAD CHOICES. It actually isn’t a sign of progress that they have “made it work” in an age-gap relationship with a man who is shown to be controlling, hypocritical, and inconsiderate. At one point, this man and Alex had a threesome with ALEX’S CHILDHOOD FRIEND, and when Alex was upset about the dynamic, neither the friend nor the husband were courteous enough to check on them. That’s a terrible circle of people you have around you, and that shouldn’t be celebrated just because it’s an entwined, long-lasting, polyamorous circle.
This all goes back to how much people try to downplay abusive dynamics in polyamory. In an era of increasing privation and scarcity, it is becoming more likely that people will “put up with” less-than-ideal relationship dynamics to remain housed, fed, or otherwise stable. I can’t say how many times I’ve heard people joke about how monogamy is no longer an option in this economy, without realizing that that’s actually terrifying and literally what happened with that one household in Parable of the Sower, everyone’s alleged favorite book about the signs of the times! This context is why I struggle with how Alberto praises uneven power dynamics in ENM relationships as “growing pains” towards enlightenment.
I stumbled across a July 2024 post on Alex’s Instagram that features a new metamour of theirs, who (like the metas from the book) seems to be at least 15 years younger than their husband. Even more concerning, this metamour is MOVING INTO ALEX AND DON’S FARMHOUSE IN THE CATSKILLS WITH HER TWO KIDS. According to the post, Don and the young lady have been dating for a single year, and according to the book, Alex and Don are the only people who own this house that the new partner will now be living in as long as it suits the married couple.
Like y’all, it’s getting bleak out here!! There’s a heartbreaking amount of financial abuse, desperation, and power imbalances undergirding today’s polyamorous relationships, and very few of these fad memoirs are talking about it. People are polyamorous because they’re housing insecure, underpaid, and increasingly disabled. We’re still relying on romance to meet all/most of our needs, we’re just doing it with more people.
"What we mean by community is our yearning for communism"
This is a quote from M.E. O'Brien, the co-author of one of my favorite reads of 2024, Everything for Everyone: An Oral History of the New York Commune, 2052–2072. It gets to the heart of the missing piece of Entwined, and what Alberto misunderstands or misinterprets about the topics they are discussing: they cannot be separated from our economic conditions. If you read this book, you’d find no mention of New York City’s housing crisis, or the health and elder care crises, all of which are manifestations of late-stage capitalism. Of course, these issues are lurking all around Alberto’s life situations—in their metamours’ apartment hunts, in their father’s end-of-life care, and in their constant search for “community” through polyamory.
Throughout Entwined, Alex is constantly falling in love with their metamours or friends, and dreaming of their shared lives together, only to realize these people aren’t interested in the same sort of close-knit platonic connections. This is a heartbreaking part of life that is beautifully captured in piece Sherronda J. Brown’s 2022 piece, Grieving platonic love in a romance-driven world.) Both Brown’s work and O’Brien’s quote show that it’s not a coincidence that so many of us are deeply lonely in this world, even we are constantly “entwined” with others. The loneliness persists because the solution for these life troubles is not contorting one’s self into “compersion” or becoming complacent in manipulative age-gap relationships with awful white men. Someone PLEASE tell Alex and other smug polyamorists this, so I can stop reading these memoirs every 6 months!
Final Thoughts and/or Reflections
Like me, you’ll probably still read this book!! As a polyreader and devoted hate reviewer, I cannot seem to look away from these train-wreck situations. I imagine they’ll continue to be written, so I hope that they at least become a bit less delusional. To end my review, I will return to Brandy Jensen’s review of another polymemoir, as it actually fits with my criticisms of Entwined: “ [Alberto] offers a kind of unearned self-aggrandizement—learn from my journey, [they] seem to say, despite the fact that I’ve failed to learn anything important...” Let’s hope, for all us devoted polyreaders, that some of these memoirists start gleaning something important from their experiences. Until then, I’ll stay tuned for the next hateread!
February 11, 2024
As someone who has been indoctrinated since birth into monogamy, I could never really understand being with more than one partner at a time. As someone with abandonment issues, crippling anxiety and relationship trauma from the past, most of the tenets of polyamory seemed always painful. Not to forget how polyamory is used as a convenient excuse to avoid commitment by most folks around or get themselves threesomes.
Alex Alberto's (@thatalexalberto ) book, therefore, is my first ever book for understanding and familiarizing myself with polyamory. And it was absolutely unputdownable.
I'm in awe of Alex's clarity of thought, the ability to articulate those with such lucidity, their charming wit, and disarmingly unflinching candour, even as they navigate through their vulnerabilities and muddled emotions.
The book is a compilation of Alex's essays about their own journey in polyamory, the challenges they faced, the love and positives they experienced, the community they built. The book doesn't follow a timeline, but it follows themes like coming out, polyamory in public places and govt organizations, breakups, attractions, tricky situations etc. Alex also talks honestly about the power of English language in their journey, and about how heritage, culture and the requirement for mother tongues to be inclusive, play such a definitive role in identities.
When Alex narrates the episodes with their partner's parents, one feels the intensity and tension rise upto one's throat. I had to keep the book aside for a while before picking it back up. They make an interesting choice of not capitalizing the Ms and Ps of the words maman and papa for their own parents. I have always seen them written in capital. And that's why it feels intentional. They talk in detail about how difficult it's been for them to make friendships because of their queerness.
They also reimagine popular monogamous movies as polyamorous. It is a side observation that it looks like we root more for only those that have sufficient pain and suffering, and somehow fail to imagine or probably even want to see a world where all parties are truly happy and content.
I've learnt so many new words, I am super grateful for that. Metamour, compersion, polycule, Zuntie. Eye-opening.
I also learnt that there are certain things that enable a successful polyamorous lifestyle. It is way more difficult than monogamous relationships. Monogamous relationships are ok if they're working for you, but most times folks become lazy and bored in monogamy at some point (honestly I've seen way too many extremely problematic monogamous relationships). They start looking for the zing outside, which is a sure shot formula for the relationship to crumble. Alex, therefore, presents a beautiful thought. They implore us to ask ourselves if it's fair to put all the pressures of a good relationship on one single person or to take all that pressure on us. Would this not cause resentment eventually?
Having said, Alex also draws from their own experiences some clear facts that have worked for them.
Knowing yourself well (and sometimes one doesn't know what one wants until one has had to face something one doesn't want), having enough earning to navigate two homes or different cities / states in order to be able to be present for partners, having enough words to have enough conversations about your desires and needs and wishes (this requires immense reading and researching), finding folks with whom you can freely navigate through even the bitter emotions.
It is a bit scary and plenty complicated and not many are brave enough to embark on such a journey. If done properly though, it looks like a great response to capitalism's obsession with individualism.
I am going to explore books on polyamory to learn more - some of them Alex speaks about and some more. I am incredibly thankful to Alex for writing this and would definitely look forward to reading more of them.
Alex Alberto's (@thatalexalberto ) book, therefore, is my first ever book for understanding and familiarizing myself with polyamory. And it was absolutely unputdownable.
I'm in awe of Alex's clarity of thought, the ability to articulate those with such lucidity, their charming wit, and disarmingly unflinching candour, even as they navigate through their vulnerabilities and muddled emotions.
The book is a compilation of Alex's essays about their own journey in polyamory, the challenges they faced, the love and positives they experienced, the community they built. The book doesn't follow a timeline, but it follows themes like coming out, polyamory in public places and govt organizations, breakups, attractions, tricky situations etc. Alex also talks honestly about the power of English language in their journey, and about how heritage, culture and the requirement for mother tongues to be inclusive, play such a definitive role in identities.
When Alex narrates the episodes with their partner's parents, one feels the intensity and tension rise upto one's throat. I had to keep the book aside for a while before picking it back up. They make an interesting choice of not capitalizing the Ms and Ps of the words maman and papa for their own parents. I have always seen them written in capital. And that's why it feels intentional. They talk in detail about how difficult it's been for them to make friendships because of their queerness.
They also reimagine popular monogamous movies as polyamorous. It is a side observation that it looks like we root more for only those that have sufficient pain and suffering, and somehow fail to imagine or probably even want to see a world where all parties are truly happy and content.
I've learnt so many new words, I am super grateful for that. Metamour, compersion, polycule, Zuntie. Eye-opening.
I also learnt that there are certain things that enable a successful polyamorous lifestyle. It is way more difficult than monogamous relationships. Monogamous relationships are ok if they're working for you, but most times folks become lazy and bored in monogamy at some point (honestly I've seen way too many extremely problematic monogamous relationships). They start looking for the zing outside, which is a sure shot formula for the relationship to crumble. Alex, therefore, presents a beautiful thought. They implore us to ask ourselves if it's fair to put all the pressures of a good relationship on one single person or to take all that pressure on us. Would this not cause resentment eventually?
Having said, Alex also draws from their own experiences some clear facts that have worked for them.
Knowing yourself well (and sometimes one doesn't know what one wants until one has had to face something one doesn't want), having enough earning to navigate two homes or different cities / states in order to be able to be present for partners, having enough words to have enough conversations about your desires and needs and wishes (this requires immense reading and researching), finding folks with whom you can freely navigate through even the bitter emotions.
It is a bit scary and plenty complicated and not many are brave enough to embark on such a journey. If done properly though, it looks like a great response to capitalism's obsession with individualism.
I am going to explore books on polyamory to learn more - some of them Alex speaks about and some more. I am incredibly thankful to Alex for writing this and would definitely look forward to reading more of them.
August 15, 2024
I am so grateful to have come across this book. As someone who is polyamorous, reading stories and reflections about it was something I was craving. Alex’s voice, thoughtfulness and insight will continue to make me think and question the life I am wanting to build for myself.
March 4, 2024
entwined: essay on polyamory and making family 💜
i haven’t come across anything like this book before and i seriously think alex is adding something new and exciting to the current market. polyamory is kind of a taboo topic in our society and i feel like even within the lgbtq+ community you don’t hear people talking about it as freely as alex dared in this book.
i really appreciated alex’s frankness and genuine vulnerability. they come across as down-to-earth, with a lot of interesting new insights. personally at times i dwindled off a bit when the topic left polyamory, since i picked up this book mainly for that theme. i felt like some of the other things that were explored were done so a bit superficially.
technically these are all essays, but the format of the book is very original and engaging. all of the essays take a different form (so for example next to the normal style essays, you have a play, an advice column, etc). some of these formats really worked for me, others did not. overall i liked the switching styles, but i think it is always a bit of a risk when you try to appeal to so many different formats. so positive: there is something for everyone. but also negative: there will probably also be one or two that don’t work for you (or at least for me).
like the author says in their preface: dont see it as a how-to, because its not. instead see it as a way of learning empathy maybe towards a sexuality / form of relationship that isnt widely accepted. all the issues i had with this book had more to do with personal preference than actual flaws from the authors side.
my favorite part of this collection was definitely the exploration of the non-nuclear family & communal living. thank you alex for sharing your story & thank you netgalley for the advanced copy 🩷
i haven’t come across anything like this book before and i seriously think alex is adding something new and exciting to the current market. polyamory is kind of a taboo topic in our society and i feel like even within the lgbtq+ community you don’t hear people talking about it as freely as alex dared in this book.
i really appreciated alex’s frankness and genuine vulnerability. they come across as down-to-earth, with a lot of interesting new insights. personally at times i dwindled off a bit when the topic left polyamory, since i picked up this book mainly for that theme. i felt like some of the other things that were explored were done so a bit superficially.
technically these are all essays, but the format of the book is very original and engaging. all of the essays take a different form (so for example next to the normal style essays, you have a play, an advice column, etc). some of these formats really worked for me, others did not. overall i liked the switching styles, but i think it is always a bit of a risk when you try to appeal to so many different formats. so positive: there is something for everyone. but also negative: there will probably also be one or two that don’t work for you (or at least for me).
like the author says in their preface: dont see it as a how-to, because its not. instead see it as a way of learning empathy maybe towards a sexuality / form of relationship that isnt widely accepted. all the issues i had with this book had more to do with personal preference than actual flaws from the authors side.
my favorite part of this collection was definitely the exploration of the non-nuclear family & communal living. thank you alex for sharing your story & thank you netgalley for the advanced copy 🩷
March 6, 2024
This was lovely - a very open, honest, and compassionate look into polyamory. I’ve never read any books on it before, nor do I have any personal experience, so I don’t want to speak on how polyamory is described beyond saying that this felt very nuanced, showing both the joys and complexities of non-monogamy.
What I can say is that I really enjoyed the different styles and formats throughout the book. The essay on alternative outcomes to famous movies, if only the characters had been poly, was hilarious. Some essays were very emotional and touching. From relationships growing, changing, and ending to parents and their (lack of) understanding and acceptance.
The care with which jealousy and un-learning cis/heteronormative and monogamous relationship views were explored and explained make this a great book for any reader, I think. Regardless of what your relationship(s) look like, there’s a lot to be said for the honesty and openness Alex describes. Without wanting to co-opt the term, compersion (as in, joy for others in the opposite form of jealousy) seems like something beneficial for everyone.
Not unimportantly, the essays are highly accessible. The writing is clear and at times I found I had to remind myself these were real people and events I was reading about (in a good way!). Highly recommend this collection.
Thanks to NetGalley and Quilted Press for the ARC.
What I can say is that I really enjoyed the different styles and formats throughout the book. The essay on alternative outcomes to famous movies, if only the characters had been poly, was hilarious. Some essays were very emotional and touching. From relationships growing, changing, and ending to parents and their (lack of) understanding and acceptance.
The care with which jealousy and un-learning cis/heteronormative and monogamous relationship views were explored and explained make this a great book for any reader, I think. Regardless of what your relationship(s) look like, there’s a lot to be said for the honesty and openness Alex describes. Without wanting to co-opt the term, compersion (as in, joy for others in the opposite form of jealousy) seems like something beneficial for everyone.
Not unimportantly, the essays are highly accessible. The writing is clear and at times I found I had to remind myself these were real people and events I was reading about (in a good way!). Highly recommend this collection.
Thanks to NetGalley and Quilted Press for the ARC.
April 11, 2024
excuse me while I follow the author on all of their social platforms.
I love hearing other polyam stories and this was such a good one. I really identify with Alex's desire for a home with all their partners. The idea of family they have is very much how I view my own family and I felt lucky to read their experiences and reflect on how happy my little 'cule is
I love hearing other polyam stories and this was such a good one. I really identify with Alex's desire for a home with all their partners. The idea of family they have is very much how I view my own family and I felt lucky to read their experiences and reflect on how happy my little 'cule is
March 12, 2024
While goodreads will only let me rate this as high as five stars, it deserves a million. Hands down best collection of essays I’ve ever read. Every chapter had me thinking ‘omg this is my favorite one’. Absolute perfection.
February 12, 2024
More and more, polyamory is becoming a topic of discussion, as an alternative to monogamy. Non-monogamy is characterized by flexibility, change, and openness. There are various forms of relationships as diverse as the individuals who seek connection with others. In their book, the author Alex Alberto invites the reader to become a companion on their journey of relationships and identity, allowing us to question whether non-monogamy is a way of self-exploration.
I have paired the reading of this book with another essay by a Spanish author (not translated into English) titled "Superemocional," where the author writes: "To love is not to surrender but to yield," emphasizing the act of yielding to others, to lovers, to friends, and so on. The essay proposes that loving involves embracing dependency. Both the concept of surrendering and depending on others are present in Alberto's narrative. Characters like Alex, Don, Cara, Aly, Sophia, and Lukas let themselves go, surrendering to their partners and embracing change. However, they also acknowledge the vulnerability that comes with emotional dependency, setting boundaries around jealousy, discomfort, demands, and emotions.
The first essay offers a chronological map to guide the reader through the evolution of the author's partners, their changing relational identities and statuses. The book then allows for flexibility in the temporal organization of the essays. This constant back-and-forth, with its unanswered questions, is what characterizes the book and undoubtedly serves as its greatest strength. In the end, the reader feels as though they have truly accompanied Alex and their partners on this bewildering journey of self-discovery.
I haven't read much theory about non-monogamy, but what I have read is often more focused on the abolition of the traditional family structure, as seen in Sophie Lewis's "Abolish the Family: A Manifesto for Care and Liberation." This is a more political proposition that challenges the organization of the family. While Alex Alberto's book explores the idea of an open, flexible, and changing family, it may fall short in terms of political commitment. Essays like this are based on individual and subjective experiences, but I believe it is important to emphasize the political implications of our personal choices. By emphasizing that monogamy is just as valid a choice as non-monogamy, I believe the political value of choosing non-monogamy is diminished. In this aspect, although I understand its personal nature, the book lacks a theoretical and political foundation to define its approach to relationships.
However, "Entwined" is a fantastic read because it is not simply a collection of stories, but rather, it offers a lesson at the end of each essay. The book is filled with uncertainties, open-ended narratives, and the overarching question of how Alex's family will continue to change, evolve, and expand, as well as their identity as a non-binary or bisexual-pansexual individual. Reading "Entwined" is like walking alongside Alex, learning, questioning, and making mistakes together.
Thanks to Quilted Press and Netgalley for the advance copy for review.
I have paired the reading of this book with another essay by a Spanish author (not translated into English) titled "Superemocional," where the author writes: "To love is not to surrender but to yield," emphasizing the act of yielding to others, to lovers, to friends, and so on. The essay proposes that loving involves embracing dependency. Both the concept of surrendering and depending on others are present in Alberto's narrative. Characters like Alex, Don, Cara, Aly, Sophia, and Lukas let themselves go, surrendering to their partners and embracing change. However, they also acknowledge the vulnerability that comes with emotional dependency, setting boundaries around jealousy, discomfort, demands, and emotions.
The first essay offers a chronological map to guide the reader through the evolution of the author's partners, their changing relational identities and statuses. The book then allows for flexibility in the temporal organization of the essays. This constant back-and-forth, with its unanswered questions, is what characterizes the book and undoubtedly serves as its greatest strength. In the end, the reader feels as though they have truly accompanied Alex and their partners on this bewildering journey of self-discovery.
I haven't read much theory about non-monogamy, but what I have read is often more focused on the abolition of the traditional family structure, as seen in Sophie Lewis's "Abolish the Family: A Manifesto for Care and Liberation." This is a more political proposition that challenges the organization of the family. While Alex Alberto's book explores the idea of an open, flexible, and changing family, it may fall short in terms of political commitment. Essays like this are based on individual and subjective experiences, but I believe it is important to emphasize the political implications of our personal choices. By emphasizing that monogamy is just as valid a choice as non-monogamy, I believe the political value of choosing non-monogamy is diminished. In this aspect, although I understand its personal nature, the book lacks a theoretical and political foundation to define its approach to relationships.
However, "Entwined" is a fantastic read because it is not simply a collection of stories, but rather, it offers a lesson at the end of each essay. The book is filled with uncertainties, open-ended narratives, and the overarching question of how Alex's family will continue to change, evolve, and expand, as well as their identity as a non-binary or bisexual-pansexual individual. Reading "Entwined" is like walking alongside Alex, learning, questioning, and making mistakes together.
Thanks to Quilted Press and Netgalley for the advance copy for review.
March 14, 2024
Alex is so wonderful and so is their book!!! As a monogamous person this was such an interesting read for me. i loved how it wasn't necessarily trying to teach you how to be poly or the best practices but just have you insight into how one polyamorous person navigates everything. Really loved reading about how much love and care existed in their relationships. Also cried at the scene where Alex talks to their mom about their gender. accepting supportive parents are awesome !!
August 5, 2025
so heartful, earnest, and informative. i really enjoyed listening to alex tell their stories of love, joy, family, community, and even heartbreak. they have such a grounded voice and know exactly what they want to say. not only did i enjoy this book, but i learned so much about polyamory and community building. 10/10!
Read
May 21, 2024say what you want about polyamorous people—they’re really good communicators. this book is no exception.
February 11, 2024
gorgeous set of memoirs about polyamory. i really liked the way this was written. tyssm for the arc.
February 17, 2024
I absolutely loved this book and needed it a lot.
Fictional books that have polyamorous romance I have read quite a bit by now. But as expected all of those tend to end in a happily ever after, and the coming together is usually fairly smooth. I picked up this ARC as I wanted to read a story grounded in reality, showing all sides of polyamory and not only the ideal endings. This book delivered exactly that and it was amazing.
This book is full of essays that tell the romantic life story of the author. Some read as love letters, others are a bit more factual. There were multiple styles of essays, there was one written as a play, and the first is a bulletpoint timeline of their life. I really enjoyed it that the styles changed throughout the book and definitely made it fun to see so many different ways of telling a story.
Together these essays made a picture of a life that is being enjoyed en fully explored. It was great to see the authors perspective in life and everything that they went through. The story of their life was shared with the right amount of detail but was never too dense with information. But above all the emotions of the author and the people around them was thoroughly felt by me and I experienced every emotion they felt as well.
In my own life I am realizing more and more I might be polyamorous too, and I have been escaping in polyamorous romances as a consequence. But to read about a lived life felt immensely more valuable in exploring myself than that any other fictional book ever did for me. It showed me the factual possibilities of dating multiple people, and gave a clear example of one such life. Of course there are a million ways to live a polyamorous life, but to read about one of those was already enlightening.
Concluding I would recommend this book for anyone interested in having a peek into the authors love life, especially if they like many styles of writing an essay and feeling emotions deeply.
I received an eARC and this was my honest review.
Fictional books that have polyamorous romance I have read quite a bit by now. But as expected all of those tend to end in a happily ever after, and the coming together is usually fairly smooth. I picked up this ARC as I wanted to read a story grounded in reality, showing all sides of polyamory and not only the ideal endings. This book delivered exactly that and it was amazing.
This book is full of essays that tell the romantic life story of the author. Some read as love letters, others are a bit more factual. There were multiple styles of essays, there was one written as a play, and the first is a bulletpoint timeline of their life. I really enjoyed it that the styles changed throughout the book and definitely made it fun to see so many different ways of telling a story.
Together these essays made a picture of a life that is being enjoyed en fully explored. It was great to see the authors perspective in life and everything that they went through. The story of their life was shared with the right amount of detail but was never too dense with information. But above all the emotions of the author and the people around them was thoroughly felt by me and I experienced every emotion they felt as well.
In my own life I am realizing more and more I might be polyamorous too, and I have been escaping in polyamorous romances as a consequence. But to read about a lived life felt immensely more valuable in exploring myself than that any other fictional book ever did for me. It showed me the factual possibilities of dating multiple people, and gave a clear example of one such life. Of course there are a million ways to live a polyamorous life, but to read about one of those was already enlightening.
Concluding I would recommend this book for anyone interested in having a peek into the authors love life, especially if they like many styles of writing an essay and feeling emotions deeply.
I received an eARC and this was my honest review.
February 16, 2024
Firstly, thank you to NetGalley and Quilted Press for providing me with a digital ARC. You were the first ones to grant me a look at your work, and a massive thank you for that.
This was a very exhausting read for me.
Before proceeding - this was one of many copies I signed up for, and it wasn’t at the top of my potential reading list. But this was the first (and so far only) request that was approved, so I wanted to jump in with some sense of diligence about it.
Previously, I had no concept of polyamory in my head. I don’t think that’s something I could ever find myself into, and I never really had conceived it as a way of life others could potentially lead. Now I know more.
In general, I find that there exists some sort of boundary to tolerance and acceptance. We look at Lolita far differently than we do at any LGBTQ+ novel, and that’s intuitively correct.
What I’m trying to say is - since I hadn’t had this concept outlined before, I have had quite the struggle figuring out whether this is something and how should I look at it. I am certain I’d have no issue understanding should a friend tell me they’re polyamorous.
Additionally to me having a lot to consider, the author does go through copious amounts of mental gymnastics at times in order to be happy and be in love. And I suppose that also depends on whether you view love as simple or as extremely complicated.
Overall, I found the writing to not be as potent at times. There are moments I really enjoyed, but also a few essays I found to be very expendable. I also found the conjunction of the essays took away from me achieving clear coherence (as they feature temporal distortions) of the story and what the author wanted to say.
But I’m glad I read this. I figure I am better off for it, and while there are a lot of questions unanswered, I would now be much more capable of approaching acceptance should I ever come across a situation where my acceptance is needed or wanted.
This was a very exhausting read for me.
Before proceeding - this was one of many copies I signed up for, and it wasn’t at the top of my potential reading list. But this was the first (and so far only) request that was approved, so I wanted to jump in with some sense of diligence about it.
Previously, I had no concept of polyamory in my head. I don’t think that’s something I could ever find myself into, and I never really had conceived it as a way of life others could potentially lead. Now I know more.
In general, I find that there exists some sort of boundary to tolerance and acceptance. We look at Lolita far differently than we do at any LGBTQ+ novel, and that’s intuitively correct.
What I’m trying to say is - since I hadn’t had this concept outlined before, I have had quite the struggle figuring out whether this is something and how should I look at it. I am certain I’d have no issue understanding should a friend tell me they’re polyamorous.
Additionally to me having a lot to consider, the author does go through copious amounts of mental gymnastics at times in order to be happy and be in love. And I suppose that also depends on whether you view love as simple or as extremely complicated.
Overall, I found the writing to not be as potent at times. There are moments I really enjoyed, but also a few essays I found to be very expendable. I also found the conjunction of the essays took away from me achieving clear coherence (as they feature temporal distortions) of the story and what the author wanted to say.
But I’m glad I read this. I figure I am better off for it, and while there are a lot of questions unanswered, I would now be much more capable of approaching acceptance should I ever come across a situation where my acceptance is needed or wanted.
February 8, 2025
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
This might be my new favorite book on polyamory. Unlike the standard recommended reading of the polyamory community, such as The Ethical Slut or More Than Two, Entwined reads less like an instruction manual and more like a memoir. Alex Alberto relates their experiences in polyamory, mistakes and all, with such expressive style that the reader can't help but empathize with every intense emotion. As such, the book manages to touch on many common pitfalls of polyamory but in a way that's compassionate and non-judgmental towards the author's partners as well as the author themself, and by extension, towards readers who may have made some of the same mistakes. For people new to polyamory, the book provides a gentle warning of the potential difficulties, illustrating through real-life examples how things tend to play out. This will most likely be the first book I recommend to polyamory newcomers from now on, and I will be requesting a copy for my library's collection.
This might be my new favorite book on polyamory. Unlike the standard recommended reading of the polyamory community, such as The Ethical Slut or More Than Two, Entwined reads less like an instruction manual and more like a memoir. Alex Alberto relates their experiences in polyamory, mistakes and all, with such expressive style that the reader can't help but empathize with every intense emotion. As such, the book manages to touch on many common pitfalls of polyamory but in a way that's compassionate and non-judgmental towards the author's partners as well as the author themself, and by extension, towards readers who may have made some of the same mistakes. For people new to polyamory, the book provides a gentle warning of the potential difficulties, illustrating through real-life examples how things tend to play out. This will most likely be the first book I recommend to polyamory newcomers from now on, and I will be requesting a copy for my library's collection.
January 30, 2024
Alberto’s work gives voice to underrepresented identities, polyamorous, genderqueer, and immigrant, and the myriad ways these identities intersect with each other make the essays all the more interesting to read. The essays themselves are excellent written, shifting styles to maintain attention while always remaining rich in detail and emotion. The two that stand out most to me were “scenes from a polyamorous coming out on thanksgiving” and “queer en français,” as each made me think about polyamory and queerness in ways I hadn’t previously.
As with any collection of essays, I thought some were stronger than others in terms of writing, but together they provided full coverage of Alberto’s lived experiences that I think would be hard to replicate in any other fashion. I learned much about identities I previously knew little, and I think many will value the authentic representation present in this book.
As with any collection of essays, I thought some were stronger than others in terms of writing, but together they provided full coverage of Alberto’s lived experiences that I think would be hard to replicate in any other fashion. I learned much about identities I previously knew little, and I think many will value the authentic representation present in this book.
February 25, 2024
I had the honor of working with Alex on the recording of their audiobook. Alex was an absolute delight to work with and it was really exciting to get to know the person behind the story here. As a relatively monogamous person when it comes to relationships, I know very little about polyamory. It was so fascinating to kind of be a fly on the wall and hear of their unique personal experiences, struggles and triumphs throughout Entwined.
I also found it extremely refreshing to get to hear an alternate perspective on the poly lifestyle rather than the typical demonization that usually comes from people with little to no actual experience being polyamorous themselves. Seriously, why aren't there more books on this topic written from the first person perspective? Overall, I found these stories to be very intimate and moving. This was definitely one of my favorite reads/projects in quite a while.
Can't wait for Alex to drop their next masterpiece! :)
I also found it extremely refreshing to get to hear an alternate perspective on the poly lifestyle rather than the typical demonization that usually comes from people with little to no actual experience being polyamorous themselves. Seriously, why aren't there more books on this topic written from the first person perspective? Overall, I found these stories to be very intimate and moving. This was definitely one of my favorite reads/projects in quite a while.
Can't wait for Alex to drop their next masterpiece! :)
February 14, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and Quilted Press. This book was so poignant and thoughtful, challenging readers to deconstruct the fundamental basis of relationships through the author's own experiences. I found myself rejoicing with their wins and breakthroughs and struggling through their grief and heartbreak. The essays were powerful and dovetailed together beautifully, with the author's own voice maturing over the course of the prose. Highly recommend this read for anyone questioning or curious as a beautiful approach to polyamory and chosen family.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 26, 2024
Thank you NetGalley and the publishers for giving me access to this book in exchange for a review. It is greatly appreciated. (This review is more extensive for that reason, but also for my own record as I like to read back what I thought about books I read in the past that left a great impact.)
Alex has created something beautiful and potent here. Entwined is an artistic and vulnerable, bold yet gentle memoir about polyamory composed in a way I had not seen before. The essay style format allowed for so much creativity and perspective, and made the book very entertaining and intimate to read.
“Polyamory is about developing multiple relationships with partners that you care about, with everyone in the know and - in my case - everyone hanging out with each other. For me, it’s not about casual sex. Amor means love!”
As someone who has not previously been exposed to polyamory but approaches non-traditional ways of living and loving with great curiosity and open-mindedness, I am very grateful for this book. I had always been a little confused and frankly somewhat hesitant toward the concept, but this memoir allowed very enriching and enlightening perspectives and insights, making polyamory into something that I can now grasp. I do not believe that it is for everyone, but neither is monogamy. Alex is great at not communicating in extremes, but finding a skillfully balanced line that expands capacity for various ways to live and love. And that is something not many people can do whilst writing a book that is also enjoyable to read. Left me with a lot of thoughts.
I have now corrected my preconceptions, realizing that polyamory is not simply about physical intimacy but rather emotional ones. I have deep admiration for the radical transparency and honesty Alex described about themselves and their partners employing in their relationships. It is very inspiring, regardless of which relationship model one follows. I realized that relationships and love can genuinely be what anybody wants them to be, and how the traditional ideal of love is just that. One of many versions of how one can live their lives. Why erase all alternatives, why forbid people to find what’s best for them? It is a simple fact that very many people are unsatisfied in their relationships, and yet remain in them. Books like these help open your eyes toward hope and different perspectives and approaches, with polyamory just being one amongst many that deconstruct the relationship escalator. “Imagine you could design your relationship with legos: you can pick the pieces you want, leave aside the ones you don’t, and build any shape you like.”
Towards the end, Alex touches upon many more aspects such as asexuality, genderqueerness, the pressures of the nuclear family or rather not having children, and how a relationship can be of value regardless of whether it persisted. “Most people around me consider a relationship a failure if it ended. But why would the criteria for something’s success be that it never ended or never evolved into something different?” This memoir is packed with beautiful life lessons and serves as an inspiration on various topics.
“Polyamory taught me how to share romantic love and sex, which culturally, are the most dangerous things to share. Once I learned how to do that, I started seeing the potential for creating abundance everywhere.”
Thank you for letting us into your mind and heart, Alex. It is not an easy task to be this vulnerable and publish one’s deepest thoughts and fears for the whole world to see. This is a book I would love to have as a physical copy and go back to the many parts I found inspiring for my monogamous relationship.
Some key terms/phrases I annotated:
- deprogramming compulsory monogamy
- a world designed for pairs
- radical transparency
- ethical non-monogamy
- secondary relationship model
- relationship hierarchy
- relationship transition (instead of breakup)
- uncouple
Some favorite quotes:
- “allow each [relationship] to become what it wants to be without pushing it into a predefined box”
- “I like to see my loved ones as a group of stars of various distance and luminosity, connected together by threads of meaning. Bonds that are no less powerful for being invisible to nature. My constellation guides me, gives my life structure and purpose. A family.”
- “I now operate from a place of abundance, as opposed to scarcity or fear, knowing that there’s plenty of love to go around.”
- “I’ve started to look at romance and friendship as overlapping curves on the same spectrum of love. I see a partner as someone I love, and to whom I have made some sort of intentional commitment. Those partnerships can take any shape.”
Alex has created something beautiful and potent here. Entwined is an artistic and vulnerable, bold yet gentle memoir about polyamory composed in a way I had not seen before. The essay style format allowed for so much creativity and perspective, and made the book very entertaining and intimate to read.
“Polyamory is about developing multiple relationships with partners that you care about, with everyone in the know and - in my case - everyone hanging out with each other. For me, it’s not about casual sex. Amor means love!”
As someone who has not previously been exposed to polyamory but approaches non-traditional ways of living and loving with great curiosity and open-mindedness, I am very grateful for this book. I had always been a little confused and frankly somewhat hesitant toward the concept, but this memoir allowed very enriching and enlightening perspectives and insights, making polyamory into something that I can now grasp. I do not believe that it is for everyone, but neither is monogamy. Alex is great at not communicating in extremes, but finding a skillfully balanced line that expands capacity for various ways to live and love. And that is something not many people can do whilst writing a book that is also enjoyable to read. Left me with a lot of thoughts.
I have now corrected my preconceptions, realizing that polyamory is not simply about physical intimacy but rather emotional ones. I have deep admiration for the radical transparency and honesty Alex described about themselves and their partners employing in their relationships. It is very inspiring, regardless of which relationship model one follows. I realized that relationships and love can genuinely be what anybody wants them to be, and how the traditional ideal of love is just that. One of many versions of how one can live their lives. Why erase all alternatives, why forbid people to find what’s best for them? It is a simple fact that very many people are unsatisfied in their relationships, and yet remain in them. Books like these help open your eyes toward hope and different perspectives and approaches, with polyamory just being one amongst many that deconstruct the relationship escalator. “Imagine you could design your relationship with legos: you can pick the pieces you want, leave aside the ones you don’t, and build any shape you like.”
Towards the end, Alex touches upon many more aspects such as asexuality, genderqueerness, the pressures of the nuclear family or rather not having children, and how a relationship can be of value regardless of whether it persisted. “Most people around me consider a relationship a failure if it ended. But why would the criteria for something’s success be that it never ended or never evolved into something different?” This memoir is packed with beautiful life lessons and serves as an inspiration on various topics.
“Polyamory taught me how to share romantic love and sex, which culturally, are the most dangerous things to share. Once I learned how to do that, I started seeing the potential for creating abundance everywhere.”
Thank you for letting us into your mind and heart, Alex. It is not an easy task to be this vulnerable and publish one’s deepest thoughts and fears for the whole world to see. This is a book I would love to have as a physical copy and go back to the many parts I found inspiring for my monogamous relationship.
Some key terms/phrases I annotated:
- deprogramming compulsory monogamy
- a world designed for pairs
- radical transparency
- ethical non-monogamy
- secondary relationship model
- relationship hierarchy
- relationship transition (instead of breakup)
- uncouple
Some favorite quotes:
- “allow each [relationship] to become what it wants to be without pushing it into a predefined box”
- “I like to see my loved ones as a group of stars of various distance and luminosity, connected together by threads of meaning. Bonds that are no less powerful for being invisible to nature. My constellation guides me, gives my life structure and purpose. A family.”
- “I now operate from a place of abundance, as opposed to scarcity or fear, knowing that there’s plenty of love to go around.”
- “I’ve started to look at romance and friendship as overlapping curves on the same spectrum of love. I see a partner as someone I love, and to whom I have made some sort of intentional commitment. Those partnerships can take any shape.”
June 26, 2024
J’ai beaucoup apprécié l’aspect pluriel du livre, qu’on passe par différents types de récit. Même le lexique était incarné, développé à partir d’anecdotes vécus par l’auteurice et ses metamours. J’ai vraiment apprécié la réflexion sur le queer en français qui amenait une perspective rafraîchissante sur l’aspect très genré de la langue française. Un livre accessible pour s’initier ou prolonger ses réflexions sur l’amour et les liens familiaux queer.
September 11, 2024
This was an audio book for me and I was pleasantly surprised by it! I typically don’t listen to audiobooks, but this memoir kept my attention and made me rethink how I approach relationships. Definitely worth a re-listen in the future.
November 29, 2024
Great work on polyamorous relationships and queerness without being prescriptive in its tone.
August 22, 2025
I loved listening to this. I caught myself audibly responding to so much of it going “exactlyyyyyy”. Good to hear and think to
August 16, 2025
easy and interesting read - first hand romance and gender queer tea offering solid learning on open relationships and authenticity.
February 20, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and Quilted Press for the ARC! This book is so lovingly written, I didn't want it to end. It honestly took me longer to finish than I imagined — every essay felt compelling and necessary, every word needed to be savored and turned over in my mouth.
Alex Alberto writes with such adoration and spirit that it's nearly impossible to set this book down. Alberto entertains a variety of structures and narratives throughout each essay (even crafting a family conflict over the holidays into a briefly striking play). I was surprised that this was their first book — Alberto absolutely thrives in playful formats, which is a genuine testament to how their creativity accentuates the raw feelings of grief, pleasure, and wonder that overflows from this collection.
Over anything, what I admire most about this book is the openness and hope that it leaves in its wake. If there is one thing to remember from this book it's that love is not a finite resource; for centuries we've been raised and indoctrinated with solely monogamous ideals to the extent that we can only conceptualize heteronormative relationships and relegate anything outside of that form as deleterious. But love is formless and abundant, we have so much of it and are constantly wondering where to put it. Alberto illustrates not only that these relationships can exist but how to explore and build and cherish them. In equal weight, I learned from this book as much as I enjoyed consuming it. Just reading through Alberto's experiences with their partners allowed me a better understanding of my own feelings of jealousy / scarcity, the ways it can be communicated, and how to address my partner's and my own needs.
To be able to read other people's experiences with polyamory + relationships in general is such a privilege that I feel incredibly grateful to have in this lifetime. Alberto is a lovely writer and I look forward to reading more from them!!
Alex Alberto writes with such adoration and spirit that it's nearly impossible to set this book down. Alberto entertains a variety of structures and narratives throughout each essay (even crafting a family conflict over the holidays into a briefly striking play). I was surprised that this was their first book — Alberto absolutely thrives in playful formats, which is a genuine testament to how their creativity accentuates the raw feelings of grief, pleasure, and wonder that overflows from this collection.
Over anything, what I admire most about this book is the openness and hope that it leaves in its wake. If there is one thing to remember from this book it's that love is not a finite resource; for centuries we've been raised and indoctrinated with solely monogamous ideals to the extent that we can only conceptualize heteronormative relationships and relegate anything outside of that form as deleterious. But love is formless and abundant, we have so much of it and are constantly wondering where to put it. Alberto illustrates not only that these relationships can exist but how to explore and build and cherish them. In equal weight, I learned from this book as much as I enjoyed consuming it. Just reading through Alberto's experiences with their partners allowed me a better understanding of my own feelings of jealousy / scarcity, the ways it can be communicated, and how to address my partner's and my own needs.
To be able to read other people's experiences with polyamory + relationships in general is such a privilege that I feel incredibly grateful to have in this lifetime. Alberto is a lovely writer and I look forward to reading more from them!!
February 2, 2024
Thanks kindly to NetGalley and Quilted Press for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This series of essays on Alex Alberto’s polyamory journey was everything I could’ve hoped for and more.
The writing was unflinchingly honest, and never shied away from sharing the messy bits. I found the commentary on hierarchical relationships and ensuring the compatibility of poly styles amongst partners to be particularly interesting. For me, there was a clear theme about leaning into abundance over fear and scarcity.
I also found the author’s eclectic approach to the essays refreshing, with each adopting a different style - one even in the form of a play. Generally they were great, although some were more difficult to follow, notably when the second person perspective was used predominately.
The order of the essays made sense, and I loved how the author’s exploration of their gender parallels (with a lag) their journey with polyamory and their increasing confidence and ease within it.
Most of all, I loved how the existence of this book and the experience reading it felt so normal and right (yay queer love and gender diversity!). Yet I know having these intersecting experiences represented in literature is relatively few and far between.
After reading I dived deep into the journey of Quilted Press and discovered two more incredibly exciting forthcoming books - which I hope to be able to read soon.
This book blew my socks off. And made me cry. I’m a queer and genderfluid person. I love stories like Alex’s. They are stories of people like me. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of writing with the world.
This series of essays on Alex Alberto’s polyamory journey was everything I could’ve hoped for and more.
The writing was unflinchingly honest, and never shied away from sharing the messy bits. I found the commentary on hierarchical relationships and ensuring the compatibility of poly styles amongst partners to be particularly interesting. For me, there was a clear theme about leaning into abundance over fear and scarcity.
I also found the author’s eclectic approach to the essays refreshing, with each adopting a different style - one even in the form of a play. Generally they were great, although some were more difficult to follow, notably when the second person perspective was used predominately.
The order of the essays made sense, and I loved how the author’s exploration of their gender parallels (with a lag) their journey with polyamory and their increasing confidence and ease within it.
Most of all, I loved how the existence of this book and the experience reading it felt so normal and right (yay queer love and gender diversity!). Yet I know having these intersecting experiences represented in literature is relatively few and far between.
After reading I dived deep into the journey of Quilted Press and discovered two more incredibly exciting forthcoming books - which I hope to be able to read soon.
This book blew my socks off. And made me cry. I’m a queer and genderfluid person. I love stories like Alex’s. They are stories of people like me. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of writing with the world.
April 26, 2024
wow I really loved this. short and sweet, so thoughtful, honest and lovely, and well-written. I know memoir is about sharing one's truth, and I don't want to invalidate any other non-monog memoirists I've read, but this is one of the first time's I've read a poly journey that, even as they were working it out, seemed to be a pretty healthy and sustainable dynamic. Alex showed us their life and work towards building a broader family / community / household, pushing back against why we structure our lives the way we do, without lecturing (!). I really appreciated this book.
(also, listening on audio, the Québécois accent was so distinctive and interesting, kind of lilting and with emphasis on particular syllables that reminded me of Spanish, it's not one I hear often and it was really endearing!!)
(also, listening on audio, the Québécois accent was so distinctive and interesting, kind of lilting and with emphasis on particular syllables that reminded me of Spanish, it's not one I hear often and it was really endearing!!)
February 4, 2024
Thanks to NetGalley for providing a review copy of this book in exchange for a fair review.
Entwined by Alex Alberto is a collection of reflective essays on the author’s journey through exploring polyamory and building meaningful relationships. The introduction calls out how this type of book doesn’t really exist in within polyamory literature yet (which is largely still focussed around self-help and best practice) and I definitely agree with this and am glad for Alberto seeking to broaden the scope of what’s out there with a more subjective and memoir focus.
The great thing about broadening the cultural texts on polyamory out there is that there is more room for different viewpoints; because we don’t all agree. Sadly, this book didn’t click for me personally - I found the dynamic between the author and their nesting partner to be quite uncomfortable and some of their behaviours quite controlling.
Entwined by Alex Alberto is a collection of reflective essays on the author’s journey through exploring polyamory and building meaningful relationships. The introduction calls out how this type of book doesn’t really exist in within polyamory literature yet (which is largely still focussed around self-help and best practice) and I definitely agree with this and am glad for Alberto seeking to broaden the scope of what’s out there with a more subjective and memoir focus.
The great thing about broadening the cultural texts on polyamory out there is that there is more room for different viewpoints; because we don’t all agree. Sadly, this book didn’t click for me personally - I found the dynamic between the author and their nesting partner to be quite uncomfortable and some of their behaviours quite controlling.
April 29, 2024
Such a promising topic and so thoroughly underdeveloped. I loved most of the topics Alberto touches on in this collection, but to me, the particular insights they brought to the table felt very surface level and underexplored. I feel like they didn't want to wade too deep into questioning the kinds of ties they were looking for and the kinds of different loving amongst different poly dynamics too much to save face as a margininalized relationship dynamic--to prod too much at the thing might cause others to question its fundamental legitimacy rather than explore it with curiosity and rigor. This book just felt kinda lazy to me--some of the things discussed at the end in particular felt like such a cop out of tell over show--the part about stronger queer platonic relationships in the country versus the city could have been its own essay! And I really dislike when authors have the users subscribe to something to see the true "epilogue" on principal. Overall, very disappointing.
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