The Grace Marriage: How the Gospel and Intentionality Transform Your Relationship

by Brad Rhoads, Marilyn Rhoads, Juli Slattery (Foreword)

We live in a performance-based world—but happy and hope-filled marriages thrive on grace.   Marriage was God’s idea, so we know He designed it to be very, very good. But why do most marriages look disengaged, unappealing, or at best a bit stagnant?   For Brad and Marilyn, “the honeymoon was over before the honeymoon was even over.” Both found themselves disillusioned and disappointed. In The Grace Marriage , the authors share how a revelation of God’s grace and fresh conviction of the need for intentional investment transformed their hearts and relationship.    What does a grace marriage look like? This book invites couples to Choosing to show your spouse the same grace Christ has showed you liberates you to walk in freedom and fullness of joy. If you want your marriage to reflect the vibrancy, creativity, and oneness God intends, you must show proactive, ongoing investment. This book is an essential resource for couples who desire to thrive—not just survive—and who want a marriage that showcases the grace of God to the watching world.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Christianity, Self Help

208 pages, Paperback

Published May 2, 2023

Reviews

[Molly Cash · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book give tangible ideas of infusing grace into marriage in regards to expectations, criticism, money etc. and reminds us of our daily personal need for grace. Probably my favorite marriage book Nathan and I have read.

“We encourage you to remember Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:21: ‘Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also,’ and Paul’s exhortation in 2 Corinthians 9:6: ‘Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.’ A consistent, ongoing rhythm of investing in your marriage will be necessary if you want it to thrive.“

“Instead of waiting for our spouse to morph into the ideal mate, we can work toward being the most gracious and intentional spouse we can be.”

[Laura Robinson (naptimereaders) · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was an easy book to pick up daily that covered many topics in marriage. Finances, communication, sex, and even how to handle criticism. I love that each topic covered has practical ways to love your spouse well and also points to the need for grace!

If your marriage is on the rocks, read this. If your marriage if the best it’s ever been, read this! This is such great tool to for every marriage

[Emily Funkhouser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical and accessible. Top takeaways:
1. Invest continually and deeply in your marriage — sow bountifully to reap bountifully.
2. Ask questions when you sense conflict, distance, or disparity. To know your spouse is to understand and love them.
3. Adopt a “rescue mindset” towards your spouse. Their frustration, stress, or other sin should call forth a compassion and desire to cover your spouse in grace in you (laying down the “right” to be offended, defensive, etc.) How can I reach my spouse where they are, and remind them of the eternal righteous person they are becoming even in the midst of the effects of sin?

[Valerie Prusa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Packed with simple, practical, “aha!” moments that really make you think and reflect. Super useful for any marriage, whether you’re cruising or working through tough times.

[Rhonda Hall Mattick · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is marriage changing. The real topics they cover and the “let’s talk over coffee “ language make it educational, enjoyable and easy to read. I’m getting ready to read for the second time and am sure I’ll read many more. I think this is my new “marriage manual”. I plan on buying this for married and engaged friends. Many of the principles shared can be used in other relationships, too. Thank you Brad and Marilyn for being vulnerable and sharing your wisdom.

[Jeremy Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book. It's really unlike many of the marriage books I've read. Marriage books are usually a lot of tips and behavior changes but this book starts at the root of the marriage. What are you building your marriage on? What is the foundation? Is the foundation solid or shifting sand? If you want more for you marriage, you need this book. It's a paradigm shift and it's transformational.

[Blake Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

great resource for all couples

Brad & Marilyn give a very honest look into the highs & lows of marriage and how to have many more of the former. This book highlights many of the best insights they’ve gleaned from many years of marriage ministry and is a phenomenal resource for all couples. As a pastor I’ll use this resource in all marriage counseling going forward.

[Ashley Vaughn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was simple, practical, and easy to digest. It gave me helpful points to ponder and ways to dig deeper into each topic. Brad and Marilyn are very transparent and are honoring God in their ministry to marriages! I was thankful to meet Brad and receive a copy of this book from him at SBC.

[Beth Bryant · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are married, or thinking about being married, read this book! It’s a quick and easy read, but with really valuable content. And helpful questions at the end of each chapter make it applicable to your own relationship, so that you can strengthen it, and enjoy your marriage more!

[Ericka Andersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great and practical advice for Christian couples. I am wary of Christian marriage books, but saw they worked with Dr. Juli Slattery, who I trust. There was only one bit in the sex chapter that I didn’t love, but overall the book is a fantastic resource!

[Staci · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good Insights, But Lacking Depth

This book offers some valuable insights into building a marriage based on grace and love. While the book has its strengths, I found myself wishing there was more depth and substance to the content, rather than just more pages. The concepts presented are good, but they often felt repetitive and lacked the practical application needed to make a lasting impact. Overall, it's a decent read with some helpful points, but it left me wanting a bit more.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great practical and readable little primer on marriage emphasizing the transformational power of grace. Brad & Marilyn Roads glean the best insights from the last twenty years of gospel-centered marriage materials, and put into something simple and readable enough for anyone to profit from. It was an easy read, but invited immediate. concrete, and practical application. I definitely be handing it out as an entry level go to resource on marriage.

[Nicole Andrea VanDyke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved The Grace Marriage book. I’m a newly wed. I just got married in March 2024. I started the book during my two week honeymoon in Japan and I just finished it! The book was super insightful. As a Christian, this book challenged me to consider more of the grace of God when it comes to various heavy topics couples often encounter in marriage. I really grew as a Christian and as a wife in grace and love after reading this book! I would highly recommend!!

[Rebekah Hollaway · Rating 4 out of 5]

The information in this book was spot on in regard to content. I only gave 4 stars because while this book does a great job of exposing performance based marriage in Chapter 2, I felt like Chapter 3 on caused a little whiplash. I would’ve like to see them more side by side. I’m interested to see how they cover these topic over the 7 year rotation in their ministry.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

We have been working on our marriage for several years now, so it was not really anything new. If it had been one of the books we read earlier, it may have had more impact. Solid materials, nothing jumped out as red flags.
Blessings on your marriage

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read through this gradually with my wife this year, and it was a great encouragement to us both. Any married couple would benefit from reading this book. Brad and Marilyn’s high view of marriage is powerful and inspiring.

[Blake · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good friend suggested I read this book stating that it was the best book on marriage he had read in years. In some ways, I can see why he would say so. You can't (let me emphasize: CAN'T) go wrong with true grace, biblically applied to your marriage and the authors work hard to demonstrate this reality. The authors tell of their own story and how it was learning and applying grace that truly saved their marriage. They contrast a performance based marriage (where your best is never enough) with a grace based marriage (where love covers a multitude of sins). They challenge the reader to intentionally apply (sow) grace in one's marriage, then they get to the nuts and bolts of marriage, addressing: expectations, day-to-day life, crisis, communication, criticism, sex, money, etc., ending with an encouragement to intentionally apply the gospel to marriage.

While I found this book to be encouraging and one that I believe can be helpful to many couples (my counseling experience thinks back to many couples who would have done well to apply such principles), I think that several places where psychological thinking seeped in is problematic. It wasn't a game changer for me but was simply that which is noted at various points in the pages of the book and which I believe actually took away from the strength of the book's message. As a whole, I think discerning readers would be well-served in reading the book and in applying the biblical principles within.

[Kyle Wilson · Rating 2 out of 5]

okay

[Tim Wester · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many good thoughts, easy to read and understand with examples

[Geoffrey Wong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great basis for a book. the idea is definitely not new, but I find the practical very easy to follow and apply.

[Kasey Stuursma · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book with my young married couples community group. We read 1 chapter a week and did a discussion on each chapter. It led to rich conversations between our spouses and within our group!

[Brooke Zolnik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful.

[Kevin Bozeman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book

Kait and I did it together and it was really nice to have a structure to discuss our relationship. I would call this somewhat a self guided marriage counseling.

So should you read it yes you and your spouse should read it it was easy and obtainable to do a chapter a week

I knocked off one star because it was very repetitive and at times I felt like we were just reading the same thing over and over.

[Eve]

I've been using the Grace Marriage @ Home program for a couple of years, and I LOVE their resources. But this book, it's going to be a book I try to read annually! Thank you for sharing this wisdom for marriages!