Love & Pain : The Epic Times and Crooked Lines of Life Inside and Outside Silverchair

by Ben Gillies, Chris Joannou

The powerful, untold story of two of the three members of iconic Australian band Silverchair.

It all began in Ben Gillies' garage - where three high school kids from Newcastle, New South Wales, created magic with their smash-hit single 'Tomorrow', setting them on a path to domination of the Australian charts, worldwide touring and fame.

So much has been written about Silverchair over the years but very little has been said by the band's members. In Love & Pain, drummer Ben Gillies and bass player Chris Joannou retrace their footsteps from childhood friends living across the road from each other, and share their often hilarious, wild and unforgettable stories from the rock 'n' roll spotlight, along with the exhilarating highs and heart-wrenching lows they faced along the way.

There was also all the love and pain that came from being in the band: the cost of fame and intense pressure on two teenagers who had no way of preparing for it, and the complex dynamics of navigating friendships with each other and their relationships with friends and family members, the mistakes they made and the successes they cherished. Gillies and Joannou write with vulnerability and raw and blistering honesty, making for an extraordinary account of a band adored by so many.

Genres: Music, Audiobook, Biography, Memoir, Nonfiction, Autobiography, Australia

352 pages, Hardcover

Published September 27, 2023

Reviews

[Carly Findlay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been listening to Love & Pain - written by Ben Gilies and Chris Joannou - two members of Silverchair. It's insightful, respectful and funny. They were just kids, catapulted to fame.

It’s a story about friendship, fame, and the complexities of Silverchair,. There’s been a lot of media about the divide between Daniel Johns and Ben and Chris. I understand why - and I can also understand that Ben and Chris have a right to telling their story, too.

It was really nice to get to know Chris’s story better, as he’s such a private person. And I loved learning about their life touring and stories of mischief with other bands,

I also let out a little "woo" when Savage Garden was mentioned in this book - they cleaned up at the 1997 ARIAs and Silverchair won people's choice award.

I'm a couple of years younger than the guys from Silveechair - like with Jebediah, their music was a bit scary for me. When I was a teen, I got into Silverchair with Cemetery and then Neon Ballroom. I spent a lot of time in the school library writing poetry inspired by the album. And I was lucky to see them live a few times as an adult. After uni I got two job offers at two govt agencies. One in Canberra and one in Melbourne I made a decision to move to Melbourne from Albury, because I had Silverchair tickets in Melbourne for April 2003 - and I thought if I took the job in Canberra, I wouldn't make it to Silverchair's concert!

It was well written and narrated, but I did feel that in the first half, the timelines jumped around a lot, rather than a linear timeline, or themed chapters.

The members of Silverchair don’t owe fans anything, so I don’t ask that they reform. And I’m sure things are so complex between them. But I do hope they can heal their fractured relationship. They shared such incredible moments as a band, but even more so as mates.

[Grant · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's always a little disappointing when truly interesting stories are told in such a disjointed way that it effects you're ability to follow along well. Love & Pain has some precious moments but without Daniel's input we're left with a bit of a mess at times. The jumping around of dates can be disorientating and makes the book feel like a better editor was needed.

Chris retells historic and current events really well and his reflections seem to be pure honesty. Ben nails the issues over royalties and how tensions can form when equal effort and investment don't amount to even near equal payments but at times it feels we're getting too many minor details and not enough meat.

Dan is quoted saying that Chris is like the child caught between two parents divorcing but yet Chris seems to be the most adult person in the band. I really do hope Ben and Dan can learn to effectively communicate with each other in future and become friends again, wether they write music together again is irrelevant. I was left feeling gutted for all them and confused as to why the book was written in such a jumpy manner.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing story! For fans of Silverchair, it’s so great to live the experience of the band through the eyes of Ben and Chris. A celebration of a beautiful thing they all created. Highly recommend.

[Phillip Lloyd · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this within three days it was a fairly easy going and flowed okay. Its a transition between more 'complex' reading. if there was one band I was going to read about it was Silverchair, they were my favourite artist by some distance in my youth. I was only a fan from circa 99/2000 onwards and so the second half of the book was of more interest.

Hopefully no Spoiler Alerts below and a few interesting thoughts along the way.

There are some interesting stories told, although there are also some particularly mundane ones as well. Some are so short that they last for two pages on a kindle and at times it feels like a lot of filler. A huge issue is that the book jumps around in time and date, the reason? probably to support a narrative.

I thought the stories about drink and drugs were embarrassing and childlike (yes they were once child prodigies but not by 2007) Some stories I thought were also cherrypicked to support a narrative of innocence. I didn't like the glamour of the drinking culture It was cringeworthy at times but then I'm not the rockstars here.

I would have defended this band to the hilt in my youth but even I wished they all got a hammering back from the German band which they 'pranked' at Rock AM Ring. There is a lot of double standards in this book.

Ben puts Daniel in his sights very quickly, he's been waiting to fire back for some time. Unfortunately Ben seems very jealous and unaware of anyone's feelings. Chris is a lot more steady and he's certainly more down to earth and adjusts to life in between inactivity and after the band. Chris does in the book what he did in the band, lay a solid foundation, he strikes me as a consistent and good guy to have around.

Ben comes across very petty and unpredictable, he was (and still is) a great drummer but all he seems to talk about is John Bonham and playing loud (Ben you are a much better drummer than that). He's very upset that Daniel cuts him out of the song writing process pre Diorama album. However earlier in the book Ben seems quiet happy about removing the 4th member of the Innocent Criminals. Remember the innocence and the double standards from before?

However Ben does seem to have more interesting stories. I was genuinely pleased for him when he met James Brown. He goes on to explain the Royalty system within the band, its explained well but there is a reason for this Daniel wrote all of the music from Neon Ballroom onwards and there is huge bitterness about that.

Its interesting that Chris doesn't seem to have an issue with the song writing (despite the fact that he never got credited for any song writing over the five albums). Its interesting also that the vision that Daniel had for the band is completely overlooked as well. I get the impression from Ben that the best thing these three have done together is write the song tomorrow at aged 14. Its a great start but they went on to do much greater things. Too much nostalgia for the old days with that one.

Chris seems to notice when Daniel starts to go downhill in and around 96, whereas Ben thinks he's starting to drift away. This alone might tell you how they both think. Ben seems to completely disregard the issues that Daniel went through who was certainly the frontline for the band and was struggling almost from the beginning. Plus Anorexia and reactive arthritis are career ending illnesses (possibly a lot worse) Maybe this is underplayed because of future (legal) counter attacks from Daniel and his team.

I found the point from Ben about not being competitive strange, given that from the beginning of its about Silverchair competing and beating other bands in their youth. Also is the point about Silverchair having more Aria's than Powderfinger.

Chris and Ben were an incredibly tight rhythm section. I was actually proud of the band as a whole unit when they played live. The point about the rhythm section is initially mentioned at the beginning but then its completely forgotten.

There was no reference to playing the songs live, in different environments and how 'they kept things together' because they did fantastically. These two were the backbone of the group and were a huge asset to Daniel. The 2003 Double concerts Diorama tour was an huge time for the band. I've never seen a band put on such a professional, mature and slick set of performances, why is there no mention of it? The three of them (plus everyone else should be very proud of it).

The rift between Ben and Chris around the time of the unfinished sixth album is hugely underplayed, Chris doesn't strike me as someone who would get the hunch with someone over nothing. The drumstick to the head incident is particularly nasty (yes drummers are highly volatile) Chris seems if anything too easy going so I suspect that rift has been forgotten about in support of the common goal within the book.

Interesting thought, was the reason the band couldn't finish the sixth album because of the Ben and Chris's issues and nothing to do with Daniel?

The role of John Watson (Watto) is explained well, I knew he was crucial to the success of the band, he was a smart guy and the band benefited from his ideas.

The quote from Daniel about Chris being the innocent child in a messy divorce is perfect. They don't allow too many quotes from Daniel but when they do its an own goal. I further suspect that Ben needed to get Chris on side to write this book because without him its hollow. Even with the two of them together there is something missing, of course its Daniel and his side of the story.

I don't understand why Ben never joined another band as drummer, he's very good. Chris always
seemed to have other strings to his bow and Daniel is on a completely different path. A lot of people put in a lot of hard work to make Silverchair successful (and that is well explained) but to quote Watto "It (wouldn't) last forever"

For me the band were at their peak between Neon Ballroom and Diorama (and that may put me firmly on Daniel's side). If anything I felt that Young Modern was an album too far, it felt like a Daniel solo album. The band could have easily have broken up after Neon Ballroom and it seems that even Chris had thoughts about leaving in the Frogstomp era.

In short Daniel's talents outgrew the bands needs, I think everyone probably gets that (except Ben). Friendships also don't go on forever as hard as it is to understand. Has anyone ever contemplated the fact that Daniel could have carried on with Silverchair and 'fired' the others (It would have likely only been Ben, there is no issues in this book between Chris and Daniel).

Is this really a book that Ben claims to have wrote as a record to his child or a hit back at his former 'mate'? - I think its easy to know.

The Silverchair Cash cow was milked dry some years ago. To get five albums and 15 years is a better than average return for all involved, including the fans (Remember there were no line up changes in the band, that's quite rare). Will this book enhance anything for the fans, I'm not sure. I think its true aim is directed towards Daniel in order for Ben benefit of reconciliation.

To hear about the process of the sixth album was interesting, that and Chris's level headedness saved this review to be a two star. Unfortunately there is too much bad editing (the 'joint' chapter are also hard to understand as well) a clear agenda is at play and too much guilt aimed at Daniel. This is basically Ben's bitterness at things in the past that's smoothed over with Chris's good times and carefree attitude.

I do genuinely hope that both Daniel and Ben fill their potentials with their individual solo work. I think after this book I've been driven back into the arms of Daniel's projects (for the record I actually thought Ben's stuff was the better). Along with Chris (who has perhaps the best attitude of the bunch but less of a musician) I hope they all go on to bigger and better things.

A reunion (as a band) is highly unlikely but I hope everyone gets peace in the end and that the books and the albums continue to sell because a lot of time has been invested into Silverchair. The whole project was quite something, from what the mums and dads of the band did to the LAS Membership (Yes I've still got the postcard somewhere that they sent me from 1999 from the other side of the world because I just provided my address). Things like that at least shouldn't be forgotten.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

For my thirteenth birthday in 1999, I received copies of Garbage's "Version 2.0", The Offspring's "Americana" and Silverchair's "Neon Ballroom". All three would become touchstone albums for me. Albums that I revisit constantly over my life.

In 2010 Silverchair was on the lineup of a Groovin the Moo festival that I attended. I was excited to see them play. I remember being baffled and beyond disappointed at their set. It was obvious they were drunk, well into sloppy drunk as opposed to just loose. The book makes it clear that the band and its members were not in good place when this show was played, some of their last.

Love & Pain is told alternating perspectives between Ben Gillies and Chris Joannou as well as being broken up with various anecdotes. They talk of their friendship prior to the formation of the band, the beginning of the band and then the insanely quick rise to fame they experienced as teenagers. There's some truely just sweet reflections of the bizarre situation they found themselves in. The fan club run by their mums. Fans that searched for landline numbers in the phonebook and ended up just having a chat with Chris Joannou's grandpa. Worldwide tours in front of thousands of fans only to end up back in Newcastle and being nagged to do homework. It's an experience not shared by many.

Chris and Ben tend to keep to their own experiences with the occasional generalisation thrown in. They don't speculate about what frontman Daniel Johns was experiencing, only speaking from what they observed. It was wild ups and downs, they had their own mental health issues but struggled to speak about it due to the culture of the time. They observed that Daniel was going through something but didn't know how to address it or approach him about it. A similar approach is taken later with substance abuse. There was a point where everyone in the band was drinking too much. And while Ben Gillies does go on to write about his own alcoholism and anxiety but never speculates about his bandmates own experiences. Letting Chris tell his own story and never addressing more than the generalisation for Dan.

The criticism of Daniel Johns more stems from the ways in which, both Ben and Chris, felt pushed out of any creative control or even contribution as the band goes on. This builds and eventually results in the decision of the bands end, a decision that Chris wasn't even informed of by Dan. Ben, however, receives a cryptic phone call that's left vague and unaddressed of its true intent.

This is a memoir about friendship just as much as it is about a band. At the end of the band none of the members are communicating and it's some time before Chris and Ben reconcile. Ben seems particularly hurt by the friendship break down between Daniel and himself. There is occasional moments within the narrative that a bitterness is on display for this breakdown but it's not consistent and Ben writes with such affection for the friendship it's easy to see why he remains so deeply hurt.

It was fun to read about life on the road and the experiences that they had. Being slightly younger than the boys at the time, I never really understood just how young they were when they blew up, or just how big they were. Just how extraordinary their fame was. And it was just as interesting to read about the slow and painful ways that fame and time slowly eroded the close friendship between the band. Both Chris and Ben have clear narrative voices, their chapters infused with their personalities. Chris more reserved but cheeky. Ben exuberant and slightly annoying. It's nice to read how they rebuilt their lives and their friendship with each other after the bands end.

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yikes. I really didn’t enjoy this.
It’s poorly written, the time line jumps all over the place, its repetitive (we get it Ben, you’re bitter) and entire sections about teenage boy pranks were super cringe.

I gave up reading any sort of rock bio of or by male musicians a while ago because they were mainly about taking advantage of underage girls and heroin. Thankfully this contains neither of those subjects, mainly because the guys were teenagers themselves. But there is a lot about drinking, fine, they obviously had drinking problems. But the stories still come across like brags when we know the outcome wasn’t good. There’s quite a few “how funny was this when X drank too much and Y bad thing happened” type stories. As an adult, these are not amusing. These are the stories you can laugh at amongst a group of friends but you really had to be there for them to actually be funny.

The amusements of teenage boys are really boring to me as an adult woman, so the only parts about their teenage lives I cared to hear about was the song writing. I didn’t need to hear about them yelling “show us ya tits” at fans. Yuk.

Overall theme seemed to be that none of them knew how to communicate. And now they’re writing a book so Ben can demonstrate how bitter he is on an even bigger scale. That’s a weird way of going about winning Dan back but okay.

Sometimes you’re no longer friends with someone you used to be close with. You grow apart. And as for the band, they’re lucky it lasted as long as it did. Not many bands last that long as a 3 piece with the original line up. That’s life.
It’s weird to write a book about it. This could probably have just been a long form article. Or like, make a blog Ben.

[Canuknot (Cyn) · Rating 4 out of 5]

But why couldn’t Dan read it beforehand?

[Melissa Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cherish this collection of stories and the legacy of Silverchair. Thank you Ben and Chris 🫶🏼

[Penny Geard · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sadly, this was very poorly written and way more bitter and lacking in self-awareness than I was expecting. I did learn things I didn’t know about the band, and some of it was interesting, but in the end I kind of wish I didn’t know and I could just enjoy the music without knowing about all the toxicity, immaturity, and drama behind the scenes.

[Jess Hunter · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t have many thoughts to share on this one. I love Silverchair and I think their origin as teens is so cool but overall just found this underwhelming.

[michaela · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wow this was disappointing.

This book was poorly written and in dire need of a good editor. It was filled with cliche phrases, the jumping back and forth in time was confusing and unnecessary, it was repetitive in parts and reads as bitter.

I didn't love the endless chapters devoted to teenage pranks (they weren't funny and made the boys come off as insufferable), nor the chapters that were about "in jokes" that the author kept promising were "hilarious". I guess you had to be there.

Ben's lack of self awareness is incredible. It is amazing he can devote entire chapters to his own mental health struggles as an adult, even going so far as to say that has made him a more empathetic person, and yet apparently that empathy doesn't extend towards Dan.

The repetitive jabs about songwriting credits got old fast.

As a huge Silverchair fan I was really looking forward to the perspective of Ben and Chris but came away sad and with a bad taste in my mouth. What a shame.

[Vanessa Mozayani · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book narrated by Ben Gillies, and Chris Joannou. It’s a book retelling their friendship, fun and the complexities of being in Silverchair.

[Tania · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading this, I am now very curious to read Dan’s book as it felt like Ben and Chris’ wrote this book in response to Dan’s. It did felt a bit messy as Ben and Chris’s storytelling were different and I wished I had Dan’s input at times. I did really enjoy Chris’s side and how lucky he is to be alive today….

What a crazy life these 3 had from such a young age - great iconic aussie band.

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The ‘chair will always be my favorite band, but if I had to read one more of Ben’s diatribes about how he should have been paid more for work he didn’t do, I would have put my own head through a drumset.

Also this confirmed for me once and for all that Chris was/is the only adult in that band. 😂

[Beka Naismith · Rating 5 out of 5]

important read for aus rock history

[Lani · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Silverchair so much in the 90s and shared this love with a dear friend who is no longer with us anymore, so hearing Ben and Chris recall the early days of Silverchair evoked so many memories I hadn't revisited in decades. After Diorama (one of my favorite albums of all time) I lost track of the band dynamics and was saddened to learn about their eventual breakup. It's astonishing how much success they achieved by 18, with inevitable varying impacts on each band member. Though I wished for a book capturing all three perspectives (sounds like they did too) getting a glimpse into the lives of two rockstars who essentially grew up on stage was a both enjoyable and shocking.

I’m glad Ben and Chris got a chance to tell their story. I also really appreciate the context provided for each album - it definitely adds a new dimension; revisiting the music now feels different, understanding the significant life events and drama they navigated at the time.

[Aneets · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first ever audiobook experience and I loved it. Silverchair was one of my favourite bands growing up and I think their music has aged like a fine wine and was visionary for the time.

There was a lot of jumping back and forth in time which took some getting used to but it didn’t detract from my enjoyment.

It took me longer than it should have to finish because every time they mentioned a song I’d need to listen to it. 4 stars

[Aimee F · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a huge Silverchair fan so keen to hear the inside story. I liked the two perspectives from Chris and Ben and the flashbacks throughout the book to some stand out memories. This book made me reflect on my own relationships after hearing their stories and one of the reasons why I enjoyed this book, it made me think about life. I watched them on stage with their book tour before I read the book so lucky to hear them talk about their experiences as well.

[Jessica Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Music is such a massive part of my life and always has been. I’ve loved Silverchair since I was little and my teenage brother had Frogstomp on CD in his bookshelf so this was an important biography for me to finally get my sweaty hands on. My whole life has been spent around bands, local and those I worship, concerts, albums, music, artists.

This was such an easy read for me and a definite 5 star rating, it was so Australian and so informative and emotional and I loved every page.

[Nikki Long · Rating 4 out of 5]

Decades of highs and lows - from teenagers making and writing songs in a small bedroom to playing on some of the biggest stages and festivals in the world.

Silverchair faced alot of highs and lows throughout their career.

This story from Ben & Chris shares their memories and the bond of brotherhood while navigating an extraordinary life.

[Lizzie Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read for Silverchair fans from back in the day.

[Nicki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Format:audiobook
I loved this! As a Silverchair fan in my teen years this was so nostalgic. It was funny and heartwarming and just interesting

[Melissa Llewellyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great tale of childhood friendships and their trials and tribulations. funny at times and so sad at others. Hopefully someday they're will be closure.

[Karla · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars
If you’re a fan of the band you will appreciate Ben and Chris’ insights.

[Permanently 23 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Smashed this out in a week. Cannot recommend it highly enough as an audiobook. Was so great being told this story from the band members themselves.

Felt surprisingly emotional when I finished it. Is a lesson in the importance of open communication and that life really is all about the relationships you have. 4.5 stars.

[Elene Papazoglou · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know Silverchair is never getting back together (this book basically confirms as much) but I’d do just about anything for it to happen and will remain wilfully delulu 🤘😔🤘

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Music making has a powerful pull for many of us, and the emotional connection to the music and the process is amplified when music is made with mates. This connection, to the music, certainly, but first of all to other like-minded people, is what Ben Gillies and Chris Joannou record in ‘Love & Pain’, the story of their time in (and out) of Australian rock band Silverchair.

To say I devoured this book would be a slight understatement, because like the authors I too have young children, but I did read it quickly and absolutely found it hard to put down. The stories told cover the beginnings not just of the band, but of the bonds between band mates. Like the band’s music, they evoke a broad range of emotions. They are down-to-earth, insightful, revealing yet respectful, funny, poignant, joyful, sombre, reflective and honest. There is a beauty to the friendship forged around a common love of music and there is heartache following lapses in judgment, communication and trust that ultimately led to a lack of closure for fans and, as the final chapters make abundantly clear while trying to remain respectful of Daniel, for Ben and Chris.

All four of the friends I chose to be groomsmen in my wedding were ones I had played in bands with over the years. That is significant. We were close. The connections you make when you band together with friends to simultaneously create live music you couldn’t make alone is special. The ‘alchemy’ spoken of so often on the pages of this memoir is real. When those friendships fall away or change, the pain can be real too.

I love that the journey of this band happened in my lifetime, in my formative years. Ben and Chris talk of playing anywhere they could - places like talent shows, competitions and school. I remember that too. I even remember rocking up to what felt like a fairly highbrow music competition at the premier music-oriented high school in Adelaide in the late 90s, when I was just learning to play bass, and playing Freak to a room of what, if I recall correctly, were somewhat stunned and shocked spectators. We didn’t mind. We were there to make music and that was the sort of music we were into.

For fans of Silverchair, this book provides some incredible insights into the stories from the road, from the studio, from the management meetings, and from the bedroom where it all began. It jumps back and forward, but the lack of chronology only serves to keep the reader’s interest.

I have no idea what will happen in the future. Whether the band ever plays another note together or not, it seems there is a mutual respect that still remains. It may have been battered and bruised, but it’s there, and while it is, there is hope that even if more music isn’t on the horizon for Silverchair, a mending of broken relationships could occur. I hope, for the sake of the three friends who started on the Silverchair journey together and then took their music to the world, that it does. Pain doesn’t have to be the end of the story. The rekindling of the brotherhood between Ben and Chris is proof enough of that.

Whatever happens, this book is worth a read if you’re a fan of Australian music. I trust, like me, you will find it hard to put down and it will give you the greatest view into the journey of three young Aussie kids from Newcastle who started a band, rose to fame, and released some amazing music. They made music they loved, but most importantly the music was born out of brotherly love, and that is the true story that emerges from Love & Pain.

[Mark Glover · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a strong emotional connection to 'the Chair', they were up and coming during my years in Newcastle and I remember seeing them at a Triple J open day back at the very beginning of it all and buying the Tomorrow EP from the record store in Hunter St Mall. When I was doing my teaching prac one of the uni students had them in her class and they seemed to grow up and move on to bigger things at about the same time I left Newcastle. In later years I would connect again with Anna's Song when I went through a similar period of body dysmorphia, eating issues and depression and anxiety. The last time I saw them play was at Homeback around about 2000 when they headlined, Daniel in his full glory in his silver see-through top and skinny/angst edge. After that, I lost my link to their music, moving overseas and only really taking in the hits via the hottest 100. I can't say that I really thought about the rest of the band all that much, it always seemed to me to be what it indeed it became a Daniel Johns venture in which he dragged along two of his mates. They seemed simple enough 'Newie' boys who were just happy to ride the wave of fame with him.
In later years, and via Daniel himself, I learnt the pain and suffering he endured at the hands of pressure, fame, friends and family. In his story, Chris and Ben came across as selfish guys who wanted to milk him dry against his best interests.
It would seem that there are two sides to every story and what a story the boys offer up. This story is really one of broken hearts, fame, loss and ultimately hope. Chris and Ben have absolutely done the right thing in laying out their narrative, their approach is mature, filled with details any fan would long to hear but also filled with regret at opportunities lost and friendships that have fractured. Hearing Ben's struggles with anxiety and Chris's terrible health struggles really puts their story into perspective. They too have paid a price for their fame, even more so for their silence. This is not a story of attributing blame or offering excuses it is merely a look at what the experience of fame is like and how when it fractures the thing that lies at the core of who you are and what you have it can only leave damage and regret in its wake.
Listening to the two of them narrate their story you can only hope that the friendship between all three is restored. Forget more albums or tours, my hope as theirs surely is is for them to regain their friendship. The two men, for the is what they are now, seem settled and happy and at peace with their past. A very different story to Daniel who although he seems to be trying to get there still seems to be a deeply unhappy person. His recent drink driving arrest pointing to the fact that he still has a long way to travel. I really hope he gets there and I really hope he re-establishes his friendship. It is the ending this story deserved for all of them.

[Mia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Why did it end?

Oh boy, a lot to unpack here. Silverchair were a bit of a hyperfixation for me a couple of years ago. They still live in my brain rent free because they are truly an anomaly in the Australian music industry and did something that was genuinely impressive on a global level. Understandably, these former child stars (because that's basically what they were) have some trauma and hang-ups from this period. I am completely sympathetic to any reflections on negative experiences and analysis of current mental health issues that were directly affected by these experiences. I appreciate the sharing of those experiences. Saying that, I wish it was more insightful. There were a few stories shared that definitely could've been kept in the friendship group haha. Some of the 'pranks' didn't make anyone look good. I am terrified of teenage Ben Gillies if I'm being honest and I think his admittance of some of the things he did or thought was often contrary to a value he held in the chapter before. And Chris Joannou on the other hand genuinely seems like he's never done anything wrong in his life! Anyway, I guess that's kind of the vibe you expect from a biography of this nature.

The most devastating thing about this book is the exploration of male friendships and how evidently important they were to the two authors. Daniel Johns, the frontman of Silverchair, is missing from this conversation. Or rather, he is missing from this narrative. Both Chris and Ben (especially Ben) seem deeply upset about their rift with Daniel and are confused why he never seems to want to talk about it. This miscommunication is so frustrating because I can genuinely understand both sides! A frontman (frontboy?) who was relentlessly dissected by the media and obviously has some serious issues dealing with that unsurprisingly and physically debilitating time; OR his best friends who just wanted to make music with their mates, being able to work through their issues in their adult life, and now looking for some kind of peace that doesn't ever seem to be reciprocated. It is heartbreaking and such a shame that a relationship that positively impacted their lives (at some point at least) is just unable to be rekindled again. You wonder if Ben and Daniel, Ben describing Daniel as his best friend throughout the book, would still be best friends if they didn't start a band. They probably would.

I think I'm more interested in the conversation about that but I get why they didn't get too into it. I think this band's story overall is testament to the power of childhood friendships, particularly male ones which are so often neglected in later life. Something very unique happened with these boys which fundamentally changed their outlooks on life as men. I appreciate Ben and Chris sharing this, even if it wasn't quite as self-aware as I wanted it to be. It was a good read. I wish them the best with their families and I'm glad that they are at least still friends.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Man. That was an odd ride.

I discovered Emotion Sickness when I was 12 or 13, but it was on a CD a friend burned and I never really pursued more. Like, I loved that song- I played it endlessly...but I just enjoyed it for what it was and didn't dig deeper. It wasn't until Young Modern came out that I finally made the connection and really dug into their back catalog and fell in love with all of their stuff.

I don't love most of Frogstomp, I only enjoy like 50% of Freakshow, Neon Ballroom was perfect, I dislike most of Diorama, and I thought Young Modern was perfect. ...soo I'm not a diehard by any stretch of the imagination- but the tracks of theirs that I love, they REALLY meant something to me.


As many people have commented, the weird timeline jumps throughout the book were pretty distracting and I often didn't really see much of a connection/reason why they were put where they were. Also, it felt odd to never really know who was writing those mini sections- there were a few sections where Ben and Chris were both mentioned by name- there was no "I" mentioned...it just felt unnecessarily confusing. There were one or two that added something of interest- I feel like the ones towards the beginning felt a bit more natural/fit the book more...but towards the end it was just getting weird.

The second half of the book really fell apart for me overall, actually. There was one chapter where Ben just kinda randomly starts talking about how controlling his mother was- eventually it ties back in when he talks about her dying- so I understood the point in him talking about all of that, but it should've just been its own chapter or something, because it seemed to come out of nowhere and felt clunky.

I don't know...I started to type up a bunch more, but it was all kinda petty and not in great taste. These are real people just trying to live normal lives. I'm grateful they decided to share their story. I can't imagine how painful a lot of it still must be- I've had a deep friendship that ended pretty suddenly and dramatically, and I don't really enjoy thinking of ANY memories from that- no matter how good they were- because it just stirs up confusion and hurt. ...and Ben and Chris (and Dan?) have had to live with that every day- they'll never be able to escape Silverchair questions/memories. That's a bummer. They went through some crazy stuff at an incredibly young age. It was interesting to be able to read all of this in one place as opposed to piecing together interviews or whatever.

Also, Chris just seems like such a dude- in the best way possible. Just so even-keeled and chill and drama-free.