Columba's Bones

Darkland Tales

by David Greig

In a bloody, brutal raid, Abbot Blathmac is slain on the steps of his monastery for refusing to give away the location of the sacred relics of St Columba, the missionary who first brought Christianity to Scotland. Following a night of rampage and mayhem, one Viking wakes up the next morning to find himself alone, hungover, and abandoned by his crew mates. He can't swim, there are no boats, and the only surviving monk on the island has taken his sword. With only his wits, he must survive long enough not only to rejoin his Viking comrades, but also to find the location of the elusive relics that brought him here in the first place. Rooted in the real history of Iona and its early monks, Columba's Bones is an utterly unique and thrilling read, exploring the clash of early Christianity and paganism, and expanding into a sharp, witty meditation on philosophy, redemption, shame, violence, love, transcendence and reality. 'Stupendously earthy, laugh out loud funny in places, visceral writing' - Sally Magnusson

Genres: Historical Fiction, Fiction, Historical, Scotland, Novella, Short Stories

184 pages, Hardcover

First published October 5, 2023

About the author

David Greig is a Scottish dramatist. He was born in Edinburgh in 1969 and brought up in Nigeria. He studied drama at Bristol University and is now a well-known writer and director of plays. He has been commissioned by the Royal Court, the National Theatre and the Royal Shakespeare Company and was Artistic Director of the Royal Lyceum Theatre in Edinburgh from 2015 until 2025, when he left to return to writing.

His first play was produced in Glasgow in 1992 and he has written many plays since, produced worldwide. In 1990 he co-founded Suspect Culture Theatre Group with Graham Eatough in Glasgow.

His translations include Camus' Caligula (2003), Candide 2000, and When the Bulbul Stopped Singing, based on a book by Raja Shehadeh. Danmy 306 + Me (4 ever) (1999) is a play written for children.

David Greig's plays include The American Pilot (2005), about America's involvement in the Middle East and Eastern Europe; Pyrenees (2005) about a man who is found in the foothills of the Pyrenees, having lost his memory; and San Diego (2003), a journey through the American dream. His latest works are Gobbo, a modern- day fairytale; Herges Adverntures of Tintin, an adaptation; Yellow Moon (2006); and Damascus (2007)

Reviews

[Victoria Catherine Shaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Men could be strong, they could be clever, but when there's sharp metal flying around, someone's bound to get their ball sack punctured in the end, and it's just an accident of the dance whether it's you or the other guy."

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It shouldn't really be possible to make a book about massacring monks that's both touching and properly funny, yet David Greig does just that with Columba's Bones, the fourth instalment in the Darkland Tales series. Set on Iona (or I as Greig refers to it), Columba's Bones begins when a ruthless band of Viking raiders descend on the island in search of the relics of Saint Colm. Frustrated by their inability to locate the bones, the Vikings set about mercilessly killing everyone they encounter. When they vacate the island, they leave behind one of their dead, Grimur, who turns out not to actually be dead but very, very drunk. Buried and left to meet his maker, a boatless Grimur is left with little choice but to settle on the island with its two remaining inhabitants.

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There's something undeniably Scottish about this absurd little imagining, stuffed full as it is with both babarity and humour.  Greig blends litttle hints of the Norse myths with wry Scottish comedy, painting a surprisingly funny picture of paganism meeting Christianity.

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If you're not familiar with the Darkland Tales series, I strongly suggest you check it out - it's a set of novellas by different authors, each speaking to different moments from Scotland's history, myth and legend.

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[Carolien · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a fun read. In 825AD a group of Vikings raid the monastery at Iona, killing the monks and taking the remaining inhabitants as slaves with them. One lone warrior, Grimur, wakes up hungover to find himself left behind with two other survivors - a lone monk, Martin, and Una, a woman famous for her mead. Over the course of the summer these unlikely compatriots slowly rebuild and form a bond through daily rituals and small mercies. Loved the humour and gentle tone and wonderful characters.

[Aisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Darkland Tales is an excellent series of books set in Scotland. Dramatised and retold by modern Scottish authors, each of these tales carries something of the old and a bit of the new in them.

Columba's Bones is irreverent, funny and impactful all at once. It handles the clash of two religions, two cultures and two lifestyles with a great sense of humour. Highly recommend. This book has made me want to read more from this author.

[Chad D · Rating 5 out of 5]

so tempted to teach this book at a Christian college

so tempted

is it God or the devil

[Ross Maclean · Rating 5 out of 5]

A full-blooded, lusty, violent musing on faith and contentment. Enlivened by a modern comic sensibility, the humour never ceases to surprise when it crops up in a tale chiefly about bloodthirsty pillaging, bucolic idealism and repressive devotion. But above all that it’s lean and propulsive and doesn’t hang about, without forgetting to craft memorable characters within quiet moments that inform who they really are. There’s a sense of joy to the prose that suggests that David Greig’s first novel was one he could really sink his teeth into and have fun with.

[Calum Doyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really enjoyable. The ending was exciting, and very graphic.

The best in the darkland series since Rizzio

[Tony Sanchez · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Columba’s Bones”
by David Greig

“Columba’s Bones” is one of a series of so-called “Darkland Tales” which are a cleverly arranged and serially published set of novellas, written by contemporary Scottish authors who present bite-sized accounts of some of the darker events from their country‘s past, legend and mythology. This is the third one I’ve read (five are published) and I’ve loved them all. “Hex” was a fantastic retelling of one execution during the North Berwick Witch Trials during the 1590’s; “Rizzio” an account of the conspiracy to murder the personal Secretary to Mary Queen of Scotts in Edinburg during the 16th Century Reformation as part of a coup attempt by her husband. I’ve yet to read the other two tales, but I certainly will.

In “Columba’s Bones” we are taken back to the ninth century and the tiny island of Iona off the western coast of Scotland, where the Church has built a monastery to keep and protect the relics of Saint Columbkille (“Columba”), who is a patron saint of both Ireland (where he was born) and Scotland to which he brought the Catholic faith. The monastery is perpetually besieged by Viking invaders who want to plunder silver and especially steal “Columba’s Bones” for their own usurpations. The conflict between the Church and the pagan Vikings unfolds in all the color and violence one might expect, but it’s a great little read full of vivid characters which bring the events to life. The hilariously provocative names used by the Viking invaders is reason enough to pick this book up and give it a thorough read. I loved it as I have the other Darkland Tales, which apparently is a continuing and expanding franchise with a fifth publication (“Queen Macbeth”) only recently released.

[Meredith · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 I love bees and cows

maybe Minecraft is on to something

[Kiki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is actually being published here by Europa Editions on 9/9/2025 with the title The Book of I.
I have just finished reading another short UK published novel about the legendary Pope Joan called Rapture by Emily Maguire, set in the 9th century and was really craving more from this time period when I came across this book publishing next week that I already have downloaded as an ARC on my Kindle. Let me tell you, that is just what I needed! A delightful, if somewhat graphic description of life on a difficult to reach, lightly populated Scottish island where a group of monks and some regular folks are quietly living when it is attacked by Vikings. I found it to be quite engaging. It’s about people interacting with each other, not just focused on the killings that occurred by violent raiders of this time period.

I felt like I was living on the island with the 3 main characters and really enjoyed the imaginative storytelling by this playwright.
If you enjoyed this, Is also recommend Haven by Emma Donoghue. It’s a more regular length novel, too. But this one was fun for its slightly anachronistic internal thoughts of the characters. Thoroughly enjoyed! A great weekend read.

[Andy Weston · Rating 5 out of 5]

This series continues to go from strength to strength.

He wondered if he really needed his axe. Surely the Christians were unlikely to put up a fight? He had a stabbing knife. The axe seemed like extra weight.
Still, it looked good and it scared people.
He decided to keep it with him, just in case.
At least it was a nice day for it: light breeze, lambs playing in the fields. You didn't want to be splitting heads in the rain. Grimur's palms had only just healed from the shaft blisters he got during the slave chase in Thurso.
And no midges.
All things considered, this was a good day for a massacre.

On the Inner Hebridean island of Iona in the year 825 Abbot Blathmac is brutally slain on the steps of his monastery refusing to give away the secret resting place of the bones of St Columba.
The following morning the raiding Viking ship departs after their murderous visit but they leave behind a drunken and hungover Grimur. Unable to swim and with no boats he is trapped.

As with the other three Darkland Tales this is rooted in the history of the isle, and provides a hugely entertaining and thrilling read. To tell such an outlandish tale requires great skill of the pen, and Greig has that in spades, getting the tone just right with sharp and short sentences, occasional hilarity, strong drink and bloody murder. Behind it all the magnificent wild backdrop of the island is ever-present. He steers clear of imitation and stamps his own mark firmly. For Greig, a playwright, this is actually his first novel.

Next to the Darkland Tales party is Val McDermid, for whom the pressure is on, with her take on Lady Macbeth. I can hardly wait..

[ezra · Rating 4 out of 5]

After not having a particularly good time with the previous instalment of this series I was a bit worried going into it, especially as this was the only one I had zero historical context for beforehand, but I was so glad to have my worries squashed.

I found this novella to be immensely satisfying and interesting, with a cast of characters that was both really fun to read about and also lovable in their own ways.

This one is a definite recommendation from me!

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is my favourite of the Darkland Tales so far. (I've only got 1 left to read!)

It was easy to read, it was clever, and it was funny (I actually laughed out loud on a couple of occasions).

I liked the relationships between the three main characters, and the discussions and debates around the different religions explored.

I'd highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a quick, fun read.

[David Tutt · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amusing story of life on a scottish isle at the time of the Vikings. Bloodthirsty, whilst also being a story of faith and how one man can change.

[jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars ✨

[Ericafh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a fierce, full little book. Suffice to say, I loved this. It's the story of Grimur, an ageing, mead-loving Viking who is left behind after a violent raid on the isle of Iona in 825AD, of Martin, the young monk who is the only one left alive, and of Una, the local mead-maker who, essentially, gets a new lease on life.

It's a testament to writing prowess (perhaps an influence from Grieg's previous experience with plays) to weave and merge three (sometimes more) storylines in under 200 pages with enough force to make me laugh, gasp, despair and smile.

This is a clash of cultures, of religions coming head-to-head. It's sharp, raw and violent. But it's also poetic and full of love and rebuilding (physical spaces and well as relationships).

So many lines and short paragraphs in this hit in powerful ways and I know I'm going to want to reread it.

Oh my god and how could I forget that another reason this resonated with me so much was because I've been to Iona! I could see the machair, the northern beaches, the Abbey. All of it was so vivid. It was amazing connecting my experiences and views to those of the characters. Very special indeed.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars, surprisingly witty

[Emily Mcleod · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous retelling of Iona’s destruction, the story was wonderful and having been to Iona it added another layer of beauty and connection. I enjoyed the clash of cultures and religions, found the humour to be perfectly balanced and charming. The characters were enjoyable, I liked Una and her coming out of her shell. While violent in parts I felt it was an honest violence and not a hyper sexualised violence so common to modern tv dramas. Overall, I am glad I persisted in tracking this down, I can’t wait to buy and gift this to others :)

[Jack Deighton · Rating 4 out of 5]

One summer day in 825 AD the red sail of Helgi Cleanshirt’s longship appears on the seas surrounding Iona. Helgi is intent on procuring the bones of Saint Columba for their supposed mystic powers. It turns out only one relic, a finger bone, remains, but Abbot Blathmac has buried it somewhere on the island’s only hill, Dùn Ì, so that none of the brothers can reveal its whereabouts. This, of course, does not end well for the monks and the lay people of the island.
While the rest of the longship’s crew is causing mayhem, the slightly tardy Grimur has come upon the island’s smithy, killed the blacksmith (somewhat luckily,) and been plied with her potent concoction by the meadwife. In his subsequent stupor he is taken for dead by his shipmates and buried.
There are thus only three survivors of the raid: Brother Martin, who hid in the latrine pit, that meadwife, Una, who had made herself scarce, and Grimur, who, on wakening, manages to dig himself out of the shallow grave with his knife.
The three then have to make do as best they can. Martin resolves to be the best monk he can be and to complete the illuminated manuscript he had been working on, Grimur to rub along with the other two and to understand the strange religion of the islanders, Una to survive. What livestock remains has to roam the island more or less untended.
When a delegation from the mainland arrives the three are told they cannot be protected and ought to leave but all are unwilling to do so.
Later, an Irish princess, Bronagh, turns up, attempting to escape an unwanted marriage and asking to become an anchoress. Brother Martin complies with her request but finds her presence a sinful distraction. Bronagh soon enough, though, finds the monastic life too irksome. Una and Grimur manage to find solace in each other.
We are, here, in a clash of cultures; between the single-minded focus of the Norse warriors, exploiting the usefulness of their brutality, and the Christianity of the monks, that intense faith manifested in the face of extreme adversity, exemplified by Grimur’s incomprehension of its sheer oddness and Martin’s redoubling of his devotion despite its failure to protect the monks; but also between that Celtic Christianity, its call to utter dedication, and our modern individualistic eyes. Greig conjures it all well. Like all the Darkland Tales so far this is beautifully written, with economically well-drawn and believable characters.
There is still Helgi Cleanshirt’s return to come, the aftermath of which hints that there may have been a miracle occurring on that island in the interim.
(A foreword mentions that Iona has previously been known as I, IO, HII, HIA, IOUA. IOUA was in the 18th century corrupted to IONA by a typographical error.)

[Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Iona, 823 - the island’s Abbot refuses to reveal where St Columba’s sacred relics are to Viking raiders, resulting in a brutal massacre; the next morning one of the Vikings wakes to find he has been left behind, determines to find them himself and somehow make his way home, even though he has no boat and can’t swim…

I went into this one with no expectations - having automatically ordered it because it’s part of the Darkland Tales series, I don’t think I even read the blurb - and what a delight it turned out to be! I thoroughly enjoyed myself with it.

Yes, it starts off with a Viking raid brutally slaughtering a monastery of monks, which doesn’t sound funny at all, and yet…it is quite a humorous book. Greig zeroes in on the humanity of the main characters and their little idiosyncrasies and moments of endearing awkwardness, as well as their ponderings on life - there’s a philosophical thread running through the story, which explores violence, shame and redemption.

I realise this all sounds pretty dark, but my lingering impression of the book is actually one of levity. Probably because the story doesn’t take itself too seriously, with a Viking who is just a bit over it all and has sore knees… Anyone no longer in their sprightly 20s will appreciate his little grumbles.

A delightful, unexpectedly witty story which explores shame, violence and companionship, against the backdrop of the clash between early Christianity and paganism in Scotland.

[historic_chronicles · Rating 5 out of 5]

"You are wrong, my friend. Jesus is not like other gods. He's not selfish, or quick to anger, and He doesn't ask for sacrifice. He only asks for faith. He died so that we might live. He is the Carpenter of Nazareth. His love for us is as boundless as the sea."

During a devastating raid on Iona (referred to as "I" in this tale) the Abbot Blathmac is brutally murdered along with almost all his fellow brothers for his refusal to disclose the location of the sacred relic of St. Columba, the missionary who introduced Christianity to Scotland.

The following morning, as the lone surviving monk Martin attempts to make sense of the destruction and his lucky escape, he discovers one of the viking raiders, alone and abandoned by his crew. Forming an uneasy alliance, Grimur uses his intuition to survive alongside those on Iona until the eventual return of his crew and the discovery of the elusive relic.

The fourth entry of the Darkland Tales, David Greig's first venture into fiction has proven to be a great success.

Despite the bloody topic, this novella is deeply touching. A lusty tale full of perfectly-timed darkly comedic prose, I often gained the impression that Greig perhaps had as much fun writing this story as many have (including myself) reading it!

Our cast of characters are a fantastic band of enlightening and enjoyable personalities that compliment one another and the setting.

A clever blend of myth, legend and religion, Greig expertly translates the harsh realities of historic Scotland and its at-times shocking barbarism into a memorable tale that eagerly fights its way to the top of my list for "favourite" of this outstanding collection of Scottish storytelling.

[Alan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t read violent books and found the opening chapter quite shocking - as it’s meant to be. But I loved the way David Greig then developed the story around the 3 main characters - Grimur the Viking, Brother Martin the only remaining monk, and Una the maker of wonderful mead. The location, the Isle of Iona, is also central.
It felt like a very authentic dive into the worldviews of the time, with faith, violence and purpose all featuring but handled in a very readable way.
There’s a great deal of humour - quite a few laugh out loud moments - and tenderness. And some glowing pearls in the writing, such as “The night was clear, and a river of stars ran in full flood around the bend of the sky”.
I’ve seen and enjoyed some of David Greig’s plays before. This is his first novel. I hope there will be more!

[Laura Bloom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a beautifully written look at what might happen when a gang of Vikings raid a monastery and one decides to stay. Grimur is perhaps past his prime as a warrior but he feels like there’s more out there for him.
Martin begins as a terrified young monk hiding during the raid and emerges as a powerhouse abbot - I really love his arc.
Una the mead wife keeps everyone alive and finds the joy she had kept hidden for so long.
Beginning with a graphic raid and then shifting to a pastoral meditation, the poetic language throughout offers little treasures of beauty.
The shifting PoV allows for a well rounded insight into life on I for those who remain.
Loved the f’n and jeff in’ and the clash of viking and Christian in such close quarters.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

There it is, my first 5 star read of the year (and it’s only the 8th)! I so enjoyed this story, a part of the wonderful Darkland Tales series. David Grieg’s tale centers on finding purpose, love, and transformation on the island of Iona in the year 826. This story takes place over roughly one year and, despite its small size, it does a great job of drawing its characters (a young novice monk, a mead wife, and a middle-aged Viking) and its setting beautifully. It is exciting, scary, moving, and funny. I laughed out loud multiple times and shed a tear or two as well. Do yourself a favor and check out this novella!

[Liselotte Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Så fiiiin. Tänker jag flera gånger.
... och sen kommer jag ihåg de bestialiska och blodtörstande vikingarna och deras på-gränsen-till-för-äckliga-scener-framfart i början. Och typ mitten. Och slutet.
Men ändå.
Så fin!
Jag vet egentligen inte alls vad som gör det. Min etniska bakgrund till trots identifierar jag mig varken med vikingar eller kristna. Dessutom händer det inte särskilt mycket - förutom de där på-gränsen-till-för-äckliga-scenerna.
Greig är inte ens irländare (men nära?), så det är ingen undermedveten författaretnicitet-preferens heller. Och orange är fult.

Läste att det nyligen kommit en uppföljare. Mycket möjligt att jag läser den också!

[Simon Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each of the books in The Darkland series to date has been a little gem, but this one is the best yet. It powerfully and succinctly conveys the conflict between two ideologies - Christian and Viking - often in bloody and visceral detail. But it also shows the inner conflicts of Christians questioning their faith, a pagan being drawn towards a Christianity and a woman re finding trust and love after an abusive relationship.
I’ve had the great fortune to visit Iona and despite its small size, it is a wondrous place whether you’re religious or not. It has now spawned this wonderful little book.

[Simeon Pickup · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick, enjoyable, well written book. Very funny when it wants to be and it has some very good characters. The plot is straightforward but effective enough, although the book is more interesting at the beginning and end, somewhat dragging in the middle at times a bit. Not enough to put me off the book though. The book also wants to talk a lot about faith and religion, and in general it did a decent job, but I feel it could have said a bit more about those topics and really nailed down a message. I'm quibbling though, as this was a very fun read

[Andrew James Greig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ho! A book both gentle with the poetry of bees and slick with gore. David's imagining of those early inhabitants of Iona puts flesh on the reliquary, punctures the ball-sack of lust and adds new meaning to 'red sails in the sunset'.

A perfect start to 2024. Sharp as a dagger. Life encapsulated on the tiny holy island our flawed protagonists call home.

You should read it – short and bittersweet. It will stay with you.

[Andy Mac · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a perfect gem of a book: funny, clever, poetic, mystical, violent, wise , heart warming, intriguing, thought provoking, witty, perfectly balanced, characterful, and full of insight - brings the breath of life into history.
Drawing you to the island of Iona the story unfolds in an unhurried way, and in the same way that the island is a tiny, perfect version of Scotland, so this novella contains all you would ever want in a book.

[Michael Rumney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Set on the Island of Iona, referred to as I in the book (was this to save on ink?) we follow 3 characters in the aftermath of a Viking raid. At this point I couldn't help thinking of Robinson Crusoe.
An interesting book with plenty of graphic detail. A very quick read mainly due to its length and I wanted more and felt the Irish girl Una could have been fleshed out a bit more.
Usually my complaint is most books are over written. You couldn't say that about this book.

[Michelle Rock-Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up a copy of this book while staying on the Isle of Mull, just before visiting Iona for the first time. I found the book interesting and was drawn to some of the characters (the mead wife). Perhaps as an atheist I was always going to struggle to feel immersed in a tale of a monk. While the book gave an interesting fictional description of life on Iona during the Viking raids, I felt there was a lack of character development and the descriptions of the stunning landscape fell short.