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Scars That Wound, Scars That Heal: A Journey Out of Self Injury
This is Jackie's story of repeated self-injury and how relationships with those who came alongside her—together with a deeper understanding of God's love and patience—brought her to a place of hope and healing. The Live Free series for teens and young adults tackles real questions about real life—questions about sex, family problems, relationships, body image, and the future. You’ll discover firsthand stories of teens and their personal struggles, journeys, and spiritual healing that comes with real freedom.Each chapter includes Scriptures, journaling prompts, tips for supporting the person seeking help, and questions designed for personal reflection or small group discussion.
237 pages, Paperback
First published September 3, 2007
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60 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 24, 2016
So, first thing I'm going to say (since I know this is a "turn off" for a lot of people) is that this book is written from a Christian perspective.
But the second thing I'm going to say - and the more important thing - is that I don't think the Christian perspective hurt the message of this book in any way. Yes, there are Christian themes woven throughout, but you don't have to be Christian in order to buy into the message of being worthy of unconditional love and acceptance.
I really liked this book. For me, it dragged in a few places - mostly because I was a self-injurer, and a lot of this book felt like it was my story, repeated. But Kern did a very good job in telling Jackie's story, without giving tips or hints regarding self-injurious behaviors. This is far trickier than it sounds, so a definite kudos to Kern.
In each chapter, there's information for those who read this book who aren't self-injurers. Such as:
As a former SI'er, I know that some people thought I cut out of spite - just to hurt them - just to make things more difficult - blah blah blah, on and on it goes. And as a therapist, I know that responding calmly to difficult situations (which, at times, include seeing fresh cuts and hearing graphic descriptions of SI meant to get a reaction from me) is key to me working well with those who self-injure. So this quote makes more sense than it seems.
Kern also made the point at the beginning of the book that she knows that self-injurers are not all women, and not all advice uses female pronouns (as in the above quote). She includes quotes from female and male self-injurers, regarding their stories, in each chapter as well, and at the end of each chapter, includes some journaling work for those who do struggle with self-injury (but could be adapted to anyone - i.e., supporters and those trying to understand). Additionally, it's written in a way that doesn't require writing about God or Jesus if that bothers you. Here's an example:
Highly recommend this for anyone who has friends or family members struggling with SI. Also recommend it for those who self-injure to read in order to know that they aren't alone, and that there IS hope out there. ♥
But the second thing I'm going to say - and the more important thing - is that I don't think the Christian perspective hurt the message of this book in any way. Yes, there are Christian themes woven throughout, but you don't have to be Christian in order to buy into the message of being worthy of unconditional love and acceptance.
I really liked this book. For me, it dragged in a few places - mostly because I was a self-injurer, and a lot of this book felt like it was my story, repeated. But Kern did a very good job in telling Jackie's story, without giving tips or hints regarding self-injurious behaviors. This is far trickier than it sounds, so a definite kudos to Kern.
In each chapter, there's information for those who read this book who aren't self-injurers. Such as:
The person who continues to self-injure isn't trying to make life miserable for you. Be a good model for her as you respond to any frustrations you feel. Patiently talk through your observations, thoughts, and feelings. Show how to react calmly to difficult situations. Demonstrate how you trust God.
As a former SI'er, I know that some people thought I cut out of spite - just to hurt them - just to make things more difficult - blah blah blah, on and on it goes. And as a therapist, I know that responding calmly to difficult situations (which, at times, include seeing fresh cuts and hearing graphic descriptions of SI meant to get a reaction from me) is key to me working well with those who self-injure. So this quote makes more sense than it seems.
Kern also made the point at the beginning of the book that she knows that self-injurers are not all women, and not all advice uses female pronouns (as in the above quote). She includes quotes from female and male self-injurers, regarding their stories, in each chapter as well, and at the end of each chapter, includes some journaling work for those who do struggle with self-injury (but could be adapted to anyone - i.e., supporters and those trying to understand). Additionally, it's written in a way that doesn't require writing about God or Jesus if that bothers you. Here's an example:
* Secrets and fears can keep you from having those really solid, face-to-face relationships that God wants to give you to help you heal and grow. Are there any secrets you are holding on to? (ch. 5, p. 94)
* Joshua (from the Bible) didn't go into battle alone. And Jackie had John, Debbie, and others alongside her as she fought, weak as she was at times. Who do you have alongside you to provide support and encourage you when you experience setbacks? (ch. 9, p. 148)
Highly recommend this for anyone who has friends or family members struggling with SI. Also recommend it for those who self-injure to read in order to know that they aren't alone, and that there IS hope out there. ♥
May 9, 2014
True stories, true hope . . .
In the face of confusing messages in a chaotic world, teens and young adults need to know they don't have to get caught up or stuck in pain and brokenness. There is hope and a story God wants to unfold far greater than any they can imagine. Through her writing and speaking, Jan Kern encourages that discovery.
"I want to stop . . . I feel like I did something to deserve this. When is it going to be over?" These are the words of Jackie, a young girl caught up in the horror world of self-injury, commonly known as "cutting".
As Jan points out, the journey out of this nightmare is not an easy one, but with love and support, it can be achieved. I highly recommend this book for families of self-injurers as well as for youth pastors and others who work with young people.
In the face of confusing messages in a chaotic world, teens and young adults need to know they don't have to get caught up or stuck in pain and brokenness. There is hope and a story God wants to unfold far greater than any they can imagine. Through her writing and speaking, Jan Kern encourages that discovery.
"I want to stop . . . I feel like I did something to deserve this. When is it going to be over?" These are the words of Jackie, a young girl caught up in the horror world of self-injury, commonly known as "cutting".
As Jan points out, the journey out of this nightmare is not an easy one, but with love and support, it can be achieved. I highly recommend this book for families of self-injurers as well as for youth pastors and others who work with young people.
April 6, 2011
I read this book after my son committed suicide in 2007....this is a MUST READ for EVERY PARENT, EDUCATOR, YOUTH PASTOR and FRIEND. the only thing worse then being misunderstood by your peers is being alienated by those you love, recognition needs to be brought to this subject and people who self-injur need to know that they are NOT crazy, they are NOT alone and there is NOTHING wrong with them and no matter WHAT they do, they are still loved unconditionally by the one who created them. I wish I would have known about this book when my son was going through is struggle.
November 28, 2011
This is a story of a girl who used to self harm. It is written by a youth worker at "The Ranch" which I guess is some sort of retreat place for people with a variety of problems. It is a true story and interspersed with the story are interviews with family and friends of Jackie, comments and experiences of other young people who self harm and some thoughts of the author too. It is heavily "Christian" in its approach but it makes no secret of that fact. I think its a very powerful, open and honest book and one that is very needed in today's society
October 13, 2011
I read this book at about 14. I thought I knew everything, I always thought the world was ending when really it wasn't. This book was an eye opener that things could be so much worse and that things can always get better. It's not the end. The drama is not as big as I make it out to be. People say you shouldn't let teenagers read book with sensitive topics. I disagree in this sense. It opened my eyes to a lot of things. While it has a christian air to it, it still had insightful teaching.
January 17, 2009
Got this from the local library: about self injury. Read in a day, a very powerful story about a teen and her quest to heal.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews