Kelsey Parker: With and Without You

by Kelsey Parker

“They say the first year is the hardest.”

Kelsey Parker’s world was turned upside down in the summer of 2020 when her husband Tom, singer in boyband The Wanted, was cruelly diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour.

Heavily pregnant with their second child and coping with her own heartache at losing her partner of 13 years, Kelsey remained a tower of strength and positivity for Tom during his darkest days. When traditional treatments stopped working, she spent hours researching alternative therapies to give her husband extra time with his young children Aurelia and Bodhi.

Hope came late in 2021 when Tom’s tumour became stable, but sadly his condition quickly deteriorated and on March 30, 2022, aged just 33, he died surrounded by his loyal wife, family and friends.

With And Without You is her moving, deeply personal story of the first 12 months since Tom’s tragic passing. An intimate diary of how she coped with a year of unwanted firsts – first birthdays, first Christmas, first Valentine’s Day – all without the love of her life. It is the story of how she rebuilt her life, and bravely found a way to face the future.

Since Tom’s death, Kelsey has been an inspiration to many and a rock to the couple’s children. She has sought to raise awareness of glioblastoma and has bravely campaigned for vital funds for more research into the disease. She has also found spirituality – following Tom’s long held belief there is something greater than just one life.

With and Without You is not only a story of coping with unimaginable heartbreak and grief, but how your love for someone you’ve lost can be turned into something positive and bring hope and light into your life as you carry on your journey without them.

Genres: Nonfiction

288 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 28, 2023

Reviews

[Liv Cornelius · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite repetitive but a very sad memoir nonetheless.

[Becky Drew-Dare · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an emotional book. Kelsey has been through so much and even though this is a book about grief and her first year without Tom, it still feels so positive and just like Toms book - so full of hope for the future!
I really enjoyed this book, obviously some parts were tough to read but it lovely going back to the times when Tom was still here, how they met, how he proposed etc. I really hope Kelsey writes again about how life continues to go for her and her children as I really didn’t want the book to end.

[Aoife · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finding out at 35 weeks pregnant with her second child that her husband had inoperable stage 4 glioblastoma, changed Kelsey’s life forever.

Although the prognosis for Tom wasn’t hopeful, Kelsey was in shock when she lost her husband so soon and became a widow at the age of 31. In this book she recounts how she struggles with survivor’s guilt, how there’s no rule book to grief and how she has struggled through the year of firsts.

It’s a touching read, that acknowledges her grief journey; her struggles, her hopes and fears for her children. I read Tom’s book last year (Book 10, 2023) and knew I wanted to hear the “essential aftermath” or the other side of the story from his carer, wife, partner.

[Kellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this is an emotional and beautiful book. Kelsey has been through so much, losing her soul mate, bringing up 2 small children, and trying to rebuild her life and trying to raise awareness and money for research shows what strength she has.

This is such a raw and honest story, Kelsey told of her real emotion stage by stage. I couldn't imagine being in her shoes. I really enjoyed reading this book. Some parts were hard and sad to read, but I loved the parts where kelsey talks about how she met Tom and how he proposed.

Once i started reading this book, I couldn't put it down. Kelsey is such a truly amazing inspirational woman.

[Tess Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was waiting for this book and it was worth the wait! I have been following Kelsey and Tom’s story since he was first diagnosed and I have taken so much comfort from Kelsey’s grit and strength in dealing with such an unimaginable loss. As someone who is bereaved, seeing her speak so eloquently about how utterly devastating it is to deal with the firsts, telling other people and moving on this book just solidified to me how much of an amazing woman she truly is. A 5/5 read for me.

[Meghan Whincop]

(Not The Kindle Edition - Note)
Such a heartbreaking read. But in a way I needed to start this year with a reflection and this would be the book for it. Its made me sit there and go, live your life, go out there and seek out what you desire. Tom died too young and I'm so pleased Kelsey wrote a book about it. We need more research, we need more funding and we need more support for those affected. Its simple really, but it many ways its not.
1st official book finished! <3

[Holly Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kelsey what an inspirational woman!

The Wanted was never a group I really got to know. But with Tom doing a lot of media before his passing I followed his and Kelsey’s story. It’s so sad.

Kelsey in this book discusses about their life together and her dealing with the loss of her beloveded Tom.

She became a widow at such a young age. The strength she shows towards her children and herself is amazing

I really do recommend this book it’s a very big eye opener into grieving.

[Lisa Willis]

I've not given this a rating as I don't feel you can rate someone's life.

Kelsey has been through so much, in such a short space of time and my heart goes out to her after reading this, the same as it did when it was announced that Tom had died.

I read Tom's book and knew I needed to read Kelsey's story of what they went through as a family.

[Alexis Taft · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kelsey has been through hell the last 2 years loosing the love of her life, bring up 2 small children, lost of family and trying to rebuild her life, she has achieved so much in such a short space of time rising awarness and money for cancer.
Heartbreaking but beautiful Very emotional.
Enjoyed this book.

[Abbie Heath · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is one of the most well written books on grief I have read. She and Lisa have done a fantastic job showing ever side of grief and showing how it comes in waves. I really appreciated this book and will be following kelseys work going forward!

[Rebecca Haynes · Rating 5 out of 5]

So emotional ❤️ I couldn’t put it down once I started it, she told of her real emotion stage by stage that I’m sure was so relatable for so many. Thank you Kelsey for sharing your grief with everyone so openly

[Amy Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very informing book involving the process of grieving. Not a book full of sadness, but more joy and hope that we can all make it through some extremely tough times.

[Poppy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking, but amazing to hear her story with and without Tom. Amazing to raise awareness

[gem · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a raw and honest story about what Kelsey has gone through. I couldn't imagine being in her shoes. Heartbroken for her by the end.

[Eyre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would absolutely recommend, especially for any one who has suffered loss through cancer. I think I read 80% of the book through tears 😭

[Cassie Feist · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading Toms book and watching their documentary it was good to read Kelsey’s story. Sad but such an honest book.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars ⭐️

What an emotional read… heartbreaking how cruel life can be sometimes 💔 my thoughts go out to the Parkers 🕊️🤍

[Hilary Cockshaw · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audiobook

[Grace Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Woweee! What an amazing book this is and an amazing lady Kelsey Parker is. A raw but beautiful story of what her life is now like as a widow. If anyone gets the chance to read this book then I would recommend it! 🤍