Okay, so, this is one of those books that it is going to be very difficult for me to do justice to in mere words. Even the blurb, which was written by far more eloquent and creative people than I, doesn’t adequately communicate what this book is really about. What I really want to say to you is, just read the book, you need to do so to appreciate it and you won’t regret it, I promise. However, I realise that everyone, including the author and the publisher, are expecting a little more from me by way of review for a blog tour than that, so I’ll give it a go.
This book is that brilliant but elusive blend of comedy and pathos that is writing gold when struck perfectly but is almost impossible to achieve in ideal balance. I am not sure whether it is natural talent or consummate skill that has allowed the author here to hit that sweet spot, but manage it she has, and in a way that feels effortless. This book has had me by turn laughing out loud and on the verge of tears, which is exactly what you want when you are exploring the subject matter that is covered in this book, because it is one of those topics when you meet them in real life make people say, ‘well, you have to laugh or you’d cry.’
Penny is all of us who have ever felt that we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders and managing it all by ourselves. My tribe of ‘middle aged’ (don’t you hate that label) women – wives and mothers and daughters and sisters and friends and carers and career women – who feel that they just have to do everything and be perfect at it all so that we aren’t disappointing everyone else in our lives who believe we are superwomen and should be able to manage whilst they just get on with whatever it is they are doing, and all the while we feel inadequate, overwhelmed and, let’s face it, lonely. Wow, have I just revealed a lot of personal information about myself? Well, never mind because it’s true and I know I am not alone or even unusual and it is about time we started saying it. So bravo to the author and the publisher for being brave enough to publish a book about women who don’t have it all and admit that it isn’t even possible to do so in most cases. Reality, that is what you will find between these pages.
However, if that sounds a bit depressing, here comes the real genius of this book. It isn’t. Because this book is funny and uplifting and full of hope and compassion and it acknowledges that these are also factors of real life. In amongst all the struggle and difficulty of life for the generation that is trying to juggle caring for children and parents and their own lives and relationships at the same time, is the truth that there are many moments of happiness and fun and love and gratitude and the knowledge that we do all of this for the love of the people we are caring for and that in the end mostly it is all actually worth it. We just need to stop and acknowledge that from time to time. At the same time we need to remind ourselves that we are not superhuman, we are just people with limitations and our own needs and dreams and that we are allowed to make room for those too in amongst all the demands of everyone else that we care about.
I really, really loved this book. It is such an honest portrayal of what it means to be a women of the ‘sandwich generation’ who are juggling parenting and parents and jobs and relationships and just life and that many of us find it hard. It reflects reality in a way that is relatable but full of humour and optimism and left me feeling uplifted and hopeful and, above all, SEEN. Being at an age where we can start to feel invisible to everyone unless they need something from us, this is no small thing and was probably the most rewarding thing that I took from this book. I am not alone, I am not unusual, life can be hard but we are in it together and it is okay to acknowledge that and ask for help. In fact, it is the only way to avoid collapsing under the strain. We need more books like this and I can’t wait to see what this author does next.