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The After: A Veteran's Notes on Coming Home
When Michael Ramos enlisted in the Navy and was assigned to serve as a chaplain’s bodyguard thirteen days before 9/11, he had no idea he would soon be sent to Iraq. But he embraced the posting, combat service, and career for a decade, until, at age thirty-four, the military told him his skill set was no longer relevant. Through divorce and remarriage, his son's choice to enlist in the Marines, the loss of friends to war and suicide, and his inability to sleep or rest, Michael struggled with the return to civilian life, and particularly with civilian attitudes toward veterans.
In twenty-four concussive, embodied, and nonlinear essays, Michael creates a challenging and complex portrait of what it means to be a warrior, civilian, veteran, father, husband, and teacher—for he ultimately uses the skills he developed in the military to help others find meaning in their lives. While this may sound like a redemption story, it is instead a brutally honest portrayal that refuses easy answers and seeks to help other war veterans realize they're not alone as they search for their place in the world.
Michael Ramos is a writer and Iraq war veteran. He teaches creative writing and publishing at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington.
In twenty-four concussive, embodied, and nonlinear essays, Michael creates a challenging and complex portrait of what it means to be a warrior, civilian, veteran, father, husband, and teacher—for he ultimately uses the skills he developed in the military to help others find meaning in their lives. While this may sound like a redemption story, it is instead a brutally honest portrayal that refuses easy answers and seeks to help other war veterans realize they're not alone as they search for their place in the world.
Michael Ramos is a writer and Iraq war veteran. He teaches creative writing and publishing at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington.
- GenresWar
156 pages, Paperback
Published March 5, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
March 31, 2024
The chief difficulty with reviewing this book is what it has in common with conspiracist thinking, to wit that any criticism is folded right into what it's criticizing. Challenge a conspiracy theorist and you're part of the conspiracy. Challenge this memoir's take on military life, or on civilians, and that's because you're one of the annoying Civilians Who Just Don't Understand. Nevertheless, here goes: the experience of reading The After made me wonder whether this was what my therapist feels like when I vomit unprocessed emotions all over her without letting her get a word in edgewise. This book isn't so much a memoir as a reliving -- or, to put that another way, it's emotion recollected in no tranquility whatsoever.
Some of the points Ramos insists on beggar belief, which is to say that it's hard not to smell denial in the air. He expresses so much grief for his dead fellows, yet he claims to feel no fear for his son, who has just enlisted with the Marines. In the foreword, he writes: "if you’re a civilian reader and think I’m angry with you, ask yourself if you’re doing the things I call out, like assuming I’m a hero or a victim, or wanting my story to meet your expectations, for example. If these things don’t apply to you, then don’t worry about it." I'm uneasy about credentialing myself, but here goes anyway: my beloved father was a WWII Polish soldier who for obvious reasons became a POW in Germany more or less instantly, and I've read enough military history and accounts of soldiers' lives that I don't think I walked into The After with a lot of presuppositions about What Soldiers Are Like. Yet I sure did feel as if I was being raged at for being a civilian at all. Make of that what you will.
And consider a passage like this, in which Ramos describes a conversation with another soldier when they're both posted on Okinawa: "Sixty years ago. Men our age. In our same companies fought, sometimes to the last man, here. I stopped talking. Yeah, it’s heavy, he said after a long pause. A huge legacy to live up to, he said. He looked across the ground into the distance with those blue eyes of his. A lot of tradition, he said." Ah. Well, WWII, like all wars, was replete with atrocity, but a "tradition" of US forces in the Pacific during that war was to not take Japanese prisoners, and, fine, I'm a civilian so my opinion doesn't count, but there's something morally obtuse in getting misty-eyed here. Or at least in honoring the courage without acknowledging what often accompanied it.
There's a lot of value in The After, for example the passages that articulate grief and guilt over the deaths of Ramos's fellow soldiers, and in Ramos's descriptions of the daily experience of soldiering in Iraq: "We hadn’t eaten anything in days because you couldn’t open your canteens to fill the MRE heater because the water would turn to mud from the grit and the sand would fill an open MRE pouch in seconds and no one wanted to eat spoonfuls of sand. We were sick of MREs anyway."
All that having been said, even a civilian is capable of knowing what unprocessed trauma looks like, and The After is one long outpouring of unprocessed trauma, whether it would piss Michael Ramos off to hear me say so or not. The more I read, the more I thought about John Keegan's book The Face of Battle, Denis Winter's Death's Men, and Jonathan Shay's Achilles in Vietnam -- and the many other documentary accounts of soldiers' wars -- and the more skeptical I became.
I'll close with something Jonathan Shay says in his Odysseus in America: "Modern battle is a condition of captivity (even when it has been entered voluntarily), a fact that has escaped notice because the captives move about in the open carrying powerful weapons, and because the role of captor is cooperatively shared by the two enemy military organizations — which are presumed to cooperate in nothing. 'Primitive' warfare, of which Iliadic warfare is an example, is and was voluntary — Achilles really could say, 'I quit.' Modern combat is a condition of enslavement and torture."
[ETA: I had a look at reviews by readers who identify themselves as vets, and their responses incline me toward a somewhat different take: The After made them feel seen, I'd say exactly by articulating the unprocessed trauma that, for me, makes the book less effective as a memoir. That's something of great value and I don't mean to minimize it. But I can only read as me.]
Thanks to the University of North Carolina Press and NetGalley for the ARC.
Some of the points Ramos insists on beggar belief, which is to say that it's hard not to smell denial in the air. He expresses so much grief for his dead fellows, yet he claims to feel no fear for his son, who has just enlisted with the Marines. In the foreword, he writes: "if you’re a civilian reader and think I’m angry with you, ask yourself if you’re doing the things I call out, like assuming I’m a hero or a victim, or wanting my story to meet your expectations, for example. If these things don’t apply to you, then don’t worry about it." I'm uneasy about credentialing myself, but here goes anyway: my beloved father was a WWII Polish soldier who for obvious reasons became a POW in Germany more or less instantly, and I've read enough military history and accounts of soldiers' lives that I don't think I walked into The After with a lot of presuppositions about What Soldiers Are Like. Yet I sure did feel as if I was being raged at for being a civilian at all. Make of that what you will.
And consider a passage like this, in which Ramos describes a conversation with another soldier when they're both posted on Okinawa: "Sixty years ago. Men our age. In our same companies fought, sometimes to the last man, here. I stopped talking. Yeah, it’s heavy, he said after a long pause. A huge legacy to live up to, he said. He looked across the ground into the distance with those blue eyes of his. A lot of tradition, he said." Ah. Well, WWII, like all wars, was replete with atrocity, but a "tradition" of US forces in the Pacific during that war was to not take Japanese prisoners, and, fine, I'm a civilian so my opinion doesn't count, but there's something morally obtuse in getting misty-eyed here. Or at least in honoring the courage without acknowledging what often accompanied it.
There's a lot of value in The After, for example the passages that articulate grief and guilt over the deaths of Ramos's fellow soldiers, and in Ramos's descriptions of the daily experience of soldiering in Iraq: "We hadn’t eaten anything in days because you couldn’t open your canteens to fill the MRE heater because the water would turn to mud from the grit and the sand would fill an open MRE pouch in seconds and no one wanted to eat spoonfuls of sand. We were sick of MREs anyway."
All that having been said, even a civilian is capable of knowing what unprocessed trauma looks like, and The After is one long outpouring of unprocessed trauma, whether it would piss Michael Ramos off to hear me say so or not. The more I read, the more I thought about John Keegan's book The Face of Battle, Denis Winter's Death's Men, and Jonathan Shay's Achilles in Vietnam -- and the many other documentary accounts of soldiers' wars -- and the more skeptical I became.
I'll close with something Jonathan Shay says in his Odysseus in America: "Modern battle is a condition of captivity (even when it has been entered voluntarily), a fact that has escaped notice because the captives move about in the open carrying powerful weapons, and because the role of captor is cooperatively shared by the two enemy military organizations — which are presumed to cooperate in nothing. 'Primitive' warfare, of which Iliadic warfare is an example, is and was voluntary — Achilles really could say, 'I quit.' Modern combat is a condition of enslavement and torture."
[ETA: I had a look at reviews by readers who identify themselves as vets, and their responses incline me toward a somewhat different take: The After made them feel seen, I'd say exactly by articulating the unprocessed trauma that, for me, makes the book less effective as a memoir. That's something of great value and I don't mean to minimize it. But I can only read as me.]
Thanks to the University of North Carolina Press and NetGalley for the ARC.
February 7, 2024
I just finished this book from Michael Ramos and wow. If you’re a post 9/11 GWOT veteran or want to get inside of the mind of one, check out this book. Although the book could technically be read in a little more than one sitting, I highly advise that you do like I did and read it a story or two at a time. Each chapter is a semi interconnected part of the whole, but each story can also stand alone. Some of them take the shape of a memoir giving you facts, names, dates and locations which is fitting to telling war stories. Some chapters are essentially one long frantic sentence giving you neither rest nor peace as you enter the literal mind of someone processing their experience and all the thoughts that cascade as an uncontrollable torrent. Those i personally related to and the tension I felt was very uncomfortable and it was by design. I loved / hated those chapters. This short book gives you a front row seat to both war and coming home and although it doesn’t pull any punches, it also doesn’t paint veterans as victims and that’s the best part of all. He illustrates struggles but doesn’t dwell there, he shows that as a community we are capable of going to war AND coming home and getting on with our lives. Great work Michael!
December 11, 2023
As an avid reader of war books, I was disappointed with Michael Ramos' "The After." While I appreciate his service as a Religious Program Specialist in the Navy, his bitterness towards his own career is evident throughout the book.
Michael Ramos wanted to be a Marine in 2001, but 9/11 had not happened yet and no positions were available. He joined the Navy instead. However, Ramos seems to be bitter about his unglorified post as a Religious Program Specialist in the Navy. If he wanted to be a true warrior, he should have tried becoming a SEAL or a Navy SWCC, who are personnel within the United States Naval Special Warfare Command. Instead, he became a salty sailor. Being an RP is honorable and excellent, but I felt that he was unsatisfied with his career.
Ramos seems to wish he had been a remarkable war hero who fought in countless firefights or suffered grave injuries, instead of just an RP with a ho-hum Navy career. He constantly talks about "my Marines" and his Marine uniform and boots, which is annoying because he saw little combat action.
Furthermore, his writing style is too creative, with run-on sentences and paragraphs that go on for pages. While I respect Ramos and appreciate his service, this is the worst war book I have ever read. I have read dozens of war books, and this one falls short.
This book could be useful for those want to hear about the struggles that war veterans face when they return home, but I believe other books do a better job doing that.
DISCLOSURE: My wife is a happy Navy Corpsman who is also embedded with the Marines. She loves her job.
Michael Ramos wanted to be a Marine in 2001, but 9/11 had not happened yet and no positions were available. He joined the Navy instead. However, Ramos seems to be bitter about his unglorified post as a Religious Program Specialist in the Navy. If he wanted to be a true warrior, he should have tried becoming a SEAL or a Navy SWCC, who are personnel within the United States Naval Special Warfare Command. Instead, he became a salty sailor. Being an RP is honorable and excellent, but I felt that he was unsatisfied with his career.
Ramos seems to wish he had been a remarkable war hero who fought in countless firefights or suffered grave injuries, instead of just an RP with a ho-hum Navy career. He constantly talks about "my Marines" and his Marine uniform and boots, which is annoying because he saw little combat action.
Furthermore, his writing style is too creative, with run-on sentences and paragraphs that go on for pages. While I respect Ramos and appreciate his service, this is the worst war book I have ever read. I have read dozens of war books, and this one falls short.
This book could be useful for those want to hear about the struggles that war veterans face when they return home, but I believe other books do a better job doing that.
DISCLOSURE: My wife is a happy Navy Corpsman who is also embedded with the Marines. She loves her job.
November 28, 2023
"The After" by Michael Ramos is a gripping exploration of a post-apocalyptic world where humanity faces the aftermath of a catastrophic event. Ramos skillfully crafts a narrative that follows a diverse cast of characters as they navigate the challenges of survival, examining the complexities of human nature in the face of adversity.
The author's vivid descriptions and evocative prose paint a stark picture of a shattered society, emphasizing the resilience and vulnerabilities of the human spirit. The character development is exceptional, with each individual contributing to the overarching story in unique ways. Ramos weaves together elements of suspense, emotion, and introspection, creating a multifaceted tale that keeps readers engaged from start to finish.
"The After" stands out not only for its well-paced plot and intricate world-building but also for its thoughtful exploration of morality and the essence of humanity. It prompts readers to reflect on their own values and priorities, making it a thought-provoking read. Michael Ramos has delivered a compelling work of speculative fiction that resonates long after the final page, leaving an indelible mark on the reader's imagination.
The author's vivid descriptions and evocative prose paint a stark picture of a shattered society, emphasizing the resilience and vulnerabilities of the human spirit. The character development is exceptional, with each individual contributing to the overarching story in unique ways. Ramos weaves together elements of suspense, emotion, and introspection, creating a multifaceted tale that keeps readers engaged from start to finish.
"The After" stands out not only for its well-paced plot and intricate world-building but also for its thoughtful exploration of morality and the essence of humanity. It prompts readers to reflect on their own values and priorities, making it a thought-provoking read. Michael Ramos has delivered a compelling work of speculative fiction that resonates long after the final page, leaving an indelible mark on the reader's imagination.
October 12, 2023
I received this ARC, I was curious about what the book could be like. It is not my normal read or genre, but I know many veterans and active military. The book was very well written and very raw. It details stories that are impactful to the veteran and goes through what life was like while in the military, some insight into things that they experienced, and what life was like when he returned home. I loved how Ramos prefaced the book by addressing civilians who had not had military experience. He mentions that he seemed angry at civilians, but that was untrue. He was just.. angry. Ramos uses his words and this book to express to civilians that military life is not talked about much; they don't always share their stories, not because they are looking out for others but for themselves. I loved reading this and think anyone who has ever asked someone who has returned home from deployment to "tell their story" should read this first.
June 30, 2025
What a deeply resonant narrative of one man's service experiences, especially the return home! A gripping narrative which shows and stirs the full depth and breadth of emotions. Ramos's voice is defiant, optimistic, pessimistic, angry, and altogether a full jumble of contradictions from the terrifying to the prosaic. Having read such powerful writers as Tim O’Brien, Elliot Ackerman, Karl Marlantes, Paul Fussell, and Samuel Hynes, Ramos's honesty and style is in every sense their equal. I have found myself turning over in my head the optimism, the pathos, the bitterness, and the need for an audience that Ramos conveys. Every American should read this before mindlessly and automatically thanking every vet for his or her service.
January 16, 2026
This series of essays provides a peek into a veteran's mind. Michael Ramos enlisted 13 days before 9/11 and served 11+ years in Iraq. He discusses the ugliness of coming home, how no one can understand what he's been through but his own fellow veterans, and how the loss of his friends became the new normal. There are a lot of touching quotes and moments in this book. I understand his thoughts on telling war stories and how no civilians will understand his experience, but I ask why he wrote the book then. Isn't the story supposed to provide insight to people who don't understand? Isn't it supposed to teach civilians how to best respect and care for our veterans?
April 8, 2024
This is an important book about a topic that is usually told by someone with an agenda. Here, Ramos writes honestly and lyrically about coming home from war. His sentences are dazzling and he manipulates time in such a way that we're revisiting themes and events -- never in a repetitive way, but in a way that feels true to memory. I really enjoyed reading this book.
April 27, 2024
Love everything about this book. Appreciate the honesty and wisdom. There are so many gray areas in life, and this author encourages veterans and civilians alike to acknowledge and embrace any emotions attached to them. The After is a gritty and respectful take on post-military life. There is a broad spectrum of veteran POVs, and this one resonated with me.
July 11, 2024
I’ve read lots of post Vietnam and other post war books and probably a fair that could be characterized as victim or hero tales - Ramos’ categories. This is certainly an interesting take but pretty clear to me there’s a lot more anger than Ramos admits too. Service is certainly admirable but it’s not either or
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September 25, 2024I don't tend to rate memoir's or essay collections that are personal essays. Because it seems to much like judging their lives. But I did enjoy reading this collection and I did learn a lot. And why I know every military vet's experience is different. This essay collection shows that being a Veteran is complex and can't be summed up in a single word or even phrase.
December 27, 2025
Very good! The author stated that he wrote the book for other Marines and combat veterans, which is perhaps what made the book successful. I appreciated the breadth and depth of stories in this collection.
September 8, 2024
Marvelous. Both in terms of content and craft. Loved the matter-of-fact tone, the humor, and the urgent nature of many of the essays.
January 3, 2026
"I think that's why the poor, poor me vet story irritates me so much. Do some people struggle? Yes. Are those vets the majority? No."
A brilliant collection of essays that more or less carve a character arc from Michael Ramos, a writing instructor and Marine vet. The thing I take away most from reading this is how important it is to be reminded, as a veteran, that your story or who you are or your identity as a vet doesn't need to fall into these preconceived stereotypes of the "poor poor me vet" or of the chest-thumping "American hero" or any of that shit society's gonna lay on ya. And that's fucking good to hear. Reading "The After" I was very much reminded of what it felt like to be career-minded, to take pride in your professionalism as a uniformed member of the armed forces, and to want to teach other soldiers how to close with and kill the enemy. More from Ramos:
"The government invested a lot of money in us and in making us resilient and adaptable and strong and successful. They taught us how not to quit or fail. And so many of us are out here raising our families, holding down jobs, taking the good our service has taught us and using it to better our communities. But all people want to hear is how messed up we are. How monstrous we are. How detached. How broken. I don't understand why. And I don't understand why my story has to be what someone else expects."
A powerful reminder that vets aren't always what you expect them to be. And for any vets out there in academia or embarking upon some college credits or still learning to cope with life outside the military, with the culture shock of civilians and their preconceived notions of you, this is a must-read.
A brilliant collection of essays that more or less carve a character arc from Michael Ramos, a writing instructor and Marine vet. The thing I take away most from reading this is how important it is to be reminded, as a veteran, that your story or who you are or your identity as a vet doesn't need to fall into these preconceived stereotypes of the "poor poor me vet" or of the chest-thumping "American hero" or any of that shit society's gonna lay on ya. And that's fucking good to hear. Reading "The After" I was very much reminded of what it felt like to be career-minded, to take pride in your professionalism as a uniformed member of the armed forces, and to want to teach other soldiers how to close with and kill the enemy. More from Ramos:
"The government invested a lot of money in us and in making us resilient and adaptable and strong and successful. They taught us how not to quit or fail. And so many of us are out here raising our families, holding down jobs, taking the good our service has taught us and using it to better our communities. But all people want to hear is how messed up we are. How monstrous we are. How detached. How broken. I don't understand why. And I don't understand why my story has to be what someone else expects."
A powerful reminder that vets aren't always what you expect them to be. And for any vets out there in academia or embarking upon some college credits or still learning to cope with life outside the military, with the culture shock of civilians and their preconceived notions of you, this is a must-read.
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