Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse: A Guide toward Protection, Refuge, and Hope

by Chris Moles

Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse is a comprehensive, Christ-centered response to the spiritual, emotional, and physical harm that domestic abuse causes to the abused spouse, the abusive spouse, and their children.

Written by an experienced team of biblical counselors, Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse editor Chris Moles and contributors Darby Strickland, Joy Forrest, Greg Wilson, Kirsten Christianson, and Beth Broom are all leaders in biblical domestic abuse ministry in the local church. Each chapter of the book provides a detailed overview of how to minister biblically and faithfully to both the abusers and the abused.

Topics addressed include the biblical and theological foundations for counseling each family member impacted by domestic abuse, direction on how to counsel the victims (spouse and children) and the abuser, and how to offer practical, actionable help to protect families from harm.A field manual for pastors and counselors in domestic violence prevention, intervention, and education.Common tactics of domestic abuse and a biblical response are outlined.Key resource for the conservative evangelical church to understand and respond to this widespread problem.

Genres: Counselling, Christian, Abuse

249 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 18, 2023

Reviews

[Peter Louie · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book, Chris Moles calls us to great patience and humility in dealing with abuse. He calls us to benefit from the years of wisdom and experience of his contributors so we don’t have to make unnecessary mistakes when dealing with real lives. The book covers important topics such as how to recognize abuse, how to recognize trauma and prioritize the safety of victims, how the church can respond using a team approach and church discipline, and how to assess for repentance in perpetrators. There are specific chapters on how to counsel victims, oppressors, and even children.

While dealing with abuse is a daunting task, the church has a great privilege and responsibility to call perpetrators of oppression to repentance and to work with the oppressed within their own congregations. This book shows us that domestic abuse is a matter of gospel witness and integrity, demonstrating how Christ loves his bride and showing that God cares about doing justice and loving mercy. To paraphrase Dr. Diane Langberg, if we open our eyes to see those that are suffering, we may begin to realize that trauma is perhaps the greatest mission field of the 21st century.

What I appreciated most about Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse was seeing how loving abuse victims and loving perpetrators of abuse were not conflicting goals that were at odds with each other. In particular, it was encouraging to hear Wilson’s and Moles’s heart for perpetrators of abuse.

Moles calls us to love and confront abusers with gentleness. He warns that the temptation when dealing with abusers is to become like them: angry, manipulative, controlling and demeaning. He instead calls us to be controlled by the Spirit and to use power meekly. We don’t correct abusive men by “bullying the bully,” strong arming them and showing up at their home with a group of larger men to intimate or threaten the abuser into better behavior. Instead we exercise gentleness.

“Gentleness does not mean soft or suggest a lack of resolve. In fact, gentleness as practically applied to one’s life will more than likely view our own position or power as a means to serve others rather than a weapon to cause them harm. Gentleness positions us in stark contrast to the abusive person. We are not coercive or demeaning; rather, we use our strength and position to call him to repentance.” (p.110-111.)

For the rest of my book review, read here: https://bit.ly/3ZivViB

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is another excellent resource, but one we all wish didn’t need to exist. Sadly, the stain of domestic abuse (or intimate partner violence, or family violence) spreads throughout families, and Christian homes are not untouched. It is edited by Chris Moles, who is a pastor, biblical counsellor, and works with perpetrators. He has brought together experienced people in this field, providing a guide to care for families caught in domestic violence. It is comprehensive, covering numerous aspects: church response, victim care, perpetrator accountability & counselling, and the impact on children. A very worthwhile resource for anyone in Christian churches who is counselling or working with families affected by domestic violence, or looking to establish a ministry to do so.

For a more detailed review see: https://musingsinadelaide.blogspot.co...

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I offer my cautious yet genuine recommendation of this book. It is the clearest, most helpful book on abuse among the many books I have looked through. I appreciated most of all Chris Moles' honest admission on page 12, that the issue of domestic abuse is "not new to the church, but has been recently reframed as a problem for the church to speak into." While I wish Chris Moles had followed up on that statement to describe for us how the church has historically dealt with domestic abuse, overall, his approach and that of the other authors was to root their teaching in the Bible and acknowledge the critical importance of the church.