update: i’m officially swearing off all tessa bailey books
i went into this with no expectations since i’m not the biggest fan of tessa’s writing, but i thought the story would be entertaining. i mean, it’s hard to go wrong with marriage of convenience ... usually.
our main guy, sumner, is this potential-star hockey player from canada, playing in the usa. but he won’t be able to stay in the country and make his way up the hockey levels if he doesn’t get a green card – enter britta, sister of sumner’s teammate, bartender at their favorite bar, and girl sumner has been swooning over since he met her. the two get married despite britta’s opposition to commitment, sumner gets his green card, and we all live happily ever after!
first of all, tessa i know this is a novella but you could at least do some research. as a sport management major, it was physically painful to read the way hockey was described in this. sumner couldn’t play hockey in canada ... why exactly? they’re literally known for their hockey. also ... he would almost definitely play more than one month before being called up to the big leagues.
and the green card stuff? it was the main plot point at first but was apparently resolved not even halfway through? you don’t get a green card just for going to an interview with your wife and answering all the questions correctly. it would also take longer than, what five months? i don’t remember how long but it’s not unlikely that this process takes over a year.
aside from these major issues, the romance was just so fucking weird. the unrequited love sumner had for britta was awkward to read about. him constantly talking about being obsessed specifically with eating her out, when she had never shown an ounce of interest in him, made me beyond uncomfortable.
side note: the word “wife” was used FORTY FIVE TIMES. in 126 pages. how is this even possible.
the characters had no personalities other than sumner’s obsession with britta and britta’s trust issues + shitty dad. she also acted so naive for her age i actually don’t remember how old she is but it was probably 25ish idk.
and don’t even get me started on the smut. i can’t even talk about it. here’s some quotes:
That’s how I greet that swollen bud, with a gentle pressing of my lips, before I quite honestly lick the sweet hell out of it. I know my fucking job, and I perform it, spreading her hot legs wide and tonguing that creamy wife pussy until I forget to breathe.
I twist my fingers around, thanking God for making them long, finding that rough spot inside her and tickling it fast, so fast, while my tongue exploits her clit between my tongue and bottom lip—and she blasts off, a stick of dynamite that has reached the end of its fuse.
“You’re going to objectify me. Is that what you’re saying?”
“Dead ass.”
“You’re the only one I’ll ever give it to, tight girl.”
alright well! on that note, save yourself and don’t read this. i literally cannot think of a single redeeming factor so ... one sad, awkward star.
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if i hate this i’m officially swearing off all tessa bailey books