All Friends Are Necessary

by Tomas Moniz

In this joyous, big-hearted novel, Tomas Moniz delivers a commanding new story about the power of friendship, community, and the families we create for ourselves.

Efren “Chino” Flores has just moved back to the Bay Area from Seattle, jumping from sublet to sublet. In Washington, he was a beloved middle school biology teacher with a loving wife, and a child on the way until a stunning loss changed his life. Now, he’s working temp jobs, terrified of commitment, and struggling to put himself back out into the world.

But there to nurture Chino is a coterie of new and old friends and lovers who form a protective web around him. Closest to him are Metal Matt, a red-haired metalhead with a soft spot for Courtney Love and a rangy dog named Sabbath, and Mike and Kay, a couple whose literary edge is matched only by the success of their secret OnlyFans account. As Chino begins to date more men and women—and to open himself up again to love—his bonds with other people grow both rich and profound. Like a fern blooming in the wake of a forest fire, new life comes after even the most devastating upheaval.

With gorgeous, heart-rending detail and a seemingly infinite catalogue of tender, unexpected interactions, Tomas Moniz has created a striking mosaic of desire and belonging that will appeal to fans of Garth Greenwell, Jaquira Díaz, and Patricia Lockwood. An anthem to both queer and platonic love, All Friends Are Necessary evinces the wonder of friendship and the joy of giving yourself up to the essential force of community.

Genres: Fiction, Queer, Contemporary, LGBT, Adult, Literary Fiction, Realistic Fiction

288 pages, Hardcover

Published June 11, 2024

About the author

TOMAS MONIZ is a latinx writer living in Oakland, CA. His debut novel, Big Familia, was a finalist for the 2020 PEN/Hemingway, the LAMBDA, and the Foreward Indies Awards. He edited the popular Rad Dad and Rad Families anthologies. He’s the recipient of the prestigious SF Literary Arts Foundation’s 2016 Award, the 2020 Artist Affiliate for Headlands Center for Arts, and the 2023 Lucas Artists Residency Program Fellow. Among the residencies he's attended the 2022 UCross Residency, the 2020 Caldera Residency, the 2018 SPACE on Ryder Farm and others. He teaches creative writing at Berkeley City College, Ariel Gore’s Literary Kitchen, and the Antioch MFA program. He has stuff on the internet but loves penpals: PO Box 3555, Berkeley CA 94703. He promises to write back.

Reviews

[Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the themes of friendship, grief, and life being a mess in one’s adult years. Unfortunately the prose was too dry and abstract for me to form a deeper connection with the characters. Still, I could see the heart invested in the novel and I’m glad to see nuanced portrayals of characters of color.

[Amina · Rating 2 out of 5]

✰ 2 stars ✰

​ “​Friends you need to let go and hopefully, eventually, welcome back.
And they’re all necessary. All friends are necessary.”​

Tomas Moniz's latest novel All Friends Are Necessary is an ode to friendship and the joys and trials that come within a group of friends who weather the storms together through the eyes of the main character, Chino - a young man fresh off the path of a palpable heartache that came in a tragedy that broke off his marriage. With candid heart-to-heart, intimate reflections, it was a vivid portrayal of emotional connections with personal touches that are both humorous and emotional, it draws upon the aftermaths of the pandemic, while also learning to cope with it in their lives. 🫂🫂

“All your pain and all your joy. All the ridiculous memories and regrets and mistakes: Why would you want to leave all those memories of family and friends and broken hearts and birth and death behind?”

It may not be a bad book, but it is definitely not a book for me. Despite the instances in which I drew upon the characters, it was still very difficult to care about any of the cast. Yes, they felt like real-life friends, the dialogues and interactions felt believable - honest to a fault with each other - but there were other discerning factors that made it a challenging read. 😕​ A certain detachment to the depiction that made it difficult for me to actually enjoy it.

Written in a writing style that did not suit me, nor a character-driven story that particularly appealed to me, it was with a mostly unsatisfied and disgruntled feeling in which I concluded my read. 😐 The reality is that including COVID and how we coped with the pandemic has become a norm in contemporary literary fiction. And it makes sense, considering we do write what we know about and what we have lived. Denying its existence now seems nonsensical, because it did change our lives. So I feel that me being dismayed by having it mentioned feels unwarranted.​ 😮‍💨

I appreciate what it was trying to do for the MC, Chino. How after he and his wife suffered a crippling loss that led to their separation, he had his friends to be there for him - to be that saving grace in whatever capacity they could offer in whatever means they wished to give. That feeling of belonging and wanting and love ​is human nature​ - esp with the means of having spent so much time separated and in isolation - we all had to deal with it in our own ways, which Moniz touched upon with Chino. 'When I feel like nothing will change, I remind myself to trust my friends, who love me. And to listen to my heart, its constant rhythm.' It can be a make or break moment for friendships to endure or crumble; fortunately, for Chino, even as the relationships that mattered tempered into something more significant and meaningful, it was with good intentions and a tender and compassionate heart in which Chino appreciated how much they deeply cared for him.​ 🫶🏻

“Grieving is a thing no one teaches you how to do. It’s a process. It’s living through it, and it’s running away from it, and dismissing it and reliving it and returning to it again and again.”​

Grief plays a significant factor in the storyline. it's something that in a way dictates many of Chino's decisions and choices, ultimately, which does lead him to the closing act of his life. There are many losses that are weighing heavily on Chino - ones that he tries to bury deep by returning to his family home, or starting up a passionate relationship with an older woman or an attractive man, striking up a lingering attraction with a best friend, or even reaching out to his former wife - perhaps, the only one who understands best the loss that they are both grieving.​ ❤️‍🩹

I felt that part of the story, along with how committed he was to his teaching position, was nicely touched upo​n - the emotional intensity of his feelings resonated with me. It ultimately culminates in a conclusion that has Chino feel grateful and appreciative of what he has been blessed with and learning that it is the hardships and trauma of life or even the happy accidents - the unplanned-for events of your life that shape into the friendships that define your life. 'Perhaps it’s simply destiny, maybe even kismet.'​ 🥺

However, the writing ​still left much to be desired. The ending left an unpleasant taste in my month. I was not satisfied with the way the relationships eventually reached a point, although, perhaps, nowadays, it seems to be something that has become a bit of a norm​, establishing a found family of friendship as the ideal way of embracing life and happiness. 😥 And I wasn't too happy with it. It's also the feeling of forcing oneself to read, while also not really enjoying the character dynamics is a struggle, one which I sadly felt. It's also disappointing that out of a handful of characters, I can only recall a few names; that's how uninteresting it was to me. 😮‍💨​ It is also a shame that this was yet another novel that suffered from the lack of quotation marks. Is this a new trend that has been adopted? Which, surprisingly only seems to be coming from debut writers, so maybe it is a new thing they're hoping to bring into fashion; unfortunately, it makes for a much harder read.​

Suffice to say, I'm sure there is an audience for these books. I am always grateful I give it a shot, because of how the blurb interests me. It's just the execution that falls so spectacularly short for what I KNOW that I like that I cannot find myself to return to it.​ 😔

[gracie · Rating 2 out of 5]

dnf @ 35%

I love that the mc, Chico, is dealing with and trying to heal from such a great loss in the book. The focus being on this and him coming to realize that trusting his friends to be there for him in this time is really what I look for in books. However the writing style just doesn't make this interesting for me to read.

[Christopher Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

ALL FRIENDS ARE NECESSARY has the adrenaline rush of flash fiction. It's queer, politically-minded, and hast a cast of friends who love hard and desire a better world.

[Courtney Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heavy story that spans several years including 2020 and handles Covid and lockdown. It’s about a grieving man whose baby was still born and he lost his wife in that grief storm. He moves back to the bay area of San Francisco and rekindles old friendships as well as gains new ones. Very deep. Probably won’t do as well though cause no one wants to read about 2020. Or at least I sure don’t.

[Lauren Oertel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Realistic yet comforting, All Friends Are Necessary gives readers a heartwarming story to help us remember what matters most in surviving and thriving in all of life's messiness. With equal parts grief and joy (and a healthy dose of nature’s wonders), this novel celebrates the beauty of all of the found families, loving friendships, and unconventional life situations we might find ourselves in. Moniz effectively explores the challenges of living in today's world, but reminds us that we don't have to go through any of it alone.

[Tomes And Textiles]

To begin with, if you don't want to read a novel about coping with the COVID pandemic, lockdowns, etc., this won't be the novel for you. Otherwise, I was delightfully surprised by this story of grief, loss (of a child and divorce), moving on when you're not ready to, finding found family, dating and more. Full RTC.

[Kate Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightfully fast novella. FRIENDSHIP and QUEER SHIT and METAL! More like this, please! Taking a chance on the small-press book section is never a bad idea.

[Aaron Aceves · Rating 4 out of 5]

The casual bi representation makes me so happy

[Meghan Schuyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

i really loved how this book explored non-traditional family/partnership/community structures by throwing out the window the narrow and confining parameters that our society typically ascribes to these relationships. monogamous romantic relationships, nuclear families, and many other "traditional" dynamics are completely upended and replaced with arguably more fulfilling, healthy, and communicative relationships, which was beautiful to read about. i'm also a sucker for a full-circle moment, and boy did moniz deliver a gut-punch of one.

warning if you decide to read: chino/efren literally cannot stop talking and thinking about armpits, which i found upsetting and maybe even slightly disturbing?? (one or two mentions would have been excusable, but I stg there were a minimum of seven scenes about armpits in this short novel)

[Louis Muñoz · Rating 4 out of 5]

My second book from this author. I enjoyed "Big Familia" much more, but this book was also quite worthy, and had a lot of heart. Definitely recommend.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.

[Altan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I ended up enjoying this book a lot more than I thought I would. At first, the writing style appeared simplistic, and the plot didn't really seem to be going anywhere. But then, as I kept reading, I found the world and the characters unfolding to me in subtle, interesting ways, like the way fronds uncurl in a fantasy world. I ended up growing immensely attached to these characters, and in some way, I grieve my departure from their world.

The main throughline of this book follows Chino/Efren, our narrator. It seems almost wrong to give him labels, but he is a character threaded through with flaws and traumas, desires and peculiarities. At the start of the book, he has moved back into the neighborhood of his friends because of an event that tears his marriage apart (please don't ask me to go back and check these West Coast locations - as someone who was born and raised on the East Coast, I cannot fathom the distances between the locations mentioned in this book, although all of their names are familiar to me in some way). It is his friend group that really makes the book special, because each of them feel unique, and I can understand Chino's attachment to each of them. There's Metal Matt, his best friend, and Kay and Mike, the three of which form the basis of his friend group. It's honestly surprising to me how many of the names I can remember from this book, but I think that speaks to its impact on me. We follow Chino as his relationship to these people grows, surges, pushes, and evolves, as well as a cast of side characters that flit through his life in an extremely realistic way. As you can tell by the title, this book is focused on friendship, but it does so seamlessly.

This book does dip into the pandemic, which at some points felt weird to read about, but I don't think it falls into the genre of "pandemic literature." It continues trucking along with its theme of friendship and human relationships admirably, the pandemic and its procedures taking a backdrop to the relationships between these characters.

Personally, this story came at the right time for me. Having just exited my first long-term relationship, the feelings that Chino was having were extremely relatable, and I found myself longing for the familiarity that he has with his friends in this book. But that's the crux of the story, right? Valuing the platonic loves in your life, cherishing those moments with friends that become family, and learning to work through the human experience of it all. I think this book was really special in that way, and I would love to see more works like this.

[Ming · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am clearly not the intended audience for this book. And I can't remember why I added it (I should make it a habit to note the sources of my adds and the reason).

This is a Covid novel and I found it does so well. I very much appreciated Metal Matt as he was the one consistent friend to Chino/Efren. The others were secondary. I found Chino's bisexuality to be firmly in my blind spot...I also thought it leaned more towards hetero. But moreso, I didn't understand or believe his romantic or sexual attractions; they were no "feels."

I was very familiar with Chino's movements in SF and Oakland...I think I can picture the very building where they had that shared workspace in the Fruitvale.

The writing is generally straight forward and there are several poetic and/or profound passages (in my highlights). The storycrafting is also straight forward. And of course, I wondered how much of this is autobiographical (Moniz has a character, a cougar, named Genevieve, and in his Acknowledgements, he mentions a Genevieve). Oh, and in one of the strangest or unexpected items in the Acknowledgements, the author invites people to write letters to him at a PO box.

[atria · Rating 3 out of 5]

i'm a sucker for themes of queerness & friendship & found family & grief. and also bisexual men protagonists in literary fiction. and this book delivered in all those sectors. however, i just though the prose was a bit dry & thus hard to get through & felt like a chore. also the fact that the characters are so — for the lack of a better word — 'hippie coded' didn't help the feeling at all.

still i liked it and i think it had merits. would definitely read more stuff like this again. also more bi men in litfic, please! NEXT!

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Grief is processed in so many different ways. Efren “Chino” Flores does so by running as far from it as he can, drowning in hedonistic recklessness, shallow self-reflection, and isolation both voluntary and forced. But sooner or later, he has to come to terms with the emptiness at the center of his life, and how the only thing that can heal it is the power of connecting with others.

A literary hipster novel if there ever was one, All Friends Are Necessary probably won’t resonate as much with those not from the California Bay Area. Moniz describes it with such casual familiarity and genuine love that it feels like a vivid snapshot, particularly how it describes a city mired in the uncertainty of COVID lockdowns. This almost, but not quite, offsets the fact that, in trying to be both cool and profound, it winds up not being much of either. The very understated way Chino goes through his process might be realistic, but it doesn’t do much to make him likable or anything other than a self-centered fool most of the time. Aside from his best friend, the supporting characters are so opaquely drawn as to make little impression. And Moniz’s writing, while evocative at times, often succumbs to pretension and excess – did we really need to hear about the smell of armpits this much?

Still, there are worse flaws to be leveled at a book than its thematic reach exceeding its grasp. And it helped a friend of mine reach a personal catharsis, so there’s that.

Content Warnings (spoilers):

Chino’s grief centers around his child being stillborn. It causes him to shut down to the point that his own father’s death makes little impression. To cope, he engages in open relationships with all manner of people, some of whom have rather kinky tastes (nothing too weird).

[Bethany Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Efren “Chino” Flores moves back to the Bay Area from Seattle after a devastating loss, grappling with temporary jobs and commitment issues. Supported by friends like Metal Matt and a couple with a hidden online presence, Efren explores new relationships and rediscovers the power of community amidst personal challenges, highlighting the enduring bonds of friendship and love.

This was an absolutely gorgeous book. I fell in love with this friend group and was rooting for every single one of them. All of these characters are in adulthood with life experience, and you FEEL it in their circumstances. They make mistakes and learn.

The friendship between Metal Matt and Efren is the central relationship of the book and it is truly stunning. Their growth and love and support of each other over time is beautiful. You don’t always seen strong adult friendships between men and it was so wonderful to read.

I loved Matt and Susie’s unconventional relationship and I enjoyed Kay and Mike as well. This group of 5 was so great at helping each other. Set against COVID and the pandemic, you feel them all going through it.

The redemption of Efren and Luna at the end had me in tears. I loved them going through the unit together and figuring out what to do.

The final chapter of this book had me continuing the tears down my face. I can’t say enough how beautiful the friendships in this book were. The audio was stunning and the emotion in the narrator’s voice, especially in the chapters mentioned, was incredible.

[Sarah Bauer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting character study of how one grows up after college. I always appreciate reading about people in their 20's dealing with people-in-their-20's problems, and the found family feels shockingly real. Like there's some direct parallels to people in my own friend group.

[Gracie Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nearly identical to Good Material by Dolly Alderton but better imo

[danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

i went through a varying level of attachment to this book; i was interested in reading it so i picked it up, about ten pages in i wasn’t sure if this one was for me, fifty pages later i knew this was not a story i would connect to but was interested enough to keep going, had some high and low points in the middle, but the end really made me feel glad i had read it. all friends are necessary. love is important and beautiful.

[Hectaizani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this novel. In some places it made me feel like a voyeur because the author held nothing back. It's very raw and emotional. Is it semi-autobiographical? Folks do write what they know. I read it in two days because I couldn't put it down. I wanted to know what Chino and Metal Mike and the rest were going to do next.

It was raw, and emotional, and real. The characters were flawed and so very human. There were whole sections where I suffered along with them through their grief and then cheered for their joy. Efren or Chino goes though a lot in a short time. He loses his marriage, leaves his job, and moves away to start over fresh. Then he does it all again. Then he and his friends suffer through the lockdown and getting sick and getting well. It's like a coming of age story if the protagonist was in their 30s instead of being a teen.

And to top it all off the author has an amazing touch with words. He made the story so easy to get into and even though its not all that long the character development was astounding. Honestly, the only thing I loved more than this book was at the end where the author says he loves to get mail and if a reader sends a letter with a return address he will write you back. I'm not sure if I'm going to do that but when I was younger I treasured receiving an actual letter when I'd sent an author some fan mail.

Definitely following this author and will have to check out his other books.

[Artnoose McMoose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know Tomas, so whenever I read his books, it’s hard for me not to picture his main characters as him.

Efren Flores is a science teacher her who has just relocated back to the Bay Area after he and his wife lose their baby and then split up. He is navigating grief as well as just how to live a good life and have relationships with people.

The moral of the story is literally the title of the book, which is interesting. It allows you to be always reflecting on the theme of community, even when Efren struggles to find it. This book really demonstrates what it is to be a good friend.

[Sarah C. Jiménez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this sweet and stirring novel that touches on the many depths of grief. Protagonist Chino relies on his friends - old and new - to uplift him after his marriage dissolves (also following a devastating miscarriage). Fragments of Chino’s past vacillate in his present, the memories reeling just beneath the surface as Chino tries to make sense of the loss. Instead of falling to a dark solitary place, Chino’s loving and loyal friends help him pick up the pieces. The secondary characters, like Metal Matt, are quirky, down to earth, and relatable - as are their adventures in and around San Francisco. Chino’s fluid sexuality leads to several sexual encounters and different levels of intimacy (exquisitely written!). All in all, I was rooting for Chino from page one. I understood his heartache, the distance he kept from his father and their complex relationship, and his true friends who met him exactly where he was. I also loved reading a story about chosen family, and the people we meet and lose along the way. Muniz’s writing style is clean and cutting, packing so much action and emotion in simple scenes. Definitely recommend!!!

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

All the NorCal references really got me here. I enjoyed the story of the main character's life and showing non-traditional friend and family structures. As the story goes on, it feels a little disorganized and a bit more of the same, but overall, an enjoyable read.

[Michael B Tager · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the publisher, I'm biased but you should buy it. It's real good.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

what a beautiful book. made me laugh, tear up, smile, hurt, reminisce, …and so much more. this is one of the few books i’ve read that really got covid right — the sheer panic and unknown of the beginning of lockdown, the donuts outside the bakery painted on the sidewalk 6 ft apart, the Zoom dates and conversations. as a fellow biologist from California, i loved the lush descriptions of biodiversity and native flora (ok fern lover!), and how pleasure was interwoven with natural spaces. the author took such good care of each emotion, especially when the characters experienced them deeply (and boy i felt the emotions right along w/ the characters). the author also covered such challenging topics with moments that felt authentic (at least to me as a twenty-something). i love the ending and the way Efren’s journey through grief took so many winding turns, always with friends by his side. i look forward to one day having a village like theirs, to enjoy life together and maybe raise a little learner, experiencing joy, heartbreak, growth, turmoil, and so much more… together.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an ode to queer relationships and queer friendships and queer platonic relationships and I think I really loved it. It's genuinely one of the most raw and honest books I've read in a long time.

If follows our main character Chino after he and his wife have a devastating loss of their unborn child. They end up separating and divorcing and Chino relies on his group of friends to really keep him afloat. As the story progresses we see Chino go through grief and new and old relationships. We see him embark on non-romantic sexual relationships as well as forming new friendships and new jobs. The ending of this was my absolute favorite and I just really think we need more books that celebrate QPRs.

Bisexual latine MC

[Kiara Adir · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this one came out of nowhere. Haven’t seen any hype around this book and it was so so beautiful. Went into it blind - it made me laugh, it made me cry, and I just wanted to hug all of my close friends and thank them for being so special

[Erik · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a beautiful story of frienship! So touching, alive, and raw.

[Gregory · Rating 5 out of 5]

The last words of that novel (“oh my heart, my heart”) are exactly how I feel about this novel. 10 stars.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a long time to read this book. This was the first time I knew I loved a book from page one but also considered not finishing it on multiple occasions. There were some really heavy parts to get through and honestly sometimes I felt like I wouldn’t be able to do it. But seriously, this was a beautiful story with a message that we should put more emphasis on.