My Wandering Warrior Eating Disorder

by Kabi Nagata

Nagata Kabi's newest diary comic details the complexities of her fraught relationship with food--from eating disorders and habits to food preparation--with unflinching and detailed honesty.

Genres: Manga, Graphic Novels, Nonfiction, Memoir, Mental Health, Adult, LGBT

50 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 26, 2023

About the author

Nagata Kabi is a Japanese manga artist best known for My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness. Nagata has been drawing for as long as she can remember.

Reviews

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the most disturbing of Nagata Kabi’s diaries. A detailed description of mental illness with almost no self-reflection. After catching up on this amazing series, I wonder if the author is in a good place or not.

[Gabbi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m pretty sad to see what this volume ended up being. I’ve read all of Nagata’s other translated works so I’m very familiar with her desire to get better and her resistance to actual treatment. I think that’s very common and relatable, and that’s part of why I liked her earlier books. I always want to get better myself but I also struggle to put in the work.

This volume is quite depressing because Nagata isn’t putting any effort into getting better and she actively doesn’t want to change anything. She mentions at the end that most people with eating disorders do suffer, but she also mentions how she’s happy to be able to eat good foods even though she plans to purge later.

There’s chapters where Nagata describes the best foods to eat because they’re easy to purge later, and even includes a general recipe for two specific purging meals. I’m torn because while this is a memoir/Nagata’s real life and she has the right to share it, I feel like she shouldn’t have published this until she was at least attempting treatment. There’s a disclaimer at the beginning that Nagata isn’t trying to promote Bulimia, but I feel like that does little when you see the drawings where Nagata looks like she’s loving her life and having fun and learning to enjoy her eating disorder.

I actually bought a copy of this, but I’m not sure I’ll do that again in the future. I still adore Nagata’s artwork and would read more of her books, but I don’t think I’m ok spending money on a volume where there’s little progress or at least self-reflection.

Date Read: 12/07/25

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is more of a hold over until My Pancreas Broke drops, but I enjoy Nagata's style and how she is very down to earth and open about her struggles.

That said, ILY girl and I hope MPB... sees you getting better

[sofía · Rating 3 out of 5]

i was sooo excited but it was so short and repeated past stuff! sad :( still good!!!

[Eva B.]

No rating.
I've loved most of Nagata Kabi's memoirs that I've read so far, but between this one and Pancreas, I've started to wonder if maybe by continuing to read her stuff, it ends up leading to her deprioritizing her own healing for the sake of a story? This one in particular was rough. On the one hand, it was a very well-done look into the mind of a bulimic recovering alcoholic and all that entails (and look, I just love anything that talks about Japanese food! it's one of my favorite cuisines!), and I don't want to try and police how people discuss their mental illness, especially as someone who is not bulimic...not everyone will have a recovery from their illness, and stories about living with it are still important, BUT: big chunks of this really felt like they were an instructional guide on how to be bulimic and still function in society. I think it's a dangerous route to say "you can't discuss your ED because what if it ends up giving advice for people to hide theirs/engage with theirs to a more damaging degree", but there's a big difference between someone saying "this is how I hid my ED from my family" and what Nagata Kabi does in this, which is include a chapter of her favorite recipes to make with a heavy focus on how easy they are to throw up.
In reading this I felt gross, like I was a voyeur to someone else's long-winded suicide attempt. Like when you're in middle school and find out someone you love is binging or starving but there's no one you can tell, only she's telling the whole world and sharing tips and doesn't want to get better, but I want her to. I truly hope that she can find a way to work towards recovery, even if it means she has to stop writing her manga memoirs, because right now it just feels like I'm watching someone ruin her own life and sell it to me.

Popsugar #41: different format than your usual (manga)

[Eden Burrow · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this purely out of curiosity after her other book (which I also did not like) but damn this one takes the cake. Literally just explaining how to be bulimic and then saying “im not going to try to get better and that’s totally fine 😋” girl if this is actually autobiographical like you say…get help

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author opens up about her struggles with her eating disorder in a way that will make those without a similar disorder a bit queasy and those who do triggered. I say “queasy” not because she draws or talks about throwing up, but because the kind of food she binges on sound really unappetizing—at least to me. Cold spaghetti, thawed out frozen bento sides, pastries coated in margarine… Her selections had more to do with what is easiest to throw up later more than what is delicious. Perhaps more disturbing is her belief based on something her therapist said that she doesn’t have to “get better”—that she can coexist with her eating disorder, that if she eats and then throws up, that if she isn’t “suffering,” then it’s okay. Sure, if one’s addiction or self harming behavior is what gets you through another day on this Earth, then find a way to do it so it is safe as it can be, but I don’t think that’s the epiphany the people who care about you want to hear. 😔

[Anisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

would not recommend it to anyone who struggles with relapse.

[Christina Gardner · Rating 1 out of 5]

I haven’t read this author’s other works. Perhaps if I knew her story better this would be more interesting. As it stands, I regret my purchase. It just feels like incredibly empty “shock factor” and pages of repetitive statements about what type of food and beverages she prefers for the sake of publishing something I guess?

[Kara Jorgensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

For some reason, the short story version and the full graphic novel are the same Goodreads listing. They are two different books.

[Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

I regret my purchase. I am not someone that suffers with an ED, but I do not like her perspective on her mental illness at all. She makes no attempt to get better, and it even feels like she is promoting her disordered eating in this book. I know it is supposed to be a realistic memoir and depiction of someone with an eating disorder, but it really just feels like she is promoting her unhealthy behaviors by publishing her recipes and saying that she is ok with eating and purging. This just feels immensely irresponsible.

[VvTired (Lauren) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I kinda forgot I had read the earlier online published version of this and ended up picking up a physical copy when I saw it in stores since its publication date was pretty recent. It makes sense I would have forgotten about his one since it is by far the least remarkable of her work. The art is still beautifully done but the story feels disconnected and lacks an overarching narrative. If you were going to skip any of her works I’d skip this one.

[Sinistre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nunca soy de poner trigger warnings pero esta vez sí creo que es necesario

Tw: transtorno alimenticio, comida, bulimia

La señora Nagata no es solo alcohólica si no también adicta a la comida. Este es el manga más oscuro de ella y eso es mucho decir; pero es que trata el tema comida de una forma que no puede calificarse menos que enfermiza.

Explica cada detalle de los platos y como lo engulle sin fin y es fácil imaginársela desesperada comprando 500 paquetes de croquetas, porque las explicaciones son tan municiosas que es obvio que el TCA está a full.

Y aunque ya nos comenta que prefiere no dibujar situaciones donde regurgita queda implícito y es super siniestro.

La verdad esta chica tiene muchos frentes xd A pesar de esto, creo que es valiente escribir esto y hasta incluso publicarlo.

Eso sí, no se lo recomendaría a nadie con transtorno alimenticio JAMÁS.

[Bella · Rating 3 out of 5]

The summary should really clarify that this book is actively pro-ED. While Nagata’s story is personal and even relatable, her art is lovely, and her storytelling will inevitably stick with me, this is a deeply irresponsible thing to publish. It’s sad to see someone so deep in the “honeymoon phase” of her illness that she seems to genuinely enjoy it. As someone who similarly struggles with an eating disorder, don’t buy this book. It feels dirty having spent money to read what I didn’t realize was a pro-ED memoir complete with bulimia advice and instructions.

[N · Rating 3 out of 5]

First off: don't read this manga if you haven't read any of Nagata's other work (may I recommend "My lesbian experience with loneliness" or "my pancreas broke but my life got better"). It will not make a whole lot of sense. The author herself says in the beginning that this is little story outtakes/extra thoughts she has around food that didn't fit with her other books

Ok, actual review time, cuz this is the most conflicted I probably ever felt after reading one of her books. For context, I'm somebody that struggles with physical and mental disabilities, but I never had an ED.

Likes: as always, I adore her artstyle. It's very expressive, while only using a few lines and a single color. This gives it a very raw and personal feeling, like you're reading someones drawn diary. Aka perfect for autobio manga. And as with most of her previous mangas, she doesn't flinch away from making herself look unflattering. This is an unfiltered look at mental illness and how much it influences someone's day to day life. Like I don't think any mentally healthy person will be able to read this manga and go "ah yes, what a fabulous life someone with bulemia has, I should try it!". It really made me feel bad for her, and showed me just why food has been such a sticking point in some of her previous work.
As someone that read her previous works, it was also nice to finally see her make some progress on her obsession with alcohol! That whole chapter discussing her slip after 2 years was a roller coaster of emotions, of "oh no, don't go back!" to "omg, I'm so glad you're able to be normal about it now (I hope it sticks)". It's nice to see her seemingly succeed at something for once, playing into the lighter tone of this manga.
I also find her attitude towards her illness...interesting. Not necessarily healthy...but sometimes ya just gotta work with what life gives you. Multiple other reviews that get upset with her giving up on recovery seem to forget that she tells us straight up that she has been living with bulemia for nearly 20 years now. Constantly beating yourself up over things that (for the time being) you can't change isn't healthy, so her allowing herself to find joy in the little parts of life is...encouraging (?) to see. I was honestly getting quite upset with her while reading, but then the epilogue put it into perspective for me. I think this can potentially serve as a conversation starter about chronic disorders, and how to try and live your best life when recovery isn't possible for whatever reason. This is probably the 'like' for me which I feel the most conflicted about. Because obviously if you're sick you should try and get better...but if you just constantly beat yourself up for something that isn't getting better, it just leads to depression and self loathing (speaking from experience). There is a conversation to be had about accommodations vs healing when it comes to mental illness, especially in a country where mental health isn't being treated well (from what I've heard from other people living in Japan)

Dislikes: the book isn't particularly cohesive. There isn't any narrative to it, it really is just random thoughts about food, ED edition. I'm personally not a huge fan of short story collections, as it often just comes across as rambly to me...and this one certainly wasn't the exception to it. Due to them just being disconnected stories, it definitely doesn't have the same gut punch as her more narrative works. It also doesn't do a great job establishing a timeline for what's happening and when it's happening (I imagine this being very confusing for anyone that hasn't read, or only read a few of her books).
I also have a hard time telling what exactly the purpose of this work is, or what it's reflecting on. The chapters about alcohol obviously make sense, given how much her other works focus on alcoholism. It's interesting to see just what her daily life during it looked like, and how truly unhinged she became with it. It was also nice seeing an update on how she's doing since her last work. But as far as I'm aware we never got a deeper look at her bulemia before, and we still don't. Which is fine if she doesn't want to share that, ofc, but it seems weird to make a book about your ED...and then not actually talk directly about your ED.
Instead this seems like her attempt at therapy, trying to encourage herself to eat foods and feel good about it. Which ofc is great! But why is it made into a book I paid nearly 20 bucks for? It doesn't really make me understand *why* she does these things, and *why* certain foods make her feel good. This is just about a hundred or so pages of unpleasant food experiences that she doesn't quite seem to realize are unpleasant.
And as other reviews have pointed out, I do think there's a valid concern about her romanticizing and encouraging bulemia in others with this work. Again, I don't think any non-ED person will read this and go "omg I gotta start eating crap and throw it up!", I certainly didn't at least. I also don't think it was her intention to do so, given the disclaimers and her explanation in the epilogue. But I do worry that this might push someone over the edge, especially with how she gives *exact instructions on how to make easy to throw up food*. Seriously, what was the purpose of the chapter where she gives exact recipes??? That seems irresponsible to put into a manga rated for teens. And as an even bigger offense, I really don't think the book would loose literally anything of substance if that chapter was removed. It doesn't make me understand her psychology more or the impact of bulemia on someones life more, it really just seems to exist to make the author feel good about her life (like "hey look I can cook, isn't that stuff cute!" which again, great! but why is this in a published book). She could have just mentioned the foods and not given exact recipes, and the outcome on the average reader would have been the same. When it comes to serious mental illness, exact steps on how to perform it should generally not be shown in media available just anywhere (my mind with that just immediately just went to Netflix and 13 Reasons Why, and how that caused a huge spike in...issues. From personal experience again, people giving instructions in how to further your mental issues were definitely...not helpful to me as a sick teen). Again, don't have an ED myself tho, so I can't really say if someone on the edge would read this as romantic or useful. Reviews from people with ED in the past/in recovery are here on bookreads, and people seem split on it. Some say it's triggering and bad, others say it's relatable and comforting.
I also just expected...more from this book. With a title like "my twisted eating disorder" I expected it to, similar to her other works, dive into the dark side of mental illness. Which it did to some extend, but the intend of this work is to be more optimistic. Which I'm aware she didn't choose this title, but I just didn't find this book particularly interesting or as insightful as her other works. I think it would have really benefited of a chapter looking into the darker side of it, or an extension of the epilogue, with her talking about why she made this book. If she wanted to write about happier stuff I'd be game (like girl, give me an infodump on Sanrio if you want, I'll buy it), but trying to make a happy book about ED is...a challenge. And not a challenge she completed particularly well I say.

[joey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the people calling this book anti-recovery should just accept that this part of Nagata Kabi's experience is not for them.
Granted I don't have an ED but I do struggle with periods of disordered eating, and seeing those behaviors represented this way does actually help me interrogate myself. I feel more seen in a work like this than most other media that concerns EDs/disordered eating.

Also what should be noted is that the more literally-translated title of this work is "This is a Twisted Food Review" (食レポ - shoku (meaning meal) + repo, short for "report") which may be a better framing for this work, rather than a direct addressing of the author's ED.

[Spader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this while in eating disorder recovery from restrictive anorexia and I found seeing eating disorders from another perspective enlightening. It helped me feel a little less alone through it all— especially with how matter of factly this comic was written.

I had feared it might be triggering, but I found it to not be triggering at all. This is a memoir written by someone who has had an eating disorder for many many years, and she does not romantise nor hide any symptoms or parts of it.

I will likely revisit this when I’m a little further in recovery, but for now it provided comfort and understanding in a world where eating disorders are usually demonised and misunderstood. Finding myself in some of the behaviours and things discussed in this book felt like finding a bit of grace, a reminder that my struggles aren’t mine alone.

All that said, I haven’t read anything else by this author despite her fame. Maybe I will give it a try. The art is gorgeous, and the honesty in the writing isn’t one you find very often.

[Clover Pearl · Rating 2 out of 5]

this is anti-recovery and although it is a beautifully honest depiction of how an eating disorder changes the way you interact with food after recovery, because it is from her current self who has accepted that she will continue with a binge-purge cycle for the foreseeable future - I feel it was almost not tragic enough to inform the readers of the horrifying reality of being ill.

I wish this was given the same time and energy as her other books.

[Elena]

not sure how I feel about it. I know this is supposed to be a bridging between books/ go into details of stories that were left out in previous books so it's very short and episodical by nature but still I found it a bit lacking at times. nagata's artstyle is the same quality as always though and tells her story with unflinching honesty.

[Sam Quixote · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lordy, life is difficult for some people, eh? Kabi Nagata’s previous autobiographical mangas have focused on her difficulties with her homosexuality, then becoming a drunk, then dealing with pancreatitis as a result of said boozing, and now her latest book, My Twisted Eating Disorder, is about her bulimia! She even mentions at the end of this book that there are other struggles she’s avoiding discussing so I dread to think what other burdens this poor woman is going through.

But I hope she manages to find a healthy equilibrium to keep going as her slice-of-life mangas dealing with dark, real subject matters are unique and might help those also going through something similar. And, like many of her other books, I thought Twisted was decent, if flawed.

The chapters deal with a different type of food that Nagata is obsessed with eating, like soaked-through cold noodles or pastries with extra margarine (butter is too expensive in Japan). All the more so as mushy foods are easier to throw up.

It’s morbidly fascinating to read how she lived during this time but it also feels a bit repetitive - each chapter is more or less the same and reading about the different kinds of cravings different foods gave her, like home-made curry vs. frozen bento sides, isn’t that interesting.

I do appreciate that the ending she provides isn’t simple or pat. She didn’t have these problems and then solved them and she’s now happier, like in some trite feel-good memoir. No, she’s very much still living with bulimia - she’s not even fully over her alcoholism either! I luckily don’t know first hand but I imagine a lot of addicts relapse or fail to find solutions to their destructive habits because life is not as straightforward as it’s presented in books.

For that, and the way that she presented these obviously painful experiences in a way that’s not too upsetting, I think makes the book not just easier to read but also more helpful for people to understand some of the behaviours or those going through the same things themselves to access.

There’s overlap in this book with her other books - there’s a chapter recounting her alcoholism and a chapter on her pancreatitis - because she started this one before those, but then put that on hold while she focused on completing those before returning to this. But there is relevant detail in those chapters that relates to the subject matter of her relationship with food.

I feel like there wasn’t really enough material for an entire book, so it ends up feeling a bit slight and overdetailed in a way that makes it boring at times, but Kabi Nagata is also a strong enough comics storyteller to keep the book from being too dull regardless. It’s not the most gripping read but there was enough here that held my attention.

My Twisted Eating Disorder continues building up this complex and compelling, if bleak, portrait of Nagata and so is a decent addition to her other books and worth reading if you’re a fan of her manga (this isn’t the best place to start though - try My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness or My Alcoholic Escape from Reality first), and might also be worth checking out for those who are affected by this disease as well.

[Destiny · Rating 4 out of 5]

CW: Eating Disorder, Alcoholism

I've been binging Kabi Nagata's books this past month, and only just so happened to spot this book on the sidebar of GoodReads on the day I was meant to start "My Pancreas Broke..."

It was released as a very short holdover before "My Pancreas Broke..." came out since it covered a couple of things that were left out of other stories. It's 4 short chapters - or 3 chapters and a disclaimer - that amount to 50 pages. And it's only available in ebook...

Overall, it's skippable if you're not into ebooks, but is still interesting if you're already enjoying Kabi Nagata's books. It mostly discusses her mentality with food / preferences. And her 24-7 drinking schedule that landed her in the hospital.

As always, I enjoyed the peak into her mind and the simple, blunt way she communicates.

[Ben · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, it's Nagata Kabi, so it's a raw, funny-but-sad (or vice versa?) look at the author's disordered life. This short couple of chapters definitely has the feeling of an interstitial piece between longer (and more organized?) works. Recommended for completists, but probably okay to skip if you didn't instantly go for your wallet when you learned "hey there's another Nagata Kabi thing."

As for the content, it's maybe a little more grim than usual, having the express intention of "this is a chronicle of my twisted eating habits," rather than the sort of "this is me looking back on this period and how I ultimately got through it" vibe that Nagata usually brings to her longer-form memoirs. A little less catharsis maybe, but still an interesting read.

[Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

Since I'm sure I spent more time agonizing over the possible dangers posed by this review than the author did over the ones of her entire book, I won't delve into the nitty gritty of why it shouldn't be read by anyone, let alone people suffering from any form of ED at any stage, as I fear going into details would run the risk of intriguing precisely those who should stay away from it the most. Instead I'll say only this: the manga would serve as an excellent resource for Nagata's therapist (a real one, not the quack she quotes to justify her ED). As a published material, however, it should have never seen the light of day and anyone who okayed it should bow their head in shame over their own callous irresponsibility.

[Noortje · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was ok. I saw it's just kind of like a holdover till her next book, which I just got in the mail. only just found out this little story even exists. It's so sad though! like every time I read more about kabi's life I feel like I need to lay down for a bit. especially the part where she mentioned she doesn't even want to recover anymore at this point after living with her eating disorder for over 10 years. I appreciate how open she is though, letting the readers know about this part of life she never mentioned in her other books.

[Allioth ☆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was just all over the place.

It lacks the self-reflection that made Nagata's works good, and instead is just 140 pages of what seems to be recipes that are good for purging???? And at the end is an attempt at a positive ending, except there is nothing positive in this! The author says she doesn't want to change and it's fine living like this.

Maybe I would have let it slide if there was any discussion about the consequences of an ed, specifically bulimia, but sadly, there is nothing of the sort

[Eva Q. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bastante decepcionada con este comic. Ya he leido 3 o 4 comics de esta autora, y todos me habían gustado bastante y me habían hecho reflexionar mucho sobre sus experiencias, que es el punto positivo de los mangas de ensayo. Sin embargo esto no es un ensayo sobre la bulimia y la relación de la autora con la comida, sino un catálogo de sus gustos y fetiches culinarios, sin ninguna reflexión. Entiendo que con 37 años haya aceptado su bulimia y disfrute de sus atracones (hola, trastorno por atracón aquí presente) pero en ese caso no debería publicar este tipo de ensayos.

[Roo · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's very hard to give a rating for this, so I'll go right in the middle. This installment of Nagata Kabi's autobio manga series is hard to read. There's very little self reflection, and she says outright that she will not be discussing recovery strategies and she does not want to get better. There's still her trademark humor and great art, but it's hard to read knowing how she is suffering. I don't know if I can read more of these.

[julita · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is hard to get through and harder to rate. it’s anti-recovery, and nagata gives multiple warnings about the content and discloses as much; since it’s autobiographical i’m in no place to judge that. it’s very difficult to read through the brutal depiction of eating disorders and self harm when there is no hope for recovery, unlike in nagata’s other works. i’m a little miffed as to why this content was selected as an exclusive. despite the difficult content, nagata’s artwork and storytelling is as wonderful as ever.

[Jourdy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t express how much I love this mangaka. I know the content is dark and upsetting sometimes but it’s so incredibly raw and real that picking up a new volume feels like checking in on a friend. I will say some of the things she describes here are gross to think about mostly just how she enjoys her food and I’m worried she’ll have heart problems, but really by the end I was just happy she CAN enjoy food and isn’t punishing herself.

[Brian]

Deeply uncomfortable and probably triggering for those with EDs. I don't want to rate this but the extended version did little to mitigate my fear that this has "how to" material for bulimia. I hope the author is okay. I fret about her well-being regularly. One doesn't have to be "healed" to live a good life but I don't want to her suffer so horribly.