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237 pages, Paperback
First published December 29, 2012
No matter what happens in life, you never forget your first love...
You know how sometimes, your high school crush grows up to become an insanely famous movie star? Okay, probably not.
But I do.
“I’m sorry about….ever letting you go. I’m sorry for all the time we wasted. I’m sorry for being here with you right now when we can’t do a damned thing about it.”
“Give me another chance at this. We’re so great together. I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
You know how sometimes, your high school crush grows up to become a insanely famous movie star?
Okay, probably not.
But I do.
”Hey Chester. How’s it hanging?”
“Laya. Effing. Warren”
”I just think you’re looking for happiness in the wrong place”
”When you want something you can’t have, it can get… frustrating”
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
It was excruciating at first, getting over Trip. Not that I ever really did, mind you. But during those first years, I had no other choice but to go on with my life. Because do you ever really get over your first love? Even during your twenties, when you experience that initial taste of being a grown-up… that teenager still lives inside you. That person you were before the world started telling you how to be, what to say, who you should be with. Before you lost yourself in expectations and plans, and could just be a work-in-progress with only the vaguest of results in mind.
At the age of twenty-six, I hadn’t yet mastered the art of growing up. Truth is, I was a bit lost. I wasn’t quite sure I knew who I was or if I’d ever be found again.
“Hey Chester. How’s it hangin’?”
His mouth went slack, but the corners of his lips were turned up into a smile. His eyes went wide as he said incredulously, “Layla. Effing. Warren.”
“Can we bump the next interview back so I can grab something to eat?” His palm slid down my right arm, then he took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles. He was looking into my eyes, but his words were directed toward his publicist. “This is the girl that got away, Sandy. I’m going to need more than just a few minutes with this one.”
His voice was soft. “I did, you know. I did love you.”
… “I know. You did it well.”
“When you want something you can’t have, it can get... frustrating.”
“I’m sorry about … ever letting you go. I’m sorry for all the time we wasted. I’m sorry for being here with you right now when we can’t do a damned thing about it.”
“I need this, Layla. I need you. Help me to remember, Lay. Help me to remember us.”
You find the man you know you’re supposed to be with, you do whatever you have to do in order to be with him.
“I’m sorry about….ever letting you go. I’m sorry for all the time we wasted. I’m sorry for being here with you right now when we can’t do a damned thing about it.”
You know how sometimes, your high school crush grows up to be an insanely famous movie star? Okay, probably not. But I do. ~Layla Warren
“My heart was beating like mad even as I felt it breaking in two. It was too much, not enough, everything I'd ever wanted and nothing I could have. Could a person die from this?”
“Don't say it, Lay. Don't. Because I'm not stopping this. I need to be inside you more than I need to breathe right now. But if we can't do that, if this is all we have... I'm taking it. I'm taking every last bit of you you're willing to give.”
“There were more misunderstandings between us than in an episode of Three’s Company.”
“It was excruciating at first, getting over Trip. Not that I ever really did, mind you. But during those first years, I had no other choice but to go on with my life. Because do you ever really get over your first love?"
“Give me another chance at this. We’re so great together. I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”