Forces of Nature: A Memoir of Family, Loss, and Finding Home

by Gina DeMillo Wagner

Gina DeMillo Wagner's brother Alan had a rare genetic disorder that caused him to veer from loving to violent. When Alan died suddenly, Gina was pulled away from the safety of her adult life and thrust back into a family she has been estranged from for nearly ten years. FORCES OF NATURE follows this rewinding of the past, Gina’s caregiving journey and reckoning with complicated grief, plus Alan's Christmas-themed funeral, and an investigation into his cause of death. It's a personal story that asks universal questions: How much of ourselves should we sacrifice to those we love? And, what forces shape our sense of family and home?

"A lovely meditation on how families are formed within hostile landscapes. Wagner is a talented stylist..." - The Washington Post

“An astonishing story of sibling love… Deft and affecting in every way.” — Nora McInerny, author of Bad Vibes Only and host of “Terrible, Thanks for Asking” podcast

“Every once in a while, a memoir comes along to remind us of a profound truth that we recognize as our very own… Gina DeMillo Wagner brings compassion and wisdom to every page." — Claire Bidwell Smith, author of Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief

“With wisdom, hope and humor, Forces of Nature offers an honest and rich exploration of complicated grief… Gina reveals the complexities of losing people we love, and loving imperfect people without abandoning ourselves.” — Jessi Hempel, author of The Family Outing

“Within these pages, Wagner’s words act as an offering to anyone working through loss, that it is an act of love to let go.” — Rebecca Woolf, author of All of This

“Gina beautifully describes the physical and emotional toll that caregiving exacted on her own life, as well as the heartbreak of being the one who everyone looks to when things fall apart… Her story of resilience is profound and is certain to resonate with anyone who’s struggled to keep their head above water while trying to find themselves.” — Matthew Logelin, New York Times bestselling author of Fatherhood

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

318 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 14, 2024

About the author

Gina DeMillo Wagner is an award-winning journalist and author of FORCES OF NATURE: A Memoir of Family, Loss, and Finding Home. Her writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Memoir Magazine, Modern Loss, Self, Outside, CRAFT Literary, Zibby Mag, and other publications. She is a winner of the CRAFT Creative Nonfiction Award, and her memoir was longlisted for the 2022 SFWP Literary prize. Gina has a master’s degree in journalism and is cofounder of Watershed creative writing and art workshops. She lives and works near Boulder, Colorado.

Reviews

[Jim Crooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I started reading this book without a strong sense of what it would be about, and I was not expecting it affect me so profoundly. A memoir about having to become, in elementary school and beyond, the adult in a family with a mostly absent father, a mentally ill mother, and a loving but sometimes violent older brother with a profound disability. Beyond that, too, it is about processing such a childhood as an actual adult, seeking closure for experiences that can never be fully closed, and building a new family. Honest, heartfelt, and beautiful.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding, raw account of how the writer juggles the emotional toll of an unexpected loss while she is simultaneously pulled to make sense of a complicated childhood. I loved the method she employs in going back and forth in time to retell her past while she processes her present; both stories are beautifully told and woven together - it's really hard to put the book down. In baring her soul on these pages, I was moved by Gina's personal journey and triumphed with her as she recognizes her own strength and grace - "I have already rescued myself." Anyone who has had to process grief or a painful past will be able to appreciate this book.

[Natalie Neer Hart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gina invites us along as she navigates her journey through the complex grief of loosing her brother, Alan. She shares her quest to understand him—someone she loved and spent years as a caregiver for but who was also her tormentor.

By the end of the book I am left in awe of the authors strength but also feeling deeply connected to her through a shared understanding of the complicated relationship with her mother.

Due to the intimate nature of her writing, I found myself rooting for young Gina throughout the book and excited to celebrate her successes by the end of the novel.

[Holli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gina is such a beautiful writer. Every word is used with intention and paints a picture of the complications many of us have felt.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

You are such a strong and beautiful soul, Gina. Your story is beautifully written.

[Cheryl G. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw and real...as,a parent of a 20 y/o with pws.

[Alyson · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a powerful read. A beautifully written book about the complexity of family and how difficult (almost impossible) it can be to recognize the truth of our own childhoods and how the difficult journey of recognition is worth taking.

[A B · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a uniquely moving, relatable, and thought-provoking book. The author manages to share her story with unflinching honesty AND remarkable compassion, bringing attention to important topics such as navigating unhealthy family patterns with strength and empathy while shedding light on Prader–Willi syndrome.

I appreciated the gems of historical context (both familial and location-based) which add richness to the largely universal (to varying degrees) experience of adults looking back on childhoods that lacked emotional or physical safety.

This book is good inspiration for those of us who realize we need to put our own oxygen masks on first before helping others in a world (and sometimes within families) that would rather we do the opposite.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful story about the complicated relationships of siblings, parenting, the trust we want to have. Gina takes us through the loss of her brother as well as the loss of her childhood while weaving in healing through the growth of her own chosen family and nature.

[Sarah]

I need to sit with my feelings on this one before I review. Coming soon!

[Alissa Dodson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly written. Profound connection of the complexity of family, siblings, grief, and learning to love despite it all.

[Best Indie Book Award · Rating 5 out of 5]

2024 BIBA Winner!

[Megan McCarthy-Biank · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gina DeMillo Wagner demonstrates her writing talent in Forces of Nature. She walks the reader through her experiences in the present tense throughout, with a dual-timeline format – dealing with the loss of Alan and flashbacks to her childhood. Through these careful choices in storytelling and authentic reflections into her experiences and psyche, readers get an intimate account into how Gina overcame her domestic situation and dealt with the aftermath of her decision to leave home.

We also get insight into how her grief forces her to consider significant questions such as, “Did Alan know that I loved him?” Usually I have trouble staying interested in memoirs, but Wagner’s compelling story and how she shared it with the world had me easily flipping page after page. I felt unwavering empathy towards what she went through, and understand, through her story, how hard it must have been to take that first step into looking out for herself, after being the one having to look after everyone else.

In-depth book review: https://cantinabookclub.com/review/fo...