The Stupidest Angel

Pine Cove #3

by Christopher Moore

'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit.

But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, he's not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasn't run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead.

But hold on! There's an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) It's none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angel's not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," he's botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen.

Move over, Charles Dickens -- it's Christopher Moore time.

Genres: Humor, Fiction, Fantasy, Christmas, Comedy, Book Club, Horror

275 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2004

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Christopher Moore is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters suddenly struggling through supernatural or extraordinary circumstances. Inheriting a humanism from his love of John Steinbeck and a sense of the absurd from Kurt Vonnegut, Moore is a best-selling author with major cult status.

Reviews

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

What is not to love about a book that has a pot smoking law official married to a crazy woman who runs around naked with a broad sword, brain sucking zombies lead by Santa who want to go shopping at IKEA, incompetent arc angel who likes snickers, and a talking fruit bat? I found the story to be very entertaining with several laugh out loud points (I listened to it on tape). I’d recommend this book to anyone who can just let go of reality and enjoy a tale.

[Jason Koivu · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kitchen sink wackiness and a troop of tropes parade through a book not half as hilarious as I had hoped it would be.

In a barely fictional California coastal town -that's about two hours from where I live and, to the writer's credit, I feel pretty sure I've been there- the locals of a sleepy tourist town prepare for Christmas. A handful of middle-aged divorcees, lonesome loners, curmudgeons, and crazies bitch and bumble their way through a hair-(and more)-raising couple of days. A celestial visitor scares the bejesus out of the local constable, who has got his hands full sorting out a town's-worth of mischief and mayhem.

Do all of Christopher Moore's books include angels and an undercurrent of Christianity? I've only read two Moores so far, but I'm two for two on the jesus and god topic. I should look for titles without "gospel" and "angel" in them. So, that's on me.

Neither book lived up to the hype I had built up after reading the reviews. I got a snort or two out of The Stupidest Angel, but generally I find the humor to be dated and filled with easy gags. Not that I could do better! All in all, there were a few insightful satirical jabs, so it wasn't all that bad.

[Lyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is another Christopher Moore book I have enjoyed reading, and they have all been hilarious.

Very funny and it had that Christopher Moore kookiness, even some returns of fun characters.

If you like zombies, you may like this.

But this is not one that I would recommend to begin reading his works. If you have never read any of his books try Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal or A Dirty Job first.

Still pretty good.

[Aoibhínn · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror was my first Christopher Moore novel. This novel is not the type of book I normally read.

The plot was quite thin but there were tons of funny scenes that made me giggle and snicker (it wasn't funny enough to make me laugh out loud). However I got bored with this book pretty quickly. The humour in this book is very "in your face" type humour. The humour was just so repetitive that it started to get on my nerves after a while and the jokes just stopped being funny. I didn't like the second half of the book as it just got too far-fetched and stupid. I really struggled to finish it.

I don't think this sort of book is for everyone and I'm not sure that I'll ever read another book by Christopher Moore. He's the type of author I would get bored of very easily. If you like movies like Scary Movie, Date Movie and Epic Movie then you'll probably like this book.


2 stars!

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

Its utterly rediculous, but its also laugh out loud FUNNY. Im listening on audio book and I've never enjoyed doing laundry more. Its totally odd ball, irreverent, immature, deviously clever and just plain silly, as are most of Moore's books. It doesn't matter if you find the story "believeable" its TOO FUNNY for me to care.

C'mon, washed-up female-battle-warrior cult movie star whos totally nuts (in a friendly crazy neighbor sort of way) married to pot smoking sherrif. DEA helicopeter subcontractor helps woman he's never met clean up a crime scene, and introduces her to his pet fruit bat. Oh, yeah, and then there is the stupidest angel, and the sherrif's biologist friend who's doing some pretty wierd stuff with conditioning rats that just might work on him too... something about batteries and electrodes and underwear models... a little "goy" kid and his ruminations on whos got better holidays, and what's gonna get him on the bad list at the north pole.

Kinda throws believable out the window before you even start the book. Its not something you'd want to discuss with the church book club, no worse than your average cable stand-up from a vulgarity standpoint and much funnier than most. I've been laughing for the last 3 hours straight. Its silly, go with it.

[Scarlet Cameo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Con la advertencia más divertida que hay al iniciar la historia nos adentramos a la historia de un pequeño pueblo afectado por las estupidez de un ángel...que no es la primera vez que se equivoca

"No era su primera misión de natividad. No, de hecho, había sido el encargado de la primera de todas, pero como se había entretenido echando una partida de pinacle, llego con un retraso de 10 años y había anunciado al propio hijo prepubescente que encontraría un bebé envuelto en mantillas en un pesebre"

Si bien su primer error fue vergonzoso el segundo es mortal. En su afán de cumplir el milagro de navidad termina metiendo en terribles, y graciosas, dificultades. Aunque siendo sincera el enfoque de este libro no radica en ese "milagro navideño" sino en las acciones que llevan a ese milagro y en los personajes involucrados; estos últimos un catalogo de personas extravagantes que se ven reducidas por los personajes bastante raros, y que terminan siendo opacados por el murciélago Roberto.

Si bien la historia da muchísimas vueltas antes de llegar al climax, todo el transcurso antes de ello es divertido, cargado de humor negro y personalidades cuestionales, que van juntando las piezas para llegar la batalla final, aunque todo ese trabajo es reducido a nada por una resolución por demás decepcionante, con un deus ex machina en toda la regla y que no puede más insatisfactorio sí lo intentará.

A pesar de la historia no es nada del otro mundo, en ningún momento aburre dado que se desarrolla en un 70% humor y 30% en acción holliwodense, y no hay más que eso, los personajes están poco profundizados y el pueblo no es excesivamente descrito, de hecho estos aspectos están tan presentes que me atrevo a decir que este es un libro únicamente para una tarde lluviosa en la que no haya nada que hacer porque a pesar de que no es un libro del tipo profundo pero es tremendamente entretenido.

[Marvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just picked this book for our book club's December read but couldn't wait until December to read it. I guess you can say that a little Christmas mayhem is good for any time of the year. And if you think Christmas tales are rather lame, peruse this single paragraph at the beginning of the novel.

In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by a series of ghosts who, by showing him bleak visions of Christmas future, past, and present, would bring about in him a change to generosity, kindness, and a general warmth toward his fellow man. But this is not that kind of Christmas story, so here in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That's the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho.

The Stupidest Angel is anything but the normal Christmas tale. Christopher Moore has revived the residents of Pine Cove, and some other characters from his other novels, with all their silliness and insanity and added an angel that is one part the Terminator and two part Jim Carry from Dumb and Dumber. This rather short novel has more one-liners than a Henny Youngman convention and more laughs than a barrel of tea party congressmen. I especially loved the return of Roberto T. Fruitbat from Island of the Sequined Love Nun but you do not need to have read any of Moore's other novels to enjoy this one. Put this on your Christmas list and hope someone doesn't kill Santa Claus before December.

[Laurie (barksbooks)]

There's nothing more to say here really. I'm throwing in the towel. I am on disc 3 and have been so completely zoned out I feel like I may have to go all the way back to the beginning. I don't know if I'm just distracted, completely humorless or falling into another slump but this book could not entertain me and I have far too many others sitting here to force it upon myself. The angel is indeed stupid as promised but so are most of the other characters (and there are MANY of them) and it's all a little too wacky/zany for my current pissy mood.

[Chris Haught · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

This really had some potential, and some of the stuff was downright hilarious. But it did seem to run a bit long at times. Still, Christopher Moore is a funny dude and I'll read more of his stuff.

Plus, the audio was dead-on. The narrator, Tony Roberts, had a great voice for narration and nailed the characters. His delivery of Moore's punchlines was spot on too.

[Mauoijenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Santa?
Murdered?
WTF!!
This book had me rooting for the poor dippy angel trying to help the poor boy.
I almost dropped this book into the bathtub from laughing so hard.
IT's that cute.

[Sandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't think a book has made me laugh this much since Good Omens The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. I want to be the Warrior Babe of the Outland and fight zombies who want to eat brains and go to IKEA. I saw the movie Zombieland this past weekend and that might have just put me in the right frame of mind for this book.

Humor in literature is a very subjective thing. What makes one person laugh his butt off is just dumb and annoying to someone else. I love the humor of Connie Willis and I am amused by the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde. I've had quite a few laugh-out-loud moments reading Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series. Personally, I just didn't find The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or the first book in the Discworld series, The Color of Magic, funny at all, but a lot of people I know love these books. So, if you read The Stupidest Angel and hate it, don't blame me. We just might not have the same taste.

I don't know why I haven't read any of Christopher Moore's work before. If this is anything like his other books, I now now where to turn when I need a book that will make me laugh.

Oh, and there is a parental caution. This book is definitely R-rated for sexuality, language and adult situations.

[Florence (Lefty) MacIntosh · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 ½ stars: It starts weak, you know that snarky humour that can wear thin real fast? Then he switches to crude. Crude done well can be hilarious and Moore’s a master. It’s a bizarre story packed with quirky characters, an action packed little page turner. Throw in a cemetery full of gossipy dead people, a murder, an archangel on a mission, zombies and a fruit bat. It’s even got a few decent though admittedly twisted love interests. My favorite the pot addicted cop and his warrior babe wife (a loveable sword wielding psycho who hears voices). I thought it rocked until the ending, which was okay, just pointless. A fast, fun read.

"No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture. IKEA!! IKEA!!"

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so much fun! This was my first Christopher Moore book and it certainly didn't disappoint.

The story focuses on the eccentric residents of Pine Cove, California, a Christmas town in the Big Sur region of central California as they prepare for the Lonesome Christmas party. Little did they know Christmas would be turned upside down as the result of one boy's wish.

This book is hilarious! I found myself frequently laughing out loud. The characters are well rounded. This is book 3 of 3 and I didn't find myself missing out on any back story if the characters really. The story is absurd, which is what makes it so funny. I loved this book, it was a good Christmas read and I can't wait to read more of his work!

[Taury · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore. I liked Lamb a lot. This one just hit the mark for me. I kind of feel eh and meh about it.

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

How else but in a mad lib could you have a book involving an idiot angel, a pot smoking sheriff, a zombie Santa, a talking fruit bat, and Kendra, Warrior Babe of the Outland? From the mind and pen of Christopher Moore, that's how!

This is typical Moore fare, which is to say, atypical, irreverent, and funny as hell. It's a short, quick read that never takes itself the least bit seriously, and, best yet, it's a Christmas story (I really hope they make a movie out of this, as is allegedly in the works. I would watch it every holiday season, assuming they didn't fuck it up).

I honestly don't want to say more about the plot, because it's probably funnier if you don't know what is coming, but I will leave this quote, which comes from the end of Chapter One, to give you an idea of the tone of the book.

In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by a series of ghosts who, by showing him bleak visions of Christmas future, past, and present, would bring about in him a change to generosity, kindness, and a general warmth toward his fellow man. But this is not that kind of Christmas story, so here, in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That's the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho.

Two quick notes after rereading: During my first read, I had somehow missed that a rather important subplot between two main characters, Theo and Molly, is a version of the famous Christmas story The Gift of the Magi, albeit infinitely more absurd. Amiss the chaotic climax, I'd also missed that then ending was an example of a Story That Never Was trope.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ah, what to say about this book? I expected funnier. I really expected funnier. The review I read of this book made me (and my friends) laugh out loud. It was like seeing the trailer for a movie and laughing so much and then going to the show and realizing that the trailer had all the funny bits.

I did like the scene with Molly in the Pine Cove Bait and Tackle and Fine Wine shop. She was my favorite character in the book and I liked the scenes with her. Also, Christmas zombies are always good. The conversations between the dead in the graveyard were fun - I wanted more of that! (And I know all the words to Good King Wenceslaus.) There were some funny bits, sure, but it just did not live up to my expectations. (The angel Raziel was from Lamb and I did like Lamb.) I have not read the other Pine Cove books.

I think the humor was maybe a bit too vulgar for me. I think perhaps there was one too many penis jokes for my taste. I should just know what to expect from a Christopher Moore book by this time. (But I did like Lamb!)

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here we find ourselves in the sleepy Californian village of Pine Cove, home to retirees, tourists and its frankly oddball assortment of denizens begrudgingly creeping towards Christmas. It's just the sort of place for me right now, a cozy community filled with its share of freaks and geeks set up for holiday hijinks.

This time out Moore gives us a smattering of the undead craving brains, not to mention the functional yet elegant furniture design of IKEA, a former B-movie actress barely managing to hold her sword and sorcery past at bay while completely off her antipsychotics, an ex-stoner cop hiding an absolute bumper crop, a talking fruit-bat, and the archangel Raziel who has found himself dirtside yet again.

Writing is hard, writing humor is trecherous high-wire act that treads the thin line between working and failing miserably. Given the grim dumpster fire of 2020 I'm inclined to be generous in the humor department. This is just the thing for those of you looking for a cozy zombie holiday fable.

[Stephen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I generally enjoy Moore's comedies but this one's just too silly.

Raziel, God's stupidest angel has been sent to earth to grant a Christmas miracle to a lucky child. In the quaint village of Pine Cove, he meets 8 year old Joshua, a recent witness to the death of Santa (actually the accidental killing of local jerk Dale, in a Santa suit, by his ex-wife), who fears Christmas is lost. Raziel seeks to rectify the matter by raising Santa--and every other corpse in the graveyard--from the dead on Christmas Eve. Chaos ensues, said zombies ultimately subdued--hacked back to death--by retired B-movie actress Molly, reprising her signature role of Kendra, Warrior Babe of the Outland complete with sword. If that doesn't put you in the Christmas spirit, you're just not ready for the holidays. Some fun moments, but no where near the cleverness of Moore's better books like Fool, Lamb and A Dirty Job.

[Lindsay♫SingerOfStories♫ · Rating 1 out of 5]

"A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror." Yes, that kind of sums it up. This book was just....terrible. I'm sorry, I never, ever say that about books, but this one I just have to.

This is the second book I have read by Christopher Moore. This is the second book I have disliked by Christopher Moore. His books are just too out there for me. I guess I just don't like my Christmas mixed with zombies and pot and ridiculous dead-end relationships in small, hickville towns. The only reason I read this entire book was the humor. It did make me laugh. It was completely ridiculous and stupid (the word is even in the title!)...but I laughed. So I will give it that. Otherwise, it just was NOT my cup of tea.

[Liza Fireman · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nothing here worked for me, not the characters or the plot, I got bored pretty quickly. One of those book where the description outperforms the book itself.
Low level repetitive humor, and not heartwarming. Overall, definitely not worth the time. 1 star.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're sick of all the sentimental Christmas stories and looking for something a little different and have a twisted sense of humor. This is the book for you.

My favorite scenes were when the dead people would talk to each other in the cemetery. I also liked how a lot of characters were very crochety and not shy about cussing.

Christopher Moore is the greatest at twisted, dark humor :)

[Kevin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Heartwarming? (meant ironically) A stupid angel is supposed to give a child his Christmas wish. The 7 year old child sees "Santa" getting hit with a shovel and wishes that Santa was still alive. Santa comes back to life with a group of his dead friends as zombies. This book had a couple of very funny scenes but in my opinion was definitely not worth the time.

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three stars may be generous as I found this a bit disjointed with a few good chuckles. 5 of 10 stars

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Time to start reviewing some of my seasonal favorites, starting with my absolute favorite Christmas book, at least my favorite modern Christmas book. Subtitled A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror, this book doesn't stint on the seasonally heartwarming. Or the terror. Or the laughs!

"Fear not...for I bring you tidings of great joy. Behold, your Christmas wish has been granted...Not what I would have wished for..."

By the time Raziel, the common sense challenged angel of the title, makes this proclamation, a bizarre cautionary tale has spun out. In this season of not just giving, but of asking Santa for stuff, being careful what you ask for is excellent advice. Even the simplest wish can have unintended consequences.

Christmas is coming, and in this neck of the woods...
"Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe."

Into this cozy setting comes Raziel, a Nativity angel on a mission to fulfill the Christmas wish of a child. He finds Josh, who believes he has seen Santa Claus killed (in reality, a local asswipe in a Santa suit). And he wishes...

I don't want to spoil the ensuing mayhem other than to say I can't believe I didn't figure out this particular part of the chaos until it was actually spelled out that this tale would involve...zombeeeez!

A subplot of the book alludes to one of my favorite Christmas classics, The Gift of the Magi. It doesn't really give away much if I mention that Lena, former B-movie actress known for playing Kendra, Warrior Babe of the Outland, saves money by going off her antipsychotic meds in order to buy her husband Theo, a cop, a hand-blown glass bong, and Theo, the cop, starts his own little grow op to get enough money to buy Lena an authentic broadsword, which totally feeds into her Kendra-Warrior-Babe-of-the-Outlands delusions. See? Heartwarming! O. Henry would be proud.

Anyone who has read other Christopher Moore books will recognize many of the characters from several of his other books. Lena, Theo, and the town of Pine Cove itself feature in The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Tucker and Roberto the Fruit Bat are from Island of the Sequined Love Nun, etc. Even Raziel the angel made an appearance in Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. While it's fun seeing all these characters thrown together if you've read about them before, it's not at all necessary to know anything about them going in.

Lastly, one small warning. The cover art could lead to the impression that this might, just might, be a book for children. It's not. In fact, there's an author's warning at the very beginning...

"If you're buying this book as a gift for your grandma or a kid, you should be aware that it contains cusswords as well as tasteful depictions of cannibalism and people in their forties having sex. Don't blame me. I told you."

In fact, the phrase "I-AM-SO-GOING-TO-WASH-YOUR-VOLVO..." may enter your lexicon.

Enjoy!
and
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[Serena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christopher Moore's The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror is another audiobook to entertain, even at 5 A.M. on the commute into the city. My husband and I have gotten into a habit of listening to audiobooks in the car when we travel to and from work, and when we take little road trips.

Christopher Moore's books seem to be the most addictive for us even with the sometimes dark humor and harsh content. The Stupidest Angel is no exception.

The book is set in Pine Cove, Calif., where the Archangel Raziel is set upon Earth to grant a Christmas wish to one child. That child is Josh Barker. Unfortunately, Josh has no idea what is in store when he asks the angel to bring Santa Claus back to life.

With characters like a Warrior babe named Molly, a pot-smoking constable--her husband, a DEA helicopter pilot, and a evil developer, among others, there was nothing to do but sit back and laugh at the follies, misunderstandings, and interactions between these characters. Of course, there had to be a speaking, sunglasses wearing, fruit bat named Roberto! These characters stumble around in their relationships with one another, insulting their spouses and their friends, only to make up in the end, but the ride is raucous.

It gets even crazier in Pine Cover when Molly goes off her medications and starts hearing the narrator in her head, giving her direction. She wonders off into the woods naked and carrying a Japanese sword where she meets Raziel who only wants to eat the marshmallows out of the cocoa packets. Meanwhile, zombies are raging war against the townspeople at the Lonesome Christmas celebration in the local church. The resolution to this story is truly in the Christmas spirit, but the ride to its conclusion is hilarious and action-packed.

[Megan Baxter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the fourth Christopher Moore book I've read, and with the exception of Lamb, which I loved, the other three have evoked much the same reaction. I enjoyed them, I was mildly amused, occasionally laughed, but was left without passion for the books. (I often have the same reaction to Terry Pratchett, which may earn me no friends at all.)

I do enjoy them! I will probably pick another up at some future point. But I'm in no hurry to do so. When I do get around to it, I'm sure I'll enjoy it. But I don't love his books. They're excellent light fun, and sometimes that's what I want. But when I think about picking up another, there's no urgency. There's no little voice in my head saying "You know what you want to read right now? How about some Christopher Moore?"

But who wouldn't love Christmas zombies?

I also haven't read most of the books that this book draws on, so maybe that's where I'm missing some of the fun. But most of the characters are drawn clearly, if superficially, enough for me to keep up all the way along. And I love the fruitbat. And the dog. And mostly enjoy the Warrior Babe.

And definitely the Christmas zombies. And their IKEA obsession.

So if you're looking for a light, enjoyable book, this is it. It's a fast read, and a funny one.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Stupidest Angel really is one crazy, twisted book! This is the warning from author Christopher Moore just prior to the first chapter.....so take heed:

"If you're buying this book as a gift for your grandma or a kid, you should be aware that it contains cusswords as well as tasteful depictions of cannibalism and people in their forties having sex. Don't blame me. I told you."

Anyway, I did have a few laughs resulting from the freakish conversations between the undead in the graveyard, and did like Theo, the incompetent pot-smoking resident lawman as well as the bizarre church scene with the zombies, but it is unlikely this book will become a Christmas tradition for me.

[Olethros · Rating 3 out of 5]

-Humor grueso con herramientas de cine mudo chapoteante.-

Género. Narrativa fantástica.

Lo que nos cuenta. Faltan cinco días para Navidad en el pueblo de Pine Cove, en Norteamérica, habitado por algunas personas bastante peculiares, y la llegada del arcángel Raziel con una misión conseguirá que los comportamientos absurdos y extremos de los diferentes personajes se vuelvan todavía más raros.

¿Quiere saber más de este libro, sin spoilers? Visite:

http://librosdeolethros.blogspot.com/...

[SheriC · Rating 3 out of 5]

A dimwitted and incompetent angel loses a bet and picks a town full of zany characters in which to fulfill it. Hijinks and frantic hilarity ensue.

I found it entertaining enough to occupy my mind while running errands. Audiobook version via Audible. Good performance by Tony Roberts.

[Diane · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stupid is an understatement. Bizarre, sick, twisted. And yet I finished it? What does that make me?