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I Died Too, But They Haven't Buried Me Yet
From Bram Stoker Award-nominated author, Ross Jeffery, comes a new horror novel focused on a father’s journey to find his missing daughter. Henry’s daughter was fourteen when she went missing and he’s been burying pieces of her ever since. Each totem Henry places in the ground is a memento mori of his daughter’s life that he’s desperate to forget. Surviving with the guilt of his possible role in her disappearance, and more than likely her death, Henry is unable to move forward. All is not lost though, when a stranger appears at Henry’s grief counselling group with a dark and disturbing proposition for him. “Have you ever tried to make contact with your daughter, to see if she’s passed?” What follows is a tale of deception and possession like no other. With thriller pacing and words that bleed off the page, Ross Jeffery delivers a terrifying nightmare of how grief can climb inside and bury itself in the human heart.
351 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 24, 2023
63 people are currently reading
3084 people want to read
About the author
Ross Jeffery
28 books363 followersRoss Jeffery is the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of 'Tome', 'Juniper', 'Scorched', 'Only The Stains Remain' and 'Tethered'.
His debut collection 'Beautiful Atrocities' was published in the summer of 2022 through Cemetery Gates Media.
His works to date have been self-published / indie-published and his stand-out, self-published and award-nominated series 'The Juniper Trilogy' is getting a well-deserved re-release in late 2022.
He is also a 3x Splatterpunk nominated author and has had his novellas 'Tethered' and 'Only The Stains Remain' translated into Czech.
'The Devil's Pocketbook', his latest and most anticipated novel to date, will be published by DarkLit press in 2023.
Ross lives in Bristol with his wife and two children.
His debut collection 'Beautiful Atrocities' was published in the summer of 2022 through Cemetery Gates Media.
His works to date have been self-published / indie-published and his stand-out, self-published and award-nominated series 'The Juniper Trilogy' is getting a well-deserved re-release in late 2022.
He is also a 3x Splatterpunk nominated author and has had his novellas 'Tethered' and 'Only The Stains Remain' translated into Czech.
'The Devil's Pocketbook', his latest and most anticipated novel to date, will be published by DarkLit press in 2023.
Ross lives in Bristol with his wife and two children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 118 reviews
May 25, 2024
boy, does this story REEK of being written by a man!
jeffery perfectly captured the male homophobe experience: of course henry's child's disappearance is all about HIM! i read the ebook version, so there was a solid minute and a half of henry's "growth" on the very last pages of the book. does jeffrey want a #1 trans ally award for it? (not to mention his making rowen, the turns-out-to-be-henry's-trans-kid antagonist, the villain who gets beaten to death in the last act of the story. HUH????)
(yeah, that's the main spoiler here. henry's daughter elsie has been missing for 12 years, but it turns out this whole time she was getting gender reassignment therapy that was so good henry, mr. doting father of the year, had no idea that new kid on the block rowen was actually his son. who then goads henry into killing him by claiming HE killed elsie—which, in fairness, he did. all the power to rowen. none of the power to how gross it felt to have a trans character vilified to the point that a raging alcoholic bigot got to LITERALLY punch his lights out.)
the writing behind this story smells heavily of a person who was once told that they should write a book and let that sentiment go directly to their head. 90% of my focus went to criticizing the punctuation errors that the book was riddled with, which is a shame given the absolute killer (ha-ha, get it, because henry kills his own kid? hilarious.) of an opening line. was an editor involved? i would hope that one would have noticed that josh's wife's name changed from hannah to amanda between two chapters, or all of jeffery's unnecessary commas, or the INSANE. USE. OF THE WORD. "MUSED". CHARACTERS CAN THINK. THEY HAVE THOUGHTS. HOW MANY MUSINGS CAN THEY MUSE? mr. jeffery, if i ever meet you, i'd like to ask what on earth you take to boost that self confidence of yours. also, please, for the love of god, review how a semi-colon works. shoutout to my local library for unfortunately taking my suggestion into account when they got this story in their system.
jeffery perfectly captured the male homophobe experience: of course henry's child's disappearance is all about HIM! i read the ebook version, so there was a solid minute and a half of henry's "growth" on the very last pages of the book. does jeffrey want a #1 trans ally award for it? (not to mention his making rowen, the turns-out-to-be-henry's-trans-kid antagonist, the villain who gets beaten to death in the last act of the story. HUH????)
(yeah, that's the main spoiler here. henry's daughter elsie has been missing for 12 years, but it turns out this whole time she was getting gender reassignment therapy that was so good henry, mr. doting father of the year, had no idea that new kid on the block rowen was actually his son. who then goads henry into killing him by claiming HE killed elsie—which, in fairness, he did. all the power to rowen. none of the power to how gross it felt to have a trans character vilified to the point that a raging alcoholic bigot got to LITERALLY punch his lights out.)
the writing behind this story smells heavily of a person who was once told that they should write a book and let that sentiment go directly to their head. 90% of my focus went to criticizing the punctuation errors that the book was riddled with, which is a shame given the absolute killer (ha-ha, get it, because henry kills his own kid? hilarious.) of an opening line. was an editor involved? i would hope that one would have noticed that josh's wife's name changed from hannah to amanda between two chapters, or all of jeffery's unnecessary commas, or the INSANE. USE. OF THE WORD. "MUSED". CHARACTERS CAN THINK. THEY HAVE THOUGHTS. HOW MANY MUSINGS CAN THEY MUSE? mr. jeffery, if i ever meet you, i'd like to ask what on earth you take to boost that self confidence of yours. also, please, for the love of god, review how a semi-colon works. shoutout to my local library for unfortunately taking my suggestion into account when they got this story in their system.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 15, 2023
Grief horror for the win!
Henry is grieving. His daughter Elsie went missing 12 years ago and every year on the anniverary of her disappearance, he buries another piece of her. His ex-wife's moved on but he's stuck in this terrible cycle of regret and pain. The only relief seems to come during the time he spends with his friend Josh at their grief counseling group meetings, but honestly, it's just an excuse to hit the bar afterwards and soak his sorrows in alcohol.
That is, until a stranger named Rowen pops by one evening and offers Henry the opportunity to join a seance - promising him some much needed closure. If she comes through, he'll be able to grieve her properly. If she doesn't, it might mean she's still out there, alive somewhere.
And oh boy, does Elsie ever come through! Henry is now being haunted by her, but in ways he never could have imagined.
This one takes its sweet old time, a slow burn for sure, but one that I read in nearly one sitting. It was a solid 4 star read for me until we hit the twist at the end and then BAM! Jeffery took the whole thing to a new level and there went my head and my heart!
Get this on your radar. You won't want to miss it. I promise you.
Henry is grieving. His daughter Elsie went missing 12 years ago and every year on the anniverary of her disappearance, he buries another piece of her. His ex-wife's moved on but he's stuck in this terrible cycle of regret and pain. The only relief seems to come during the time he spends with his friend Josh at their grief counseling group meetings, but honestly, it's just an excuse to hit the bar afterwards and soak his sorrows in alcohol.
That is, until a stranger named Rowen pops by one evening and offers Henry the opportunity to join a seance - promising him some much needed closure. If she comes through, he'll be able to grieve her properly. If she doesn't, it might mean she's still out there, alive somewhere.
And oh boy, does Elsie ever come through! Henry is now being haunted by her, but in ways he never could have imagined.
This one takes its sweet old time, a slow burn for sure, but one that I read in nearly one sitting. It was a solid 4 star read for me until we hit the twist at the end and then BAM! Jeffery took the whole thing to a new level and there went my head and my heart!
Get this on your radar. You won't want to miss it. I promise you.
May 21, 2024
My Trans ass is laughing so hard right now.
1) I called it as soon as Rowen appeared.
2) This book should have been 5 pages.
3) I’m not even mad by the melodramatics performed throughout the book, and especially in that last hilarious chapter, by the terrible bigoted homophobic and transphobic father. I’m just in awe at how poorly he was written. Truly the scummiest, most underdeveloped, stuck-in-his-ways (not even stubborn, just stuck,) POS I’ve ever read about. I’m surprised this idiot could even recognize top surgery scars.
4) Now I’m yawning. More dead Queers for abusive parents to use as props for their own introspection.
5) When I say this book should’ve been 5 pages, I mean it. A literal entire page and a half describing the “dread” leading up to a guy just turning on a light switch is the most unforgivable part of this book for me.
6) How in the NHS did a teenage runaway get top surgery? How? I need to know. Tell me right now.
7) Read the other low reviews on how this paints Trans people as mentally ill people with DID or Schizophrenia. I don’t have the energy for it.
Whatever, I’m just tired. I think the author had good intentions, and I understand he normally writes splatterpunk. The gore didn’t bother me (there could’ve been more,) but the THEATRICS did. Oh my god. I wanted to die along with everyone else in this book. And I also understand with the genres this author normally gravitates toward, shock factor is going to be a major contributor to the story. But there was no shock. Absolutely nothing surprised me. Nobody changed, nobody grew. This was just a bleak, soggy read with a lot of screaming and cliche “possessed person” dialogue. Also was Terry’s usage of the singular “we” pronoun at the beginning supposed to be a foreshadow?
If I can give one positive thing, it’s Jacob and Roger and the other members of the grief group. The little blips where they showed up were nice little reminders that there were actual humans in this story.
1) I called it as soon as Rowen appeared.
2) This book should have been 5 pages.
3) I’m not even mad by the melodramatics performed throughout the book, and especially in that last hilarious chapter, by the terrible bigoted homophobic and transphobic father. I’m just in awe at how poorly he was written. Truly the scummiest, most underdeveloped, stuck-in-his-ways (not even stubborn, just stuck,) POS I’ve ever read about. I’m surprised this idiot could even recognize top surgery scars.
4) Now I’m yawning. More dead Queers for abusive parents to use as props for their own introspection.
5) When I say this book should’ve been 5 pages, I mean it. A literal entire page and a half describing the “dread” leading up to a guy just turning on a light switch is the most unforgivable part of this book for me.
6) How in the NHS did a teenage runaway get top surgery? How? I need to know. Tell me right now.
7) Read the other low reviews on how this paints Trans people as mentally ill people with DID or Schizophrenia. I don’t have the energy for it.
Whatever, I’m just tired. I think the author had good intentions, and I understand he normally writes splatterpunk. The gore didn’t bother me (there could’ve been more,) but the THEATRICS did. Oh my god. I wanted to die along with everyone else in this book. And I also understand with the genres this author normally gravitates toward, shock factor is going to be a major contributor to the story. But there was no shock. Absolutely nothing surprised me. Nobody changed, nobody grew. This was just a bleak, soggy read with a lot of screaming and cliche “possessed person” dialogue. Also was Terry’s usage of the singular “we” pronoun at the beginning supposed to be a foreshadow?
If I can give one positive thing, it’s Jacob and Roger and the other members of the grief group. The little blips where they showed up were nice little reminders that there were actual humans in this story.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 29, 2025
ok listen. i really didn’t know how to rate this one, because wow i did not expect that ending, and i’m always pleasantly surprised when a book is able to take me so off guard. and i like the supernatural turned real world horror type of vibe. but wow did i hate the main character. homophobic, transphobic, abusive father. it’s impossible to like him, but this is written in a way that makes you want to feel bad for him but honestly, i was rooting against him the entire time. that’s how bad of a person he obviously was. you can tell this was written by a man lol
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July 22, 2023N.B. I do not rate on Goodreads.
Grief horror, yes, but it's not as simple as that...
The first sentence: “Henry was burying his daughter:again.” What a hook! I love a story that immediately makes me ask questions, and this one certainly did. The urge to dig deeper (no pun intended) builds and builds as the novel progresses and the mysteries keep stacking up.
As a fellow Brit, I loved the dark humour too. Bigoted characters such as Henry (insert the suffix ‘phobe’ here and it’ll apply) can be found everywhere, but what Jeffrey’s does is he strikes the balance between offence and fun – a necessary evil when dealing with any trauma, I believe.
You cannot like the MC, Henry, it’s impossible, and yet you cannot help but feel for him either. The friendship built between him and his polar opposite, Josh, is totally believable and heartfelt. Both are battling their own demons, and this cements their friendship.
For some time, I wasn’t certain how much of the horror was imagined and how much of it was real. That becomes evident towards the end. There were times when I felt I was watching a Stephen King movie, one particular scene reminding me of the ‘naked old woman comes lolloping towards Beverly Marsh’ in IT, and that’s because the narrative is multi sensory.
There’s one thing towards the end I daren’t discuss because it would give the game away. All I will say is I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! Did I kick myself? Yes, but that’s why it worked.
My thanks to the author and Clash Books for sending me an ARC.
Grief horror, yes, but it's not as simple as that...
The first sentence: “Henry was burying his daughter:again.” What a hook! I love a story that immediately makes me ask questions, and this one certainly did. The urge to dig deeper (no pun intended) builds and builds as the novel progresses and the mysteries keep stacking up.
As a fellow Brit, I loved the dark humour too. Bigoted characters such as Henry (insert the suffix ‘phobe’ here and it’ll apply) can be found everywhere, but what Jeffrey’s does is he strikes the balance between offence and fun – a necessary evil when dealing with any trauma, I believe.
You cannot like the MC, Henry, it’s impossible, and yet you cannot help but feel for him either. The friendship built between him and his polar opposite, Josh, is totally believable and heartfelt. Both are battling their own demons, and this cements their friendship.
For some time, I wasn’t certain how much of the horror was imagined and how much of it was real. That becomes evident towards the end. There were times when I felt I was watching a Stephen King movie, one particular scene reminding me of the ‘naked old woman comes lolloping towards Beverly Marsh’ in IT, and that’s because the narrative is multi sensory.
There’s one thing towards the end I daren’t discuss because it would give the game away. All I will say is I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! Did I kick myself? Yes, but that’s why it worked.
My thanks to the author and Clash Books for sending me an ARC.
October 20, 2023
SHIT. THAT WAS DARK. Damnit, straight to heck.
I am so thankful to Clash Books and Ross Jeffery for rocking my entire existence with this one, and yall better buckle up with ALL of your seatbelts at the same time because nothing can stop this airbag of a book from punching you into another frame of being. I Died Too, But They Haven't Buried Me Yet is set to hit shelves on October 24, 2023.
Henry Clark is grieving his daughter's disappearance, which has left him with a unique processing ritual -- where he digs 12 years' worth of graves, burying some pieces that Elsie left behind to find closure in her body. He also started a discombobulated grief group that meets from time to time. When an unsavory character shows up to the group with red-hot anger towards each member, Henry, and his sidekick, Josh, pull the Joker aside for a good ole talking to.
Rowen, an acclaimed medium, offers Henry a chance to see if his daughter has indeed passed on through a seance. Knowing he has nothing else to lose after his wife leaves, and he continues to blame himself for his daughter's disappearance, he agrees to the ritual, which only opens a festering wound. After a possession gone wrong, Elsie seems to have taken over Rowen's body, which means she has passed. Still, Henry isn't giving up hope and will stop at nothing to give his daughter a proper burial, but yall wait for the twist that rips readers a new one in the very last chapter. I am still searching for a way to pick my jaw off the ground.
Bravo and omg.
I am so thankful to Clash Books and Ross Jeffery for rocking my entire existence with this one, and yall better buckle up with ALL of your seatbelts at the same time because nothing can stop this airbag of a book from punching you into another frame of being. I Died Too, But They Haven't Buried Me Yet is set to hit shelves on October 24, 2023.
Henry Clark is grieving his daughter's disappearance, which has left him with a unique processing ritual -- where he digs 12 years' worth of graves, burying some pieces that Elsie left behind to find closure in her body. He also started a discombobulated grief group that meets from time to time. When an unsavory character shows up to the group with red-hot anger towards each member, Henry, and his sidekick, Josh, pull the Joker aside for a good ole talking to.
Rowen, an acclaimed medium, offers Henry a chance to see if his daughter has indeed passed on through a seance. Knowing he has nothing else to lose after his wife leaves, and he continues to blame himself for his daughter's disappearance, he agrees to the ritual, which only opens a festering wound. After a possession gone wrong, Elsie seems to have taken over Rowen's body, which means she has passed. Still, Henry isn't giving up hope and will stop at nothing to give his daughter a proper burial, but yall wait for the twist that rips readers a new one in the very last chapter. I am still searching for a way to pick my jaw off the ground.
Bravo and omg.
July 10, 2024
Intriguing story that gripped me from the start. This was an introspective read for me concerning empathy and how far mine goes. It's hard to have any empathy for such a horrible person, even if no one deserves to lose their child. I'll be thinking about it for a while.
July 28, 2024
“For all the fathers and mothers who fail to see their children for who they are…there’s still time.”
Henry, a mysogynistic homophobe (and so many other things), is grieving the loss of his daughter after she’s been missing for 12 years. In a weird ritual of digging graves every year, he buries her over and over again. He starts a grief group with a friend who is his polar opposite, Josh. During one meeting, an unsavory character shows up insulting people left and right, challenging Henry to face his grief head on. In a nightmare of events, Jeffery writes a story of how grief can leech into your soul and never let go.
Buckle up friends. This book is HEAVY. To experience the loss of a child in any way is not something I would wish on anyone. But as we read this story, it is impossible to not feel the depth of grief that Henry is experiencing throughout this book. Jeffery writes such a haunting story of the impact that can occur when you don’t accept people for who they are. The dedication alone gives a message that should grip your heart by the arteries and never let go. This was a gruesome and powerful story of the regrets and shame that a father feels for the loss of a child. I think it’s clear, even after the last page, that you don’t have to pull a trigger to “kill” your child. This is more than the gore, more than the grief, more than the nightmares. This book says so much that matters. Please read it - with caution. ⚠️
Henry, a mysogynistic homophobe (and so many other things), is grieving the loss of his daughter after she’s been missing for 12 years. In a weird ritual of digging graves every year, he buries her over and over again. He starts a grief group with a friend who is his polar opposite, Josh. During one meeting, an unsavory character shows up insulting people left and right, challenging Henry to face his grief head on. In a nightmare of events, Jeffery writes a story of how grief can leech into your soul and never let go.
Buckle up friends. This book is HEAVY. To experience the loss of a child in any way is not something I would wish on anyone. But as we read this story, it is impossible to not feel the depth of grief that Henry is experiencing throughout this book. Jeffery writes such a haunting story of the impact that can occur when you don’t accept people for who they are. The dedication alone gives a message that should grip your heart by the arteries and never let go. This was a gruesome and powerful story of the regrets and shame that a father feels for the loss of a child. I think it’s clear, even after the last page, that you don’t have to pull a trigger to “kill” your child. This is more than the gore, more than the grief, more than the nightmares. This book says so much that matters. Please read it - with caution. ⚠️
March 11, 2024
this is a story about grief, friendship and a homophobic, misogynistic and horrible-horrible piece of shit. this is a story about henry (asshole) who lost his daughter and yet he keeps burying her over and over again. it was a car crash and i couldn’t look away.
was it scary? maybe, but i’d really love to see the ideas of horror visualized.
the ending was heartbreaking but beautiful.
josh was my favorite character and he deserved better, thank you.
henry was a deeply flawed character, so please be wary of the triggers if you pick this up!
was it scary? maybe, but i’d really love to see the ideas of horror visualized.
the ending was heartbreaking but beautiful.
josh was my favorite character and he deserved better, thank you.
henry was a deeply flawed character, so please be wary of the triggers if you pick this up!
July 27, 2023
"Henry was burying his daughter again"....yep I was hooked from the very first sentence, this was a beautifully written thought provoking story, grief horror in my opinion is one of the most evocative and impactful, Ross created an authentic multi dimensional protagonist in Henry, who was impossible to like but simultaneously impossible not to feel sympathy and compassion for, this was incredibly haunting and drips with dread, I loved the supernatural elements and the prose created such a sense of foreboding I was hesitant to turn the pages at times, I love books where the reader doesn't know if the horror is real or imagined, highly recommend to horror fans who want a harrowing emotional terrifying read (who doesn't)I cannot wait to read The Devils Pocketbook!
September 10, 2024
Do not read this book.
This is, without a doubt, one of the worst books I have ever read.
It clearly has not been edited, as it's riddled with grammar mistakes.
The plot is nonsensical and RIDICULOUSLY overlong. Every single thing that happens takes 3 pages; this book could have been a 40-page short story and have the same impact.
Half of the book is just our main character hallucinating Very Scary Things, which is handwaved away in the final chapter with a simple "alcohol makes me see things." Never mind the fact that everything he saw that wasn't explicitly a dream (that's a whole other topic) was seen and even remarked on by his best buddy.
Floating furniture? Spontaneous combustion? Miraculous knowledge? Nah, alcohol makes Henry see things.
Also, seriously, though, how did Rowan know where the mementos were buried.
Here is a sample of the prose: "His fingers led the way, dancing over the glass like a blind man reading Braille – if the book he was reading was called ‘pain and suffering’."
The Biblical allusions were flimsy and half-hearted. One chapter's text, IN ITS ENTIRETY, reads "Henry wept."
Words fail to describe the profundity of the waste of time that this book is.
This is, without a doubt, one of the worst books I have ever read.
It clearly has not been edited, as it's riddled with grammar mistakes.
The plot is nonsensical and RIDICULOUSLY overlong. Every single thing that happens takes 3 pages; this book could have been a 40-page short story and have the same impact.
Half of the book is just our main character hallucinating Very Scary Things, which is handwaved away in the final chapter with a simple "alcohol makes me see things." Never mind the fact that everything he saw that wasn't explicitly a dream (that's a whole other topic) was seen and even remarked on by his best buddy.
Floating furniture? Spontaneous combustion? Miraculous knowledge? Nah, alcohol makes Henry see things.
Also, seriously, though, how did Rowan know where the mementos were buried.
Here is a sample of the prose: "His fingers led the way, dancing over the glass like a blind man reading Braille – if the book he was reading was called ‘pain and suffering’."
The Biblical allusions were flimsy and half-hearted. One chapter's text, IN ITS ENTIRETY, reads "Henry wept."
Words fail to describe the profundity of the waste of time that this book is.
November 28, 2023
Holy crap, didn’t see that coming!! Heartbreaking doesn’t even begin to describe this book. Ross is definitely a master of grief horror, and this one is right there at the top. A man tries to deal with the loss of his daughter who disappeared 12 years earlier, only to have a stranger show up and throw his life into utter chaos. The beautiful way grief and the healing process is described in this book is sublime. Just an incredible look at coming to terms with sadness and things we don’t understand.
August 16, 2024
The worst book I've ever read :(
November 21, 2023
At its heart, this is the story of a man grieving the loss of his daughter and regretting the choices he made which contributed to that loss. Grief horror seems to be Ross Jeffery's thing, as parental grief in particular was at the center of both of the novels of his I have read. Unfortunately, while I had a lot of hope for this book, it ended up being a major disappointment for me for several reasons.
At the most superficial level, the prose in this book was very weak. I recently read The Devil's Pocketbook, the book Jeffery released before this one, and I saw a lot of potential in his turns of phrase, even if the writing felt sloppily edited and the potential not quite completely realized yet. I had picked up this one, hoping to see further growth, but it actually felt like a step backward. Though there were still occasional instances of elegant wordplay, the awkward sentences and grammatical errors vastly outnumbered them, often with several on the same page. I did, admittedly, have an ARC copy, though I went back at one point and compared part of the first chapter to Amazon's sample chapter, and I saw nothing that had been improved before it went to publication, so I suspect the copy I read was very similar to the final. I'm not sure whether to fault the author or editor more, here, but it did not read very professionally, and it definitely affected my ability to lose myself in the story.
Unfortunately, there are deeper issues with this story, as well. The initial premise of a father grieving a missing and most likely dead daughter paints our protagonist as very sympathetic, but he is anything but. Upon reading a little further, you learn that he is very homophobic (and generally a victim of toxic masculinity), and his daughter went missing in the first place because he kicked her out of the house due to her queerness. Now, there are two schools of thought here. I've heard some people state that a story should be told from the perspective of the most oppressed people in the story. While I certainly see the merit of that idea and think it is commonly true, everyone has a story, and I cannot fault someone for wanting to tell this one. Even as a queer person myself, I tried to remain open-minded, keeping in good faith that Jeffery was on my side in the end (especially given the dedication at the beginning of the book). However, while I truly believe the author's heart was in the right place telling this story, it severely missed the mark for me, and I find it very hard to believe that this story ever made it past a sensitivity reader, so I suspect one wasn't used (and one should have been used).
Again, my primary complaint with this story is not in the fact that it is told from the perspective of a homophobic man. An almost identical premise is tackled in Razorblade Tears by S.A. Cosby, and I loved that book. My complaint here is that this homophobic man made it almost the entire way through the book without changing. Even as he's grieving the loss of his daughter at his own hands, he is falling into his same old patterns of homophobia. He even at one point thinks that he still hates what she had become. This made it incredibly difficult to sympathize with or care about his grief, because frankly, he deserved to feel it. The only significant character growth is in the climax, and by that point, it's too late for me to care.
There is also a twist ending, and while I'll give Jeffery credit that I didn't figure it out until the scene before it was revealed, it left a bad taste in my mouth.
All of that to say that, unfortunately, this novel was a major miss, and I suspect this author isn't for me. That said, I wish him the best in his career and do hope that he continues to grow and improve.
At the most superficial level, the prose in this book was very weak. I recently read The Devil's Pocketbook, the book Jeffery released before this one, and I saw a lot of potential in his turns of phrase, even if the writing felt sloppily edited and the potential not quite completely realized yet. I had picked up this one, hoping to see further growth, but it actually felt like a step backward. Though there were still occasional instances of elegant wordplay, the awkward sentences and grammatical errors vastly outnumbered them, often with several on the same page. I did, admittedly, have an ARC copy, though I went back at one point and compared part of the first chapter to Amazon's sample chapter, and I saw nothing that had been improved before it went to publication, so I suspect the copy I read was very similar to the final. I'm not sure whether to fault the author or editor more, here, but it did not read very professionally, and it definitely affected my ability to lose myself in the story.
Unfortunately, there are deeper issues with this story, as well. The initial premise of a father grieving a missing and most likely dead daughter paints our protagonist as very sympathetic, but he is anything but. Upon reading a little further, you learn that he is very homophobic (and generally a victim of toxic masculinity), and his daughter went missing in the first place because he kicked her out of the house due to her queerness. Now, there are two schools of thought here. I've heard some people state that a story should be told from the perspective of the most oppressed people in the story. While I certainly see the merit of that idea and think it is commonly true, everyone has a story, and I cannot fault someone for wanting to tell this one. Even as a queer person myself, I tried to remain open-minded, keeping in good faith that Jeffery was on my side in the end (especially given the dedication at the beginning of the book). However, while I truly believe the author's heart was in the right place telling this story, it severely missed the mark for me, and I find it very hard to believe that this story ever made it past a sensitivity reader, so I suspect one wasn't used (and one should have been used).
Again, my primary complaint with this story is not in the fact that it is told from the perspective of a homophobic man. An almost identical premise is tackled in Razorblade Tears by S.A. Cosby, and I loved that book. My complaint here is that this homophobic man made it almost the entire way through the book without changing. Even as he's grieving the loss of his daughter at his own hands, he is falling into his same old patterns of homophobia. He even at one point thinks that he still hates what she had become. This made it incredibly difficult to sympathize with or care about his grief, because frankly, he deserved to feel it. The only significant character growth is in the climax, and by that point, it's too late for me to care.
There is also a twist ending, and while I'll give Jeffery credit that I didn't figure it out until the scene before it was revealed, it left a bad taste in my mouth.
All of that to say that, unfortunately, this novel was a major miss, and I suspect this author isn't for me. That said, I wish him the best in his career and do hope that he continues to grow and improve.
March 27, 2024
Starting this review with the confession that I am an unbearably slow reader. It took me 2 months to get through this book. A lot of that was my own fault. Things going on in the personal life, other things that I needed to read for the podcast, etc. etc. Things just kept popping up. I Died Too became my book-in-the-margins. The one I returned to, and digested a chapter at a time, before letting those chapters simmer and ferment for a week and then circling back for another go.
This is my second Ross Jeffery book. The Devil's Pocketbook made it clearly apparent that Ross is a master of grief horror. And that dominant theme and mastery is still VERY apparent here. But with this second book, I learned to appreciate Ross's approach to the theme even more. These books, and especially I Died Too, are not written in ways that you can slam down in a single sitting. Or, at least, not in a way that I can. Instead, they're written in a way where you have to sit with these characters, with these thoughts, with these dilemmas for pages on end, until the weight of their crisis fully settles in your bones. You know these characters, intimately, and even the horrible, bigoted POS's (Henry) become, in a way, endearing once you spend so much time with them.
Ross's works aren't lite beers. You don't chug through I Died Too, then crush the can and move on. It's a sipping whiskey from the top shelf, drunk with friends WAY too late in the night as you spill your hearts out to each other. It makes it all the more powerful when those friends get beaten to death in front of you in horrific ways, or as they go trudging into a darkened, overflowing bathroom, and you've got a REAL good guess what's going to be waiting there for them.
It toys with that knowledge. It rips your heart out slowly. Not a Mortal Kombat fatality, but a slow tug where you feel every single ventricle snap. It huuuurts. And it's magic.
Embrace the slow, creeping dread. Take your time with this book, like I did. Let Ross Jeffery bury you piece by piece. Bunny stuffy by Bunny stuffy. Year by year. He'll get you in the ground when he's good and ready.
This is my second Ross Jeffery book. The Devil's Pocketbook made it clearly apparent that Ross is a master of grief horror. And that dominant theme and mastery is still VERY apparent here. But with this second book, I learned to appreciate Ross's approach to the theme even more. These books, and especially I Died Too, are not written in ways that you can slam down in a single sitting. Or, at least, not in a way that I can. Instead, they're written in a way where you have to sit with these characters, with these thoughts, with these dilemmas for pages on end, until the weight of their crisis fully settles in your bones. You know these characters, intimately, and even the horrible, bigoted POS's (Henry) become, in a way, endearing once you spend so much time with them.
Ross's works aren't lite beers. You don't chug through I Died Too, then crush the can and move on. It's a sipping whiskey from the top shelf, drunk with friends WAY too late in the night as you spill your hearts out to each other. It makes it all the more powerful when those friends get beaten to death in front of you in horrific ways, or as they go trudging into a darkened, overflowing bathroom, and you've got a REAL good guess what's going to be waiting there for them.
It toys with that knowledge. It rips your heart out slowly. Not a Mortal Kombat fatality, but a slow tug where you feel every single ventricle snap. It huuuurts. And it's magic.
Embrace the slow, creeping dread. Take your time with this book, like I did. Let Ross Jeffery bury you piece by piece. Bunny stuffy by Bunny stuffy. Year by year. He'll get you in the ground when he's good and ready.
December 14, 2023
When Ross Jeffery gets into the real guts of a story: here being the grief, the tragedy, the helplessness, the desperation, panic and rage, the haunted memories. Yes... all that and a hell of a lot more, it really makes you take a step back, makes you appreciate what he's doing here. It's a lot to take in. You can get a little lost in it. It's tough, sure, but very engaging.
You know what I was thinking when I was reading this?
I was thinking Ross Jeffery really isn't that far away from writing an absolute masterpiece.
Honestly. I felt that a few times.
You might think he already has.
It's just an opinion.
Back on track. There's just a proper sense of fearlessness that Ross has. He tackles difficult subject matter, and I really like that about him. He's genuinely pushing himself. His work is never predictable.
Yes, I have little discrepancies with certain things: similes being one of them, characters who occasionally say something out of context another, but that's me just being picky. Many won't even notice. It's few and far between anyway. Again, only a personal bugbear.
Like I said earlier, when Ross gets into the real guts of the story, he gets it bang on. The unrelenting violence and venomous spit displayed in the last ten percent here is a blinder. Hang around if you think it's slowing down any.
It's building up to something, I promise.
Rating it... One minute I think four stars for this and the next I think five.
For all the right reasons... Five it is.
You know what I was thinking when I was reading this?
I was thinking Ross Jeffery really isn't that far away from writing an absolute masterpiece.
Honestly. I felt that a few times.
You might think he already has.
It's just an opinion.
Back on track. There's just a proper sense of fearlessness that Ross has. He tackles difficult subject matter, and I really like that about him. He's genuinely pushing himself. His work is never predictable.
Yes, I have little discrepancies with certain things: similes being one of them, characters who occasionally say something out of context another, but that's me just being picky. Many won't even notice. It's few and far between anyway. Again, only a personal bugbear.
Like I said earlier, when Ross gets into the real guts of the story, he gets it bang on. The unrelenting violence and venomous spit displayed in the last ten percent here is a blinder. Hang around if you think it's slowing down any.
It's building up to something, I promise.
Rating it... One minute I think four stars for this and the next I think five.
For all the right reasons... Five it is.
January 17, 2024
I have a T baby (if you know, you know), so this story hits HARD. It is written so beautifully and eloquently. Its not just about grief but about becoming a better parent for the child that you hurt so much in not loving them unconditionally.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
This is not a story just for entertainment. It was raw and it was real. It depicts real people in the throws of grief and everyone grieves differently. It also depicts that people are complex.
Grief changes you as a person. There is who you were before a death of a loved one and there is who you are afterwards. It shows that you can be a good person and do bad things for good reasons.
The words and complexity of his writing has shown me that I think I knew myself and how I interpret life but have you ever created something; a panting, decorated a cake, put piggy tails in your little one's hair and then you stand back to admire your work? Have you ever tried to put that moment into words?
I didnt and I didn't know how I would if I tried. Ross Jeffrey widened my eyes to these tiny moments that I thought were insignificant but when I read them on paper, i was shocked at myself for not realizing that those tiny moments are an entire story in themselves.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
This is not a story just for entertainment. It was raw and it was real. It depicts real people in the throws of grief and everyone grieves differently. It also depicts that people are complex.
Grief changes you as a person. There is who you were before a death of a loved one and there is who you are afterwards. It shows that you can be a good person and do bad things for good reasons.
The words and complexity of his writing has shown me that I think I knew myself and how I interpret life but have you ever created something; a panting, decorated a cake, put piggy tails in your little one's hair and then you stand back to admire your work? Have you ever tried to put that moment into words?
I didnt and I didn't know how I would if I tried. Ross Jeffrey widened my eyes to these tiny moments that I thought were insignificant but when I read them on paper, i was shocked at myself for not realizing that those tiny moments are an entire story in themselves.
September 11, 2024
I honestly don’t get what everyone is so excited about.
This book is a major disappointment. Not only does it advertise itself as grief horror, which, might I add, is misleading, but it also has fundamental issues with how it wants to talk about the world.
I’ve seen a lot of reviews talking about how this book is a great book analyzing homophobia, or an allegory for homophobia, or whatever. And, at least for me, that is definitely not the case. This book is a Blumhouse film (not a compliment) that happens to be in novel form and happens to have a gay person in it.
I spent this time frustrated, and exhausted. Maybe Ross Jeffery just isn’t for me, or maybe this book is severely overrated. I’m not sure.
This book is a major disappointment. Not only does it advertise itself as grief horror, which, might I add, is misleading, but it also has fundamental issues with how it wants to talk about the world.
I’ve seen a lot of reviews talking about how this book is a great book analyzing homophobia, or an allegory for homophobia, or whatever. And, at least for me, that is definitely not the case. This book is a Blumhouse film (not a compliment) that happens to be in novel form and happens to have a gay person in it.
I spent this time frustrated, and exhausted. Maybe Ross Jeffery just isn’t for me, or maybe this book is severely overrated. I’m not sure.
October 24, 2023
Another killer read from Ross Jeffery. Grab it!
April 22, 2024
“I Died Too, But They Haven't Buried Me Yet" by Ross Jeffery is a gripping and emotionally intense exploration of grief, guilt, and the terrifying lengths we will go to in order to find closure.
Jeffery's skillful storytelling takes us on a journey of psychological suspense, as Henry's desperation leads him down a dark path of possible contact with his daughter from beyond the grave.
Highly recommended for fans of psychological thrillers.
Jeffery's skillful storytelling takes us on a journey of psychological suspense, as Henry's desperation leads him down a dark path of possible contact with his daughter from beyond the grave.
Highly recommended for fans of psychological thrillers.
Read
February 19, 2024I spent real money on this based on all these 5 star reviews and let me ask what the EFF you all were reading?
November 9, 2025
This is an example of grief horror at its best! Beautifully descriptive, haunting, eerie, powerful, emotional and heart wrenching. I enjoyed the humour threaded throughout too, which helped to ease the sadness ever so briefly from time to time and was very much needed.
It was a pretty creepy, and at times, disturbing read that had me on edge, and I even caught myself holding my breath in anticipation on several occasions.
Burdened with the grief of his lost daughter, not knowing where she is, or if it was because of something he did, Henry gets the opportunity to maybe find out for sure, and takes it, and the consequences are shocking and very poignant.
Overwhelming grief, grief so deep and guilt ridden it almost causes insanity in the bearer, alongside rage, desperation, fear, and heartbreak, and a friendship built on those shared experiences, make this a story you can't help but become invested in, alongside the characters too. You'll love them, hate them, and want to wrap them in your warm embrace for various reasons.
The story unfolds tantalisingly, all your senses are ignited as well as your emotions, and it's properly tense and creepy.
And the conclusion! The conclusion had me completely enrapt, mouth agape, and holding my breath.
The back and forth between Rowen and Elsie was so visceral and utterly spine-chilling, I fear it is going to haunt my dreams...and that ending!!!! What a twist, I absolutely did not see that one coming, it left me utterly floored!!
This story delves to the deepest depths of grief and guilt and hits so damn hard. A real punch to the psyche! Such a big, emotional, and lasting impact.
And yeah, you might need some tissues for this one! 💔
It was a pretty creepy, and at times, disturbing read that had me on edge, and I even caught myself holding my breath in anticipation on several occasions.
Burdened with the grief of his lost daughter, not knowing where she is, or if it was because of something he did, Henry gets the opportunity to maybe find out for sure, and takes it, and the consequences are shocking and very poignant.
Overwhelming grief, grief so deep and guilt ridden it almost causes insanity in the bearer, alongside rage, desperation, fear, and heartbreak, and a friendship built on those shared experiences, make this a story you can't help but become invested in, alongside the characters too. You'll love them, hate them, and want to wrap them in your warm embrace for various reasons.
The story unfolds tantalisingly, all your senses are ignited as well as your emotions, and it's properly tense and creepy.
And the conclusion! The conclusion had me completely enrapt, mouth agape, and holding my breath.
The back and forth between Rowen and Elsie was so visceral and utterly spine-chilling, I fear it is going to haunt my dreams...and that ending!!!! What a twist, I absolutely did not see that one coming, it left me utterly floored!!
This story delves to the deepest depths of grief and guilt and hits so damn hard. A real punch to the psyche! Such a big, emotional, and lasting impact.
And yeah, you might need some tissues for this one! 💔
November 27, 2023
When you crack open a Ross Jeffery book, you know he's going to make you hurt. 'I Died Too' did it to me again.
Right from the jump, that prologue is pretty epic. Ross had me hooked immediately. I was immediately immersed in Henry's grief.
As it turns out, I didn't really end up liking Henry, he was not a very likable character....totally intentional on the author's part. This led me to have conflicted feelings throughout the book, I cared about what was going on, but I didn't like that I cared.
This one is a bit of a slow burn, it was psychological horror, grief horror with a bit of mystery (how did Henry fail Elsie, and what is up with the strange things occurring to him). I figured out some important plot points kind of early, but that didn't take away from the final pages. I was actually second guessing myself throughout the second half of the book. Looking forward to the Limited Thunderstorm edition.
Recommended if you like human monsters, possession horror, grief.
Right from the jump, that prologue is pretty epic. Ross had me hooked immediately. I was immediately immersed in Henry's grief.
As it turns out, I didn't really end up liking Henry, he was not a very likable character....totally intentional on the author's part. This led me to have conflicted feelings throughout the book, I cared about what was going on, but I didn't like that I cared.
This one is a bit of a slow burn, it was psychological horror, grief horror with a bit of mystery (how did Henry fail Elsie, and what is up with the strange things occurring to him). I figured out some important plot points kind of early, but that didn't take away from the final pages. I was actually second guessing myself throughout the second half of the book. Looking forward to the Limited Thunderstorm edition.
Recommended if you like human monsters, possession horror, grief.
September 4, 2025
Henry, the protagonist, is hands down one of the most repulsive characters I’ve ever read. A very transphobic, homophobic man, who, *spoiler alert* ends up killing his trans son in the end. Literally beats him to death. And only cares that he beat him to death when he realizes that Rowen was actually his daughter that went missing 12 years prior and during that time transitioned into Rowen.
I wanted to DNF this book so many times, but I’ve never done that before, and I wasn’t going to start now. Honestly, I wish I had. Between the relentlessly unlikeable lead, the sloppy execution, and the glaring grammar issues (seriously, was this even edited?), this was an exhausting read for all the wrong reasons.
Oh, wait. Did I mention that this was also a complete bore of a book and definitely did not need to be 300 pages?
I almost never say this about books, but here it is: do yourself a favor and don’t bother. Life’s too short for this kind of trash.
I wanted to DNF this book so many times, but I’ve never done that before, and I wasn’t going to start now. Honestly, I wish I had. Between the relentlessly unlikeable lead, the sloppy execution, and the glaring grammar issues (seriously, was this even edited?), this was an exhausting read for all the wrong reasons.
Oh, wait. Did I mention that this was also a complete bore of a book and definitely did not need to be 300 pages?
I almost never say this about books, but here it is: do yourself a favor and don’t bother. Life’s too short for this kind of trash.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 6, 2024
I honestly wasn’t expecting this storyline. I think it depicts grief in the most heartbreaking way. He captures the characters personalities in the best way possible, showing the ugly and beautiful sides of people. The main character is a wreck and his personality isn’t admirable, however it is the point of the storyline. He is not a great person and by the time he makes amends and comes to terms with the matter of his wrong doing’s its too late for remorse. The story itself had a great pace and like I said, the storyline was not what I expected.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 29, 2023
Ohhhh this is so interesting. A bit slow paced so I wont really say its thrilling but the horror aspect more on the grief and how loss affects you. The execution can be better but the concept was really interesting.
Thank you to Edelweiss and publisher for e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to Edelweiss and publisher for e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
April 10, 2024
A true 4.6. Definitely a slow burn book, but once i got into it I found it hard to put down. I finished an hour and a half ago and I’m still sad from it
September 13, 2024
Wow this is a dark read! This is such a heart breaking and gut wrenching tale. I'll be thinking about this one for a long time!
October 2, 2024
“First and foremost, my heartfelt gratitude goes out to my dear friend and supremely talented, Josh Malerman, to whom this book is dedicated.
Thank you Josh for being so generous with your time, expertise and encouragement during the writing of this book. Your crazy idea of writing books at the same time and swapping first drafts every 10k paid off greatly (I can’t wait for people to discover your novel ‘Incidents Around The House).”
That part in the acknowledgments totally tripped me out! I love Incidents and thought it was so cool they were trading drafts back and forth. This book, however, was just okay for me. My favorite chapters were the prologue and the last one. Everything came together in a very sad way but it made so much sense. I just felt the journey there had way too much back and forth. I also hated the MC Henry, which was absolutely the point. It just made it difficult for me to really care. His homophobia did play into the story and serve a purpose in the plot but what a POS.
Overall, there’s grief horror out there Id be quicker to recommend than this one.
Thank you Josh for being so generous with your time, expertise and encouragement during the writing of this book. Your crazy idea of writing books at the same time and swapping first drafts every 10k paid off greatly (I can’t wait for people to discover your novel ‘Incidents Around The House).”
That part in the acknowledgments totally tripped me out! I love Incidents and thought it was so cool they were trading drafts back and forth. This book, however, was just okay for me. My favorite chapters were the prologue and the last one. Everything came together in a very sad way but it made so much sense. I just felt the journey there had way too much back and forth. I also hated the MC Henry, which was absolutely the point. It just made it difficult for me to really care. His homophobia did play into the story and serve a purpose in the plot but what a POS.
Overall, there’s grief horror out there Id be quicker to recommend than this one.
June 10, 2024
Holy shit
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