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74 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1929
Who, in the heart of some anxiety at the bottom of certain dreams, has not know death as a marvelous, disruptive feeling which could never be confused with anything else of a mental order? One must have experienced with this exhausting crescendo of anguish which comes over one in waves and then swells one up as if forced by some unbearable bellows. Anguish which draws near then withdraws, each time stronger, more ponderous and replete. This is the body itself, having reached the limit of its strength and distension, and yet must go on. It is a sort of suction cup on the soul, whose acridity spread like acid into the furthermost bounds of the senses. And the soul cannot even fall back on a breakdown. For this distension itself is false. Death is not so easily satisfied. In the order of physical experience, this distension is like an inverted image of the contraction which takes possession of the mind over the whole extend of the living body.
[...]- Who, in their heart...
* * *
Madam,
You live in a poor room in the midst of life. We would like to hear the sky murmur at your windows, but in vain. Nothing, neither your appearance, nor an air distinguishes you from us, but some foolishness or other more deeply-rooted than experience leads us to endlessly slash and banish your face, right down to the jointures of your life.
[...]- Letter to the Clairvoyante, for André Breton
* * *
Life shrinks before his eyes. Whole areas of his brain rotted. This is a known phenomenon, yet it is not simple. Abelard did not put his condition forward as a discovery but, anyway, he wrote:
My Dear Friend,
I am huge. I cannot help it, I am a summit where the highest masts assume breasts in the shape of sails, while women feel their sexual organs turn as hard as pebbles. For my part, I cannot help feeling all these eggs haphazardly pitch and toss under their dresses according to the time and the mind. Life comes and goes, grows small through their breast-pavement. The world's aspect changes from one minute to the next. Souls with their celluloid cracks wrapped themselves around fingers and Abelard passed between the films, for the mind's erosion hung over everything.
[...]- Heloise and Abelard
* * *
The sky's murmuring frame continued to trace the same amorous signs on the window pane of his soul, the same friendly messages which might perhaps save him from being a man if he consented to save himself from love.
He must give in. He cannot contain himself any longer. He gives in. This harmonious seething presses in on him. His genitals throb: a tormenting wind murmurs, making a sound higher than the heavens. The river flows with female corpses. Are they Ophelia, Beatrice, or Laura? No, ink, no, wind, no, reeds, banks, shores, foam, flakes. The floodgates are down. Abelard has made floodgates out of his desire. At the juncture of the atrocious, harmonious upsurge. It is Heloise, rolling over, borne towards him - AND SHE IS VERY WILLING.
[...]- Transparent Abelard
* * *
Ucello, my friend, my fantasy, you lived with this myth about hair. The shadow of that great lunar hand whereby you imprint the fantasies of your brain will never reach your ear's vegetation, which turns and teems leftward with all the drifts of your heart. The hairs are left, Uccello, dreams are sinister, as are nails and the heart. The shades all open sinister as human orifices, naves. With your head resting on that table where the whole of humanity capsizes, how could you see anything else but the huge shadow of a hair. A hair like two forests, like three finger-nails, a meadow of eyelashes, like a rake in the sky's grasses. Choked and hanged people, eternally staggering about on the plains of that flat table-top on which your heavy head is bowed. And near you, when you examine facets, what do you see but the branching circulation, a latticework of veins, the tiniest trace of a wrinkle, the floral tracework of a sea of hair.[...]- Uccello the Hair, for Génica
* * *
These discharged, nausea, lashes. These are the things where Fire starts. Tongues and their fire. Fire woven into coiled tongues in the shimmering of the earth, opening up like a belly in labour, with its honey and sugar bowels. All this soft belly's obscene wound yawns open, but the fire gapes above it with burning, tortuous tongues, with vents as if thirsting at the tips. This fire entwined like clouds in limpid water and beside it the light delineates a rule and filaments. And the earth half open, everywhere, revealing arid secrets. Secrets like surfaces. The earth and its guts and its prehistoric solitude, the earth's primitive formations where the world's strata are uncovered in coal-black shadows.[...]
[...]- The Anvil of Strength
* * *
He said he saw a great preoccupation with sex in me. But taut sexual organs, swollen like an object. An object made of metal and boiling lava, filled with rootlets, with boughs caught by the air.
The astounding genital calmness filled with so much scrap iron. Air gathers around the iron from every direction.
And above them a fiery growth, a meagre, tangled pasture which takes root in this bitter mould. And it grows with ant-like gravity, an ant-hill foliage forever digging deeper into the earth. This heinously black foliage grows and digs down, and as it delves, it seems as if the earth grows distant, that the ideal centre of everything gathers about a progressively more slender point.
[...]- The Personal Automaton, to Jean de Bosschére
* * *
I wanted her shimmering with flowers, with flowers, with little volcanoes attached to her armpits and especially that bitter cystic lava at the core of her body, standing erect.
There was also an eyebrow arch and the entire sky passed under it. A sky truly full of rape, kidnapping, lava; a storm and fury sky, in short, an utterly theological sky. A sky like a standing arch, like the trumpet of doom, like hemlock drunk in dreams, a sky contained in all the phials of death, a Heloise above Abelard sky, a loving suicide sky, a sky possessing all the furies of love.
The sky was a protestor's sin, sin held back at confession, those ins which burden the conscience of priests, a truly theological sin.
And I loved her.
[...]- The Window of Love