Transsexual Apostate: My Journey Back to Reality

by Debbie Hayton

In 2016, Debbie Hayton underwent gender reassignment surgery. Fast forward to today, and Hayton's refusal to validate the standard gender identity orthodoxy has led to excommunication by the trans activist community. What happened? Transsexual Apostate weaves an intimate account of Debbie's story into a forensic critique of trans ideology. Focussing mainly on transwomen, she examines the reality of male autogynephilia and argues that the vast majority of transwomen are men with a psychological disorder that needs to be managed compassionately. Trans activists should give up their quasi-religious claims and cynical power plays and acknowledge the legitimate issues that many have with their agenda. Hayton's honest, humane book shows that accepting reality will allow transwomen to live their best lives based on the truth of who they are, rather than the fantasy of who they are not.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Politics, Autobiography, Transgender

227 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 1, 2024

Reviews

[Genevieve Helene · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very interesting book from a well-known transwoman, recounting her experience transitioning and her strongly held belief that trans rights should not eclipse biological women's sex based rights. Despite unrelenting pressure from large numbers of followers of trans ideology, she has remained steadfast in her view that transwomen and women are, of course, of equal importance, but they are not the same. She is in agreement with gender critical feminists and, with them, firmly believes that biology creates differences that can not be glossed over or ignored.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Integrity matters. I am just one person and the same person in all contexts - a male transsexual. The quasi-religious trans community from which I escaped, no doubt sees it very differently. But it’s far better to be a transsexual apostate grounded in reality than a follower of their ideology clinging desperately to that ethereal fantasy that we have a gender identity. we don’t, and what’s more it turns out we don’t need one. fulfillment is not found in identity groups no matter how colorful the flag. It comes through self-awareness, self-understanding, and self-contentment. Transition was hard work, self discovery was harder but infinitely more worthwhile. Why would anyone want to be defined by a transgender identity when they could just be themselves.” - Debbie Hayton in closing of “Transexual Apostate”

[Jack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Debbie tells an honest, vulnerable, and courageous story. The key theme I felt in this was humility - she acknowledges all the mistakes she made and how these affected her family. To have even one trans woman address Autogynephilia and acknowledge it as a real thing is a step towards progress. I hope it helps people find some compassion for AGP, as I’ve heard it can take over a man’s life and change his trajectory, even if he is a kind and selfless person by nature. Acknowledging this does not mean we disregard how this impacts families and ‘trans widows’ - we can understand both perspectives and hopefully move towards real progress.

Thank you Debbie!

[Simon Fletcher · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found Hayton's story and book to be a somewhat perplexing read for a number of reasons.

1. She believes sex to be immutable but continues to hold to the label transsexual. Surely, if biological sex is, as she claims, unchangeable and she has undergone gender reassignment surgery (GRS), then she is transgender. This may be a by the by thing and hair splitting, but it's typical of the slightly illogical positions to which she ascribes.

2. Her repudiation of gender identity ideology stating that the modern transgender community sets trans people apart, assiging them a gender identity that labels and defines her and everyone else. And yet, while she sees this labelling as a problem, she then seeks to label herself and many within the trans community with a psychological pathology, autogynophillia. I do not understand why she is seemingly so keen to pathologise herself and others within the trans community.

3. She criticises much of the characterisation of the anti-trans and trans questioning movement and states they have been the victims of sustained and vile attacks for asking legitimate questions (Its true that she has the target of some extremely toxic and threatening harassment). Yet she glosses over the same level of harassment that trans people and their allies receive from the anti-trans movement. How many times have trans individuals and allies been called preverts and child abusers.

4. The evidence she uses is often selective, biased, and far too anecdotal. Just because she doesn't recognise something, in one particular case, the villification felt by some transgender individuals doesn't mean to say it isn't real or true.

Interesting but flawed and too one-sided.

[Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an appalling book. It’s not about the content where Debbie Hayton professes to see the light as a transwoman. The problem is that the whole book is a screed about gender identity ideology (as in self-identified). Debbie, by training a secondary physics teacher is also a veteran union rep. She’s also a policy wonk who would make Hilary Clinton look like a punter. In attempting to make her point over and over and yet again over, Debbie is an utter bore - even when she opens the book with an overtly graphic description of her bottom surgery. She never manages to make her point even when she comes up with some jumbo-jumbo science to explain her need to transition as a forty-something year old. Do not think about spending money on this book. I only finished it because I mistakenly spent money hoping to discover some illumination and understanding about the transgender epidemic we are currently experiencing.

[Eithne Murray]

This book, an account of one person's experience, should be required reading for all working with young people and identity.
The afterword from her wife is highly illuminating, revealing the voice of a stakeholder who's been silenced.
One major issue in the discourse, which this book highlights, is the intolerance of disagreement, even respectful disagreement, reminiscent of the grip of the Catholic church on truth over the centuries.

[ColleenM · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I heard Debbie interviewed on the "Gender: A Wider Lens" podcast, her comments resonated with me. Although I am older than Debbie, much of her experience resonated with me and my life experiences. I especially appreciated the epilogue in which her wife, Stephanie, gave a candid account of what she experienced and felt during Debbie's transition.

[Renata Connors · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was interesting to find out about the alternative approach to gender issues. Especially as this was written by a trans person, somebody who has been through the transition proces herself. It helped me to view gemder identity from different angles.

[Phillip Tyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

An important voice in the arena.

[Bleu · Rating 5 out of 5]

May 2025
This is phenomenally interesting. However, it's the epilogue that speaks volumes.

[Fred · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very candid, intimate, and sensitively written account of Debbie’s journey as a trans woman, and her agreements and disagreements (largely the latter) with where the activism has gone in more recent times. She comes across as a truly honourable character who has done a lot of soul-searching to reach the conclusions she has. (To sum it up in one: to describe the best trans approach, she uses the verb “to do” - not “to be”!)

The epilogue by Debbie’s wife (from when she was a man), Stephanie, also proves that trans issues aren’t just about trans people: they are about the spouses, children, loved ones left behind…so many parties are affected and they cannot be dismissed. The acknowledgement of this in this book makes it one of the most humane and powerful (if sometimes disturbing) memoirs I’ve read.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to follow.