Bisexuality: The Basics: Your Q&A Guide to Coming Out, Dating, Parenting and Beyond

by Lewis Oakley

My partner doesn't believe I'm bisexual, what should I do?How should I approach sex with someone of a different gender for the first time?Can I reconcile being bisexual with wanting a biological child? Identifying as bisexual can be a pretty confusing experience - navigating experimentation versus orientation, at times presenting as a straight-passing member of a queer community, at other times having people discredit your attraction to multiple genders. Lewis Oakley, creator of the Ask A Bi Dad column, knows every trick in the book - and he's here to answer your most burning questions...Warm, chatty, wise and startlingly honest - this is your new bi bible.

Genres: LGBT, Nonfiction

156 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 21, 2024

Reviews

[Eekind · Rating 3 out of 5]

I get that it’s a hard pun to put down, but this is maybe only a Bi-ble for Cis White Bi Men that have dated Men, cause the rest of the Bi+ experience is pretty downplayed or dismissed in the book itself

I like that he is affirming of bi people while for the most part not coddling their internalized homophobia. I could have done without his weird story about making out with a girl in front of a gay bar and his queer friends dunking on him, it didn’t seem that deep except to frighten other late in life Bis that people will diminish your identity

Like sometimes your in community and step on other people’s toes. You can be introspective and see where other people are coming from instead of labeling everything biphobia

Kind of annoying we switch from one chapter having Oakley be very supportive of leaving an abusive partner that doesn’t support your bisexuality. Yet suddenly we have this bullshit about “if your sexuality makes your Lerner uncomfortable just trying hiding your personality and pretending you don’t want to flirt with people of the same or non same gender that makes your partner angry” like this is shit advice

I agree Bi+ ppl need to be more visible/be in positions of influence jn the larger LGBT+ community. However I think all the stuff about Straight ppl being biphobic and fixation on being able to have bio children isn’t universal. Those are valid experiences but this book framing them as huge material barriers just doesn’t ring true, even when I have a lot of shared experience w Oakley otherwise

And I think that’s one of the biggest hurdles for me that goes beyond scope, I feel like k have shared experiences with Oakley but I don’t spend the majority of my time being bitter about the rest of the queer community not centering me, I actually put in the work to be in queer and Bi+ spaces and trying to be in dialogue to make those more productive and welcoming spaces. I don’t feel that this narrative really supports that worldview. It’s way more focused on being misanthropic about how Bi+ ppl are treated in abstract than how us holding space in these situations is making the world less cruel to our future selves and people like us that will enter community after us

[Michael Rapp]

A lovely chatty Q&A style book that reads like having a conversation with a more experienced and wiser Bi-Bestie. I appreciated it's very clear and easy to read language and the focus of growing supportive friend- and relationships that acknowledge you for you. While i would say that even though the assumed default in the book is a cis-binary person aspiring a monogamous relationship, the book does state that there are lived realities beyond it's scope.
I'd say the book is exactly what it says on the cover: The Basics of bisexuality

Highly recommended reading for any multisexual peeps!💛

[Erizim · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all, this is just my personal opinion on a very vast topic and is largely based on individual perceptions, so my view certainly has its limits. Still, I wanted to write something, just for fun.

I bought this book at Common Press, a very interesting place in London, because I was curious to see what could be said on this topic. The book is very “approachable.” Personally, I don’t agree with everything that is said or the way it’s expressed, but in general, I think it can be a comforting read, especially for people who are discovering their own identity. Some points the author makes may seem “obvious” or like naive doubts, but I believe that sometimes that’s okay: these are questions some people may have in their heads but never find the courage to voice aloud, which can leave them unaware of important things or feeling excluded from the world.

Overall, I would recommend it to anyone who thinks they might identify as bisexual. English isn’t my first language, so reading it was also an interesting exercise for me. I find it well written, as far as I can tell

[Jaklin Lindberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love who you love and accept love from those who care for you. Don't let society erase your sexuality because of your current partner. This message is important for both those inside and outside the community who live between different worlds. Educating yourself and advocating in both directions can be very helpful. As an ally with friends who identify as bisexual, I strive to improve and support them, both for their sake and together.

[Jenna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was very excited to read this book but I was a bit disappointed with it. Somehow the author's writing style felt offensive at times. I'm sure that wasn't intended but that's how I felt. It's been so long since I read this book that I don't remember anything in detail anymore. But I think I learned something new, at least.

3.25 stars.

[Sophia Navarro Barron · Rating 5 out of 5]

- Very approachable writing style.
- literally covers all topics I could have ever thought of in a concise, hopeful, and realistic manner
- Q&A is sorted into broad categories
- loved the author's passion for being a bisexuality ambassador/communicator

[Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great for families!

[Virginia · Rating 4 out of 5]

good guide

This was a good read. I liked the question and answer format. It’s always nice to read about others who have similar experiences.