From the author of If I Can Give You That comes an emotional novel that follows a transgender teen who must grapple with a friendship fracturing and a new romance blossoming, all while being haunted by a devastating loss. A must-read for fans of How It Feels to Float and The Ghosts We Keep.
Caleb’s world broke the day his brother died of a drug overdose. Now in the throes of grief, Caleb hardly ever sees his friends anymore, and school isn’t much better. He’s on the verge of failing his songwriting class, never mind that music used to be his greatest passion. Even Tanya, his best friend, is growing tired of trying to push him back into his life.
But perhaps most concerning of all: A black cat has been following Caleb around…a cat that only he can see. A cat that may just be a ghost.
Then Caleb is assigned a songwriting partner in class: Emmett, the nonbinary lead singer of a local punk band. The cat takes a liking to Emmett—and maybe Caleb does, too. As they write together, Caleb begins opening up about his grief, and the two realize they have more in common than expected. Now Caleb will have to decide if he is ready to heal with Emmett’s help—or recede in life and become as invisible as the ghostly cat at his heel.
Michael Gray Bulla is a graduate of Wells College, where he majored in Creative Writing. He was named the 2017 Nashville Youth Poet Laureate with Southern Word, and his poetry collection, Letters to the Home, was published in 2019. He is the author of two young adult novels: If I Can Give You That (2023) and The Ghost of You (2024). Originally from Tennessee, Gray currently resides in Ithaca, New York with his partner and their two cats, Hermes and Hera. You can visit him online at michaelgraybulla.com or on Instagram @graybulla.
For fans of Mason Deaver. For those who have a soft spot for sadder stories. And definitely for cat lovers.
The Ghost of You is just up my alley, and I was so happy that I got to read it. I'm also a little stunned, that so few people have read it so far and added it to their TBR. This book is really good, everyone!
The Ghost of You is an emotionally charged story about grief with a great cast of side characters. This year, I read quite a few new YA books about losing someone, such as This is Me Trying, Another First Chance, and When Haru was Here, and The Ghost of You perfectly fits this list.
Caleb is lost. He lost his older brother who was addicted to drugs because of an overdose, he feels like he lost the connection to his parents who want to start living again, and without noticing at first, he also slowly loses his best friend. He loves to write music but lost the ability to write since Jack, his brother died. But when he gets closer to Emmet, a classmate, he starts to feel happier again but, at the same time, feels like he is not allowed to be happy.
A cat plays a major role in this story, and I loved it. Caleb sees the black cat often and knows it’s not a living cat, so he calls it Ghost. Ghost follows Caleb everywhere, especially if he’s not feeling well or when he meets new people.
As time passes, Caleb drinks and uses weed more. He even finds Jack’s cigarettes and starts smoking to be closer to Jack. Throughout the story, it became so clear that Caleb didn’t know how to deal with his grief. I had tears in my eyes while reading the first part quite a few times because of all those small signs of pain, also from his parents. The second half of the book focuses more on Caleb’s coping mechanisms.
I loved the side characters: Caleb’s parents, who tried to help their son while dealing with their own grief; Tanya, Caleb’s best friend; and, of course, Emmett. They were such a wonderful friend, calm and fierce at the same time.
” What matters is that he’s gone, and now everyone else has gotta find a way to live without him. So, just don’t spend so much time trying to make sense of it all that you forget about living, okay?”
I liked one thing less and, therefore, decided to round my 4.5 rating down instead of up. A few times, it was mentioned that Caleb needed to sober up before driving home. He only got called out on it because Tanya came home too late (1.5 hours) and because she disapproved of his drinking habits overall. Thinking you can sober up on the same evening you got drunk or high? This is so dangerous. You might think you’re able to drive again, but in reality, you need to wait much longer than 1.5 hours.
Overall, I really loved this story and can’t wait for what Michael Gray Bulla has in store for us next!
Thank you, Harper360YA and NetGalley, for this fantastic ARC!
Many thanks to Harper360YA for the digital review copy.
Petition for people to stop sleeping on Michael Gray Bulla's books.
Having loved his debut, If I Can Give You That, and having loved The Ghost of You now, I think it's safe to say I can add a new author to my list of favourites. I'm so impressed with his ability to write books with super heavy themes in a way that gives them space to exist while still remaining hopeful.
The Ghost of You is about grief, following trans teen Caleb who's lost his brother to addiction. Caleb is really struggling to process this enormous loss, and he doesn't always use the healthiest of coping mechanisms. I love how real this book felt, with Caleb portrayed as a realistic character, instead of a rolemodel. Caleb doesn't know how to deal with his grief, particularly how to talk to others about it, and I empathized with him so much.
But in the midst of all the grief, this book is also filled with so many different kinds of love, which really made this story feel hopeful. Caleb is surrounded by so many loving people, like his parents, best friend, and new-found partner Emmett, who is an absolutely wonderful love interest.
After the tragic overdose of his brother, Caleb struggles with grief and isolation, jeopardizing his passion for music and pushing away friends. When he partners with Emmett, a nonbinary musician, and encounters a ghostly cat, Caleb confronts his pain and begins to find the possibility of healing and connection.
Please review content warnings prior to reading.
*spoilers*
I really enjoyed this one. Feels weird to say for a book dealing with such heavy topics, but I felt incredibly connected to the grief and using alcohol to try and not be you for a bit. My heart broke every time Caleb talked about his pain and grief. I wanted to hug him. Loved the family dynamics and how they were all just trying to figure out how to keep living. Grief is a beast. Who shows up as a cat, kind of.
Emmett is the sweetest cinnamon roll. I love them so much. An incredible friend, support, listener, and partner. I melted when they said they wanted to kiss Caleb! Their backstory made my heart ache. How cute were Emmett and Caleb though!! Love how they accepted each other. Caleb’s very real guilt that he was happy hurt my heart.
I really liked the writing style and how to book was split up. I thought it was really well done, and I’d recommend it. I picked it up from a blurb by Adam Sass and I’m so happy I did!
I'm sad this novel hasn't yet gotten as much of a reaction on Goodreads as If I Can Give You That did!
This one really creeps up on you effectively. I admire how it maintains a mellow everyday perspective, refusing The CW show style of most YA fiction. No soap opera dramatics or larger than life set pieces. It's a lot of casual hanging out and ruminating. Feelings linger then come to a head in a way that's almost uncomfortably real.
Like, the action has mostly already happened. We're instead treated to slow and beautifully rendered developments in Caleb's grieving process. I loved how negative thought spirals were depicted, and the cyclical nature of Caleb's interiority. He'll go back to the same grievances with his family, his friends, and his life over and over, sometimes in a better light than other times, and not always in a linear fashion. It risks criticism of being repetitive, but processing emotions is like that!
-contemporary novels with a speculative element -explorations of grief, substance abuse, and how we heal from trauma -t4t romance and trans best friends -southern arts high school setting + discussions of writer’s block / creativity -references to horror movies and Catcher in the Rye
...then you should read my sophomore young adult novel, THE GHOST OF YOU! <3
You can see specific content warnings for all my novels on my website, michaelgraybulla.com.
This was a deeply personal and at times very emotionally heavy book about a trans boy dealing with his grief overing losing his older brother to a heroin overdose. When Caleb starts seeing a ghost cat, he doesn't know if he's starting to lose it or if perhaps the cat is there to help him deal with his grief. Moving and raw and good on audio, this is highly recommended for fans of books like What about Will by Ellen Hopkins or Ghosts we keep by Mason Deaver (both deal with sibling addiction or death). Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital and audio copy in exchange for my honest review!
CW: drug and alcohol abuse/use, drug overdose, suicidal ideation, suicide of a side character, transphobia, grief, depression
📚The Ghost of You 🖌️Author: Michael Gray Bulla 🖋️Publication: @harper360ya 📝P.g.: 336 🗂️Genre: Young Adult Contemporary Romance
5/⭐️
📌Summary: Caleb’s world broke the day his brother died of a drug overdose. Now in the throes of grief, Caleb hardly ever sees his friends anymore, and school isn’t much better. He’s on the verge of failing his songwriting class, never mind that music used to be his greatest passion. Even Tanya, his best friend, is growing tired of trying to push him back into his life.
But perhaps most concerning of all: A black cat has been following Caleb around a cat that only he can see. A cat that may just be a ghost.
Then Caleb is assigned a songwriting partner in class: Emmett, the nonbinary lead singer of a local punk band. The cat takes a liking to Emmett—and maybe Caleb does, too. As they write together, Caleb begins opening up about his grief, and the two realize they have more in common than expected. Now Caleb will have to decide if he is ready to heal with Emmett’s help—or recede in life and become as invisible as the ghostly cat at his heel.
📌Review: This is a book that steers up many emotions. It deasls with grief and how we can overcome it. Caleb trying to deal with the loss of his brother, faces personal challenges and he finds hard to open up. The author managed to portray realistically the state all the characters are.
📌Thoughts: A definetely must read.
I would like to thank @harper360ya for the free copy.
I'm incredibly thankful to HarperCollins for gifting me a copy of The Ghost Of You by Micheal Gray Bulla. This captivating novel delves into Caleb's emotional journey as he copes with the devastating loss of his brother Jack to drug addiction. The author masterfully portrays Caleb's inner turmoil and showcases how his grief affects his interactions with those around him. One particularly intriguing character is Ghost, a mysterious black cat who becomes Caleb's spectral companion, adding a unique and mystical element to the narrative. The bond between Caleb and Ghost adds depth to the story, highlighting themes of companionship and healing in the face of tragedy.
Exploring the themes of grief, addiction, and companionship, The Ghost Of You offers a poignant and thought-provoking look at how loss can shape our lives. With its rich character development and evocative storytelling, this novel is sure to resonate with readers who enjoy emotionally charged narratives. Dive into Caleb's emotional journey and experience the power of resilience and connection in the face of adversity.
TW; CSA, Drugs, Death of a Sibling #HarperCollins #TheGhostOfYou #MichealGrayBulla #EmotionalJourney #Grief #Addiction #Companionship #Resilience #Healing #PowerfulNarrative
this book is SO DAMN GOOD GAHHHH i am so glad that my library's copy of the ebook was available and even more glad that i borrowed it, because this was an absolutely amazing and enjoyable book to read it was so awesome to see so much diversity in the cast, in terms of race, gender, sexuality, etc. i loved all the characters, especially Emmett, who i relate to and see myself in a lot the way Caleb dealt with his grief with his brother's death felt so real and genuine, which i don't always find in books i'm pretty sure i felt the whole range of human emotions reading this, because i was screaming, crying, gushing, and more the entire time, and had to remind myself that aggressively shaking my laptop wasn't a good idea. i feel kind of bad for my family members who were constantly having to hear me talking to myself and making lots of noises of anger and sadness and joy and really everything in between i'll definitely be reading this again and am definitely going to have to read any of the author's other books
I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by this book and how much I enjoyed it. It is not my usual genre or trope that I read. This book deals with the loss of a loved one, drug addiction, grief, depression, substance abuse, and the LGBTQ community. The author effortlessly portrayed Caleb's emotional and inner turmoil as he tries to deal with the loss of his brother and how that affects the relationships around him.
The Ghost of You offers a riveting and heart-wrenching look at how grief can shape one's every day life and future. This book was filled with emotionally charged narratives, strong character development, and a storyline that will resonate with almost everyone who has lost a loved one.
I highly recommend diving head first into Caleb's story and experiencing the power of resilience and the stages of grief while overcoming adversity for yourself.
I’m not certain that I am the right person to evaluate this book since I am a senior citizen of the Silent Generation and this book is so relevant to Generation Alpha. While gender issues have existed during my entire lifetime, the opportunities to address those issues physically, emotionally, and spiritually have changed dramatically.
Having said this, I found this book emotionally draining even at my age. Caleb is a transgender boy who is not only dealing with that aspect of his life, but also with the death of his older brother. Only Caleb sees a faceless black cat that is there to help him through this difficult period of his life. Themes include substance abuse, family relationships, and strong friendships that make this book worth reading.
I haven’t identified so strongly with a book for so long.
Hello! I’m a lesbian teenager who lost their grandmother recently. I picked up ‘The Ghost of You’ at my local library on whim, just looking for something to read.
But this book is beautiful, raw amazing. It covers grief in a way that shows all the ugly parts, but makes sure to intertwine the growth of Caleb’s character as well.
I also love the themes of trans characters. As someone who is questioning whether they’re non binary or not it really speaks to me.
Thank you, Micheal for writing this novel. You deserve 5 stars and many more!
Wow wow WOOOW. This book was the PERFECT read for cozy vibes over the holiday. It was relatable and heartbreaking and fun and beautifully written. Couldn’t recommend more for someone looking for a queer novel!
I love portrayals of messy grief and that’s what this was all about. Half the book I was internally yelling at Caleb, like, ‘Can’t you see you’re falling down the same path Jack did.’ Caleb’s letting his friendships fall apart, he’s purposely pushing away his support. You understand why, you want them to keep trying for him, but also understand that he’s doing this on purpose and there’s only so much they can do in that case. There were lots of instances of people not knowing how or not being able to help each other or understand each other exactly right, but collectively Caleb’s people supported him and him figuring out how to balance his own needs and problems with what his relationships need to stay afloat. It was emotional and ultimately reassuring.
One of the most important things that I have ever been told was said by the author of this book. I don’t think he knew how deeply it affected me and how i still say it in my head when my grief gets too overwhelming.
He said; “You’re going to be okay. It’s going to be hard, but it will be okay.”
This book, is the living embodiment of that saying.
While being a deep novel that is full of feelings ranging from apparent and easy to see, to subtle and more complex to comprehend, Gray Bulla was able to write a book that genuinely makes the reader FEEL how grief in every sense is unavoidable.
I give compliments to this novel for having queer characters without the entire point of their existence being that they are queer. Yes, they are trans and or bi and or gay and or nonbinary, but they also are a musician, and artist, just a high schooler trying to get to the end of the school day; just like us trans people are at the end of the day, people worthy of books about our lives.
I will be talking about this book and this author until the day i leave this earth. I’ve never been so deeply moved by a book.